Big day tomorrow and ALL i wanna do is EAT :(

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by X_Tasha_X, 12 March 2010 Social URL.

  1. X_Tasha_X

    X_Tasha_X Silver Member

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    Hiya everyone :p

    Well i am off to Liverpool 2morrow for my dads birthday party he will be 59 (haha old fart :p) I am sooo nervous because the people who are going i have either not met or have not seen in about 10 years. Its only my dad and his wife i am going to know. His wife and i did not get on for alot of years she was horrible to me when i was 16 and i have a feeling she still does not like me and sometimes it can be really awkward. :sigh:

    My dad is not my real dad, he brought me and my brother up from babies tho and is the only dad we know. I was a RIGHT daddys girl when i was little and when him and my mother split (i was about 12) i found it really hard, but me and my dad still kept intouch and he'd come up to see us every weekend untill he met his wife and didnt bother coming up for months at a time, which i guess hit me kinda hard and was the start of my weight problem. Me and my dad didnt talk for years but this last year we have slowly worked things out and became close again.

    He had a wife before he met my mother and had two children with her but never seen them. I just found out a few months ago he is back in contact with his real daughter. She is also going to be at this party tomorrow night which makes me really nervous and all i want to do is eat for comfort :( I know its wrong but i feel kind of jealous that this woman is his real daughter and i am not :cry:

    Omg i have blabbed on haha. Thakns for listening i think i just needed to get that out because i have no one who is understanding how i feel about this all even Andreas and my Friends dont under stand and are not to bothered.

    Thanks for listening to my rant lol xxx
     
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  3. Surfhunny

    Surfhunny Laugh in the face of food

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    Aw hun it's fine to be a bit jealous. I would feel the same. It's going to be a tough weekend but you'll get through it. I'm sure it's probably been a bit shock for everyone, but you're as much your Dad's daughter as she is regardless of genetics. If you're feeling a bit overwhelmed tmw, step back and take a few deep breaths and remember you can do it!! You know where I am if you need me xx
     
  4. DizzyFlowers

    DizzyFlowers Full Member

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    You'l prob find that his other daughter feels exactly the same, nervous too! you'l prob get on really well! from ur point of view this is his 'real' daughter and your jelous but from her point of view your the daughter he brought up, and as you said didnt have any contact with her while she was growing up. I think you'l be just fine :)
    Just have a good time and enjoy the time with your dad xx

    p.s. dont comfort eat, you'l regret it!
     
  5. fed-up-and-fat

    fed-up-and-fat hoping for a good loss

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    He IS your daddy, so of course you are going to feel jealous of his biological daughter. Hun, you are his real daughter, just because he wasn't involved in your conception doesn't make you any less his daughter.

    I can totally understand why you are having these feelings of jealousy, is perfectly normal and shows how much your dad means to you.

    Please try and steer clear of the comfort food chick, you are stronger than that, but if you go off plan it is no big deal. Is only a day chick and you are a strong and determined woman and will be back on track by Sunday

    hugs lovely lady. Charlie xx
     
  6. X_Tasha_X

    X_Tasha_X Silver Member

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    Ok well the weekend was a bit if a flop to be honest :( My dads wife took no time in telling me how well she gets on with my dads daughter and then told me how SLIM and pretty she was.... it kinda made me upset before the party had even started but i just smiled and carried on like nothing had happed because i am that kind of person :(Me and Andreas got stuck in this room with my dads wife's mother and family and my dad didnt bother coming in, i went looking for him at 11:30 and he spent 20mins in the same room as me and Andreas and then went to sit in the room we had just spend all night in. ~sigh~ His wife told me how much her mother and father loved Andreas but she never said they liked me but i didnt think she would because my dads wife dont like me. My dad introduced his daughter to me from across a crowed room and then him his wife and daughter went and sat in another room to chat and i never seen her much after that, i felt shy and really uncomfortable didnt know what to do..... so i drank alot of wine, smile and nodded as me and andreas tried to fit into some convos haha!! (but we spent most the night standing in silence)

    When the food arrived i just ate ate and ATE :( and i have not stopped since saturday :( i have ate so much, i went to stick to it 100% again today but when i got home tonight i just ended up eating.

    I know i am better than this but i dont know whats happened to me :( ~sigh~ I dunno i feel so upset and depressed food is my comfort and safety blanket and i dunno how to get away from comfort eating coz its all i wanna do right now.

    So yeah wasnt the best weekend wish i never went
    xxx
     
  7. stokegal

    stokegal Silver Member

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    Ooh Tasha - my heart breaks for you reading that, I'm sorry it didn't go too well.

    Just remember you are stronger and you don't need to turn to food for comfort - you have the love of your amazing boyfriend and we're always here for you xxx
     
  8. X_Tasha_X

    X_Tasha_X Silver Member

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    I've just ate a huge bag of crisps after typing that.... i dunno why i just did :( xxx
     
  9. stokegal

    stokegal Silver Member

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    Step away from the crisps Tasha

    You are better than that - you are an amazing, pretty, kind, caring and inspiring person who deserves to be treated a lot better than you were. I know it's hard but that's what we're here for - come on cry, vent, scream at the laptop if necessary but just remember - you have come so far and is it really orth throwing it all away? xx
     
  10. X_Tasha_X

    X_Tasha_X Silver Member

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    Thanks sweetie your post has cheered me up <3

    Thing is i know its not worth it and i know i am much better than all this but instead of crying and getting upset or showing any real emotion i just eat eeek!! Its my normal way of dealing with things and i dunno how to stop myself... because i know its wrong even before i do it.

    Its like i have no will power its all just gone, it must have jumped out the car window when i drove the 200 miles to see my dad and i've lost it (maybe i need to put up some ''Lost'' or''Wanted'' posters on some sign posts haha)

    I am going to try REALLY hard to get back on track tomorra i really hope i can because i did SOOOO well all day at work today untill i got home :( and i ate like i had never seen food before ~sigh~ I am so weak!!!
     
  11. Debbiemac

    Debbiemac Cambridge Consultant

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    What Stokegal said....

    You've come so far, so near to Goal #1, you are not going to throw that away.

    You have a plan, ok so the weekend didnt quite go how we hoped but its just two days. Dont make it a week... and DONT make me bring my big boots this week hehe :slap:

    Are the crisps making you happier? No? didnt think so. Leave them alone honey.

    This is what its all about - finding new ways to deal with the crap that life throws at us. And girl, you're brilliant at it!

    Dust yourself down, go do some more revision if you have to lol, better still, go cuddle your man!

    I'll be seeing ya later :p
     
  12. X_Tasha_X

    X_Tasha_X Silver Member

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    Thanks debbie your so right... you all are thank you so much.

    Ok i better go get into bed before i want to put anything else into my mouth and eat it :( start at 7 2morra.

    Not looking forward to you weighting me in Debbie on wednesday... GOD knows how much i have put on, it must be 10lb if not more, maybe you could bring some magic scales that makes me weight 9stone plz :D hehe!

    xxxx
     
  13. stokegal

    stokegal Silver Member

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    How about turning those upset feelings from turning towards food, which is only going to make you feel worse, into something constructive - when I get upset - I get angry and lost into a world of organisation - I organise the dvds (alphabetically and chronologically) the bathroom (big bottles of shampoo at the back) etc... eventually when I get over - I look at how clean and organised things look and feel that I haven't wasted anything... now I'm not saying get all ocd'ed up like yours truely but throw yourself into something that's completely yours, not diet related, not family related, not anything other than "I'm in a mood and I'm doing this now" related

    Hope this makes sense and doesn't just make me come accross as having anger issues lol

    BTW - If it makes you feel any better I had crisps at the weekend too *I'm so weak*
     
  14. Hoping2LoseBig!!

    Hoping2LoseBig!! Silver Member

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    If it makes your feel even better i ate curry AND crisps last nght! NAUGHTY!

    I just wanted to say firstly really sorry that u had a poo time and it has made u feel this way and secondly your posts have inspired me to keep going because u have done so well and in such a short amount of time! So dont give up, as im sure im not the only one you have inspired! So you been doing something right!! xx
     
  15. X_Tasha_X

    X_Tasha_X Silver Member

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    Aw thanks everyone. <3

    You made me giggle with the ocd because i like that idea :) haha!! I am back on the diet 100% now as i REALLY need to lose weight for the wedding in Aug i need to be a size 18.

    Thanks for your lovely kind words you have all made me smile. Carolineg (we have been txting and keeping eat other motivated) txt me and she said something that made me rethink how i was looking at the situation

    ''Failture is not falling down, its staying down''

    Weird that something as simple as those words can hit home, i really dont want to fail on this diet and stay down, so i am picking myself back up and starting ANOTHER fresh haha.

    As for being so upset about my father and his wife, well they dont know what they are missing with not enjoying mine and my bf's company that evening. Its his and his wifes loss and i am happy in myself knowing i did everything i could in the situation. So i am letting it go and moving on from the weekend. lessons have been learnt and i wont let myself feel upset like that again.

    Thank you EVERYONE for your lovely support.

    Your all wonderfull wonderfull people xxxxx
     
  16. stokegal

    stokegal Silver Member

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    Yay - Tasha's back!!!
     
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