Biggest loser restart/challenge exactly a year since joining

[nce1]

I've decided to start my diary because i have began to forget why i started this journey. I have faffaing about this past week lying and kidding myself that i am still focused and motivated yet bingeing :sigh:

Its my 33rd birthday on Tuesday and i started the year off vowing that this would be my last birthday i will be obese and yet i have been sabotaging my progress, which has been good so far, and i can't even begin to understand why!

I have been recieving lots of comments about my weight loss and even my best friend has begrudingly given me a compliment( i haven't even told her about my VLCD yet as i can't take the negativity yet)
So i know now is definately not the time to be be throwing the towel in.

 

[Mich]

Hi Mandie!

Looking forward to seeing less of you at the BHam meet in 5 weeks time.......

Keep at it..... it'll be so worth it....... only half a stone and your halfway to target..... imagine how your gonna feel in the summer wearing all them lovely slinky clothes.....

Have a great birthday.....

 

[nce1]

Thanks Mich
Yes i am so looking forward to Bham meet and yes i will be near goal so there will be less of me!

 

[nce1]

I'm up late tonight, i will be a cranky @ss come the school run in the morning. Had a good day today foodpacks wise and i cant wait to get back into ketosis
Today i went to see my local CDC as i'm thinking of switching because i not sure the LL sessions are worth the money i feel as though i have been given my foundation book and left to get on with it. Well i don't feel thats my money well spent
Anywayss i really liked the CDC and CD have tetras which i think are marveloous for when i cant be bothered to stop at the motorway service station to make my shakes. No time for that i like to cram my client visits in so i can get home early to my bubz (DS).So i've decided to switch but i need to get another medical form signed and my doctor made me feel like a silly girl when i said i wanted to start LL if she tries to belittle me again i shall have to remind her about the infrequency of my visits to the surgery since starting VLCD

 

[nce1]

happy birthday to me

33 today i always feel a bit sad on my birthday as i lost both my mom and dad within 3 months of each other in 2005 i miss them both so much.
I was really pleased that my bubbz bought me a CD i wanted although he asked me not to keep rewinding the tracks i love!

MY OH gave me flowers, teddy and money. He told me to get myself some new clothes as my clothes are hanging off me, bless. Then the cheeky sod told me not to give away my baggy clothes (just in case) he is lovely but at times he can put his foot right in it and squelch it about.

Well my school run was eventful this morning as i turned into the road, of my sons school, a Land Rover Discovery decided to pull out and crashed into my car. So glad my son was ok as it hit my passenger side. The other driver never had any defence but he still tried to blame me cheeky feck and he was rude for not aplogising to my son. I was quite shocked my OH said that i was very calm about the damage as he has smashed my door and the back 1/4 panel. The body repairers have said that they cant book my car in untill the 6th of march which is way too long.
Done anothr day of SS and i may have my last weigh in with LL as i have an appointment to get my CD medical done.

 

[sonkie]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, shame about the accident though......glad you and your son are ok.

 

[Mich]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDIE​

Sorry your day has had it's ups and down's - I had my car smashed in a car park last week whilst at a kids party Went back into reception to see if they had a film in their CCTV camera as someone had hit my car - man who'd done it had only left all his details so getting it fixed this weekend and not costing me either..... thank god

So sorry to hear about your parents.... it must be difficult especially on special days like today.... I can't even begin to imagine your pain as I'm fortunate to have both my parents still..... ((((big hugs)))) and Im sure they are watching over you hun......

Good news about the CDC - the flavours on CD are much nicer - I originally did LL and only ate the veg and choc packs and the nut bar (yeah I know weirdo....!!)

Anyway, I've done an official restart thread having decided to get my arse into gear and get myself sorted before the summer so am nearing the end of Day 2....... starving.....!!! but an expert on the Arcade games.....LOL

I am planning to get at least a stone off by the BHam meet.....

Enjoy your evening.....

Love

 

[nce1]

Thanks Sonkie for your post my son is fine he just wanted to get to class before the bell went (doesn't take after me in that way as i'm late for everything).

Mich that was lucky you had a honest person who left their details and its brill that your in the zone

 

[nce1]

Had my weigh in last night and lost 3lbs which im looking at objectively that
1 i have been junping on and of SS
2 that its the TOTM for me
3 that i'm not even in ketosis yet
I really enjoyed seeing my group again since i missed last weeks session and i could see the difference in all of them. This week we talked about strokes/compliments. I really find it hard to accept compliments and will always have a flippant remark about myself after recieving a compliment. But this week i have to give( which i think i do ) and recieve and accept compliments. Still thinking of moving on from LL though.
Last night i had a brilliant night with my sisters and friends as it was my birthday yesterday and i had resisted pressure to go out over the weekend and have a mad session. But i did organise a Ann Summers party.
There were 18 of us altogether and the party rep had a hard time controlling the group but it was fab to catch up with everyone. The outfits were tiny even a 18/20 looked like a size 12 (why). My friend did abit of modelling on the lingerie and most of the outfits where nice but very pricey
Anywayss i bought an outfit for me and I and i suppose my OH 14/16 so i will no doubt have to lose a few more pounds before i can wear it but i'm looking at it as a mini goal . i presume i will recieve a verbal and definately physical stroke when i wear it!!!
Everyone had a good giggle when we got to the toys!! this secton took a lot longer to get through( can't think why)The party finished about 10.30 but everyone stayed untill about 12.30. i really enjoyed without trying any of the finger food and drink i had provided.

 

[Mich]

Hi Mandie!

Well done on the 3lbs loss.... that's great.... youll soon be at target.... when do you switch to CD?

Glad you had a good birthday - I went to my first Ann Summers party in years a few months ago..... I laughed till I cried it was sooooo much fun..... but like you say soooooo expensive to.... but big well done on resisting the food and drink too.....

Hope your OH will like the outfit......

Speak soon.

Love

 

[nce1]

Mich i'm going to the doctor to get my med form signed tomorow(hopefully) so i should start CD on Tuesday. My Ann Summers oufit was out of stock and not back in till may ,well i shall b at goal then so im gonna go into the bull ring and see what they have there.

 

[nce1]

I went to the docs to get my med form signed, i mentioned my severe head and backaches and she said i had whiplash. She mentioned i seemed low, which i am i thought that once i started losing weight i would be happier

Ive booked tue-fri off next week which should help as it will give me time to get to the gym as it will help.Had another good day of SS and hope i reach my next 1/2 stone goal. I can't wait to move into the overweight category!!

My DS is going to Nottingham for the weekend( my ex moved there to get away from my bunny boiler antics some years ago or maybe because he had got through all the single fems in brum ) He picks Coree up every other week and has not mentioned my weight loss. Yes it does bother me enough to mentiom it !! i suppose it's because he made me feel so inferior(note to self) and obviously Mandi he's still succeeding ....Its in the past now I love my OH he is my soul mate. I miss him when he works in the weeknds and dont sleep prpperly untill he's beside me.

I've volunteered to help my sister out with her new business venture and i hope i can resist her delicious cooking.Shes on CD so we should be able to keep each other on the strait path

 

[nce1]

still standing after 2 car crashes in a week and managing to SS

Last week turned in to a bluddy nightmare when someone crashed into to me on my birthday then i had a lapse in concentration friday evening and smashed into someone at traffic lights :sigh:
Besides suffering from whiplash my emotions and nerves have been stretched to breaking point i've been sinking on my @rse. This morning i was blubbing over the phone as i tried to get my insurance company and body repair shop to take my wrecked car off my driveway.
Gave my self a kick up the @rse this afternoon and picked myself up off the floor. SS wise i have worked myself up that much that i have been unable to keep my packs down .
friday night i was that stressed that i wanted to eat all of the contents of my fridge, if hadnt been for my sister stopping with me i would have, but i never binge in front of anyone !! i'm a secret binger .

 

[Mich]

:hug99: :hug99: :hug99: :hug99: :hug99:

for you Mandie.... what an utterly cr*p week you had... poor you and poor car.... but at least no one was seriously hurt - although I know you got the whiplash..... hope that's eased a bit....

Well done on resisting emptying the fridge..... you'd have only felt a whole lot worse..... hope that your nerves have calmed a little and your managing to hold the packs down now......

Take care of yourself - the car can be sorted

Love

 

[nce1]

Thanks for the huggs Mich
I'm turning the corner now! i only pity myself for a bit then i have to get back to 'normal'

 

[nce1]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

its been ages since i posted. Struggling at the mo ive changed to CD and her scales have been broken or missing batt for past 2 weeks.
on my own scales i went down by 7lb and gone back up to my sticker weight . Serves myself reet!! and i cleared all my size 18s out and gave them away after that just so my mindset knows theres no going back without having to shop for them.
but i havent given my food packs the heave ho these past 2 weeks but they are just boring and everytime i think about having a pack i just resent them... I know its slowing or should i say stopping my progress but my in my crooked thinking ive told myself that once i start to put it back on i will take stock and sort my self out.

I went to the St Patrick days parade and then onto several pubs had a great time and i drove on purpose and drank water and had my pack when i got home. Yet today i had a binge when i got home even after bypassing the chippy and several newsagents but couldn't stop myself.
I'm not sure i have the motivation to do this anymore but im still trying so i still have hope............:help2:

 

[nce1]

I've had a really good day today thanks to last night . My OH said i was crazy when i found myself in the kitchen at 11.15 making a whole heap of noise i took the meat tenderiser out and smashed my secret stash of carbs to
smithereens. :whoopass: and threw them in the bin

you know what it felt good i hate feeling out of control and thats what i've been these last weeks. So ive had all my packs and 3 lites of water today will keep another by my bed for through the night.
Ive been on here since i put my bubbs to bed resisting temptation and the meat tenderiser .

This past few weeks ive been feeling like there is 3 people in my relationship as the OH ex is really annoying me. My OH is a brillinat Dad and see his 2 sons every other week and every sunday to ensure they have a sunday diner. She keeps laying the guilt saying that he gets to wake up with my son in the morining but other than them moving in how much more does she want . My OH doesnt show any favour to my son
She keeps herself dressed all designer clothes,fake boobs and tummy tuck and the boys come dowm with small old clothes (now when we buy them clothes we keep them at ours). Goes out and leaves them with teeanage babysitters(Calls me and my son names via the boys)
So i've had enough and have told my OH to sort it out as ive had enough of bowing down to her and him taking so much flack of someone who is in there own glass house

 

[nce1]

Back from work now :bliss: work is a real trigger for me and i reaslly need to look for another job but i can fit my work around my bubbs so i just stick it out.
I went in gun blazing this morning to my boss and felt better after my rant. Then i went on a site visit and hid away in the office doing Februarys reports, im so behind with my paperwork at the mo. The 2 directors are real sexist at times especially about their OHs and with me losing weight i think the brain cells are going as well tbh i've alawys been a tad bit dizzy. Oh well i cant have it all

My bubbs told me he loved me when i picked him up fron After skool club which wa lovely as i always tell him and with him being 9 he don't even want me to come into the playground anymore.
going to go for a walk with him in the moafter Simpsons obviously (him not me)
Anyway i had a good day today foodpacks wise.

 

[nce1]

Had a really good day today and yesterday even though i didnt post. i have found it hard to get back on track but i had a good chat with my CDC and explained that i've started to like myself a bit too much and got complacement beacuse lets face it the reason why i've managed to lose so much so far is because i hated myself.
I have been teetering on 14 stone these past weeks and im boring myself now..... i want to get in to a size 14 as my 16s are lose but not enough to squeeze into a smaller size

Well i will be going to the bham meet this weekend and that has made me stick to SS this week as well. im a quiet gal really just keep me away from the wine

 

[nce1]

Been busy past few days another funeral, my sons great grandad. My poor DS who in the last 18 months has lost both my parents and 2 great grandfathers. It does effect him but i gave him as much reassurance as i can about the here and now.
Hopefully there will be a wedding soon as its been 4 funerals and no weddings

Got up earlt this morning as i need to sort out what i'm wearing to the Bham Meet. I have lots of clothes and yet i'm stressin about what i will wear and how ill look. Must take my jeans to get them shortened. I'm shrinking as every pair of jeans i buy lately are too long even if they are regular...

Should of seen my CDC last night but sent me a txt to come today at 2 so i will have to make a mad dash to the city to meet all the girls at the jury's inn at 3.
On my scales i have seen a good loss but i will go by my CDC scales today. Its AAM for me this week which i wasn't going to do but i will have a light meal this evening before i have a drink tonight otherwise it will be game over at 9 o'clock