Big Decision Time. Also, query re. making friends.

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by The Maid, 3 June 2009 Social URL.

  1. The Maid

    The Maid Full Member

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    Had a long hard think this morning about whether to continue to go to SW group or not. I got my 2 stone award today and my sticker is on my chart on my kitchen cupboard with the rest. I've decided that I will stop going to the group now as I am so motivated with my terrific family support (the kids are motivated by the rewards every time I lose another half a stone!). The kids have been exercising more (esp. on the new dance mat) and are happy to eat more healthily. My hubbie is doing the same. As I mentioned in another thread I am getting very little out of going to group meetings so, for me, doing it at home with my family will work. I think I probably only have to lose another 6 lbs so I wouldn't even get another sticker by staying at group. I would also like to say that all the "well dones" I received after my announcement on this site that I had got my 2 stone sticker meant alot:).

    I'd like to ask those who are going to a SW group if they have made any friends whom they see outside of the meetings? I was very disappointed that I couldn't connect in that way with anyone in either group I attended. I thought that strange as I am a very friendly person and was even asked by the consultant if I had thought of becoming a consultant. (In case you're wondering I do have friends but would have appreciated a SW friend for mutual support). Perhaps it is the area I live in or that people have enough friends anyway? :snoopyhouse:
     
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  3. lucysmommy

    lucysmommy Gold Member

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    before i switched to WW i did SW and i didnt particuarly like my class as no one spoke much to me, i ended up going it alone and found it much better and im now 20lbs lighter, i actually felt stressed about going to my class, thats not a good thing

    i have to say my WW class is much better and i feel right at home

    x
     
  4. The Maid

    The Maid Full Member

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    Thanks for that, I'm glad it's not just me. In the last few weeks I started to get stressed and I thought "Why am I putting myself through this and paying to do it too?".
     
  5. The Maid

    The Maid Full Member

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    BTW two and a half years ago I went to a WW class and NO ONE in the class spoke to me and the consultant didn't even give me a pep talk to help me get started. Needless to say I never returned and only lasted a week and a half on the WW diet. Even the telephone helpline couldn't help me with my query re. Dandelion Coffee. It goes to show that well trained friendly consultants and a friendly group make all the difference.
     
  6. squiddie

    squiddie Starting Again!

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    Firstly if you are motivated and not getting a lot out of the group then I say save your pennies!! But if you start to slip go straight back (that's my plan)because you don't want to undo your good work.

    Secondly in my experience there were loads of girls at group I could see myself going down the pub with but never did really (except the one time we had our meeting in a members pub). Why not go one last time and get some numbers from people and stay in touch via text to start with? It's great you have your hubby and your kids, and everyone here of course, but if I had a friend in "real life" who also did SW I think I'd like that :)

    Best of luck hun

    Natt xxx
     
  7. lucysmommy

    lucysmommy Gold Member

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    i totally agree, do what works for you and you know how the plan works so you can do it yourself

    x
     
  8. The Maid

    The Maid Full Member

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    Thanks for the advice but I've made the decision now and, anyway, I don't think there is anyone I could ask for their phone no. Most people seem to come with a friend with whom they are doing the plan or someone who is already at target or, in one case in one group, their whole family! Maybe that is what made me feel worse about the whole friend thing. Lately, the numbers staying for image therapy has sharply reduced too so there are less people to talk to.

    Hope you get some quality sleep tonight, Natt.
     
  9. squiddie

    squiddie Starting Again!

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    I am just thinking about considoring thinking about going to bed as it happens!! I don't blame you for leaving if it makes you feel worse, buy a good set a scales (some with a fat level might be good - see if your muscles are growing! got mine from Argos for £12.99) and do it home in a loving and supportive environment and like I say if you feel like you're slipping go to a different group maybe?

    Good luck hunni xxxx
     
  10. princessria

    princessria is a pirate arrrgggghhhh

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    i found it quite difficult to gel at my group and i used to be a rep so i'm not exactly quiet but given time i love it there now there are always new faces though,i need to go because i need the push of someone else weighing me.
     
  11. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    I went to group alone after moving into a brand new town and didn't know a soul. After 2 years I know so many people in so many different places, it has opened up a whole new social world for me and I found it so helpful living in a small place where everyone knew everyone!
    This didn't happen overnight, it took a period of time and now I am seen as a "mini consultant" in my group as everyone comes to me for advice!!

    I don't socialise with people outside the group though, I have enough on my plate with my family and don't do the social thing outside of my family group but I do attend other village groups with members and it's great the once a year when the whole class goes out for our Christmas meal.
    If someone new joins, we always make a point of talking to them the next week and making them feel welcome, it's hard enough joining a class when you don't know anyone - although like I said before, everyone does seem to know everyone around here!!
     
  12. Rachella

    Rachella Silver Member

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    I would like to make friends with people in my group but... never have really and I do love to chat!!! Over the last few weeks I've been sitting next to the same lady each week and happily chatting to her despite her being about 25 years older than me, we get along great! I also find it difficult to chat to those who come with their friends or their other halves... now when someone is new and on their own I try and chat to them because I know how it feels...
     
  13. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    i am so sorry that your group isnt particularly friendly. I also go by myself and at first i didnt really engage but now i do and i find everyone quite friendly.
    it's a pity that as you have only 6lbs left that you dont finish it at SW and then you wouldnt have to pay again, but as you have great support at home good luck with your healthy eating.
    xx
     
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  14. debbywebby1970

    debbywebby1970 Silver Member

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    This is my second attempt at SW. Im going it alone at home. Just me myself and I. lol.
    The first time I actually went to a group. And it was awful. The consultant was worse than useless. All we did was go in and get weighed, then sit and look through some magazines, then clap at people who had lost weight that week, then went home. I remember her looking at my food diary once, because I was losing and gaining the same one pound for over a month, and she looked at it, and announced to the group that "SHE hasnt been losing that pound because LOOK at THIS she has a wholemeal roll for her lunch.." and I said "But Im allowed that as a HEB" and she said "Nope, thats the problem".... I just thought yeah ok whatever.... this is pointless... she has no clue whatsoever...
    The people at the group were so unfriendly and sat in their little groups and didnt mingle with anyone else. If someone lost weight that week, the leader would say things like "what have you been eating this week, what have you done this week that helped you with this great loss, share with the group" and the answer was always the same from every single person "nothing".... they did not share anything, they werent friendly at all. If she asked anyone if they tried a new recipe, they all said "nooooooo" every time. It was so frustrating because Im always reading in the magazine about these great groups and everyone is so friendly, and I thought OMG not in this group. lol
    And another thing that used to bug me was that every week, she had asked a member of the group to do the weighing. Now, I live in a really small town, and it came to a head one night when I went into the group and my NEXT door neighbour was doing the weighing.... I just thought NO way. If I had let her weigh me, my weight would have been announced around this town in 5 minutes flat... lol. I may as well have taken an Ad in the local newspaper.
    I just wanted to go and be weighed by my leader every week, no one else. But she was always too busy with new starts. If I emailed her it took her about 5 days to reply. If I wanted to speak to her, she was always too busy with new starts.
    It was just an absolute nightmare.
    I feel happier doing this at home. If I need to join a group again, Im going to have to drive 20 miles to the next nearest one.
    OMG so sorry for the big long rant everyone. I know this experiece is a one off, and everyone else wont experience this (I hope) but it has really put me off going...
     
  15. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    Hi Debby,
    I do the weighing at my group and under no circumstances can we discuss peoples weight. We have a confidentiality thing to sign.

    The consultant needs her "social club" members, they can't run the class without them. The consultant needs to be there for new members to do the introductory talk and be available for class members if there are no new members.

    As the "weighing lady" I couldn't actually tell you what peoples weights are, I take no notice, I write it down and move on to the next person. If I did disclose anyones weight, I would be asked (told!) to leave!!

    Your group did sound like a bad one though and the consultant doesn't seem so good, but they are not all like that!!
     
  16. debbywebby1970

    debbywebby1970 Silver Member

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    I know that Jaylou, thats why if Im finding I cant do this alone, I will go to another group, but it will be a different one. lol
    I just didnt like the idea of my next door neighbour weighing me thats all. I know that the leader cannot do everything, but that was just pushing it a bit for me.
    SW pride themselves in saying that your weight will never be disclosed and they have the boards up that you have to stand behind so that no one can read your weight etc etc etc etc.... but in the course of a few months, every single person would have had a go at weighing.... so you may as well stand up and announce your weight to the group, because it wont stay a secret for long..
    It would be different if I weighed 11 stones and wanted to lose weight but no way was that going to happen. Can you imagine.???? :eek:
     
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  17. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    I completely understand, she shouldn't have a different person each week - in my group there is one person who weighs (me), one who takes the money and the consultant. They never change. If i'm on holiday then no-one else does it except the consultant.
    I bet you they hadn't all signed the confidentiality clause thing!!

    I wish you such luck going it along Debby, I sure couldn't do it, I still go now after being at target for this long cos I know what would happen if I didn't go!!
     
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  19. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    I have to say that my leader is great. She does lots of motivational things. And the people where we go always share, and are very supportive.
     
  20. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    A good group and consultant makes such a HUGE difference! We are due a new consultant soon and I do hope she's a good un!! :D
     
  21. Donnie46

    Donnie46 Slow but sure....

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    I have to say that I have not attended a group meeting for over 5 years - the last one was awful, everyone seemed like a little family and were laughing & joking etc, but, no one spoke to me and I waited in a queue to be weighed for ages, and there was no word of encouragement from the leader and no one asked how my WI had got on, they just sat in their own little cliques and I was ignored, there wasn't any other newbies that night except for me.

    I felt totally demorolised by the whole experience and they were talking together so much that my 'pep' talk at the end of class was going to get later and later, so eventually feeling very embarrassed and alone I left the room and I never went back - and vowed I'd never attend a slimming club meeting again - and I haven't.

    I am totally focused to losing weight with SW and this forum and you wonderful people on here are as good as any club meeting to me.

    Maid, congratulations you have done really well and have only a short way to go now, if you feel that you have the confidence and the help from family and this forum then by all means give it a go...we are all behind you here and will help you through - but, if you find you are beginning to slip then I think that would be the time to attend your classes again.

    Either way good luck to you, and well done, you are an inspiration to a new memeber like me.
     
  22. debbywebby1970

    debbywebby1970 Silver Member

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    Donnie -
    did you go to the same meeting as me.?????
    That is exactly what happened to me too....
    I agree with what you say about this forum, I am getting more help,friendship,advice and support from this than I ever got there....
    "I love you guys....."(puts on a very bad American accent) LOL
    :grouphugg:
     
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