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Avoiding social gatherings

pesty

Fighting the bulge
S: 13st13.5lb C: 13st2.5lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.7 Loss: 0st11lb(5.63%)
#2
I dont refuse them or avoid them, i love going out!! Just from the second i agree to them i start fretting that im going to sabotage myself and trying to think of ways to stay good!!

Its a nightmare really i change my mind about 20 times and wont leave with out a small picnic in my bag!! lol

xx
 
S: 16st9lb C: 11st10lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 28.6 Loss: 4st13lb(29.61%)
#3
I used to avoid things but now im trying to make as much effort as possible to go to as many things as possible to get my confidence up and be able to be 'normal'.
 

millux

Slim for Summer!
S: 15st5lb G: 9st7lb
#4
Nope, if I'm out I just stick to a few nice glasses of water & feel proud of myself for not giving in, it's nice to feel in control as opposed to "Oh no! I'm going out! I guess I'll just -have- to eat/drink & ruin my diet/hard work!". It's almost like some people use it as a self-sabotaging excuse to cheat on their diet & whatnot (not aimed at you). I sometimes just feign acute illness on occassion so that I don't have to eat if I'm hiding the whole diet thing. :p
 

pesty

Fighting the bulge
S: 13st13.5lb C: 13st2.5lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.7 Loss: 0st11lb(5.63%)
#5
When im out i dont feel like im sabotaging myself - im normally really good, its just the build up to it! I know how to optimise when i am out so i dont know why i worry.

It's also when im out for a meal, if im with friends or family they're always analysing what im having and asking why im having it or if im being a bit naughty say - 'you're not allowed that' I hate that!! I am allowed it, im allowed to eat whatever i want I just choose not to or choose to syn it!!

Grrr lol
 
S: 21st2lb C: 16st6.5lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.1 Loss: 4st9.5lb(22.13%)
#6
i avoid them cause i'm scared of being photographed/people seeing me. how sad is that. x
 

pesty

Fighting the bulge
S: 13st13.5lb C: 13st2.5lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.7 Loss: 0st11lb(5.63%)
#7
That's not sad at all!!! I hate seeing people i know if im out having a meal, it puts me off my food, especially people from school. I feel like im being judged!!

If im out having a drink though i love it :)
 
S: 21st2lb C: 16st6.5lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.1 Loss: 4st9.5lb(22.13%)
#8
it is a bit sad for a 22 year old girl to not want to go out though ey! :( never mind. i'll get there eventually. x
 

pesty

Fighting the bulge
S: 13st13.5lb C: 13st2.5lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.7 Loss: 0st11lb(5.63%)
#9
Im 21 :) its a confidence thing for me, i was much worse when i was younger, i didnt go out anywhere ever if i ever did i would spend most of it hiding until id lost some of my weight and gained confidence. I started by going down my local pub a bit more often and they really helped me lift my head up a bit xx
 

hchappyh

Silver Member
S: 15st2lb G: 9st11lb
#10
Hi
I don't mind going out for a meal, and also know what I can/cannot eat. My biggest fear has always been what to wear, especially if with a load of thin friends. Then I decide that at least we're sitting down for most of the evening so end up going for a real sexy(ish) top and then comfy trousers/skirt that way I feel confident and no-one can see the wobbly bits until we're leaving and by then who cares!

xx
 
S: 15st0lb C: 15st0lb G: 9st4lb BMI: 37.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#11
Pesty my family are exactly the same with the "oh but you can't eat that" stuff! Drives me up the wall!

I don't avoid gatherings, and generally I do OK, but I tend to stick to diet coke and if I have the calories left vodka, I end up feeling miserable if I just drink water all night, because I feel like I stand out.

I think the key for me is to plan ahead what I'll have, especially if I'm going to be eating out, that way I already know what I'm going to have and don't worry about it when I'm out.
And choosing clothes I don't feel like a whale in, but that still look OK makes all the difference to whether I enjoy myself or not too.
 

breadbin

Full Member
S: 19st7lb C: 18st12lb G: 14st4lb BMI: 36.8 Loss: 0st9lb(3.3%)
#12
i love going out for food and drink and just out with friends:) for me the social aspect is way more important to the weight but i know thats not true for everyone. i also let my hair down when i do go out cos its not that often really couple times a week.
 

shelz

Silver Member
#13
While I dont like doing it I have just cancelled a meal tonight. My excuse was I needed to save funds for moving out at the end of the month - not entirely a lie - but I know the night could of been cheap if I wanted it to be.

Eating habbits cant rule your life - social or other. April is going to be the tackling month - onwards and upwards from here!
 

Lola~Belle

Full Member
S: 21st13lb C: 21st13lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 52.7 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#14
I like going out...especially to eat as I'm a real foodie. I also don't feel guilty for 'cheating' on my diet if I eat what I want when I'm out. I just make the effort to do a bit more exercise tomorrow.

I'm going out tonight as it's my OH's birthday celebration (this one is with friends). It's my birthday next week and OH and I always go to our favourite restaurant for our own joint celebration as our birthdays are so close together. And my parents have invite us for dinner at the weekend...so that's 3 'bad' meals in a short space of time but I won't let is set my diet efforts back or make me feel bad. I have to realise that this is my life and unless I'm going to shut myself away from the world forever (and I did too much of that when I was at my heaviest so I don't want to go back there) then I have to learn to make my social life fit with my weight loss efforts. I'm not suddenly going to get to goal weight and be able to eat and drink as I like...I have to accept that weight management will be a aprt of my life forever so I need to find ways now to make my social life fit around losing weight...or losing weight fit around my social life...as I'm not prepared to compromise on either.
 
S: 14st2lb C: 13st8lb G: 8st11lb BMI: 37.1 Loss: 0st8lb(4.04%)
#15
Hi
I don't mind going out for a meal, and also know what I can/cannot eat. My biggest fear has always been what to wear, especially if with a load of thin friends. Then I decide that at least we're sitting down for most of the evening so end up going for a real sexy(ish) top and then comfy trousers/skirt that way I feel confident and no-one can see the wobbly bits until we're leaving and by then who cares!

xx
Oh I can so relate to that. Its made worse because I also havent bought new clothes for a long time, I find it so depressing to shop! And now I look at clothes and think that instead of buying something now I will wait till I lose a bit more weight (or all of it) before I buy clothes. So like you, I kinda plan the clothing to suit the level of activity and try to wear what I at least 'feel' good in even if it doesnt look so great... Thats often a bigger worry for me than what I will or wont be able to eat while out!
 
S: 19st13lb C: 19st13lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 47.9 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#16
I've been pretty lucky so far in terms of there being no massive social engagements happening. My SIL to be told me yesterday that she wanted to organise a cocktail/meal out evening for me and her other bridesmaids, which I'm cool with; I'll avoid the cocktails (I'm not a big drinker anyway, so maybe a G&T which is low in points, or diet coke) and chose the healthy option wherever we go.

If I go out with friends or my boyfriend, they are really kind to me and ask me where I can "go" (via the Eat Out guide) so we usually land at Pizza Express - I really like it there, and I can point it.

This year I have 3 weddings to go too - so we'll see how that pans out in terms of the sit down meals (for two) and the buffet (for my brothers) - but I'm aware of what is good and bad, and if I decide to stretch my points out I'll compensate for the next day and do more exercise. One day off doesn't mean a week off, which is been my downfall before.
 

kellierocks

Silver Member
S: 14st2lb C: 12st8.5lb G: 11st13lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 1st7.5lb(10.86%)
#17
it is a bit sad for a 22 year old girl to not want to go out though ey! :( never mind. i'll get there eventually. x
its more normal than you think.
I'm 28 now,and if I could I'd go back to the 12 year old me, the 18 year old me, the 22 year old me, I'd tell me to relax and tell me to enjoy it.I'd tell em to say yes when i was saying no. the main critic i had always telling me I was fat and ugly was me. the more harshly i talked to myself, the more ashamed i felt, the fatter i got...

Oddly i never judge ppl on appearances, couldnt tell if my bf lost weight or gained it, yet i expected everyone else to be judging me.:( what a waste of my life.i now treat myself better, and focus on talking to ppl, and hearing about them, to stop me standing thinking, what are they thinking about me.
 

Purple_Star

Silver Member
S: 20st0lb C: 12st11lb G: 11st7lb Loss: 7st3lb(36.07%)
#18
I am ok so long as I get some say where we are going, therefore I can pick somewhere that I know will have a healthy option. But I hate being invited to peoples houses since I know I won't have any choice in what I have. I have regularly turned down nights out because I am afraid I won't be able to stick to healthy eating, which I think is pretty stupid really!! I am trying to get out of that bad habit now.
 

hchappyh

Silver Member
S: 15st2lb G: 9st11lb
#19
I think it's important to go out and socialise with people. Otherwise we become hermit like and friendless. You can never have enough friends. If you feel to self conscience, maybe go out for a drink, or to people's hses for coffee. It doesn't always have to be out for a meal!

Good luck
xx
 
S: 11st13lb C: 11st13lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 29.6 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#20
Whether eating out or at other people's houses, I tried watching what thin people do. They eat what they want and are happy to leave things.

It's not easy, but I try to force myself not always to say yes to food or nibbles. Anything I think is too fattening, I refuse on the basis that I've just eaten; I don't like it; or I'm full up. I've found that people accept these reasons whereas if you say you're dieting they keep on trying to tempt you.

It may be lying but quite frankly I don't care.

Tracey
 


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