Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Is it me, or is Luther particularly disturbing? I'm really quite upset watching it and beginning to wish I hadn't put it on , but now I need to know the good guys win!!!

 

[Karen1972]

Ah Jen.... well done on getting rid of offending muffins!! You are doing so so well and I am so so jealous!!

I do feel sorry for HWSNBN as i think Jim treats me the way you treat him and I can tell ya - it ain't nice! Obv nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors but he must love you to give you all that dosh for your bike!!

Re Luther, I'm not enjoying this series as much as the first one but re the violence etc I think that' kind of nonsense can be viewed anywhere from tv and films to puter games so I don't think it is that shocking these days.....

Stay strong on your diet.... your weight loss rate is tremendous and with time flying by the way it is you will be at goal in no time. Please don't mess about like I am, it's v depressing!!

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Ah Jen.... well done on getting rid of offending muffins!! You are doing so so well and I am so so jealous!!

Ta - it's hard though..

I do feel sorry for HWSNBN as i think Jim treats me the way you treat him and I can tell ya - it ain't nice! Obv nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors but he must love you to give you all that dosh for your bike!!

I feel sorry for him too, but I don't treat him horribly etc... I have tried so many times to broach the subject of our failing relationship and he just refuses to discuss - what can I do? You can only hit your head against a brick wall for so long before you give up and just bandage your wounds and put up your own wall...

I don't yell or scream or shout abuse at him, I don't ignore him or tell him to get out, sorry - I don't think I treat him in any way the same as Jim treats you... trust me, it's not nice for me being stuck in this horrible rut... with someone who is incapable of an adult conversation, who spits his dummy out and strops off... someone who thinks they can buy their way into my affections...

No - we will have to agree to disagree entirely on your take on this...

I don't equate money with love at all - I don't think that giving someone money is any indication whatsoever of love - all it is is money - it doesn't mean a thing. Sorry - I really feel it is more a case of emotional blackmail and desperate action to hang on to something that doesn't exist....

Re Luther, I'm not enjoying this series as much as the first one but re the violence etc I think that' kind of nonsense can be viewed anywhere from tv and films to puter games so I don't think it is that shocking these days.....

I think for too long that folks have underestimated the impact of TV, films, games etc... I found Luther very shocking last night, and at one point was in tears... perhaps it's just 'coz of TOTM, lol, hormones wreaking havoc - but I did think it was frightening... possibly because it could so easily happen... and there are enough violent twisted sick individuals out there who really don't need any more new ideas instilling into them... *sigh* think I'm getting soft in my old age... lol

Stay strong on your diet.... your weight loss rate is tremendous and with time flying by the way it is you will be at goal in no time. Please don't mess about like I am, it's v depressing!!

Bless you - thank you, I really really hit a low point yesterday... think it's all the stress getting to me of not knowing what to do to sort out things with HWSNBN and the neighbours, and money... plus I really wanted to eat the whole sodding muffin... lol but at the same time I didn't!

Glad I went to bed... it was the right thing to do...

HWSNBN got home really late and I left him sleeping... *sigh

Please don't think that just 'coz I offload on here that I would say these things to him... I would never be so cruel... he doesn't deserve that..

 

[madmuppet]

Lol about the muffins well done on getting rid on them i think if they had been in my house yesterday the whole lot would have gone I was having one of them days lol

Good luck today stay strong xx

 

[Gen]

You are doing fantastic Jennie... forget about the muffins they are in the past xxxxxxxx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

thank you (both)... been feeling more positive today... and have to bake some more stuff later so it's just as well! lol

Busy afternoon ahead - going to start up both bikes and then wash them both... and hopefully go out on one of them - not sure which yet..

Have a job application to fill in and my CV to tweak too.

HWSNBN has been uber helpful this morning - he has texted to say he has hung the washing out (I put it in machine before leaving for work), and is collecting some stuff and then promises to weed!!

I had a very odd text from him last night before he came home - it didn't read like it was for me at all and I wonder if he had sent it in error so the old bull$hit alarms were on full alert!

I kind of hope he has got someone else but then I feel sad too because he is only here out of convenience. That said, it will make it loads easier to suggest he move into the "spare" room over the weekend whilst I am away... still trying to find the right moment to suggest it.

I am sure I will sleep better if he does... but I just KNOW the crushed little lost boy face I will have to cope with and the hurt I will bestow... mind you ... maybe not! If he has someone else then he could be relieved! *sigh What a mess.

Trying to focus on the positives - weigh in tomorrow, rally with great friends at weekend, end of TOTM by weekend too so much easier to camp and no more bellypain and sleeplessness.

Right - off home to see what awaits! Hopefully a weed-free front garden and a similar back garden... (or at least getting there)...

At least the dog is always pleased to see me... lol

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

weigh in tomorrow - been busy tonight - baked 95 anzac biscuits and 42 fairy cakes... washed and polished Hattie this afternoon and got my weekly "Sugar" fix courtesy of The Apprentice... just watching the first part of Luther as last night bothered me enough to make me want to see what led up to it... hoping for 3lb loss this week to make that 3stone loss a reality... but as it's TOTM I doubt it will be... sometimes I can weigh up to 7lbs heavier... only temporarily of course, but even so...

No nibbles today... just my 3 packs and buckets of Dr Pepper Zero and Coke Zero - realised that the coke makes me hungry and the Dr P sorts out my sugar cravings... so... more Dr and less Coke! lol

G'night - fingers crossed for those 3lbs tomorrow!

 

[desperate2Bslim]

Three more days before my weigh in day! Cereal for breakfast and boiled meat for lunch. This is my eating style for about 2 days now. Hope I'd be able to sustain it. Yay! When I feel hungry, I take water or fruit berry shake. These two help me go through my day. I hope to nail it on my weigh in day. I'm kinda scared.

 

[madmuppet]

Good luck for your weigh in xx

 

[mindless]

Good luck today

I'm sure you've done the 3 pounds needed for major milestone.

Xxx

 

[HelenG]

Thanks for the recipie
Hope the WI went well

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

weigh in went really well! 4lbs! Stunned (again) but very glad... that's the 3 stone marker broken, and down into the next "stone" marker easily now... so... another 11lbs and that'll be me down into yet another "stone" marker... hopefully that will be within the month...

I have been baking and have to admit to nibbling on broken bits and my finger did run around the empty bowl and mmmm lush! lol No more though - am still focussed on the long term goal... 3 down., about another 6 to go... oh Lord, that sounds loads... but... am a third of the way there now , and have achieved several of my self-set mini-goals...

Think that I will have to start exercising after this weekends rally has been and gone... mind you, it will mean wrenching HWSNBN from the sofa and telly remote... having said that... I was shocked to see that he did the weeding today!

I am beginning to wonder if he has had an epiphany??

Am feeling very loveless at the moment... not that I don't have plenty to give,... just not getting any... (pun absolutely intended!!)... I miss touching and being affectionate.. ho hum... rally this weekend so lots of hugs from mates will just have to do instead! lol

 

[Eclipse]

Excellent result honey, well done you x

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Excellent result honey, well done you x

lubs you lots xxxxx

 

[Eclipse]

You tooooooooooooooo x x x

 

[Redpam]

Well done on passing the 3 stone mark, Jennie. You are such an inspiration. I am sure the 4 stone lost will be well before the end of July.

Pam xxx

 

[HelenG]

Wow you are doing so well Jennie

Hope you get lots and lots of hugs at the weekend - here's one to start :hug99:

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

well, I feel a bit of a fraud taking all your lovely comments because, I have nibbled again tonight!! ARGH!!!! Seriously - what IS wrong with me??? I have baked dozens of cakes and decorated the ones I baked yesterday and when it came to decorating them with chocolate eggs , before I knew it 2 were already gone - dog loves me - I took a handle and threw them on the floor and the rest are in a tub for HWSNBN... he's in a great mood tonight (probably looking forward to a weekend of peace)... but maybe coz he gets to try all my new experimental cakes - and tonight I made rum and raisin muffins, lemon and sultana muffins & orange muffins.... some were a bit of a disaster but HWSNBN loves them so it's ok! No waste! I haven't eaten any of the cakes - I did get close with the rum and raisin but have resisted and now they are all packed into the car so, well out of reach, and, they are priced up for sale for the Air Ambulance so I won't even be remotely tempted now! I did make some cakes I haven't made in years... raspberry & cumin buns... HWSNBN really REALLY liked them - so he's got a dozen for himself.

By far the runaway success has to be the Anzac biccies though - between them, him and the mutt have polished off over a dozen since yesterday evening! lol I worked out today that the biscuits cost 10p each to make, fairy cakes cost 12p each, muffins cost 17p each and the raspberry& cumin buns cost me 10p each to make... so, I reckon on flogging them for a "minimum donation" of 50p for 3 biccies, 25p for a fairy cake or raspberry & cumin bun and 50p for a muffin... I don't expect to sell them all, but if I do, it should raise a good amount as I've got dozens of the flippin things! lol

Ought to go to bed but MUST shower, then sort out my clothes as I want to go to the rally straight from the office tomorrow...

 

[HopeSprings]

I want to come to the rally and buy everything you've made!!!

 

[mindless]

Absolutely superb result !!!!!!!!

Very impressed and delighted for you. Feel rightly chuffed and keep the mini target way forward!

Makes everything seem just within grasp rather than a universe away. Like an athlete like me taking it a mile at a time......... pmsl

Xxx