Here I am first time ever on writing on a forum, been a lurker for many a while.This time last year I had lost nearly 8 stone and was feeling on top of the world!!! then, my life turned upside down, I lost my darling dad my lovely lovely dad it was a very very short illness but I did spend his last five days with him sleeping at the side of his bed in hospital even though he was asleep telling him my secrets and how much I loved him and mum and that I would look after my disabled mum and he could go and get some very well deserved rest, as he had been mums full time and only carer for six years. After dads funeral mum had to come and live with me and my family 65 miles away from where she had always lived. Mum couldnt walk or look after herself and the death of someone who had been with her for over 54 years was too much for her to bear she became confused and it was extremely difficult. After six weeks mum got a flat 10 mins away and my dh and I decorated it after work on a night and at weekends and filled it mum and dads belongings, mum could only be left alone for short times and working full time life was exhausting. We managed to move mum in and on the Wednesday night when mum had been in the flat for just over a week, I came away after showering her and putting her to bed thinking "this could work we can be okay" The next day mum was in hospital, she had fallen in the flat and we found her on the floor, she spent 11 weeks in hospital and became very immobile and not able to help herself, she had a lot of bad bad days where you couldnt get a word from her and despite all the tests and assessments in the end they said that mum would have to live in a nursing home. Eventually she started to settle in the nursing home and my life became a bit more bearable, my diet and my going to the gym had gone through the window by this point, I had a phone call in the middle of the night -my mum had died in her sleep- not quite eight months after losing dad - my life turned upside down again. I became 50 in March and by this time I didnt care much about what happened to me - I dare not stand on the scales, I knew by my mobility how much weight I had put back on, then one night I watched a programme about a woman who was extremely big and was given a year to lose a lot of weight, I started to look on line and bumped on to minimins started lurking in the background. Then I dug my credit card out of my purse and joined slimming world online, paying £80 for 3 months made me start to take things seriously. I got on the scales and found my weight was back up there again, I had only 6lbs left out of my weight loss, I was back at 24 stone 7lbs - I started my diet the same day - 5 weeks on I have lost my first stone - slowly but surely I am getting my life back for me, for my darling darling husband who I couldnt cope without, for my wonderful son and daughter and my grandson aged 8 years and my baby grandaughter 9 months. I will do this, I will get it back, I will feel better - I have lost my mum and dad who were the most wonderful parents but I know that I cant let me lose myself - thanks to you all for your inspiration and your stories, they are the things that stop me reaching for a bag of crisps or a bar of chocolate. Keep posting and keep my spirits up - you are all additions to my family xxxxxxxxxxxx
