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Arguments!

jaylou

Gold Member
#1
I have a bit of a temper but very rarely argue as I try to keep it under control and I hate arguing - so much energy and effort and all negativity.
However, when I do row with hubby (like this weekend) there is only one thing we row about - kids. Mine, his, and the way we bring/brought them up.
It leaves me very very drained but it's very "never the twain shall meet" on that subject.

So it got me thinking - you lovely people like to share, so what do you argue about, and who do you argue with, do you enjoy a good row or does it leave you feeling like rubbish (like me!)

Over to you guys...........
 
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S: 11st5.0lb C: 11st2.0lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 0st3lb(1.89%)
#2
i hate arguing! makes me feel really guilty and like im a horrible person! but sometimes u need to let it all out, and those arguments i think are good ones, like wen me an oh argue and tell each other what we really think about certain things, everything is better and the air is cleared! im not a very confrontational person but i do ***** admittedly..but dont we all! imo its not as bad as going up to someone and making them feel like **** by telling them every little thing that pisses u off about them, imagine how bad u would feel if someone did it to you lol but thats just me :) xxx
 

CAPRICORN

Gold Member
S: 17st11lb C: 16st4lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 37.9 Loss: 1st7lb(8.43%)
#4
I used to have a rotten temper and a viscious mouth once I started :eek:but since I met my now hubby its like *poof* and its gone (so much so we have never had a proper argument:faint2:) :D Its very rare for me n hubby to even squabble-apparently though I do "vision no sound" -where I might not be saying anything but my face makes it quite obvious I ain't happy :rotflmao:
 

fillymum

synful soul
S: 107kg C: 85kg G: 79kg BMI: 33.2 Loss: 22kg(20.56%)
#5
For 20 years I was married to a man who was verbally violent and abusive so I avoid rows at all costs. I am so lucky that my DH now hates rows as much as I do and we rarely argue and then if we do it is always quietly and reasonably.

However................ I am a fighter of causes and I can not bear injustice, rudeness or bad manners and will always be the defender of someone or something that I think deserves it and argue their corner until I am blue in the face.

For me an argument is always a last stop. I can not bear the feeling of arguing.
 
S: 11st5.0lb C: 11st2.0lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 0st3lb(1.89%)
#6
Oh no, I'd never do that! I know people who do and it makes me cringe.
i know! or people who are just overly abrupt and rude! my old boss was like that, if he wasnt interested in what you were saying he would just cut u off goin"yeah yeah yeah yeah"until you stopped talking! xx
 

kdub24

I Will & I Can!!
S: 11st9.5lb C: 10st3lb G: 9st9lb BMI: 23.1 Loss: 1st6.5lb(12.54%)
#7
i spent yrs rowing with my ex and i hate it. but i can be very augumentative and i have to have the last word and i hate that about myself, i try hard to not be like it but i cant help it :(

me and my bf row about money and petty things which lead to bigger rows and its rare aswell thank god.

lifes too short to argue so i avoid it so much its exhausting :(
 

Lexie_dog

UNLEASHING THE BEAST!
S: 15st12.5lb C: 15st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 0st3.5lb(1.57%)
#8
We tend to have reasonable discussions where we don't lose our temper. Admittedly I'm much more guilty of losing it and then I start crying because I feel like poo.

Saying that I was arguing with someone a few weeks back, and I lost it, like really lost it (to be fair I did say twice to drop the subject as I was having a hard time containing what I really wanted to say in a nice way). I shouted at the guy so much he actually started crying.

There are loads of stuff that pushes my buttons, but usually I appreciate that people don't have the same opinion as me. I might not like it, but I appreciate its how things work. This argument though was about the baby and I said to this guy I didn't want him smoking near/around my baby. He, instead of saying, "fair enough" told me I was "stupid" "over protective" and "putting your baby at risk of cot death by living in Glasgow" "There's always been smoking around babies and they've not all died. I mean people have babies in wars and they don't die". Aside from the asinine arguments he was putting forward to come into my home and tell me that my decisions about y baby are stupid when there's proven evidence to support my decision was just, well, like he had a death wish.

I've never felt particularly maternal, but this got my maternal side going. He wasn't directly threatening my baby but I could have cheerfully knocked his pan in. It just felt wrong. :(

Me and hubby argue about everything, politics, religon but in a healthy discursive way. We'll never agree on those things but it's good, it stops us becoming complacent. Which is to say I enjoy a good debate but not an aggressive argument.
 

julie19

Silver Member
G: 10st0lb
#10
me & the OH rarely argue, when we do it is always over money though but we are good in that we don't stew on it, it happens then we both get over it, my worst trait is that I find it hard to admit I am in the wrong (but that is meant to be a feminine thing isn't it??). My ex & I used to argue all the time, he was a horrible, horrible man so maybe that is why I don't do it as much now, the OH now is so laidback he is almost vertical, which at times drives me nuts because nothing fazes him!
 

Maverick

Gold Member
S: 10st7lb C: 9st13.5lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 24.7 Loss: 0st7.5lb(5.1%)
#11
Me and my bf don't argue much, we rarely disagree in fact. Yesterday we had what you would probably call our first disagreement. It was nothing major, nothing to do with our relationship, but he didn't like me telling him I thought he was wrong. Later on in the day tho he conceded he had over-reacted and therefore I won!!

We both hate arguing tho, I get upset really eaily if I start arguing with someone, anyone in fact!! And even tho most of bfs previous relationships have been fairly volatile in terms or arguing, he reckons I calm him down, and have the discussion with him before it gets out of hand, where he and exes would get off on screaming at each other. He doesn't want to scream at me, and I very rarely lose my temper so don't do much screaming anyway.

I'm more likely to sulk, which I have learnt from previous relationships can be just as bad, because things are left bottled up and that's when the resentment begins. I understand all this and make much more of an effort not to bottle things up with bf, so I think our relationship works better.

 

jaylou

Gold Member
#12
Ah yes, sulking.... I don't sulk as such, but I do dwell on things and bottle them up and then the potential is there to explode. Not pretty.
 

dawnwynne

Full Member
S: 15st10lb C: 13st8lb G: 11st6lb Loss: 2st2lb(13.64%)
#13
My OH and I very rarely argue, no point really, he knows who's always right! ;) Seriously we hardly ever argue and when we did it was about his or my children (we have none together but 5 between us). When we both realised that neither one of us would give an inch when it came to the children we made a conscious decision to let things lie, it wasn't worth the argument. Things have moved on tremendously since those days and the children are no longer an issue as they are now all adults. I love a peaceful live...now if I was to see an injustice, someone abusing a child etc., there would be no holding me back.
 
S: 14st13lb C: 14st13lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 38.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#14
we bicker! we never argue, but we bicker lol.

he constantly nags me about being tidy, and i nag him about not moving fast enough/always being late (REALLY gets on my titties)

men!
 
#15
I tend not to argue too much with OH - been together 12 years which is pretty much my entire adult life and have probably had 3 proper arguments in that time - all of which stem from one of us being inconsiderate towards the other. It alreadys makes me feel rubbish no matter whose at fault. We have both learnt to take a deep breath and consider if what we've heard is really worth an argument.
Having said this - we do not, nor will we ever have, kids - which i imagine would change the dynamics rather!
One thing which does bug me - and occassionally i do blow my top is his complete inability to accept that fairies do NOT do cooking, washing up, washing etc etc. that in fact it is his full time working , earning 4 times what he does wife who does it all and sometimes it would be nice to come home (3 hours after him btw) to a clean kitchen and a meal!!!!! This is what you get for moving in with a bloke straight from his parents when he is a youngest child!
One day i will employ a cleaner!!!:)
 

aislingb

loves a curlywurly
S: 16st2lb C: 13st7.5lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 29.7 Loss: 2st8.5lb(16.15%)
#16
I hate arguing too whats the point. me and my husband dont argue at all and no one believes me but its true.. he's laid back and calm and im the opposite so he really calms me down when im stressed!
I used to have massive rows with my brother up until a few years ago which used to leave me physically and mentally drained but we're fine now! everyone gets a bit peed off sometimes and takes it out on someone they shouldnt but thats normal no one is perfect :)
 
S: 9st11lb C: 8st9lb G: 8st9lb BMI: 22.1 Loss: 1st2lb(11.68%)
#17
What a brilliant thread.

I'm a calm, easy going person, always positive. But what really gets my goat is OH is so negative & pessimistic. Most of the time I just ignore him - yep that does work. He is at his worst at the airport, when he really does try my patience.:sigh:

Usually we have little bickers, like tonight, he wants to do an online ISA for this tax year (ok it's little late, but that's men). We have a joint Barclays, Barclays in my name & Barclays saving in my name. So online I went & when I get to the part about which account it's to come out off, he gets all shirty, as the account name/number is his Halifax account........ erm hello, we're on Barclays, nope he was insistent, so he logs onto his Halifax account to find out he was wrong;) & now all is well in the Whittle household;)

Infact, I'm finishing on here & going to make a brew & have some chocci:D

And I need to add, as well as being negative & pessimistic he doesn't like making decisions. Which works well because I do;), so we can't argue about what I've done because he won't make the decision & therefore can't comment, phew. They do say opposites attract.
 

Medusa

Full Member
#18
Apparently I'm very like my father. We're both impatient and quick tempered. :D Having said that I will explode - rant for 5 mins - then it's over. He's the same. We don't hang onto an argument.

My mother has a slow burning very cold temper that involves weeks of not talking and insists on a formal apology. THAT ties me up in knots. :(
 

lildanni

Full Member
S: 13st10lb C: 11st3lb G: 8st2lb BMI: 30.7 Loss: 2st7lb(18.23%)
#19
I never argue....never sulk, never get mad at people and 99.9% of the time have a smile on my face.

It's not in my nature to argue or be angry lol

Does have it's downsides though...for example OH has gone out again tonight...that I don't mind but it's the going out for a drink afterwards that I mind...ESP whilst I'm stuck in at home quite poorly. As usual though, all I've done is go "yes love, see u soon" instead of saying what I really felt lol
 

daisykins

Full Member
S: 11st4lb C: 9st5.5lb G: 8st7lb BMI: 24.8 Loss: 1st12.5lb(16.77%)
#20
Most of the time Im easy going, just have heated debates. Hardly ever have a massive argument.
But one broke out at the weekend..
We went out and had a nice mothers day on saturday. Dp was being lovely and we had a little time alone, while mum took the children to feed the ducks. Everything was fine. Got home dp was fine than for no reason he changed. I tried asking what was wrong, we had a great day why are you cross, what did i do.
He wouldn't tell me just sulked off upstairs. This made me very angry. I just cant stand mind games.
Since then he has been fine and helpful, but he still hasn't told me what his problem was. I suspect it's money worries, but I wish he didn't take it out on me.
 


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