Thank you ALL...
so very very much (and Mini for suggesting I stick the pics in here)..
I am still on cloud 9 (or should that be cloud 9.6! LOL)... and have to do me diary for yesterday and today!
Well, I guess I'd better pick up on yesterday.. after I left the orifice I went to Asda and did some Christmas food shopping... I bought the smallest turkey I could find.. lol not bad £4!
bargain! and some roast spuds and roast parsnips (frozen so I just whack em in on the day).. I just think that, as I'm not going to be eating them I want to make it as easy as possible for meself! lol So... got those and shoved them into the freezer... also got loads of veg, some ready meals (Sarah is coming home and is like a plague of locusts bless her, so I got the healthy options meals!)... also got her some fresh pasta for one.. got um, turkey breast steaks which I'll be weighing out and freezing for me for AAM week.. (23rd-29th Dec)... and I did get them 2 apple strudels and one chocolate fudge cheesecake thing.. that is it! If they eat them before Christmas then that's their look out
, I'm not buying anything else sweet .. lol. I know myself too well!
When I got home I was shocked to find my freezer is still full of food
so I had to do loads of rejigging and take out the ice cube trays! lol Only JUST got it all in there now so when it comes to freezing my turkey portions later I am gonna struggle!
I also bought even more christmas presents (grrr... I already have them for everyone!).. I couldn't resist! Gorgeous green t-shirt for Sarah... pj's for Zoe... necklace & earrings set for Anne (nurse)... books for friend's children.... game of battleships for my great-nephew... etc etc etc... special card for the girls too.. also cleaning stuff and cat food. (How interesting is that eh - lol - you even get to know my shopping lists!).. lol the thing is... I looked at and didn't buy... choccies, biccies, cakes, profiteroles, quiches, cocktail sausages, cream, christmas pud, mince pies, custard, nuts, crisps, crackers, pate, butter, cheese... the list could go on! A "normal" Christmas shop.. well, you're looking at easily £200 if not more - I know! MADNESS!! But that's how it always was! Whilst I may have gone a bit OTT with presents this year (MUST go through the prezzie wardrobe later!).. I still haven't spent anywhere near what I would usually!
No booze either! (I reckon if they want it , they both have their own money, they can get it themselves! lol)
So, home, shopping away and it was almost time to go and be weighed! Shot over to Ailsa's - I couldn't bear to look at the scales.. so I got on them and shut my eyes... she didn't say a word. (oh, AND I wore my jeans again this week!)... so I peeked and saw the scales... let an expletive slip and got off and back on the scales again to double check.. and sure enough! 9.6lbs off!!!!
Oh, whilst at Ailsa's she told me that I desperately need to get a new bra! She is SO right.. so... she recommended that I go to Louise's Boutique in Rushden High Street... so I said I would do so today (Wednesday) after work..
Well... my very dear friend Cah-Ching has been extremely candid about her weight... so... taking her lead now...*BIG DEEP BREATH*.........
My weight on July 20th 1996 (my wedding day) was 19stone 11lbs...
Yesterday... December 12th 2006, 2 years precisely since that t*at I married did me the HUGEIST FAVOUR EVER & left me to be with someone else....... I weighed in at... (drum roll)... .. 19stone 7.3lbs !!!
So... now you know... I am still
massively obese, but, getting there...but apart from that... for the very first time in over a decade I weigh less than 20 stone! I am still in shock really..! Truly!
I can't believe I've told you how much I weigh either! But I am just
SO pleased! I mean... not pleased that I still weigh so much... but so pleased that I don't still weigh so much more!!!
Anyway... sorry... just buzzing still... lol.. on the way home I very quickly rang "Eric"... I never call him normally but I was so excited and really wanted to share my excitement , lol so I rang and blurted it out.. lol.. he asked if I'd given birth to a baby in the week! lol We had a very brief but nice chat (he rang me on Monday too!)... and said we would speak later.. lol.. I was grinning and quickly rang my Sarah to tell her.. she was stunned and says she can't wait to see me next week! (remember, she hasn't seen me in the flesh - apart from on webcam- since before I started the diet! ).. lol
I'm
really looking forward to seeing her again.. not because I've lost the weight but because I haven't been able to hug her since September!!
Got home and came on here. "Eric" rang me and we chatted for absolutely ages!! I talked to him about his suggestion the other week and how I felt about that and he explained himself... he hadn't meant what I took him to mean.. he meant that.. if things didn't pan out for us that he hoped that we would have at least had a lovely time together and that we could stay friends and go out occassionally.. not how I took it at all!!! So, we had a long talk about things and he is concerned about the distance but thinks I am lovely and wants to see more of me.. *sigh You know what.. if I am honest with myself.. it isn't enough for me.. I wish it was.. but I can't see him giving me the time and attention I both want and deserve.. and I don't think it is all because of the physical distance between us.. I also think that as the weight continues to come off me I might start nagging him about his health..
I know myself!!!
I am already frustrated that he doesn't think it important for his children's sake too. Perhaps when I see him again I will know what to do....
After his call I stopped on here awhile and then took myself off up to bed....
When I went to bed I tried on the pj's I had bought from M&S the other week with Zoe.. (size 22 in peppermint green with lovely lacy trim).. well.. they fitted! snug,
but on and comfy enough to sleep in so I wore them!
I know they didn't look great but I didn't care..
lol only me and Zoe saw me in them and they felt damn good!
So... a fitful night filled with dreams of my late first hubby... very odd... I've been dreaming loads about him recently..
anyway.. woke up before the alarm, got ready for work and gave Zoe a lift...
Wednesday 13th December
Got to work an hour early and simply logged on here.. lol.. did a bit of work but knew boss was coming in for our "chat".. my dear friend Rachael came in and we had a brief conflab and I showed her my list of grievances about my job.. she thought they were fair enough.. lol I dreaded my boss coming in.. and when he did... it wasn't half as bad as I expected.
We had a lovely talk, uncomfortable at times., but very helpful too. Hopefully things will change in the new year.
I got some work done (not a great deal) and left on time and went to Asda.. bought a cardi for Sarah (another christmas present! what am I like!!!) and some PJ's... some face wipes.. a satin wrap for my sister.. trundled off to Woolworths and got 2 gift cards for my nephews.. as my sis couldn't give me any help... so I opted for woolies coz you can buy dvds, cds, stationary, sweets, electrical stuff etc... from there.. hope they don't mind. Also got a box of after dinner mints for the rest of the staff to share at the lunch on the 20th (I excused myself from that)... also some birthday presents for my friends 2 little children.. and the plug in air freshner I forgot to get for Sarah's room yesterday!
BUT.. before I went there I went to Louise's Boutique.. she has a website...
www.louisesboutique.com (I think)... and the lady in there (called Mandy) was absolutely lovely to me! I explained the problem and that I hadn't been fitted for a bra - ever! She took me to a cubicle, measured me and I was stunned!!! I have worn the same size bra for years.. no matter how big I got! I told her how my boobs seem to hit my knees when they are let loose! lol
She said that she hates the "Doreen" bra I was wearing (I have lots of them!).. as they NEVER fit properly! So, she measured me and came back to me with a gorgeous red bra.. me??? a red bra???? lol I tried one on.. too big!!!!!!!!! So.. she got the next size down and whaddya know...
Well.. now I am the proud owner of a gorgeous red bra,
fits
SO lovely... I feel fantastic! My body shape has changed dramatically!!! I don't think I am brave enough to say what size I am (divulging my weight was tough enough!)..but if I tell you that I have a second bra coming this evening (yes, she lives in my town and has offered to bring the other bra here this evening so she can show Zoe how to "tape" my dress to the bra on New Year's Eve! lol How fantastic a service is that!!! I can't wait to get my girls in there for a fitting!! It will work wonders for Sarah's self-confidence! I handed over the dead bra and she binned it for me.. I promised to clear out my bra drawer when I got home! lol
So.. I have this absolutely beautiful bra on and am amazed.. lol.. and another one (nude colour) tonight.. she (Mandy) is convinced that I should only have the 2 as I am losing weight and she says it would be a waste of money to buy more as they won't fit for too long.. I like her style... she also told me that once I get into the next size down then I shall have LOADS of choices available to me!! The bras were £25 each, but I have to say... worth every single penny!
So, off to Asda (as above) and Zoe met me in the car park for a lift home.. and then home and upstairs to try on the dress!! (You know, the one I bought in a size 24 for New years Eve..)... Well... it ALMOST fits lovely... the top of it, with my new bra on.. fits beautifully.. but it is too belly-hugging for my liking... I showed Zoe and she was too funny - she said.. "I can't believe how much slimmer you look mum"... lol.. bless her.. I still have over 9 stone to lose!!!!! Still... I guess that the weight that's gone is enough to make a fair difference... anyway....she really likes the dress on me and said she would pay attention when Mandy comes later to show us how to tape the dress to me bra... you see, the dress is low cut at the back.. so I don't want the bra on show..
It will need taping at the front too as it it too plunging a neckline.. but I must admit.. it felt good to wear it! I don't have a full-length mirror, Zoe does, but it is propped up on the floor so still not a full picture.. lol.. I put on the shrug and she said to wear that with the dress too.. so.. New year's eve outfit is sorted! (Might have to think of another one for the wedding at the end of January though...) just need to decide whether to wear hair up or down now.. lol.. Zoe says down.. but I dunno.....
Can't believe how comfy this bra is!! lol When I told Zoe my bra size she said "bloody hell mum, you're bigger than Jordan!!"...
as I have no idea what size Jordan is I shall have to take her word for it! Wonder if I can make as much money from 'em... LMAO... JUST KIDDING!!!! the major diff is that the rest of my body is also way bigger than Jordan's too! lolololol
I need to buy some mega-suck-in-the-flabby-belly-knickers! I bought some last weekend but um, they aren't pulling anything in at all.. they are dead comfy, but are granny pants! lol
Called in at the Drs on the way home in the hope of getting my gym referall letter - still no sign.. blah!! I WANT TO START TONING!!!! Oh well... hopefully this week!
Got Zoes prescription for her, got home, went through the post, cooked dinner, had a mug of bouillon and just now a chicken & mush soup... will have a muffin after the bra lady has been... not felt hungry all day. Damn, a great weight loss and a wonderful bra are great motivators!!! lol
Tonight's plan is to DEFINITELY start wrapping the presents! lol I can't even remember what I have and who for anymore! Once I get my parcels wrapped and labelled then I can do some of Zoe's for her.. still haven't started on Sarahs rooms though... should do them really.. lol.. I can see me doing them in the early hours of Monday (I pick her up from Northampton bus station Monday night!) lol...
Need to arrange to meet up with my sis too to do a prezzie "swap" before she heads up to Sunderland to see my neice and her family! If not then I'll have to take neice's up in jan when I go to the Toon meet up!
So... that's basically my diary done now.. no word today from "Eric" but that's to be expected as he has rung me almost every day! lol
Got me chocolate coloured combats on
feeling good.. gonna wear them on Saturday when I meet up with Mich in Coventry and hit the shops!!!
Can't believe we're going to look at clothes.. might get a new top but nothing else... will maybe have to go again before the wedding .. it's 6 weeks away.. but then.. the dress will be lovely and loose by then hopefully so I might feel even better wearing it! We'll see... want to feel good then, look as good as I can, and make Simon feel glad he asked me instead of any of his other female mates.. oh,, damn.. that reminds me... gonna ring the hotel RIGHT NOW!
I have to say.. I have been very very touched by the private messages of encouragement and support this week.. it was a toughie.. and hopefully, if I have another tough week I shall look back on today and yesterday and how good I feel/felt and remember that it is all well worth hanging on in there.. and just gritting my teeth and getting on with it!
If I get to feel this good even once a month, well, that will be fantastic!
(as for all my old bras... loads and loads of em!... they're going to the homeless place in London (whitechapel mission) that Zoe, Sarah, and I are going to on the 23rd.. (I rang them first to see if they actually wanted bras.. lol.. not seen that many homeless women with a size 46DD bust! but hey... you never know!!!) Already gone through my old clothes and put loads of them in the bag to take.. might have another sweep through the drawers and be ruthless too!
Right.. am off for a peruse around the threads.. then the bra lady will be here! yippee! lol
