Beware what happens during the night!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Mich, 24 September 2006 Social URL.

  1. Mich

    Mich Taking Back Control...!!!

    I posted this a long time ago on DH but have only just found it on my comp.... thought I'd share it with you all.....enjoy!!

    This is well worth the read because to be forewarned is to be forearmed.

    This is a heads-up to those friends who haven’t experienced it yet and an explanation to those friends and family who have.

    Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well read on.

    While the kidney storey was an urban legend, this one is not. It’s happening every day.

    My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else’s thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?

    Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

    Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again! My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

    It was two years ago that I realised my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arm swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary.

    My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish!

    Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. No, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning.

    In despair, I gave up my t-shirts. What could they do to me next?

    My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Christmas turkey it now resembled.

    That’s why I decided to tell my story. I can’t take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the World, wake up and smell the coffee.

    That really isn’t plastic that those surgeons are using. You know where they are getting those replacement parts, don’t you?

    The next time you suspect someone has had a face ‘lifted’ look again, was it lifted from you?

    I think I finally found my thighs…….. and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

    This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night.

    Warn your friends!

    PS – I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in the waistband of my knickers!
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  3. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    This really tickled me!! :D

    Fiunny thing is, I'm obviously a fellow victim - the cruel swines must have commited these crimes en mass!

    It's even more obvious that this is what has happened now that I'm losing weight ... because as my weight drops, it's as clear as the nose on your face that this body was never mine - the skin is miles too big!

    Judging by the wrinkles (which are increasing in number daily) this was obviously the skin of a woman who was from a race of giants.

    Is it too much to ask for my own wrapper back? I feel like a single duvet in a double duvet cover!!
  4. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

    Oh how I laughed!!! This is so funny but so true!!!!!!!!

    My problem is, no one stole my backside, it has fallen forward into my tummy!

    I am actually looking forward to the day my belly is stolen, as long as they swap it for a single duvet that is.

    Russian, I also come from the same family of giants, judging by my loose bits, we may have been giants in a previous life maybe???

    This thread has made my day x
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