xxLisa85xx
New Member
Hi everyone,
I'm brand new to the forums and joined because I have suffered with PCOS for the majority of my adult life (I'm 26). The most difficult part of the condition is the excess body hair. I am literally covered from head to toe in hair; I can grow a beard in 3 days. I don't get out much, purely because the inconvenience of shaving and the anxiety that comes with it (has it grown back? Do I have shaving rash? Can anyone see where it's been?) makes me favour sitting in front of my computer for social interation.
I'm used to the fact I have to shave now, I did try waxing but the hair is so course it took a bit of skin off and left the hair behind. The rest of the hair is covered up with clothes, aside from a few hairs on my chest that are easily maintained.
The reason I need advice is because I have a new, let's say, romantic interest. He's a friend of a friend and we met over 3 years ago but he was in a relationship at the time, but there was no denying we found each other attractive. He lives approx. 20 miles away, and I don't drive so would be relying on public transport, and he works 9 - 5 so I would be going over to his house on the last bus out there. Obviously this means I would have to stay the night. I'm very self concious, not least because of the hirsutism, I am also very overweight. I tend not to stay over at other people's houses because by morning I have very noticable stubble on my chin. I've been skirting around the issue here so I'm just going to come out with it...I'm nervous about having sex with him as there's no way I can rid myself of all the hair on my body. Because I am overweight I can't reach some areas to get rid of it (the bum area).
This is very hard for me to talk about as I find it so embarrasing even thought it's a medical condition and out of my control. I can't bring myself to tell him about it, I'm scared he'll get a bit freaked out by it.
Even though the obvious solution is to not stay over, I feel I deserve a bit of happiness. I'm 26 years old and have NEVER had a boyfriend, not even a date in my life. I have had sex before, in the dark with my top kept on under the duvet. He knows I'm self concious, and assumes it's because of my weight. I do want to stay there, but I think that if it develops into a serious relationship then how will I cope? I will never let him see me naked whilst I'm overweight and covered in hair, and I am trying to lose some weight in the hope that the PCOS will disappear along with it, but it's a long long journey and time is running out. I like him a lot, but I can't keep making excuses as to why I can't stay over. If I didn't stay over then the only time we'd get to see each other is at weekends in the daylight, and if anything intimate were to happen in the daylight there's no way I can hide the hair.
I do really like him, and I enjoy the time we spend together just getting to know each other, but the longer it goes on for I know one day soon we'll have sex. I want to as much as he does, so I don't feel pressured into it by him at all just incase that's how it comes across. I know I don't need a reason to not have sex, but why should I deprive myself of happiness and initimacy? I'm sure other people on this site must have had a similar experience, so please, any advice would be greatly recieved!
Finally, sorry if the above sounds all over the place, even though none of you know me, I'm still a bit nervous talking about it! xx
I'm brand new to the forums and joined because I have suffered with PCOS for the majority of my adult life (I'm 26). The most difficult part of the condition is the excess body hair. I am literally covered from head to toe in hair; I can grow a beard in 3 days. I don't get out much, purely because the inconvenience of shaving and the anxiety that comes with it (has it grown back? Do I have shaving rash? Can anyone see where it's been?) makes me favour sitting in front of my computer for social interation.
I'm used to the fact I have to shave now, I did try waxing but the hair is so course it took a bit of skin off and left the hair behind. The rest of the hair is covered up with clothes, aside from a few hairs on my chest that are easily maintained.
The reason I need advice is because I have a new, let's say, romantic interest. He's a friend of a friend and we met over 3 years ago but he was in a relationship at the time, but there was no denying we found each other attractive. He lives approx. 20 miles away, and I don't drive so would be relying on public transport, and he works 9 - 5 so I would be going over to his house on the last bus out there. Obviously this means I would have to stay the night. I'm very self concious, not least because of the hirsutism, I am also very overweight. I tend not to stay over at other people's houses because by morning I have very noticable stubble on my chin. I've been skirting around the issue here so I'm just going to come out with it...I'm nervous about having sex with him as there's no way I can rid myself of all the hair on my body. Because I am overweight I can't reach some areas to get rid of it (the bum area).
This is very hard for me to talk about as I find it so embarrasing even thought it's a medical condition and out of my control. I can't bring myself to tell him about it, I'm scared he'll get a bit freaked out by it.
Even though the obvious solution is to not stay over, I feel I deserve a bit of happiness. I'm 26 years old and have NEVER had a boyfriend, not even a date in my life. I have had sex before, in the dark with my top kept on under the duvet. He knows I'm self concious, and assumes it's because of my weight. I do want to stay there, but I think that if it develops into a serious relationship then how will I cope? I will never let him see me naked whilst I'm overweight and covered in hair, and I am trying to lose some weight in the hope that the PCOS will disappear along with it, but it's a long long journey and time is running out. I like him a lot, but I can't keep making excuses as to why I can't stay over. If I didn't stay over then the only time we'd get to see each other is at weekends in the daylight, and if anything intimate were to happen in the daylight there's no way I can hide the hair.
I do really like him, and I enjoy the time we spend together just getting to know each other, but the longer it goes on for I know one day soon we'll have sex. I want to as much as he does, so I don't feel pressured into it by him at all just incase that's how it comes across. I know I don't need a reason to not have sex, but why should I deprive myself of happiness and initimacy? I'm sure other people on this site must have had a similar experience, so please, any advice would be greatly recieved!
Finally, sorry if the above sounds all over the place, even though none of you know me, I'm still a bit nervous talking about it! xx