Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary
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FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Argh! What a day yesterday was! Total stress from moment I woke to moment I went to sleep... went to visit my lovely friend Lucy in hospital. I am so sad to say, she is so dreadfully worse... she has been in for 3 weeks now... admitted with pleurisy and a dvt, now , lungs drained and drain removed, clot has moved to lung, she has gallstones and shadows on her pancreas and liver. She has also, yesterday, discovered a lump under her arm and another in her neck... her weight loss is drastic.. she has gone from a lovely size 14/16 to 8/10 and is on 2 food supplements a day as she continues to vanish before our eyes... she can't talk without being breathless and cannot walk unaided now. It is horrendous. I can see how this is going to end..
Lucy celebrated her 40th birthday last April. She is due to be married in July this year. It is all so utterly awful and my heart breaks to watch her...
Can't say more at the mo as Shrek just came in and he's a nosey sod! lol
Lucy celebrated her 40th birthday last April. She is due to be married in July this year. It is all so utterly awful and my heart breaks to watch her...
Can't say more at the mo as Shrek just came in and he's a nosey sod! lol
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
At last a diagnosis came - Thursday evening - she has cancer, no **** Sherlock! They "don't know" what type, or where the source is... more tests ... will take another 2 weeks! 2 weeks!!! I'll be amazed if she is still around to get their poxy results!!
I just am so so angry at the drs... all the signs were there and they have done sod all to help her in the 3 weeks + that she's been in hospital... before that her GP was a total farce... she's been ill for months and he just fobbed her off! She's dying, in the same way Sarah did... and I feel utterly helpless and so frustrated. I was so frustrated last week that I wrote to the Drs begging them to investigate her bile duct... I am so convinced it's the same cancer... and they are just useless!
She is so lovely, the most selfless person I have ever known. Her fiancee adores her and he is so bereft right now. They sent their wedding invites out with their Christmas cards and instead of gifts asked for donations to Oxfam in the hope of raising enough money for a Classroom. You just couldn't wish to know a lovelier couple.
And now, she's wasting away, in agony, because some idiotic muppets couldn't see the nose on their face!!
Sorry - my heart is breaking and it's just so so so soul-destroying.
Every time I think of her I cry... I want to visit her again today but if I can't hold it together it won't be any good to her. She's been my friend since I moved here 10 years ago. When Tim (my ex)cheated on me she was there for me. She was a real rock. Her and Pete bought and moved into the most wonderful house in December and she took great delight in showing me round it.
They had a lifetime of love to look forward to. That's all been taken away from them now. There is no hope. No looking forward. She is only just 40. It's utterly criminal. I have faith but you know what, I am so fecking angry at God right now. Why doesn't he cure her?
I am sorry for offloading.
I can't sleep and I feel sick all the time, I know its emotions and I know I have to get a grip, but I just can't bear to lose her like this... I am selfishly wanting her to survive and be cured. I know it isn't going to happen, but I still want it.
I just am so so angry at the drs... all the signs were there and they have done sod all to help her in the 3 weeks + that she's been in hospital... before that her GP was a total farce... she's been ill for months and he just fobbed her off! She's dying, in the same way Sarah did... and I feel utterly helpless and so frustrated. I was so frustrated last week that I wrote to the Drs begging them to investigate her bile duct... I am so convinced it's the same cancer... and they are just useless!
She is so lovely, the most selfless person I have ever known. Her fiancee adores her and he is so bereft right now. They sent their wedding invites out with their Christmas cards and instead of gifts asked for donations to Oxfam in the hope of raising enough money for a Classroom. You just couldn't wish to know a lovelier couple.
And now, she's wasting away, in agony, because some idiotic muppets couldn't see the nose on their face!!
Sorry - my heart is breaking and it's just so so so soul-destroying.
Every time I think of her I cry... I want to visit her again today but if I can't hold it together it won't be any good to her. She's been my friend since I moved here 10 years ago. When Tim (my ex)cheated on me she was there for me. She was a real rock. Her and Pete bought and moved into the most wonderful house in December and she took great delight in showing me round it.
They had a lifetime of love to look forward to. That's all been taken away from them now. There is no hope. No looking forward. She is only just 40. It's utterly criminal. I have faith but you know what, I am so fecking angry at God right now. Why doesn't he cure her?
I am sorry for offloading.
I can't sleep and I feel sick all the time, I know its emotions and I know I have to get a grip, but I just can't bear to lose her like this... I am selfishly wanting her to survive and be cured. I know it isn't going to happen, but I still want it.
HopeSprings
Gold Member
Reading your words brings home how precious our loved ones are to us and how painful it is to lose them.... seeing them suffer in this way is unbearable and you are being an incredible friend in supporting her. It makes no sense and my heart goes out to you and her family......:tear_drop: xx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Saw Lucy yesterday - had the privelege of spending a chunk of time alone with her, well, except for Dr and nurse.. but.. had a call today.
Consultant has told them she has 2, maybe 3 days at most.
They are hoping to get married in her room tomorrow and, if strong enough, move her down to the chapel for a blessing.
Cannot say more... too hard. Will update soon.
Consultant has told them she has 2, maybe 3 days at most.
They are hoping to get married in her room tomorrow and, if strong enough, move her down to the chapel for a blessing.
Cannot say more... too hard. Will update soon.
