Bad reactions?

[and]

I know there's another thread somewhere along these lines but I can't find it.

My mother is getting pushier and pushier with the, "you've lost enough weight" line.

FFS mother my BMI is only JUST hit 25 this week... I want to lose a bit more. I am NOT wasting away.

I keep telling her this, keep pointing out times when I was thinner and she didn't think I was a stick but does she listen? Nope.
Tonight my son said that I don't need to lose more weight now, why do I do this stupid diet and can't I just eat healthy food (he's just spent a few days with her).

ARRRGHHH!!! Why does she want me to be overweight?! Does she seriously think i'm going to be anorexic?

My bf also said, "please don't become stick thin"... Yeah, like that will ever happen.

Why do people want us to be fat? My bmi was about 31.5 when I started - that's not good!

 

[weasey]

This is common. It's because people care about you and they are used to you at a heavier weight. Your transformation has been quick and they are surprised when they see you. Because the difference is so stark they want you to stop. However, I spend a lot of time talking to people who restart the LL plan. Those who lost lots of weight with LL then put it back on and are now back again. The second most common reason they give me is that they stopped before they were ready because of pressure from other people. My mum started putting pressure on me to stop when my bmi was still 33! I did point out that I was still obese at the time! She lives 300 miles away though so I don't see her that often - otherwise I'm sure the pressure on me would be strong. My husband is supportive, but even he has shown a little concern and asked where I will stop. I have agreed with him that I will get to my mid health point in the bmi (22.5), which for me is 10 stone, and then either stop or discuss it with him before deciding to carry on. I am seeing my mum in a couple of weeks for the first time since January and at that point I'm sure she'll be putting huge pressure on me to stop. I have been socialising her to the idea that I will be a size 10 when I stop, although she keeps saying that a size 12 would be healthier. I'm going to take down a sales brochure for a sports shop and show her all the healthy women and tell her that they are size 10s!

This is your journey. It is important that you reach the goal which you want to reach for yourself. I would suggest that you tell them what you're aiming for - they may protest but it would set their minds at rest that you are not going to get an eating disorder. A mid range healthy bmi is one possibility - how can they complain about mid range?! Also the way I explain it is that I need to have some wiggle room where I can put on a bit of weight and take it off again during maintenance without going outside of my healthy weight range. If you can tell them under what conditions you will stop it will help them - a certain weight - a certain size clothes - something else? Then they will be able to check how close you are to your goal but know that there is a stopping point. Good luck!

 

[and]

So it's mothers in particular?

You'd think that saying, "midrange" or "size 10-12" or even, "look how FAT my bloody belly still is " might work but nope.

Ah well... Refeed, maintain for a couple of months and then hopefully have the strength to do the last stone and a bit.

 

[xDONNAx]

Don't give up until you are 100% happy, good luck x

 

[ilikepencils]

I used to get this reaction when I lost a lot of weight years ago. Looking back I wish people had been more supportive, but my body image back then was warped. I remember thinking I was still obese (I guess it takes your mind a while to catch up with your body) but I was in fact a size 8/10 with a bmi of about 24. I would LOVE to be that weight again but I hope I'm more aware this time around. I'll definitely have a talk with the "you'll waste away" brigade about healthy bmi's if it happens when I'm close to goal again - which seems like a lifetime away atm!

Hope it goes well when you see your mum in 2 weeks!

 

[glassyjess]

Is people's warped idea that bigger is healthier! Listen to the science and you can't go far wrong. Show your Mum the chart & explain to her how healthy, fit & alive you already feel. Explain the negative effect her comments have, she probably doesn't even realise it. If she knows you are happier now she can't begrudge that! X

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[MatthewV]

Do what you want to do. Honestly, people usually criticize when they are jealous. Keep at it and do it because you want to do it.

 

[slimsarah]

Nobody knows I'm following a vlcd. My bmi is 33 and yet I'm told I look like I'm wasting away. I'm told not to lose too much more! I'm obese. Not even just overweight. I'm actually still obese yet being told to stop losing weight. I sometimes think its jealousy with certain people however I think some people are really genuinely concerned. When alls said and done we are doing this in a healthy way. We are aiming for a healthy bmi (or thereabouts for me) xxx

 

[lilbit]

I am seeing my mum in a couple of weeks for the first time since January and at that point I'm sure she'll be putting huge pressure on me to stop

Weasey, how was your mums reaction when you saw her? Did she put pressure on your like you thought? And I can see from your ticker you are just a few lbs off your target now... how is your husband feeling and did you decide to stop at 22.5BMI or keep going a bit?

 

[weasey]

I didn't see my mum in the end as she hasn't been well and was too ill to travel to the family party. She saw photos of me at the party though and said i was looking too thin. Im only 3 lbs off goal now though so she's happy enough. I have decided to stop at 22.5 bmi and my hubby is happy with that. Although ive still got a bit of tummy fat my ribs are starting to show too much and im not happy with losing more. I guess the rest will have to be via exercise...

 

[AliGal]

Your earlier post was very wise, Weasey. I tried to add to your reputation - but the system told me I had to spread reputation around a bit! I've obviously acknowledged some of your other great posts!

Ali