Alex's Diary - No big goals, just taking one day at a time!

Discussion in 'Xenical Diaries' started by Alex_1978, 21 January 2010 Social URL.

  1. Alex_1978

    Alex_1978 Gold Member

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    Hi everybody, I'm Alex, I'm 31 and I'm new to the forum - but not to dieting :sigh:
    Over the past 10 years I've tried loads of diets (Slimming World, Weight Watchers, calorie counting, Xenical and Reductil) with varied successs.
    My starting weight was 21st 10lbs back in 2001, when I first started Slimming World. I eventually managed to lose 5st 10lbs, but sadly regained most of it.
    After another couple of false starts at Slimming World, losing around 2-3 stone each time (and then regaining it) I went to the doctors in a very tearful state, and asked if there was anything they could do to help me.
    Deep down, I was hoping to be prescribed with something to help with my appetite because I saw (and still see) that to be my biggest downfall. They were reluctant to prescribe Reductil because of its side effects, so I was encouraged to try Xenical instead.
    The next year or so seemed to pass relatively easily, I wasn't an angel, but plodded on with my life, eating healthily and going to get weighed every couple of weeks.
    Gradually the weight dissapeared and I finally surpassed the lowest weight I'd acheived at SW (15st 1) which was a massive phychological hurdle for me. I felt so much better about myself, and generally more comfortable in my own skin.
    Then, back in February 2008, I met my then boyfriend...
    I'd stopped taking the Xenical by then (I'd been taking it for a year and the doctor asked me to take a rest from it), and my boyfriend lived about 50 miles away, so our mentality was to 'make the most' of the time we spent together. This to us meant cooking indulgent meals or ordering pizza on a Saturday night - and the fact that he lived with his mum didn't help, and she had a contstant supply of chocolate and cake to tempt us.
    This isn't meant as a list of excuses, I fully expected to gain half a stone or so, but then I thought that the novelty of the new relationship and all the food treats would wear off, and that I'd get back on track.
    The trouble is that I took my eye off the ball for far too long. Gradually the weight crept back on - first half a stone, then a stone and so it went on.
    Each time I weighed myself I was so shocked at the number I saw - I would stand there and think 'RIGHT - this is it -I will not weight more than this again', but I guess the shock didn't last long enough for me to do anything about it, and I would slip back into the same unhealthly eating habits only to repeat the same scenario on the scales a few weeks later!
    So that's how I came to be where I am now - I'm now single - back on the Orlistat and weighed 264lbs when I got my first prescription at the start of the year (that's a gain of around 6 stone).
    However hard it is, I'm trying not to look backwards too much, what's done is done, so I have to focus on doing it again for the FINAL time.
    I know I can lose the weight - I've proven it before, I just have to be prepared for the long slog, and my big goal is to make sure I find the skills to maintain my weight when I get there! My target weight (around 12st 7lbs) is still way above the ideal weight for my height, but I was happy at that weight - I just wish I'd realised it at the time!
    Now I need to remember how lethargic, sluggish, self conscious and unconfident I feel at this weight, and use it as a warning when I do get to goal.
    So that's me, and my story up to now - so far things are going well this year. I'm back on track, eating well and losing weight. Long may it continue! :)

    Well thanks for reading my story (if you've stuck it out this far!) I hope to get to know you all better, and to join you on your weight-loss journeys (and I promise I don't always ramble on about myself like this!)

    Alex
     
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  3. becca_979

    becca_979 starting again!

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    Diet:
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    Well done for being so honest in your intro!! I can imagine how you feel, but this is a great forum and if you stick with it and keep posting you can do this.

    I've found that a diary helps and keeping touch with others diaries is getting into a routine.

    I find Xenical great, we had donuts in the office today, they were on my desk all day and I wasn't even tempted as I am on such a mission!!

    Good luck!
     
  4. Redkoala

    Redkoala Go on smile! =)

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    Welcome to the forum Alex =] looking forward to seeing your progession wish you all the best with Xenical.

    And well done becca! Fight that urge! :D
     
  5. Alex_1978

    Alex_1978 Gold Member

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    Thanks for the welcome guys, and well done Becca on your willpower! I gave in to a Milky Way cake bar today (very nice!) but it was only 115 cals so not beating myself up too much!

    Other than that, the day's been like this:

    Porridge (Oats so Simple in a sachet cos I can't trust myself with portion control!)
    1 apple mid morning
    1 tin Heinz tomato soup with 1 slice seeded batch bread
    1 Fruseli cereal bar (110cal) mid afternoon
    Aforementioned Milky Way cake bar late afternoon!
    And tonight I'm having left over mushroom risotto that I made the other day (WW recipe apparently)

    This is a pretty typical day for me (except cake bar) but I don't always manage home-cooked recipies - I rely on low fat ready meals bulked up with fresh veg for at least a 2-3 nights each week.

    This weekend I'm gonna be a bit off the rails food-wise as I have a good friend coming to stay tomorrow night, followed by a night in Leicester with him on Sunday. I know I'll eat food I shouldn't, and I know I might gain a pound or two, but I also know that I'm motivated enough to get straight back on track on Tuesday.
    In the past, I've let a planned blip like this carry on for weeks - but not this time!!!

    And I've said it here now, so I've got to stick to my word!!!
     
  6. purple_kathryn

    purple_kathryn Mostly harmless

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    Diet:
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    Hi Alex and welcome!

    good luck with your goals :)
     
  7. becca_979

    becca_979 starting again!

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    Hiya, How's your weekend been? Hope you've had a good one.
     
  8. KittyBling

    KittyBling Gold Member

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    Hi Alex and a belated welcome from me. Hope you had a good weekend (but not too good!) I am just back from a weekend away and know how hard it can be. I have also done the yo-yo thing before and found myself very disillusioned at having to climb the same mountain again and again. This time I am not looking at the big picture but at each small milestone, should that just be to get through the next hour without eating something I shouldn't! I find this works better for me than looking at the weight I need to lose as a whole as I get disheartened easily. Good luck and keep posting, it really helps.

    KB x
     
  9. Alex_1978

    Alex_1978 Gold Member

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    Diet:
    Xenical until March 2011 then Weight Watchers, now Exante (from 4/9/11)
    Hi everybody, and thanks for the posts while I've been away. I had a lovely time this weekend thank you, BUT.... I didn't take my Xenical at all, and I seriously went off the rails food-wise (pizza, fish & chips and a Chinese buffet - but not all in one go!).
    I braved the scales this morning and it looks like I've but about 5 and a half pounds on!! but it is TOM so hard to tell for definite. I knew I'd put a bit on, but not that much!
    Oh well, I'm really annoyed with myself now, but I think I'll handle things differently next time I have friends over to stay, or go away. I'm a big believer in having a few treats here and there, but I need to learn to enjoy myself without associating it with loads of unhealthy food.

    Today I'm back on the rails, and so far I've had:
    Porridge (sachet as always)
    1 slice of toast, with vegetable ravioli
    I've got fruit and a cereal bar to snack on this afternoon and I'm taking my Xenical again.

    Hopefully it won't take long to lose the weekend weight, and I'll be back on track again!

    Did you have a good weekend away KB? I hope you willpower was better than mine!
    Setting small goals seems to work for me too - I did a similar thing when I gave up smoking a few years ago. I didn't ever say 'I'm never going to smoke again', I just decided not to smoke on that particular day, and promised myself that if I wanted to smoke tomorrow then I could. Obviously after a few days of doing that, the cravings subsided and I didn't have to make that conscious decision anymore.
    I suppose it's the same with weight loss in a way, although we can't ever stop eating, like we could with smoking or drinking! The difficulty for me is moderation, and making the right choices when there's so much temptation!
     
  10. purple_kathryn

    purple_kathryn Mostly harmless

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    Diet:
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    I definitely think setting small goals helps but don't beat yourself up if you miss them. 1lb off is 1lb less that you have to lose!
     
  11. Eric_Cartman

    Eric_Cartman Full Member

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    Hi, I had an off weekend last week where I was away from home staying with relations , this consisted of cakes , roast beef then a fry up on Sunday morning , I gained 3lbs which I thought was a disaster but I managed to shift it by Wednesday so hopefully you will lose it as quick as I did:)
     
  12. Alex_1978

    Alex_1978 Gold Member

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    Thanks guys,
    The past couple of days have been better, so I've lost at least some of the weight I gained at the weekend. It's encouraging to hear that you lost yours so quickly Eric - just noticed that we both want to lose a similar amount of weight :)

    I've been on a course today, which meant missing my usual healthy snacks (they were all in my desk drawer at work). Unfortunately, the course leader set out little pots of Jelly Babies and Minstrels on the tables so I absent mindedly nibbled on them throughout the day!
    Having said that, all I had for lunch was a salad (Co-op chicken & bacon - 285 Kcal) so I had a few spare calories to play with, and I didn't scoff the lot!
    For tea, I've just had a jacket potato with Tesco vegetable curry (from their take-away section), and it was absolutely lovely.

    Just settling down to a cuppa and Holby City.
     
  13. Alex_1978

    Alex_1978 Gold Member

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    Diet:
    Xenical until March 2011 then Weight Watchers, now Exante (from 4/9/11)
    Good day today on the whole :):
    Porridge
    Tomato soup with one slice of bread
    Apple
    Tesco light choices lasagne with veg
    Alpen light bar

    And that's it!!
    I even did 30 mins on the Wii Fit after being inspired by PK's determination to exercise despite hating it, like me!
    Quite enjoying the boxing on there actually........ did I actually just say enjoy???!
     
  14. Alex_1978

    Alex_1978 Gold Member

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    Forgot to say - I've almost lost all the weight I gained at the weekend (5 and a half pounds!) - just another pound and three-quarters to go, then I'm back on the straight and narrow :)
     
  15. KittyBling

    KittyBling Gold Member

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    Well done, that wasn't long going.
     
  16. purple_kathryn

    purple_kathryn Mostly harmless

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    Yay :)
     
  17. Eric_Cartman

    Eric_Cartman Full Member

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    Well done , it's surprising how quickly the added weight comes off!!!
     
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  19. Alex_1978

    Alex_1978 Gold Member

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    I'm feeling postive and motivated today!! :) Not sure why, but I'll go with it while it lasts!

    I had a good day yesterday - ate normally, and even managed to resist a full table full of buffet food last night! It was crammed full of all the things I like to eat: chilli, wedges, doritos & dips, cheese straws, fairy cakes, coconut cake.... and all I has was one potato wedge and a forkfull of chilli (lovely).
    I know I could've had a bit more of the chilli, but I'd already had my tea, so I decided to test my willpower, and I won! Wohooo :)

    Except for that, yesterday I ate:
    Porridge
    Dorset cereal bar - berries and cherries (they're new and they're GORGEOUS)
    Satsuma
    WW vegetable soup with 2 slices of bread
    Jacket potato with tuna mayo (extra light mayo)
    few grapes

    3-4 vodka and diet cokes

    I also got my EA Sports Active game for the Wii, that I ordered on t'internet. It looks from what I've seen, but I haven't had chance to figure it out properly yet....I think I need to remember that I'm not going to get fit just looking at the box!!!
     
  20. backhander

    backhander fatgirl slim! lol

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    Hey guys! Started on xenical yesterday!! Ive tried everything from weightwatchers to the cambridge diet and it works but i can just never stick to it (bad willpower) lol im hoping that with the side effects being sooo horrific it will keep me strong and stop me from eating the things i shouldnt! im on day 2 and nothing bad yet so fingers crossed it stays like that! i currently weigh 15st 1lb my goal is 12 stone by august this year ahhhh its so scary im going on a girly holiday again this year all my mates are fitness fanatics and models!!! I just dont wanna be "the fat one" anymore! ...well i'll keep updating on my progress and probably start a diary soon :) i find all ur success very inspiring i hope i can be an inspiration just like most of you one day x x x
     
  21. KittyBling

    KittyBling Gold Member

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    Welcome, backhander and good idea about the diary, even if you just ramble as I do it's really helpful to focus the mind.
    Alex, really well done on the will power, you must be "in the zone" good and proper!
     
  22. Alex_1978

    Alex_1978 Gold Member

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    10st5lb
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    Diet:
    Xenical until March 2011 then Weight Watchers, now Exante (from 4/9/11)
    Thanks KB, I think I am in 'the zone' now...it's funny that you described it like that, because I had the same thought before I came on here and read your post!
    It's been aggggeeess since I've felt this motivated and determined - usually if I'm faced with temptation I think "**** it, I deserve a treat/it's only a one off/I'll get back on track tomorrow" - but this time it seems different.

    Yesterday I had:
    Satsuma (got up late so this was my brekkie)
    Jacket spud & tuna mayo (extra light mayo)
    Tesco chicken wrapped in bacon & cheese (probaby well over the 5% fat rule, but the calories were OK)
    Swede, Carrots, New Potatoes and Brocolli
    Weight Watchers mini magnum ice cream type thing (don't bother buying these, they're TINY!!!)

    I also went for a walk with my friend for well over an hour!! (and I even suggested it!!!) :)
    We're lucky to live really near a lovely lake called Rudyard Lake (apparently Rudyard Kipling was named after it)...anyway, the weather was lovely yesterday, really cold but crisp and sunny, so the walk was really nice. I got a little bit out of breath, so I know it would've done me some good, but I didn't feel so out of breath that I didn't enjoy it.

    Now i'm just trying to stay focussed until I go to Japan on Thursday, and my goal after that will be to not lose the plot while I'm there!!!

    And that's it for now....welcome Backhander, I'm sure you'll be fine with the Xenical - as long as you stay under the 5% fat per 100g of food rule, you won't have any problems, and the tablets will silently do their job!
    Let us know how you're doing, and yes, do start a diary. I've found it really useful for the short time I've been here, and I know It'll be even more useful when I'm struggling and need extra support and advice!
    Good luck with your weight loss!

    By the way - I've woken up to a fresh blanket of snow outside!!!
     
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