BiggusBurdus - diary of the dissapearing woman! (I hope)

[biggusburdus]

Don't waste your time on someone who isn't commited to you. I spent the last six years with one of those! You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you 100%, don't settle for anything less. It is better to be on your own than with the wrong person who makes you feel bad about yourself. I only got back with daughter's dad because he appears to have finally grown up and stopped behaving like a manchild...but if I ever feel that it isn't working and trying to fix things doesn't work I'll walk away and be on my own. Life's too short. xx

I agree!
Mine just expects me to fix and do everything and I got sick of him acting like a child.
I will no longer facilitate that behaviour!

Got though the weekend, didn't do too badly, saw the old folks and we had family time.
Got the cold now and I just hate it!
Back on diet today, curry soup, hazelnut shake and a truffa bar, mild curry pack and chocolate shake as I forgot I had had the hazelnut one!
Oh well, try again tomorrow.
I just feel bad about the cold though! Should be studying this week, going to get a plan tomorrow ready for the exam next week..
At least I had no extras!

 

[Cherry-Blossom]

Don't worry. The guy I like does commitment so little he doesn't even do relationships. So known from the off that would never happen.

 

[biggusburdus]

Yeah but they are the worst!! It ends up you settle for ANYTHING. Whatever tiny bit of attention they give you and you put your own life on hold just sitting around waiting to hear from them. As you can tell I've had a lot of dysfunctional relationships!! Sounds like you've got your head screwed on right though...wish I had back then x

Yup!

Not doing that ever!

Got the cold from hell, how did I survive all winter then get the cold in may!
Phoned in sick, and just laying in bed feeling sorry for myself.
I really need to start studying but I feel rotten. Having a hot choc to see if that perks me up any.

Diet going ok, saw OH yesterday and he was trying to say he loved me and adored me and missed me etc etc.
I can't deal with that as he never showed any respect and he didn't trust me when I was there.

I just feel stupid for putting up with 18 years of his sh.. He never thought I'd leave, he told me that if I had said I was leaving him he would have done something about it? Why not do something about it without me having to threaten to leave!

Rant over.

 

[biggusburdus]

Thanks Frona.

I am staying off work today as well, still coughing and spluttering. Going to take meds and see how it goes. Need to get into studying! Got a washing on already so I just have to get my act together.
had extra meat yesterday as I was needing it, I think it was the body insisting that I have it to heal? My excuse anyway, I thought the cough mixture and beechams would throw me out of kilter anyway.
Stood on scales and I am 11.5lbs. Not bad for a sick person!
Got to keep going though, I would love to lose a stone between now and August!

 

[biggusburdus]

I am in bed with a hot choc just now.

Yesterday I went to the steam room and sauna to try loosen up the phlegm, it did help a lot really!
OH and GD turned up for a swim, so that was great.
We then took DD OH and GD for dinner before I crashed in bed again.

Got to get up and study, I looked at the exam papers yesterday and freaked out! I have 4 to work through so I will have one a day.
I can't work out why I am so scared, or why I can't study, do I just want me to fail!
Need to sort my head out sometime with a psychiatrist! That would be fun... Would keep them busy for years!

 

[RebekahR]

You can do it hun, sometimes I end up self sabotaging when it comes to study

I find it I make a plan that is achievable, mini rewards too. . LOL yes I have to bribe myself but it works! !! Ie. If you do two hours you csn watch x for 30 minutes or do nails or get something small (lipstick or bath stuff)

Ha sounds slightly mad but law is dry lol

Feel better soon xxx

 

[biggusburdus]

Between us we could be a psychiatrist's whole retirement plan!

Yes we probably would! I can see them rubbing their hands in glee when they see me coming..

 

[biggusburdus]

You can do it hun, sometimes I end up self sabotaging when it comes to study

I find it I make a plan that is achievable, mini rewards too. . LOL yes I have to bribe myself but it works! !! Ie. If you do two hours you csn watch x for 30 minutes or do nails or get something small (lipstick or bath stuff)

Ha sounds slightly mad but law is dry lol

Feel better soon xxx

Project management is very dry as well. Trying to get diagrams into my head along with key words. Yuk.
Did ok yesterday, 3 days left to try get it together.
I just feel thick and its not sticking yet.

I ended up having some naughty crisps but my excuses were many!
Still got the cold, I think it chased the TOTM away though!
Stood on scales and I can still see the 11.5 so that is good. I want to lose one more stone and see what it looks like?
5lbs to go back to where I was last August! What a waste of time and effort!
If I go for a lb a week loss as My body is fighting weight loss like crazy then I am looking at August before I can have a break!
Once the exam is over I am going to live in the gym!
They have some fab classes that I will join, Pilates, body combat and body pump, all of which I enjoyed last time around. They also put on a meta fit class which killed me the first time I tried it but I so want to be able to do it!
I seem to be full of goals, not quite archiving much but at least I have goals..

Bribery seems like a great way to study, I just need to find non food treats!

 

[biggusburdus]

Diet jiggerd so starting again tomorrow! Studying going a bit better though!

 

[biggusburdus]

You can't always have everything and with your exams pending they have to come first x Tomorrow's another day and all that. And like you say when you have time when studying is over you can hit the gym and sweat the pesky pounds off that you want gone xx

Thanks! I was suffering by styling to stick to diet and not feeding the brain, which in turn was panicking me out about this exam.
I didn't do too badly, it could have been worse!
I will start my day as usual and see how it does, just not stressing about it all at the moment.

 

[slim_and_happy]

Have a good day Hun. Hope you're feeling better today!

 

[biggusburdus]

Have a good day Hun. Hope you're feeling better today!

Thanks, got some of the diagrams cracked! Woohoo!
That was hell, 4 days it took me! God I am soo thick, but I was putting in extra circles where they were not needed! It just confused the whole thing completely and drove me MaD!

Diet gone to hell in a handbag, eating the contents of my cupboards, not that there are loads of bad things its just quantities of stuff I shouldn't b touching.
Could have been worse, at least I didn't get out my Pjs and go to the shop! I decided that if I stayed in them then I had more chance of studying and staying away from a major munch!
Just trying to work out how to do that tomorrow though..

Getting on with the

 

[biggusburdus]

Going to try diet again today, hot choc shake is brewing and I have passed papers to do!

 

[biggusburdus]

Exam day has arrived. Brain feels like sludge, awoke with dawn chorus and now cannot get back to sleep!

Keep on looking at passed papers in vain hope it will all fall into place!
No point in worrying now!
Going to make a cup of tea as quietly as I can! Don't want to wake anyone else!

 

[RebekahR]

Hope it went ok today bb xxx

 

[biggusburdus]

Hope it went ok today bb xxx

Thanks, I hated getting all stressed about exam but it was my first one in years!
81 people all scribbling like mad for 2 hours. I could have had another 2 hours writing of they had let me!
I didn't finish 2 questions off properly so I can only hope!

Now looking at gym classes so I can plan next week what I am going to do with myself!
Diet broken until I get my health back. This cold is not for shifting at all..
I will get back on it after a few days or r&r - rest and recuperation..

 

[Dolly1971]

Poor you can't believe your still poorly hope you did ok in exam. Xxx

 

[Dolly1971]

Thanks! I was suffering by styling to stick to diet and not feeding the brain, which in turn was panicking me out about this exam.
I didn't do too badly, it could have been worse!
I will start my day as usual and see how it does, just not stressing about it all at the moment.

Your height is same as mind can't wait to get back into 11's then 10's still not sure wether to go or 10st or 9st 7lb as target.

 

[biggusburdus]

Your height is same as mind can't wait to get back into 11's then 10's still not sure wether to go or 10st or 9st 7lb as target.

I got to 11 and stalled. Fitted into size 12 and everyone said I looked good, but I do want to get into the 10 or 9 stone bracket as I I would then b in the healthy bmi bracket?
Going to buck up my ideas on the exercise front as well.

 

[Dolly1971]

Size 12 can't wait, well done. Sometimes when body stalls I was told to eat extra few more cals for couple days it tricks body into losing weight again. X