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Am I just a selfish cow?


Silver Member
Here we go
Warning I am about to have a good old rant.

My OH of 5 years works away quite a lot so quite often he leaves on a Monday about 5am and doesn't return until Friday 6pm.

Last week he worked away all week then came home Thursday night.
Friday morning off on a stag weekend till Monday night.
Then off to work away again Tuesday and back tonight about 5pm.
So really I haven't actually seen him or done anything with him for 12 days.
Just spoke to him to sa y what are we doing tonight and all I got what "oh I don't know, my mate Keith is out so probably go to the pub and see him" I am raging. We are also spending either sunday or monday with so called "mate Keith, his wife and baby so not like we never going to see them.
Should I be as annoyed as i am for wanting an answer like "darling i have not seen you for 2 weeks so why don't we do something together"
sorry folks.
the phone call ended with me saying "do we need to go to the pub?" and himsaying " aw, don't be like that, blah blah, you always get funny about me going out blah blah.

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hun i know how u feel my hubby is the same he works away and when he does come back ill be at work so he thinks it ok to go to pub all day and night or when im off hes like i thought u be at work but i like u had enough and well we ve been away i told him how i felt he said he didnt realise so maybe u need to do the same just tell him how u feel xx
OMg sounds abit like me, although my oh lives and works in leic and i from wales (just moving up slowely now) and when he DOES come down to visit some weekends, sometimes he is like "oh sorry babe i got to pick my mums dogs up from kennels", OR "sorry babe i got to work"

So i know exactly how you feel... really p's me off..

Can you go with him tonight? perhaps say why dont we go out for a meal then to meet keith ?

or when he gets back tell him exactly how you feel.. ?


Silver Member
What actually do something that doesn't just involve the pub? Are you mental?
I am just a bit angry at the minute.
well at least now I know that its not just me
hi peachy, sometimes men really dont have any brains when it comes to stuff like this. I'd just tell him straight what you think. Thats so unfair on you.

becky x
show him how angry you are when he gets back.. tell him straight!! you have to for the sake of your relationship.. or you could be like me and bottle it up and get frustrated then start to be funny and it goes down etc... i have finally told mine my feelings, had it out with him big time lastnight, to the stage where i ended up slapping him seriously.... he said oh donna i didnt realise i am so sorry blah blah...

so i will see how these 2 weeks go by now with me in wales him up here :(

good luck anyway...


Silver Member
I feel like phoning all my mates and just going straight to the pub myself, then he'll see I can do that as well


Proper Little Madam
Next Friday night when he is due home, don't be in...arrange a night out with the girls or go to a friends house...even take yourself off to the pictures. You're not being selfish, he is taking you for granted. It's time to shake him up a bit and he needs to realise you're not always going to be around if you don't get treated right.
P.S. If he rings you during the week...miss a few of his phonecalls...let him start wondering a bit.


Full Member
I agree with Gaynor - instead of waiting around for him, you go out. Tell him (but with very little notice) that your going wherever, keep him dangling. See how much he likes it. Good luck.


Silver Member
Hi peachy
I've just gone and found this really funny book called "Everything I know about men I learnt from my dog" It basically compares men to dogs (apt in a lot of cases!) It says:

"dogs hate being ignored. If your dog behaves badly, the best way to teach him this will not be tolerated is to simply ignore him. Act completely uninterested in him and don't make eye contact. Busy yourself by doing other things and he will try harder to get your attention. Ultimately, he will resort to dropping his favourite toys in your lap as a way of saying sorry. When this happens, pat his head and give him a kiss; his relief will make him think long and hard before doing that again"

LMAO!!!! Maybe you should do as Gaynor suggests xx
I have to say I'd be pretty cheesed off if my OH did that to me after 12 days away. I dont blame you one bit being p'd off.

I'm with those suggesting a taste of his own medicine.

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