Another Parent Question

[curvesncurls]

Following on from the thread about parents, I'm not 19 (ahem) but am back living at home for various reasons. My family are all for losing weight, we need it. Anyhow, I've just finished my last vanilla cappuchino sachet, don't really need anymore, so no need to syn them. We're all supposed to be getting on the SW wagon on Monday, fruit and veg and food bought. My mother, who has put on lots of weight and it's giving her hip problems, has just arrived home with a couple of multipacks of crisps - because they were on special offer. I'm raging!!! If they're in the house, you'll be thinking about them and craving them - WHY?? WHY?? WHY??
She's miserable about her weight (as am I) and her friend has just lost 2 1/2 stone, she said she's disgusted that she can't do likewise. So why buy the !"£$%^&*ing crisps then??!!
So, if I say something, there'll be an almightyful row and tears and the whole 9 yards, so do I just start myself and see will she join me if and when it's working for me?
We're the typical comfort eaters - my little niece is putting on a bit of a tummy and my mother tells her not to be eating rubbish, but takes her to the shop for a treat a few times a week. Grrrrrr! It's her way of showing she cares, but she can't be told.
Is it just bite my tongue and get on with it myself? I feel such a cow 'cos she just got a photo of herself at a wedding and was disgusted at how she looks, but can't seem to do anything about it?
Any advice? And please be gentle about her - mother/daughter relationships are strange things!!

 

[Cheekypasterfield]

Hiya personally I think you start your weight loss journey and give your mum all the support she needs till she is ready to start her own journey. Then you can both continue to do SW together.

My best friend I are both meant to be doing SW, yet a month in I'm following the plan and she is still in the starting blocks with her 'reasons'

I've discussed the issue with her and although she has the good intentions, there is still no action. It was causing friction between us but I realised I can't push her to do it, she will do it in her own time/own way.

Good luck x

 

[time2bslim]

my son has recently come back home to live and has gained quite a bit of weight since living with his girlfriend for 18 months .................

I've been back on SW for 4.5 months now and just do not buy any fatty or high cal foods in the house - and he's asking for them - so my situation is the other way around.

So I have suggested to DS that he buys whatever 'nicies' he wants and hide them in his bedroom. Maybe you could start SW and suggest to your mum that whatever she buys that doesnt' really fit in with your plan could she hide them so you don't' know where they are? AND ask her to eat them when you are not around.

kinda compromise and hopefully no arguments.

good luck

 

[curvesncurls]

Yeah, I guess she's just not there yet. Thanks for the replies xx

 

[MadameLaMinx]

Sometimes we do things out of habit, see a special offer, pick it up without thinking.. You have your focus on the goal ahead, which is great!! She's maybe not quite there yet but when she sees the results you start achieving she soon will be!!

So what you do now is bite your lip, and stay focussed on what is important to you. Your results will soon have the rest of the family following suit but you need to stick to your guns as far as your own eating and take pride in any moments where you refuse to go off plan. As others have said, this is very much a personal thing, and you have to be in control for it to work for you- let her draw her own conclusions in her own time and be a good example in the meantime!!

 

[curvesncurls]

Great reply!
Bite my lip - doesn't come easy to me, still it'll give me something to do when I'm trying to ignore a craving!!!

 

[Jennyonaplate]

She might have taken too much notice of the 'no food is banned' part of food optimising!!

If you focus on your own weightloss, your mum's attitude might change if she sees you eating well and losing weight.

I've had to move back home, and it is hard trying to lose weight in a house full of people that aren't (and need to), but as it isn't my house, I can't constantly comment on what other people are doing, or expect them to act any differently simply because i'm on a diet. I've been cooking a lot of the meals, and everyone seems to have enjoyed the food so far - so they might change their ways in the long run, but at the end of the day, they're adults and that choice is up to them.

 

[kt_baybeh]

curvesncurls, my parents are the same!
My mum has no interest in SW but doesn't force food or anything on me!
My dad started SW last year with me and once he got to target he just pigs out constantly and tries to get me to eat it!
Go it alone hun....it can be done! when the time is right your mum will join in!
My dad has finally realised he's become a piggy and he is starting again on Monday too!

Kate x

 

[abermans]

I have joined SW to help my 11 yo boy to loose some weight as he was getting on the heavy side. Since then (september) I lost 2 st and got back to my target (pretty much where I was 15 years ago). My son is still on his way (lost 10lbs). This week my 15 yo daughter joined. So it is a proper family effort.
I did find that my wife (same weight from the day I set my eyes on her 22 years ago) finds it hard not to syn the kids once a day with some treat. I wish she hadn't but cannot open a battle front for this. At the end of the day, the kids are listening just like me to the SW consultant and should know what is good for them. There will always be temptations around. The idea is knowing how to say no when you need to avoid the fatty options.

Sam

 

[Lucky7]

I think when you're food shopping it's often on autopilot. Your mum will probably have to work hard to train herself to not pick up things she's bought regularly for years. Also the supermarkets are very good at selling us things we don't need by giving us those irresistable bargains. I don't even walk down the crisps or sweets aisles NOW. But it took a while. Maybe online shopping would be an idea. You could do is together if she isn't confident using the computer.

 

[Donzy84]

I've started back and although my hubby eats all sw meals he still has his snacks so when they're in the cupboard, I calculate the syns and stick a bit of paper on them with syns, that way I can't plead ignorance that i ate them not knowing the syns and more often than not once you know the syn value it puts you off anyway. (Doesn't always work though especially if you've had a glass of wine!)

 

[nettie]

i think you should start yourself and maybe when your family see your weighloss and see how easy it is they may realise that they can do it too. if your parents by the food in the house then thats where you may need extra determination to stay away from the foods that are easily available to you. i think i would struggle if my OH brought junk food into the house.
good luck with the weight loss and although you know your mother should be starting too, she may not be ready to make the changes x

 

[Happy Holidays]

Well I'd work out the syns for each bag and put a sticky or something similar on the bag. And say to your mum, 'thanks for the crisps, but at X amount of syns we only have X amount left per day, so think I'll save them as a treat'. That way you don't get into a row with your mum and you are re-inforcing the SW plan.

I'd also be inclined to get a list going of all the 'nice' things mum buys & put the syns on those.

 

[RegField]

You can't change other people's behaviour, and you are not responsible for it.

You can, however, take responsibility for yourself and your own life, and it is possible that someone else might be motivated by your example. But if they aren't, it isn't your fault.