bit a of strange one! how you see yourself?

Discussion in 'Exante' started by kirsty2012, 15 October 2010 Social URL.

  1. kirsty2012

    kirsty2012 is gonna shine in 2009

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    This has been playing on my mind for a bit....so here goes!

    at my biggest at 19st.2 i felt happier than i am now which is really strange!

    and if you would have asked me at that weight if i would have been happy at almost 5 stone lighter i would of said yeah of course.

    and at first i was happy smaller but then i got used to being this weight and now feel bigger than my heaviest!

    I look at other weight people and i think why can't i be happy with myself like they are ( i know maybe they aren't happy ) but they are eating what they want and not going to extremes to lose weight so guess they must be happier than i am??

    I guess my worry is am i ever going to be happy with my body and not feel fat! will i still feel huge at 10.7 stones is a worry.

    I seem to have quite warped ideas of how i look....because my best friend is 20st 7 and 2 inches taller than me so she is over 6 stone heavier than me yet i don't see much difference in us!

    does anyone else feel the same about some of the things ive mentioned?
     
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  3. Petal1951

    Petal1951 Full Member

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    I understand you totally. I've lost over 5 stones and I can't really see the difference although my loose clothes tell me differently. I think it takes a long time for your "head" to catch up with your "body".
     
  4. xconfusedx

    xconfusedx Full Member

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    I know what you mean Kirsty.

    Maybe we are more self aware as we lose weight? Thats how it feels for me anyway :)
     
  5. nofattybride

    nofattybride Member

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    i feel exactly like that, in the last year thru eating 1700 calories a day and exercise i have lost nearly 4 stone but i actually feel fatter than before! ive now set a very strict goal weight of 9st10 i will not be going lower than that cuz knowing me i will just want to keep going lower and lower, its sad but i dont think i will ever totally get over my food or body issues i think sometimes it just goes too deep. im just hoping when i get to my goal weight i will have the intelligence to stop and eat maintenance calories to keep me at it not higher or lower.
     
  6. JoanneM

    JoanneM Gold Member

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    Ive lost just under 5 stone and still see a huge fat person when I look in the mirror. I also look at smaller clothes and think that there is not a chance in hell that Ill ever get into them even though I keep buying them anyway, lol.

    I think its not helped by people not commenting on the weight loss. Other than people who know Im dieting noone had even mentioned it until last week which has made me think Im not getting anywhere even though my clothes and the scales say differently.

    Im just interested to see what Ill think of myself when I do get to goal weight.
     
  7. kau84

    kau84 Full Member

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    i know what you mean,i was just under 18st and now weigh 15st but feel fatter than ever.when i first started on a vlcd was thinking 12st was an ideal weight but now keep lowering my goal weight.
    i just hope i'll know when to stop.
     
  8. kirsty2012

    kirsty2012 is gonna shine in 2009

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    Phew i'm not alone on this...although it sucks that we all feel this way!

    I do that with clothes too...i pick something up and say that will never go anywhere near me.
     
  9. bigmeeky

    bigmeeky Full Member

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    Certainly not alone

    Its peculiar, I got down to a 14st 7lb 5 years ago and looked, well, "normal", normal in the sense that I could go into any shop and buy a 36" waisted trouser. When "normal" I still felt fat, was told I was boring (by my wife) because the larger than life character had resorted to not drinking lots of beer and being a bit sensible. Being slim didnt hold great memories in that sense at all.

    I remember feeling good lying in bed because I felt that my belly button could almost touch my spine (or so it felt the reality was no doubt completely different).

    Im trying to get back to the good feelings I had and I want to retain them, have good memories about going for a run and not feel my tummy bounce up and down, play golf and not have sore knees the day after (I mean its only golf).

    Anyway blokey view, everything will be fine you know.

    Chin up

    Rob
     
  10. TheCookieMonster

    TheCookieMonster Padlocking the cookie jar

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    I think if you have struggled with weight issues for a long time, it is very hard to change your self perception. I struggled with weigh all through most of my teens and when I finally lost a lot of weight and got down to a size 10/12 I still believed I was huge.

    I think that this time as and adult I will have the same struggle with my self image. As you say it just seems to run too deep.:(
     
  11. Quak

    Quak Gold Member

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    As someone who has been overweight all of her life, child and adult - I know exactly what you mean, and now, having lost half my body weight and got down to a "normal" size, I still have days when I feel "fat" even though my brain tells me one thing, my eyes see something entirely different. I hope that as time goes by, those days will get fewer, I know for sure I never want to go back to what I was before and that is my current mission. As you get nearer to goal and you can go into shops and pick up clothes that fit without trying them on (you will get there I promise) things will start to join up. Like I say, there are still days and I look in the mirror and think arggggggg and other days I look and think, ooooo my face is looking a bit thin today. It is getting better, have been on maintenance only about 4 months so still early days for me but this is the crunch time and you need to keep educating yourself as you go along. My best tip is to have your photo taken with someone else you are with regularly and I promise you will see the difference in comparison to earlier photos, especially if they have stayed the same weight (being big or small does not matter) it is how you look beside them - that gave me the clearest picture of how far I had come. I really could not see it any other way. Good luck with the rest of your weightloss xx
     
  12. Toots

    Toots Gold Member

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    When I was bigger, denial worked well for me - I just tried not to think about it.
    Now I do think about it and it stresses me out no end.

    I admire larger ladies who look fab and are happy in their skin - I wish that could be me :eek:

    I think that no matter what the scale / clothing label tells me I will always feel huge but at least my logical mind will tell me otherwise ;)

    xxx
     
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