Afraid of Success?

[skinnymongoose]

I've just been reading a thread called 'Afraid of Failure', and I can relate to a lot of that, but I think I am also afraid of success....which sounds crazy I know! Does anyone else know what I mean?

Last year I lost nearly 4 stone on CD, still had a few more to go, but looked different, bought smaller clothes, in many ways felt a whole lot better about myself. But then I noticed that I was being noticed again, it was weird, I'd been invisible for so long, just another overweight middle aged woman, I felt quite scared of attracting attention.

I also felt afraid of the weight falling off, remember one week losing 5lbs and thinking it was too much too fast. Rationally I knew it wasn't but I was still unnerved by it.

So I think I sabotaged myself, I guess to keep myself in my safe zone, which isn't really safe at all from a health point of view!

I realise I sound like a crazy woman but wonder if anyone else has felt this way and what advice you may have for me?
SM

 

[Purple Hugs]

you don't sound like a crazy woman. it's a valid point.
I know a lady that gained weight after she had a stalker.. it was pretty serious and some years back, but she gained weight as protection against unwanted attention. She was already married.

I am of mind that 'i don't know what i look like...' at such and such a weight. I've never been under 11 and a half stone as an adult, and always thought i was fat through my teens - don't know what weight i was.

so there are scary parts to losing weight.. all we can do is take one day at a time.. and go with the losses.. and get to know the 'new' us!

((hugs))

 

[DQ]

I do know exactly how you feel. Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you, apart from hanging around here - at least then you're not alone in your 'weird' moments - well that's my theory!

 

[Cheb]

Hi

I'm afraid of success and also afraid to make my life 'perfect'. Of course it wouldn't really be perfect as I'm sure I'd find lots of other things to stress over but for as long as I can remember my major hang up has been my weight and as everyone has hang ups about something it makes me fit in with the rest of the world. If I don't have my weight to worry about people will think I'm a smug cow with a perfect life and they'll all hate me!

See I'm really wierd!!!!

 

[DQ]

Lol no you're not weird - you just phrased it better than I did!!

 

[Mini]

I just wrote today in my dairy about when I got down to 11 and half stone how I felt I was not ready for it, the fear of losing my fat suit. I had used it for so long like a shell to hide in.

Now I feel I am more prepared

I am literally taking it one day at a time.

Love Mini xxx

 

[chicken on a mission]

Being afraid of success seems to be quite a common problem doesn't it and just goest to show that losing weight isn't just about doing a diet and eating healthily.

Now all we need to do is get the rest of the population to understand that often weight gain is the result of something other than eating too much or the wrong things and hope that pressure can be put on to make the NHS sit up and take notice.

Treating the causes rather than the symptoms is the best way to go in my opinion so although doing the diet is what is visable to everybody and they cheer your losses, getting your head sorted out is far more important than that weeks 3-4lbs loss.



Oh no, did I just go off on one again

 

[DQ]

Treating the causes rather than the symptoms is the best way to go in my opinion so although doing the diet is what is visable to everybody and they cheer your losses, getting your head sorted out is far more important than that weeks 3-4lbs loss.

Thanks Chicken, I needed to read that this morning. Very well put

 

[chicken on a mission]

Glad it helped you sweetie

 

[skinnymongoose]

Thanks for all your replies, good to know I am not alone in this! My CDC reckons it's all to do with low self esteem, so I am reading a couple of books and trying to work on that. I suppose years of being er... large (!) is quite likely to result in low self esteem. Here's to 'getting our heads into gear'!
SM

 

[DQ]

Well don't forget to share what you learn!

 

[skinnymongoose]

Will do!
SM