Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

Well, what a week and weekend it has been... it's weird as I've had today off to "recover" from the rally.. and I need it!

Where did I get up to when I last updated? Umm.... oh yes... my weigh in.. well I was a bit disappointed but then just carried on.. I have to say though I was very very VERY tempted to eat that night and managed to drink gallons of the veggie bouillon stuff instead. For those of a delicate disposition - look away now - my wee smelled like veg stock! lol

So Thursday night I finished packing stuff up for the weekend and doing a final clear up at my lovely daughter's house, remade her bed, made sure all the ironing was put away, no washing up etc... and everything lovely for their return. My intention was to get up early Friday morning, feed the cat, give key to her neighbours and set off to the rally.

As they say... the best laid plans... etc etc etc... I was going to have a shower but the boiler decided to stop working!! So instead I spent the morning trying to contact her landlord for help... he was none at all so I set off without showering! (Not ideal!) and popped home to print out a letter to my neighbour... (have a real problem with them about a fence... probably best not to say much at this stage, but suffice it to say, I can see solicitors getting involved before it's resolved!).

Whilst at home I had to offload the cake decorating things I had with me and some other bits and bobs.. then off to Post Office to send recorded delivery letter to my next door neighbout - ridiculous but, sadly, inevitable.

THEN it was time to go! I arrived at the campsite during a deluge of rain and was promptly ushered into some friends' caravan - lovely and comfy cosy and good to offload about the fence thing before saying hello to all who were assembled up in the marquee in the cold!

I was so utterly relieved when the van owner offered to let me sleep in the "annexe" in their awning which meant I didn't need to put my tent up! Hurrah! Although it meant no real private space other than my sleeping quarters, I was very very glad of it indeed!

I could wax lyrical about so much about the rally - and I may well do when time permits - but I will share this... I DID eat... I gave myself permission to enjoy the Hog Roast they were having and oh boy did I enjoy it! I had a plate full of salad (all greenery, no carbs, no dressings, just raw veg and pickled beetroot) and a very large pile of piggy!! yum yum YUM triple , nay, quadruple YUM! I had seconds too! It was bliss!!! I also had 2 very thin slices of the birthday cake I had made (will attach pics if I can.. ). It was the only food I ate the entire weekend - the rest of the time I had my soup and muffins (they had microwaves run by generators!). I prepared all their salad stuff and also dished out the puddings!!

I was very very tempted to have more food but, I knew if I did then that would be the end of the diet for me and, I have too far to go yet!

I feel very pleased that I had what I did, I can't see that it will have damaged my weightloss and, as I didn't have anything else "wrong" I am hoping for good news on the scales this week!

It would be nice to lose 3lbs.. then it would be another 5lbs to crack through that next stone barrier...

No-one really noticed a difference in me, but that was ok, I did wear lots of layers and I know, so that's really all that matters! Mind you - I did tell them! lol lol

The rally was the best I've been to this year - not a coincidence that I went alone! lol Have already arranged next one (again, alone) and am hoping to do even more!

Right - time to get to bed (well, bed and watch Case Histories) as it's back to work in the morning and I know it's going to be a pretty heavy numeric week!

Hope all have had a great weekend at least as good as mine!
 

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AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Sorry - just am so peeved!!

HWSNBN has been sat on his behind all morning and he knew the grass is getting to jungle length thanks to the recent weather and what does he do about it??? Sweet nothin!! He waits for me to get home from work, dash out there as the forecast for the rest of the week is naff, and waits until I am over halfway through cutting the back lawn to finally make a half-hearted offer to help!! Blergh!! I declined - not altogether graciously I must admit - but steamed into it, got both front and back done, cleared up and bagged up and he reappeared with the weeding tool for the patio in his hand! I don't care about a few weeds! Sometimes I don't need to say a word - today is one of those days... as... within minutes of my putting the mower away and sitting down to tackle the bike club orders - he has loaded his car with garden rubbish and skedaddled to the dump! lol

Boy I must be scary! lol

Things are so tense and he made it infinitely harder for me yesterday to say what I need to, by telling me catagorically that Hattie is a gift!! I told him when I bought her that it was a loan and that was the only way I would even dream of borrowing from him and he agreed - we agreed repayments and everything... and now he is refusing to allow me to refuse his gift!! I DON'T WANT TO BE BEHOLDEN TO HIM!!!!

What kind of a person will I appear to be if I now tell him I want him to move out? (or at least, into the spare room)? *sigh sigh sigh*

I think I will just save up and pay him back anyway - I will find his account info out and do it that way. I really , really, REALLY want Hattie to be mine, not a present from him - nor from anyone else either...

I have a sick feeling that he had guessed what I was going to say to him when I got back from the rally and that he pre-empted me with his announcement! I know I could be very wrong, but I don't think I am... oh how on earth did I get into this mess!!!! Blah!!
 
Jennie, I think you are right too. As soon as I read it I thought "Oh, blackmail, because he thinks by doing that you wont tell him it's over" Bleddy Man!

I really do think that, hard as it is, you do have to have than conversation now rather than later. You are not going to be in a good place unless you do. I know it's hard but put yourself out of your misery bvecause he is not enhancing your life in any way. You work and he sits at home doing nothing and yet jobs need to be done. No way.

Be brave, lovely.

Pam xxx
 
hiya just want to say well done on you rloss so far and I havent had chance to read your full diary but I will get round to it.

Personal life is so difficult sometimes but I'm sure it will all work out in the end. You only get one life so make the best of it x
 
Oh Jennie :hug99:

You really need to have the talk - now. You are NOT to be held accountable for HIS actions. You cannot be made to 'sit on your hands' because of his seemingly magnanamous gesture of 'gifting Hattie'. You had an agreement with him and he chooses to break that agreement. Do as you say - save the money and when you can find the numbers pay it into his account.
Sending you lots of positive :vibes: and prayers that you can find the strength to follow your heart (and methinks your head)
 
another stressful day - after a night filled with dreams of fences and boundary disputes... *sigh
HWSNBN is about as much use as a wet weekend and I am leaving him in charge of making sure that when the fence is done that they put it in the right place! If he lets me down on this one then I will just go totally ballistic. He had better do it! He can't stand up to a child though so am not very optimistic about the fence...
oh crap... he's just come back in here again! Every single time I start to type in here he puts in an appearance!!! BLAH!!!

Weigh-in day tomorrow - I sooooo want to eat the biscuits that are in my freezer... I can tell I am due on soon as I get these almost maniacal cravings! lol

Heaven help anyone who gets in my way over the next week or so!! HWSNBN may well be in the firing line.... (someone hide the knives!) lol
 
Methinks I should pop round an push HWSNBN into said firing line, t'would be very good therapy for you to get it all out!

Hope all goes well at WI tomorrow - does your TOTM affect your loss at all?
 
Congratubluminations there girl!
:bliss:
You are really inspiring:D
 
Sorry for brevity of yesterday's update but did it from ipod in bed... lol I was stunned!! 7lbs! Unbelievable! Perhaps I need a hog roast every week!! lol I told my consultant that I'm going to have a mega meal every 6 weeks if this is what happens! lol

To be honest, I know it's nearly 3 stone, and I do feel different, but all I see in the mirror is how far I still have to go... and as for clothes - I put my jeans on the other day and they are baggy on the waist and still horrid on the thighs... the trouble is I have really "deformed" inner thighs - especially on my right leg. Imagine elephant legs and you'll get the idea... I hate them.

I hate them so much that when I had an accident with scalding water a few years ago I couldnt take my jeans off in front of anyone despite them burning like mad, because I was too embarassed about the way my inner thighs look! It's a major problem for me and I know the weightloss is going to make it worse - so - I am selling stuff on ebay to save up for the surgery I will need to try and make it right. I don't care about scars and pain - I just want to wear trousers without them showing this great big blob of flesh hanging on my leg... *sigh
I want to be able to wear a swimming costume and shorts (long ones are fine) without everyone being able to see the layers of flesh that hang there... sorry to go on, but it really is a very very big deal for me and unless I can find trousers that make them look like normal fat legs and thighs, I am going to have to cover up in huge clothes and then, I guess, skirts - but the flesh rubs and I end up having to wear leggings underneath too... blah ... moan moan moan.... lol

Right - must crack on - 3 more lbs and that's going to be the 3stone off marker - and a third of the way done... I reckon I can shift another 6 by the new year and I shall be happy then...

Thank you for your lovely comments and continued support...

HWSNBN is even showing more interest in my losses now! Not sure what happened to him when he went to stay with his mother - perhaps he realised that living with me is the better option than living with her... and that, really, is his only other option whilst he is still out of work... and perhaps, just perhaps, he's realised that he really isn't cut out to be employed by his mother as her carer or as a carer for his very very elderly great-aunt...

Or maybe the weight-loss is making him fancy me again - in which case - TOUGH T*TTY MATEY!!!

I'm not interested - in fact, I get dressed and undressed in the bathroom now as I don't want him watching me or seeing my body - I sleep in pj's no matter what the weather or temperature (used to sleep nekkid)... *sigh

I know, I know... I HAVE to get it sorted... it's just not that easy...
 
:hug99:
You'll get it sorted when you are ready
What's the plan for the weekend? (Not that I'm nosey you understand - it's just that I get all my exercise vicariously through you:p)

Can you give me an idea for some 'baby cookies'? I finish with my 'Toddler Group' on 15th July and thought it might be nice to take in some home-made cookies but don't really know what to make:eek:
 
:hug99:
You'll get it sorted when you are ready
What's the plan for the weekend? (Not that I'm nosey you understand - it's just that I get all my exercise vicariously through you:p)

Can you give me an idea for some 'baby cookies'? I finish with my 'Toddler Group' on 15th July and thought it might be nice to take in some home-made cookies but don't really know what to make:eek:

Bless you, you are a real poppet... thank you.

As for the weekend - well, having had even more discussions with my neighbour about the issue with our boundary... I think I shall be taking photos and avoiding losing my temper!

Other than that - I think it's time to attempt to tidy up and sort out my study... now, I did this a number of years ago to great success, however, as folks have invaded my space so my space appears to have shrunk, yet junk hasn't! So... bit between the teeth, and I think that will be on the agenda... OR... if the weather is agreeable, I may just do some tidying up in the garden - there's some plants I'd quite like to get to grips with, and the pond is looking very neglected... and I may try and just straighten up one of the offending fence panels as the chap I instructed to do the job a fortnight ago, still hasn't... the problem is I would quite appreciate the help of HWSNBN but I think that would be about as much use as asking one of the fish to clean the pond out!

*sigh

I seem to spend all my time dealing with nasty neighbours at the moment - makes me really sad as I've never ever had any problems with ANY neighbours in my life before... have to say though... if they come and wind me up this weekend, as I am pre-menstrual, they may well get more than they bargain for!!! (I MUST MUST MUST try not to lose it!!)

I am not by nature a violent person, in fact, I would say I am pretty much a pacifist... I do volume not violence... but there is always a first time :mad::mad::mad:

I was hoping to also go out and about on Hattie for a bit, PLUS I am very keen on finding a field of poppies and take some photos... Oh, and... I thought I might - if there are enough hours left... see if I can squeeze my ample behind into any of my other skirts and trousers yet... AND... lol., the list is growing! I will be smashing up old fence panels and either burning them or taking them to the tip!!

So - a busy weekend no matter what the weather!

Oh, I forgot, I also bought a couple of books at work today (secondhand paperbacks) and I quite like the idea of taking myself off somewhere and just sitting and reading for a couple of hours...(in other words - get away from HWSNBN and have some peace as the telly has been on since 6am today - its 8.30pm now) and he's not even really watching it!! He's sat in the living room playing on his laptop... sometimes I wish the telly would blow up!! lol OOOH I'm sooooo bad!!!

Sorry... being a real nasty piece of work recently - stress definitely brings out the biiiaaaatch in me!!:eek:
 
:hug99:

Can you give me an idea for some 'baby cookies'? I finish with my 'Toddler Group' on 15th July and thought it might be nice to take in some home-made cookies but don't really know what to make:eek:


Whoops! Forgot to answer you.... right you have a few options.. but... if you are going to give them to the toddlers stick to a lemon shortbread and maybe ice some smiley faces on them ... they will love them! If it's for the adults my money is on Anzac biscuits... they are lush! (If you like coconut). They're probably ok for little ones too, it's just that they have rolled oats in them and so can "go down the wrong way"... if you know what I mean... that said... lol as a toddler I probably ate biscuits that were hard as rock! lol (My gran was a naff baker!)... the other thing that littles (and biggies) love too are gingerbread men... always a hit.. and, if you don't fancy doing them in gingerbread, do shortbread and still cut them in the same shape... although I do (somewhere) have a fantastic recipe for gingernut type biccies...

Anyway - just a few ideas to get you started.. :D
 
Ooh - lemon shortbread :drool:
Do you have a recipe?
 
Ooh thanks heaps!!!!:drool:
 
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