any LLC's out there who can help.......

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by tootsie, 23 February 2007 Social URL.

  1. tootsie

    tootsie Silver Member

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    Hi all

    Are ther any LL councellors out there who can help me out with a particular issue.

    I have a very good friend who is on the road to self distruction and she has turned to me and only me to help her out......

    The story....

    She is 24 years old, very very pretty girl and lost about 3 stone last year on WW. She looks fantastic. She has an increddibly loving partner, a job, lives at home, has a little debt (but what 24 year old dosn't) but..

    she is suffering terribly with anxiety, low self esteem, depression. She is drinking far too much which is putting her further down that spiral and is almost out of control.

    I am a huge fan of the CBT we have been doing in group and have been talking to her about this. Now, 2 nights ago we had a really good chat about it and she seemed really up for it, positive, wants to make the change and asked me to help her, obviously I said I would. She wants to find a group therapy session, similar to ours but not for lossing weight as she has no need to.

    Then, last night I saw her, she hadn't been home, went straight to the pub after work, I saw her abot 9 and she was trollied!! She went on and on at me about how she wanted to be like me (I am almost 10years older than her), I told her not to aspire to be like anyone else but to try and improve herself and feel comfortable with who she is, she feels like she is letting me down, she thinks I am disappointed in her etc etc, you know how pi**ed people can be. I am so not any of those things, I just want to help.

    Anyway, sorry for rambling but my question is.....

    Do any of you know of any generic CBT councelling groups in Surrey or do you know where I can find out as the world wide web is not coming up with anything. She has been to her doc's but not particularly helpful!!!

    Thanks in advance....
     
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  3. Kate

    Kate CDC/PT/PITA

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    Hiya

    LL counsellors aren't allowed to post on forums but someone else might be able to help.

    Just giving you the heads up in case you are disappointed when you don't hear from any LLCs.
     
  4. tootsie

    tootsie Silver Member

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    Hey thanks Kate, didn't know that!!

    Anyone, can you help?????
     
  5. icemoose

    icemoose The Diet Guy

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  6. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

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  7. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

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    i had individual CBT about 18 months ago and it was AMAZING!!

    Is there any reason ur friend wants a group instead of individual? I personally wouldnt pay to share my time... and with individual therapy it is all very focused. hope ur friend finds a good one and that it does her some good.

    xxxx
     
  8. tootsie

    tootsie Silver Member

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    thanks guys, will have a look......

    Karen, she wants group so she can share and listen ( I guess it's a reasurrance thing that she is not alone!!)

    Thanks again xx
     
  9. AmandaJayne

    AmandaJayne Trainee Maintainer

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    Tootsie, she's very lucky to have a friend like you!

    You've been given some really good advice.

    One more bit is - don't let HER problem become YOUR problem. Don't let her become dependant on you to sort out her difficulties (like she is the 'child' to your 'adult').

    I do agree though that it will be difficult to watch her self-destruct, if that's what she wants to do. I think you already know that people often have to 'scrape the bottom of their barrel' before being 'ready' to get and accept help.

    I agree that 'one on one' CBT is a great idea. I have recently recommended this form of support to a colleague in work for related issues. It is up to her to make the decision about whether to do anything about it.

    Good luck!
     
  10. tootsie

    tootsie Silver Member

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    Hi AJ

    Many thanks for your reply.. I am being very careful not to let this have an impact on my life and the way I feel. There was a time when all would come to me wih their problems and I would almost relish in the fact that I was helping someone out, it took my mind away from trying to sort myself out i guess. The very brief CBT work I have been doing for me has altered the way I deal with situations tremendously and am very aware now that I come first.....

    AJ, I am loving your diary thread, sorry to hear you are having a rough time with the kids, they are certainly put on this earth to try us at times, good luck
     
  11. Pixie

    Pixie Silver Member

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    Toots,

    I really think she needs to go to alcoholics anon...
    They do similar counselling.
    Do you think her problem with alcohol is dominant enough in her life to warrant that?
    TBH if she was my patient thats what I would suggest.
    Good luck hunx
     
  12. tootsie

    tootsie Silver Member

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    Hi Pixie

    I really really do think you are right. I spoke to her yeaterday and gave her a whole list of numbers and websites. I also called our local NHS councelling advisory service and had a great chat with a lady there. One of the things she said, and I didn't bring it up, was that if she is drinking too much and/or using illegal drugs then she needs to stop/cut right down as this is a huge factor for anxiety and depression.

    I spoke to my friend about this in a very diplomatic and sensitive way, well I think so, and her reply was "what is wrong in having a drink after work, going out at weekends etc, i really enjoy it. I am only 24 for gods sake, everyone my age does this" I didn't respond to this but just thought, no not everyone does it to the extent you do....

    I spoke to someone else actually and they recommended AA as it dosn't actually have to be for alcoholics but is a fantastic tool for all sorts of issues.. I know if I suggested AA she would laugh in my face, she is denieing that drink is a problem for her but it quite obviously is!!!
     
  13. Pixie

    Pixie Silver Member

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    God yeah hun it sounds like it!
    I dont have massive experiance with alcohol dependency but I have experiance of working with patients with eating disorders and self harm issues and they all present the same kind of denial.
    I say 121 counselling for now just to get her to admit she has a problem.
    The salvation army offer a fantastic service which they just ask for a donation for, maybe something like this is worth trying as it seems less formal than attending a meeting or clinic?
    Yeah 24 year olds go out and get pissed all the time but when it starts to affect her family and friends thats when there is a problem.
    Addicts are always the last to see though,as overeaters like me are :eek:
     
  14. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    Hi tootsie,

    I'm sorry I've only just seen this request from you as I've been on and off the site for the last week. I googled Drug and Alcohol agencies for the Surrey area and came up with a link below that may help you. The Acorn Project looks like a similar type of agency to the one I work for.

    Surrey Contacts - SADAS

    AA is very successful for some people and I have clients who have made amazing changes to their lives after taking onboard fully the ethos of the organisation but you have to have decided that you don't want to drink alcohol at all.

    Maybe if your friend prefers to reduce/control her drinking levels, then regular sessions at a street level agency may help. The most common intervention used in Addictions work is CBT and motivational interviewing so maybe this may be a possibility.

    At the end of the day, your friend has to want to make changes. I know how frustrating and worrying it is for friends and family to stand by and watch. All you can do I believe is just be there if she decides to make changes.

    Best wishes and let us all know how things go,

    Lacey x:)
     
    Last edited: 4 March 2007
  15. tootsie

    tootsie Silver Member

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    hey, thanks Lacey. She is not ready to admitt that she needs to get professional help yet but I am sure that will come.....
     
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