Arguement with my 10 year old!

yoga84

Gold Member
So this morning I got up and went downstairs and my son was already up and watching tv (he's a very early riser). I went to give him a hug and he pushed me off him and told me to get off him.

For some reason I got really upset and told him off (I know he was just being a stroppy boy!) I said to him that sometimes I need a hug too and asked him to think how he would feel if I pushed him away when he needed a cuddle. He got upset and said he was sorry and cuddled me.

Problem is now I feel really guilty and upset for upsetting him. It's just me and him and we normally get along like a house on fire and this has just upset me :-( I'm not sure why I even reacted in the first place as I never let him see when I'm down etc??!

Sorry to vent girls but I know you would understand and give me some sound advice :)

(Thanks goodness I'm in an UD today!)

Alex
Xx
 
Awwww big hug to you xx

Don't feel guilty, he will have forgotten about it already. These boys can be stroppy and forget us lovely mums need our cuddles from our children. I have an 8 yr old son and love my cuddles from him. A few months ago I had to tell him off for something and he told me he hated me for the first time (am sure it won't be the last time as he grows up lol) I was so upset I nearly cried and told him this was a very hurtful thing to say. He was sorry he'd hurt my feelings but when I thought about it, he didn't realise that what he said would have such an impact. Anyway sorry for waffling my point is they are just stroppy boys as u said and they don't realise their actions have an effect on us but on the same token they forget about us telling them off so don't feel guilty about it!!

Hope the rest today goes ok xxxx
 
When I was on cd I was very tetchy,could it be that? 10 years old are the new teenagers! I know I've got t 11 grandson, very stroppy indeed prehaps he was just in a little strop.I'm sure he would have given you a cuddle if not for that. Don't beat yourself p about this he probably forgotten it already.
Enjoy your up day :) x
 
Morning Alex

Sometimes it's tough being a mum, huh? But your job is to teach him and it sounds like you taught him well this morning; he will naturally be upset because he realises now that he shouldn't have pushed you away.

Supergran's right, he will have forgotten about it by now and so should you.

Hurrah for UP days, grab a choccie biscuit :D

P xxx
 
You could have called him an ignorant selfish twat and ended up in a slagging match. It scares me the way some parents talk to their kids.

What you did was much better. You taught him empathy and it will have made him a better person. Short term grief for long term gain.

You deserve a huge pat on the back.
 
twinklyjojo said:
Awwww big hug to you xx

Don't feel guilty, he will have forgotten about it already. These boys can be stroppy and forget us lovely mums need our cuddles from our children. I have an 8 yr old son and love my cuddles from him. A few months ago I had to tell him off for something and he told me he hated me for the first time (am sure it won't be the last time as he grows up lol) I was so upset I nearly cried and told him this was a very hurtful thing to say. He was sorry he'd hurt my feelings but when I thought about it, he didn't realise that what he said would have such an impact. Anyway sorry for waffling my point is they are just stroppy boys as u said and they don't realise their actions have an effect on us but on the same token they forget about us telling them off so don't feel guilty about it!!

Hope the rest today goes ok xxxx

Thank you Twinkly - good to know I'm not the only one lol! And you're right they don't realise the impact of what they do atm at all... It's still all about them - as it should be I guess :)
 
supergran said:
When I was on cd I was very tetchy,could it be that? 10 years old are the new teenagers! I know I've got t 11 grandson, very stroppy indeed prehaps he was just in a little strop.I'm sure he would have given you a cuddle if not for that. Don't beat yourself p about this he probably forgotten it already.
Enjoy your up day :) x

Thanks Supergran... And you are so right about 10 being the new teenager - I need to remember that!! X
 
Paulinegin said:
Morning Alex

Sometimes it's tough being a mum, huh? But your job is to teach him and it sounds like you taught him well this morning; he will naturally be upset because he realises now that he shouldn't have pushed you away.

Supergran's right, he will have forgotten about it by now and so should you.

Hurrah for UP days, grab a choccie biscuit :D

P xxx

Already done that Pauline... You read my mind lol! Xx
 
halfangelhalftart said:
You could have called him an ignorant selfish twat and ended up in a slagging match. It scares me the way some parents talk to their kids.

What you did was much better. You taught him empathy and it will have made him a better person. Short term grief for long term gain.

You deserve a huge pat on the back.

Ahh thank you - that's so lovely :) Made me feel a lot better about how I handled it :)
 
Wait till he s a teenager I have to literally beg my 15 yr old for a hug, then I have to lift his arms up lol ha ha, I know he still loves me but when they get older they find it harder to show it then they get a bit older and they are Mammy s boys again (not in a bad way, you know what I mean ) that what my Mum told me anyway and she has 3 boys, she doesn't have to ask for kisses now, they spoil her like mad. Not that this is happening with your son its just that they go from looking for hugs to hiding from them and sometimes it can be a shock to the system. I think you did the right thing for what its worth as he hurt your feelings albeit without realising that was what he was doing but you made him aware that others have feelings too and thats a good thing.
 
bajoleth said:
Wait till he s a teenager I have to literally beg my 15 yr old for a hug, then I have to lift his arms up lol ha ha, I know he still loves me but when they get older they find it harder to show it then they get a bit older and they are Mammy s boys again (not in a bad way, you know what I mean ) that what my Mum told me anyway and she has 3 boys, she doesn't have to ask for kisses now, they spoil her like mad. Not that this is happening with your son its just that they go from looking for hugs to hiding from them and sometimes it can be a shock to the system. I think you did the right thing for what its worth as he hurt your feelings albeit without realising that was what he was doing but you made him aware that others have feelings too and thats a good thing.

Great advise - thank you :) He has been extra lovely since I told him he'd upset me... So I guess he does love me and he's just going through a phase! Xx
 
Aw poor you! I have been there with my 8 yr old, they just get so engrossed in what they are doing they dont mean it. I agree that he has probably totally forgotten it. Can you do something nice with him later? some baking or a walk?? Hope you enjoyed your choccie bicky! x
 
halfangelhalftart said:
You could have called him an ignorant selfish twat and ended up in a slagging match. It scares me the way some parents talk to their kids.

What you did was much better. You taught him empathy and it will have made him a better person. Short term grief for long term gain.

You deserve a huge pat on the back.

Lovely reply, so true x
 
Louise44 said:
Aw poor you! I have been there with my 8 yr old, they just get so engrossed in what they are doing they dont mean it. I agree that he has probably totally forgotten it. Can you do something nice with him later? some baking or a walk?? Hope you enjoyed your choccie bicky! x

We are going to the cinema later so should be nice :) Chocolate hobnobs - mmmmm yummy!!!
 
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