BeviSiwel's teenage tantrums

[BeviSiwel]

Alright,So..
I'm on week 5 of the lipotrim diet.

I started this diet at 16st8lbs after losing a little bit through cutting down portion sizes and then plateaued once again.

I've been a member on MM now since the beginning of February.

I'm eighteen years old.

I now weigh just about 15 stone.


I'm on this road now because I've had enough of the sly comments in college and the horrible remarks from people I serve at my Saturday job. Thinking that after I have taken their money I immediately go deaf.
There was one comment in college that made me motivated to begin losing weight, when I was at my biggest at 17st 2lbs a boy in year 10 (who was skinnier than a witches broom and as scrawny as her cat) said.
"F*** me, look at her! She's huge!" His female friend took her scrying eye at me and shook her head, being a curved size 14 she turned to him and said "She's not that big"
The boy then began to back pedal, but still giving it the biggun "She'd probably crush me anyway"
I was glad to escape into my biology class at that point.

So here I am now, week 5 and I keep hitting brick walls. My first week I was 100% and had a fantastic loss, but since then things have got even harder, and I've not had a 100% week since as I keep nibbling on things. Apart from week 4 where I cheated terribly.
This week I'm determined to try to recapture my 100% week.
But those meatballs in the cupboard do look mighty tasty right now...

I'm off from college today as last night there was some trouble between me and a boy. (Teenagers, eh?)
Fact of the matter is I ended up blocking and deleting him as he said some pretty mean stuff to me.
Dick.

 

[BeviSiwel]

I could not imagine a worse week, and its only just began!
So yesterday, it was a monday. As if that wasn't bad enough it was like some horrible bad luck charm had caught itself on my clothes and followed me all day.
First of all I got into college late and then managed to mess up my biology practical because of a dodgy syringe that wouldn't let me express the fluid correctly, so that messed up.
And then I had a chemistry mock exam about 5 minutes after that which turned to poop because I couldn't find my eraser! I'm not the best at Chemistry and I was annoyed to have a test on that particular day. I don't think I graded in it.
Then I had Philosophy and Ethics, and the teacher is obsessed with wordles. Every single lesson, it's another F***ing wordle. Well make a wordle out of this!: If I ever get another f***ing wordle from you, you neurotic, insensible prick then I shall roll it up and stick it up your bum where your head already very neatly resides you stuck up twat.

Then after that I had an hour free (thank goodness) But it didn't stop there, the next time I had a lesson it was chemistry again and there was ANOTHER test! Then it was the end of the day, and I was told to wait until 4pm for a lift because my mum had to take my sister to the hospital. So I waited, then at 4 I get a call that I have to walk home in the rain.
Which wouldn't have been too bad except I live three miles away from my college, had no money for a bus or a train and I forgot my coat this morning! I already didn't have time to eat so I didn't have time for anything else either!

So I managed to get home in one piece, just about and decided to make up my breakfast shake with the new blender mum bought the other day.
I fancied a hot chocolate sachet drink. So I put warm water from the kettle into the blender, and one of my surplas sachets and put the lid on, holding it down and turned it on.

Well... the lid flew off and the liquid went everywhere, scolding my red raw arms and going all over the kitchen. So after wiping it up and tending to my burns that felt much worse than they were I tried again with another sachet, but the same thing happened. I cleaned up the mess again and had some chicken instead. I tried to be good but it obviously wasn't happening today.
Lipotrim already makes me irritable but if I really feel stressed out then I lapse to food again. It's psychological, eating is the thing I do to cope with stressful situations.
Anyway, I thought today will be a new day. I can just restart.

Not so, the blender isn't even turning on today. F*** it. I came into school without a breakfast shake again today and I'm hungry and irritable as hell.
God help my Philosophy and Ethics teacher if he puts another f***ing wordle infront of me.

 

[BeviSiwel]

Good news! There was no wordle! I came home and the blender was fixed. Had my breakfast shake and my nanny was here to visit. Gave her a hug and I'm feeling much, much better now.

Aren't little gran's the best?
xxx

 

[BeviSiwel]

This week isn't going well at all. Today my sister went to have emergency surgery on her broken nose. (Her best friend's boyfriend punched her twice and broke it three weeks ago) and today they need to try to reset it because the bone was growing so it blocked one of her nasal passages and really made her nose look freaky on the outside.
So they left at about 7am this morning and I had to help my nan get the baby ready for the day because he was crying and upset that mum had left. He was so sad that he kept holding his arms up to me and wanting to cuddle and wouldn't even let me go to the toilet in peace without him in the room. He's only two years old, so begrudgingly I had to get ready around him as I had to walk to college today.
Well he wouldn't let me go for a wee, so I had to make him sit down and face the door while I went, and then noticed that my long forgotten period had started today and I had bled all through my Pjs and it was all down my back and down my legs. (I don't always bleed every month, but when I do, its a big one)
So I had to have a shower, but I couldn't just leave the boy there sniveling the whole time either. So I got into the shower and washed off the blood first. The plan was after I'd finished showering, I'd give the baby a wash too to help my nan out. (washing him can be a big chore when he's not in the mood for it) but he already decided he was going to get into the shower with me anyway. Taking off his nappy and just opening the door and climbing in. I had to relent and just washed his hair for him too.
Because I wasn't planning on him getting in with me just then I didn't have a towel ready for him. So I let myself drip dry and just dried him up with my big towel.
Then I dressed him and got ready for college myself and at 7.50am all I needed to do was make myself a breakfast shake and then I was ready to leave. But the boy wasn't ready for me to leave and kept clinging onto me as if I was a life line. He wouldn't let me put him down and he didn't want to cuddle nanny. I managed to make my shake and drink it at 8.10am at last and give the baby something to eat, I was almost out the door when he came running up again to give me a cuddle. I finally managed to leave the house at 8.15am. I had intended to get the bus, which was supposed to come at 8.18am so I hurried to the bus stop, but by time I got there it was already 8.20. Checking the bus times I saw that the next one comes at 8.48, which would already make me late for college just waiting.
I waited for 5 minutes, just in case the 8.18 one was late, but after that I wouldn't wait any longer and started walking. No more than 2 minutes away from the bus stop the bus roars past me.
I screamed the F word at it several times. FML.

And you know what? None of this would have happened if that little prick didn't break my sisters nose. (And her crime to provoke it? She threw water on him as a joke, not even a full cups worth)

 

[BeviSiwel]

My bad luck streak is continuing this week.
Just got my results back from my January exams in college and needless to say I'm disapointed. Actually, I'm devastated.
For the first time in my life I'm starting to question if what I'm really doing is for me. Should I have just cut and run after my GCSEs? I had to repeat the first year because I failed and the second year everything went better. But now everything is in the crapper again.

To me, science is the answer to everything and it always would have been, but now it seems that I can't keep up with it, despite all my best efforts, going to all the revision classes, reading all the books and getting all the work from the college sharepoint. I don't play my games or log on here unless all my work is done.

The only subject I've been consistently good in has been philosophy and ethics. It's not failed me yet.
This week has been the worst of my academic career. So far.

 

[BeviSiwel]

YES!

After putting on 4lbs last week, I was demotivated, and then this week I had 6 consecutive 100% days with a little nibble of chicken yesterday and I lost 7lbs!

So I've made up for my putting on last week and I feel fantastic!