Bekie's CD Diary ... Day 5 and Hungry =(

Discussion in 'Weight Loss Diaries' started by Bekie, 18 April 2007 Social URL.

  1. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    I met with my Cambridge counsellor this morning and she is lovely, i really feel comfortable with her and so in awe of her loss too. Decided i will be starting Friday as i am still on Antibiotics until Thursday because of this damn Tonsillitis! Looking forward to it but also really scared... I know i have a strong addiction to food and it scares me that i cant break it. Its weird i'm scared and shaky and even thinking of excuses already and yet i want this so much...

    I read and see the inspriational threads on here and i'm so ready to go for it, i am going to lose this and then someone says something negative... and my mind says well if so many people are against it then surely there is something to it... i know that its my stupid addiction trying to sabotage me though. I know that this is the safest, healthiest, quickest way i can lose real weight and without it another year will go by and not much will have changed and i'll be no closer to my goal... meaning i'll feel worse and continue in this viscous cycle :(

    I CAN DO THIS AND I WILL DO IT

    I have the biggest motivation to do it... I want a family... i'm desperate for DH and I to have a baby of our own... Problem is i we cant have Children naturally due to DH cancer treatment, meaning we need ICSI but a cycle of ICSI costs roughly £5000 and we cant afford multiple goes at that cost, and so its only by sharing my eggs that we can do it at all, but we cant egg share until my BMI is 30 or below and as it stands its currently 42.1

    I can do this though... I have the will and the want and the support. This fear can be beaten i just need to work it all out and i'm hoping here is the place to do it...

    My start weight is 261lbs
    BMI 42.1
    Measurements - To be added
    Bust:
    Hips:
    Waist:
    Arms:
    Thighs:

    Goals

    1. Lose 3st by end of July
    2. Get into a size 18
    3. Lose 5st by the end of Sept
    4. Get into a size 14
    5. Be at final goal weight by end of Feb 08
    6. Have a BMI of 30 by end of October
    7. Have a healthy BMI 11st by end of January 08
    8. Get into a size 10/12

    Finally and most important to be able to start treatment by April 08 :D

    Here is to a skinier, healthier, happier and more confident me!!

    To spur me on after week 2 i am going to buy my size 18 outfit from my goals as i am a 22/24 now that will be an achievement and a huge incentive... to not be stuck shopping in Evans or New Look inspire would be amazing :D Poor DH though as he knows how much i love shopping :D

    I so cant wait.... I'm on my way ...

    Bekie
     
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  3. kazz

    kazz Gold Member

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    Hey Chix....best of luck with your journey.....you have the bestest motivation and I bet you do it!
     
  4. AmandaJayne

    AmandaJayne Trainee Maintainer

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    Bekie,

    I just want to let you know that your goals are achievable. I achieved virtually the same ones myself with LL, which is similar to CD.

    My BMI was just less than 41 and I was size 24 (back in the middle of August). Now my BMI is less than 24 and I am a size 12 (got a couple of size 10s too). I am well pleased, I can tell you!

    I look forward to hearing how you get on, on Minis.

    AmandaJayne
     
  5. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    Thanks for your replies :) Its so nice to hear that someone who had similar goals reached them :) I just hope i can do it too :D

    I have to say... want to get started now really :( Have all my stuff ready to go antibiotics gone now and feeling pretty good!! But have my weigh in next friday and told my CDC that friday was the day!! I should probably go an nibble on all the things i wont be having for a while :rolleyes:

    Lol :D

    Impatient me?


     
  6. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    Ok so i didnt start today because i wasn't meant to and i decided to have a *last supper* type thing as Ann suggested... I had my breakfast at Morrisons and OMG it was swimming in grease it was disgusting, it made me feel so sick... I had planned what i was going to eat today so i wouldnt feel deprived when i started but thats all of out of the window i feel awful i barely ate any of it was so horrid :mad: DH ate all his but then was very nearly sick when we did the shopping (non food) :mad: So not good, i'll probably just eat the bare minimum now today and not such a bad thing really :)

    Rawr @ Morrisons you ruined my last breakfast in what could be 10 months :eek:

    *mutters to self*
     
  7. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    Bekie, good luck for your start, im sure you will be fine. If you need any help, advice or just a chat you know where we are.
     
  8. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    Well i've had the last supper :eek: I wont be eating a full meal now until i'm at a healthy weight and it certainly wont be the rubbish i've just scoffed :rolleyes:

    Tomorrow is the 1st day of my journey, my successful journey, i'm apprehensive and scared and i know its normal when i quit smoking i was terrified of doing it, so much so i put it off again and again... but i did it i quit and i'm fine... Nothing bad happened in fact i prefer being a non smoker.

    If i can quit smoking i can do this... thats for sure.

    I've put three 2litre bottles of water in the fridge ready for tomorrow and my packs are on the side, all i need now are my pictures printing out and putting on the fridge :)D)

    I'm ready?? I'm ready... I AM ready!!


     
  9. juju_doll

    juju_doll juju_doll

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    Start Weight:
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    Lost(%):
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    Diet:
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    Congratulations! You're ready to start and you sound so motivated! I started back in October at 18 stone 12, i'm now 13 Stone 4 and I never would have believed i'd be able to come this far. This diet is fantastic, the first week is the worse, but once you've got through that than it gets easier every week. And the weight losses are so big and so quick. You'll probably have a stone off in the next 2 weeks at least. Good luck on your journey, i'm sure it will change your life!
    Ju x
     
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  10. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    Thank you so much for your reply Ju! I'm 18st 12 so we have very similar start weights :D Oh to be 13st 4:D You have done so well you must be over the moon i know i would be :D :D As we seem to have had similar weights to lose its so nice to know its not impossible and the timescale you've done it in is amazing and everything i wanted to see :) Its really inspirational so thank you so much
     
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  11. juju_doll

    juju_doll juju_doll

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    You're welcome! Believe me, if I can do this diet, anyone can! I'm the worse dieter in the world, I should have a discount for the amount of times i've joined weightwatchers! But this is the first diet ever that has really worked. I've had a few blips, but every time i've dusted myself off and got back on it. 13 stone 4 seemed like a dream when I started, i'd only just about managed to hit the 15s when I did atkins and I was soon back up again. I haven't been this weight since i was about 14 and the prospect of seeing the 12s is just too scary to believe! Just pm me if you want to chat and use this site to help you over the next few days, it is a life saver for the first week. I'm around over the weekend so keep in touch and let me know how you're doing ... oh and try making a pack in to a muffin ... they are much nicer than the shakes!
     
  12. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    OMG its Day 1 Finally

    :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

    OMG its day 1 finally :D :D :D :D

    Not had quite the positive start i wanted as i had the worst night sleep ever... I suffer really bad with heartburn and last night i had it for hours from 3am so i am shattered this morning but cant sleep because our bed is so blinking uncomfy i have a bad back now :(

    I have started on the water though... not had a pack yet, want to drink at least 1ltr before i do that but i have only been up an hour...

    I so cant wait for first weigh in .... 7 Days to go

    I know this week will be tough (but it wont beat me :D) soon i know i'll feel better and have more energy but .... will exercise help or hinder? My version of exercise is 15 minutes normal pace walking on the treadmill slight incline and then 25 minutes on the bike..... If it wont help though i'll cancel my gym membership.... because i dont use it anyway lol :D


    Have lots of stuff to do today to keep me busy, tidying up as DH is out of the house today, have loads of weightloss prgrams on sky+ and to top it off i am so shattered because of last night i reckon a nap wont be out of the question if i get really bad






     
    Last edited: 20 April 2007
  13. moomin-mama

    moomin-mama Live for today!

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    Just read your diary and wanted to wish you good luck - not that you'll need it! Once the weight starts coming off thats all the motivation you'll need:D

    One wonderful 'side effect' of this diet is that it stops your heartburn!! Whether that's cos you're losing weight or cos you're not eating cr*p I don't know. Don't care really - think of the positives to get you through the first week. For me no heartburn and after a rocky start where I had to work out that splitting my shakes so I had 6 small drinks throughout the day suited me better - no migraines:D :D

    Keep posting xx
     
  14. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    :D Moomin Mama that is music to my ears i've suffered from heartburn for 7 years and its agony :D All of my favourite foods gave it to me so i lived with it but hurrah no more heartburn :D:D :D :D

    I'm having my first shake now banana (omg how nice :D ) and i'm having it whole but thinking of splitting my shakes this afternoon and this evening... I'll see how i get on :D

    *Its coming off!! Its coming off!! Its coming!! The weight is coming off!!*
     
  15. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    Ok so there is less raring to go now... more just hungry and cold and tired. I know these days are going to be the worst so thank god for Minimins :D

    I'm so cold, its untrue it looks lovely out (I know i still haven't been out!!!) and yet i am in the house curled up on the sofa with my hoody jumper on, slipper socks, fire and central heating on... annoying thing is that i'm not even in ketosis yet :(
    Dreading the cold from that but looking forward to being less hungry

    Think i should really have pack 2 soon, i just know how hungry i get at night and wanted to save one for having whilst DH has his tea and then one later tonight when i start to get peckish.... perhaps i could split a pack in 2 and try it that way maybe...

    Cant wait til i'm allowed the mix a mousse and the water flavourings so i can have jelly as i think the feeling of eating will help with the hunger pangs.

    On the plus side i'll be having an early night after last nights terrible sleep and so day 1 will be over quickly and then on to day 2 and getting closer to ketosis and to getting past the first couple of weeks :D
     
  16. Shirley7766

    Shirley7766 Member

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    I'm on CD day 1 too!

    Hi Bekie

    I've also started CD today. Saw my counsellor last night and she's really lovely, gave me lots of encouragement.

    Tried the strawberry shake this morning and threw half of it away, it hadn't mixed very well and was really thick. The chicken and mushroom soup that I had a lunchtime was really quite nice though:)

    Have managed to drink 3 ltrs of water :tear_drop: so far today and only 2 cups of decaff tea, no headaches or feeling hungry but then again it is only day one - maybe tomorrow I'll be biting biscuits out of the kids hands;)

    Anyway I'll try to catch up with you now and again so we can swap "horror" stories erm I mean good times!!

    Good luck with reaching your goal.
     
  17. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    Definitely keep in touch Shirley :D I'm doing ok with the hunger drink enough water and it goes away... :D

    Ok i need to moan DH has just made hotdogs for snack for him and the smell is so strong (and nice :eek:) and its really bloody tempting so i shut the kitchen door to try and shut the smell out the living room, explaining to DH that the smell was just too good, and he managed to make me feel guilty because it was clear he felt guilty :eek:

    Its a miracle i havent eaten my weight in bread :mad:

    Aside from that i had the *demon fart* this afternoon, omg how embarrassing and just thank god i was home :eek: :cry: Had a mad rush to CDC to get some of the psyllium (sp) husks... Help bind everything together but it was so embarrassing as i wasnt expecting it at all :(

    The husks are vile i had them in my shake and my god it was disgusting i hope i dont hae to take those all the time :eek:
     
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  19. juju_doll

    juju_doll juju_doll

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    Well done for getting through the first day ... you've done one day now which means you can get through another ... it will be totally worth it next week when you've lost nearly a stone.
    Sorry to hear your other half is busy munching. It can be very frustrating. I live with a housemate who is 7stone 10 and eats all day long, mainly pizza and biscuits. I generally want to kill her at least once a day! Just stay strong and remember why you're doing this. Here's to day 2!
     
  20. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    Thanks Ju xxx I think i'd want to kill her too its bloody unfair eating that and being thin :eek: Lol. Day 2 seems to be that bit easier and i'm not as hungry as i was yesterday. Still noticing all the food references on tv and stuff though lol.

    Next week feels like ages away even though i know its not. I'm just eager to get to weigh in knowing i'll have lost weight! Ever the impatient one me :D

    I actually realised something the other day whch i think is significant... Whenever i ate it was completely mindless.. i'd watch tv or sit on the computer and not once pay attention to the food i was stuffing in my face :rolleyes: I think its definitely got a lot to do with my weight now... When i'm in management i think a rule is going to be that food is always eaten at the kitchen table with no distractions at least then i can concentrate on what i am eating.
     
  21. Bekie

    Bekie Full Member

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    Ok so Day 2

    Not doing too bad had my 1st shake (chocolate and omg how nice :D ) drank a fair bit of water but not enough only 2 litres down but we have been out car hunting all day and hubby didn't want me needing the loo every five minutes :D :p :D

    This is where the extra motivation came from.. We have a lovely little car a red citroen saxo and we brought it so that as soon as i pass my test (nearly there :D) i can drive it... Ok so hubby takes me out in the car before his op and guess what i barely fit in it :eek: I'm not a tall person 5'6 so i have to sit very very close to the steering wheel ( i have small arms and legs lol) and it means i bang my knees all the time and the keys dig in :( So i cant drive it anyway.... So anyway we started looking for a new car for us both but we couldn't find one we could agree on!! Today Dh was so lovely he's come up with a solution to suit us both :D He is going to get the car he wants a lovely Renault megane hardtop which he's currently looking at buying and then he said i can hve one of the newish nissan Micras ( i love them :D ) and i wont be too fat for it because when i get it (sept time) i'll be all skinny because of doing CD :D

    Now i have to do this or no car and more importantly no family :(

    So i will do this.. Day 2 nearly over and the weekends are harder so then it will be week 1 over with by Friday and i reckon once i'm past week 2 i'll find it a little easier :D
     
  22. SHAZA

    SHAZA Silver Member

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    Oh Bekie,

    Just read your post and you are doing so so well. All you say is true ~ its much harder at the weekend and holiday time. But I too am going to do it this time and one year out of my life to get slim ~ I am up for that ~ how about you

    Do you go to the lovely Ann as I live in Derby and I visit Ann ~ she is amazing and knows what it is like to NEED to loose alot of weight ~ you will do amazing

    I am really excited for you for your first weigh in dont forget to post your loss you will be thrilled

    Try making jelly with the phyllis husks stuff its delicous
    200ml water flavoured with the berry cambridge stuff, 2 or 3 teaspoons of husks and 1 spoon mix a mousse. Its really scrummy and you can eat it when hubby is scoffing he he. and more to the point it keeps your bottom in order !!

    Keep up the great work, it gets easier and next week you will be full of energy and raring to go
     
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