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Am I being selfish??


Full Member
S: 12st0lb C: 10st4.5lb G: 10st0lb Loss: 1st9.5lb(13.99%)
4 years ago my brother decided to move to the USA with his family, my parents have managed to go out there and see him once or twice as have I with my family (hubby and little boy) but it's not something that we can do regularly as it's so expensive.

As Mum and Dad have now retired my brother has asked them to go and stay out there for 6 months!

I can see that this would be lovely for them but I will miss them terribly as we are really close. I speak to them at least once every day and although we now live in different parts of the country I see them a lot, at least once a month. My little boy has a very strong bond with both of them as well and I know that he will miss them both so much.

Am I being selfish?? I can't help thinking that my brother made the choice to go and live in another country and that it's unfair of him to take our parents over there for such a long time??

My hubby says i'm over reacting, just wondered what others thought??
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I think if your parents want to and can then they should go for it. It's their retirement and they should enjoy it.
Yes you and your son will miss them but it's only for 6 months not forever.
With internet/emails/Skype you can still talk regularly. I'm sure your son would find chatting with granny on a video call through Skype quite exciting.
I can understand you missing them but think you are being a little bit selfish in them not wanting to go. They should make most of their retirement.

Mrs V

Loves Life!
S: 21st7lb C: 12st5lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 9st2lb(42.52%)
I have to agree with Smokes.
Yes, there is no doubt that you and your Son are going to miss them, but it is only for 6 months and not forever.
Yes, your Brother made the decision to move over to USA, but he has a right to see his parents too and if they are happy to go over for that time, then you should try and share that with them.
Skype is fantastic and cheap! There are other ways that you will see your parents Hun.

S: 9st11lb C: 8st9lb G: 8st9lb BMI: 22.1 Loss: 1st2lb(11.68%)
You're obviously upset at not seeing your parents for 6 months. But you brother doesn't get to see them that often.

Yes he did chose to live in the US but he wants to see his parents.

It's a lovely idea for them to visit for so long, they'll love spending time with him & his family; having new experiences; nice weather. Your parents will get so much from this visit.

Once you've had time to calm down you will see how much it will benefit your parents.
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I think that perhaps you should allow yourself some time to get used to the idea. Also, have a look at what you have written in your original post, especially the phrase "it's unfair of him to take our parents over there for such a long time".

He is not "taking" them. He has asked them and they have decided that they would like to go. No-one is taking anything away from you. You can keep in touch with emails and video links (which I bet your little boy will find fascinating).

It is a generous offer from your brother, and a great treat for your parents. I think you know this, really, and although your reaction is understandable, you know it isn't reasonable or you wouldn't have asked us in the first place.

Be pleased for them.


Full Member
S: 12st0lb C: 10st4.5lb G: 10st0lb Loss: 1st9.5lb(13.99%)
Thank you all for your wonderfully honest opinions :eek:

I am happy for them and I know they will have a wonderful time.

I am a bit concerned as my Mum isn't 100% sure about going for that length of time but she will just go with the flow. Dad on the other hand would probably stay for longer if he could!

I use Skype regularly to speak to my brother and also to speak to Mum and Dad as they like to be able to see my little one ... it's wonderful technology but it's in absolutely no way any substitution for the real thing. Especially when you havn't seen someone for a long time (i've not seen my brother for 18 months or so and therefore have only met my 2year old nephew twice)

You are all right, ultimately it is their decision and at the end of the day I wouldn't want to stop them, but I think that because I miss my brother so much i'm worried that it will be even worse without Mum & Dad :sigh:

Mrs V

Loves Life!
S: 21st7lb C: 12st5lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 9st2lb(42.52%)
They will be back Hun. (Hugs)



I am one of the 63336
S: 20st3lb C: 20st3lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 44.3 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
It must have been a shock to you to find out they are going away for so long.

Just a thought, how recent does it seem Christmas was? It was nearly 8 months ago but seems like yesterday.


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