Annorexic Tendancies

Discussion in 'Bring your Head Inside and your Body will Follow' started by shelz, 26 March 2010 Social URL.

  1. shelz

    shelz Silver Member

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    Have any of you ever reach a point where you think you are begining to have annorexic tendancies.

    I find myself calorie counting constantly; always thinking about the best/fewest foods I could eat a day to make the calories I consume the absolute minimum.

    I find myself exercising as much as I can; always for an hour a day... but some days i will do an hour 20 DVD and then do 30 minutes of other exercise as well. I will run around work so busily in order to burn the most amount of calories possible.

    If I dont exercise I feel extremely extremely guilt. Since christmas there has been 3 days where I haven't done a DVD or a gym session.

    I have been known, in the past - and previous days - to take laxatives after I feel like I have binged in excess (last couple of days this was due to about 200g of raisins each day.

    I have pairs of size 6 jeans/trousers under my bed as motivation. I would LOVE to fit into these again; I think they need to go really.

    I have a figure in my head and I dont think I will be completely at piece with me until I reach this figure. Only I think when I get to that figure it will get lower and lower.

    Every time I get up from sitting/lying I go light headed. Everytime, sometime to the point that I will fall over.

    Do any of you have any tendancies like these? Strange one for this forum I know.
     
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  3. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I don't, except for a time in my teens when I became scared of food and borderline anorexic weight.

    You've had this problem for a few years now Shelz and I'm wondering if you've ever considered getting help for it?

    I hope that doesn't offend. Just know that there's little support for people with this type of eating disorder on forums and how destructive it is.
     
  4. ~chickydee~

    ~chickydee~ Full Member

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    Hi
    I think if you are having these issues you should seek help, go to your GP.
    I've been suffering from bulimia for 3 years now and its horrible, i'd been dieting since i was about 14 and i became obsessed like you, calorie counting and everything, so every time i go over i'm left with the feeling of guilt that wont go away until ive purged. I know its not nice to know but i went to my GP only recently as i kept denying i had a problem. I got counselling and was referred to a dieticain so dont suffer in silence and it really is better to talk about it it makes you feel that much better!
    Take care xx
     
  5. judith55

    judith55 Silver Member

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    Shelz, I think the fact that you have been brave enough to make this post is wonderful. I posted on your thread about the raisins and nearly said something about whether you might be drifting towards anorexia but I didn't want to offend you. Through my work I have met people with this terrible condition and I can only urge you to speak to someone sooner rather than later. Please be careful.
     
  6. Desperate For Chocolate

    Desperate For Chocolate Member

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    A great many of the "symptoms" you describe are typical to most successful dieters.

    Most dieters count calories obsessively, most exercise and feel guilty when they don't. Most have an ideal weight that keeps going down and it is by no means unusual to have a pair of skinny jeans you are determined to get into.

    Anorexia is a whole different ball game.

    I suffered from both anorexia and bulimia all through my twenties and you pretty much know you have an eating disorder no matter how much you deny it to other people. If you know you have crossed the line between dedicated dieter and ana sufferer, get help NOW.

    However to put it into perspective, obesity is a far, far more common disease and every bit as deadly as anorexia.

    There are far more of us killing ourselves from gluttony than there are people starving themselves to death in a country of plenty.
     
    Last edited: 28 March 2010
  7. shelz

    shelz Silver Member

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    so tell me how you know you have crossed the line?
     
  8. Desperate For Chocolate

    Desperate For Chocolate Member

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    Eating less than 500 calories a day, regarding a 200 calorie day as a success. Obsessively watching other people eat and hiding the fact that you don't eat from everyone around you. Wearing baggy clothes to disguise weight loss. Abusing laxatives. Fasting and calling it detoxing.

    Any and all of the above and a few I haven't mentioned.

    The thing is do you think you have anorexia?

    Only you can really know, everyone else is just guessing.
     
  9. shelz

    shelz Silver Member

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    I have been known to take laxatives (up to 6) a night after I think I have had a bad food day (over 600 calories). I barely eat more than 600 a day.

    The more exercise I can get away with the better. Whether its running, walking, wii fitting, exercise DVDs, gym - whatever really! On Saturday this stretched to two hours 20 minutes. It was only after a discussion with my boyfriend that he put a stop to me getting up early this week before work to do an extra 50 minute workout ontop of the 80 minute one I do later. I also walk at lunch time for 30 minutes.

    If I could get away with not eating I would. I enjoy making food for others and the expressions that they have on their faces when they are eating. I feel so off put by eating at the table and infront of anyone other than my boyfriend. He thinks as long as I have three small meals a day I'm ok. Most days this consists of bran - handful minus milk, salad at lunch (leaves) and an apple and something like ww soup for tea.

    I've always been a fan of baggy clothes - my recent football shirt is an age 13-14 and baggy.

    I dont know - maybe I need help.
     
  10. judith55

    judith55 Silver Member

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    I'm sorry, Desperate for Chocolate but I don't agree with you and can't help but feel that this post is almost telling Shelz that she is no different to the rest of us so she shouldn't worry. This isn't what she needs to be told as she is clearly describing anorexia (sorry to talk about you in the third person, Shelz). It is also a feature of some anorexics that they like to tell other people about how they control their weight as they think it is impressive when their audience often thinks its is the opposite. (Its a bit like self-harmers wearing short-sleeved shirts.) Sorry Shelz but maybe there is a bit of "bragging" in your posts when you must know that very, very few people on this site can be consuming as little as you without being on a vlc sole source diet. I think you should definately get help as the more you describe your behaviour the more I feel concerned for your health and wellbeing. Tough love is about not always telling you what you want to hear.
     
  11. shelz

    shelz Silver Member

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    My weight is still healthy for my height though.

    I'm going to go and see a doctor.
     
  12. judith55

    judith55 Silver Member

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    I think your weight is just at the lower end of normal and that's why it is a good time to stop losing. And for women like you trying to grasp maintenance can be scarier than losing. Keep posting and good luck sweetie. xx
     
  13. Desperate For Chocolate

    Desperate For Chocolate Member

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    I agree with a great deal of what you say.

    However I have the feeling Shelz is actually trying to talk herself into anorexia.

    In light of her last post, I do think she should seek some kind of professional help.

    As should anyone with an unhealthy relationship with food
     
  14. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I think officially, you have to be a certain BMI or lower to be classed as anorexia, but sadly there's many borderline cases or variations on a theme such as EDNOS

    Personally I don't think the BMI matters too much in these cases, it's what's going on in the head that's important. The behaviours, the thoughts etc. The weight is just a reflection of this type of thinking, and may not truly reflect it if other things are going on such as bingeing, or periods of normality.

    I wouldn't dream of diagnosing you Shelz ;) but I'll tell you about another girl that comes on minimins and 'elsewhere'.

    She has EDNOS though probably anorexic now. She pops in occasionally. Usually it's to tell us how little she's eating. She asks advice. Is 400 calories too much? I've only lost 2lbs this week!:cry: I'm doing 2 hours running/spinning/gym a day, but still not losing any quicker :cry:

    etc etc

    People will reply telling her to eat more, but she'll either ignore them, or promise that she will when a certain date comes up. Or she will promise she'll stop eating so little when the exams are over, or when she moves, or after her birthday or when she's lost just a few pounds more. It's always a few pounds more whatever her weight.

    And so it goes on. Each time the same sort of questions, the same 'asking advice', the same replies. It always sounds like she's bragging about how little she's eating. Can never work whether she's really saying "help me!", or whether she's trying to shock, or perhaps she's looking for someone who will make her change. Who knows.

    And then every now and again she'll cry for help. She'll talk about how awful she feels. The lack of energy, the problem with her teeth and she's knows why its happening, but can't stop herself. She is desperate for us to stop her, but no amount of talking will work until she realises that it's got to come from inside her.

    As I say, the weight isn't as important as the behaviours that go with it.

    So Shelz. Recognise any of that? I hope you don't get as extreme as this girl as she knows she's ruined her life.

    Oh and another thing. She's had loads of help from the medical profession and it hasn't appeared to make any difference. Why? Because she still doesn't want to change enough so quick to dismiss the help she's offered it appears. What she's doing has too powerful a hold.

    BTW, I think she was a healthy weight when I was alerted to her first post on another forum. It was like watching a car crash about to happen and you just can't help but call out Stop!

    So get yourself to the doctors to talk about this, but think first. If they say you have a problem, do you really want to change it yet? Or will that have to wait until after the holiday/wedding/christmas/whatever?
     
  15. shelz

    shelz Silver Member

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    My focus now is maintenance maintenance maintenance! Happy healthy thoughts, listening to the ones around me.

    Thanks for all your input guys!
     
  16. IrishMum

    IrishMum A little of everything!

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    Yayy!!! If you mean it, and can do it, then you've made me (for one!) very happy. :D:D:D
    You're a beautiful woman who has the love of a good man- don't throw it all away. Keep yourself healthy- thats the best gift you can give to yourself!
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  17. 1974rach

    1974rach Gold Member

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    Hi Shelz.

    Please please be careful... your BMI is creeping into the underweight category, and while I have the opposite problem to you (being in the morbidly obese bit) I do understand your feelings around food.

    You say you barely eat more than 600 calories a day and that worries me. For example, I've just started Rosemary Conley and the first two weeks of the plan are 1200 calories - twice what you're eating.

    Pop and see your doctor, explain your concerns to them but please go.


    xxx
     
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  19. shelz

    shelz Silver Member

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    I watched Supersize v's Superskinny last night with my fiance. To be honest it really hurt. There were parts in it that rang so true.

    For example the supermarket and picking things up, looking at calorie content, putting them down, doing the same with other items, sticking to what i know wont hurt me. Time and time over again.

    Another part that hurt was the tube, where they put their food for a week. The girl was eating 1000 calories a day, which meant she was undereating by 3.5 days a week - this really shocked me - I eat 600 a day on a good day - how much must I be undereating by?

    Se was asked why she had her porridge with water instead of milk; her reply was simply because milk is wasted calories.

    My fiance could tell the bits that hurt as he made sure during these parts he cuddled me extra tight and really didnt let go. At the end of the show we had a little chat and he made sure that I'd always go to him for support; hes the one I turn to; hes the one I listen to; hes my everything.
     
  20. livi

    livi Committed Loser

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    I watched it last too Shelz and the supermarket bit was so poignant. The other bit that affected me was watching that lady cry tears of joy about finishing her baked potatoe. I do that every lunch time...without thinking. It almost made me feel selfish

    I know I'm morbidly obese and don't have that to worry about but I worry for those that do. It's just as dangerous as being 30stone...
     
  21. shelz

    shelz Silver Member

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    I totally agree; both are as damaging as one another. I think the people in the house are made to realise it too.
     
  22. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    He's sounds great! You must marry him. Don't delay...do it now ;)

    Also sounds like you've turned a corner here Shelz. No going back now. Eat food and enjoy. Careful, but not too much. Keep an eye on the scales, but only to make sure they aren't going down (and not too much up either).

    Have fun. Live life to the full and enjoy life with your man :)
     
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