Blonde Logic's Stream of Consciousness/Diary
- Thread starter Blonde Logic
- Start date
UmmZakaria
Full Member
Have a lovely time and I hope a good battery recharge will give you strength to breeze through your surgery xxx
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Hope you've found the break really helped. I have bouts of depression too and could really identify with the mood of your last few posts. This time of year and Christmas can be so difficult when we're missing loved ones ... Hope the surgery went well and that you're on the mend xx
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
eatlikeabird
Silver Member
Hi BL,
You must be back from USA...hope your surgery is over...get well soon, and hope you are doing well.
Thinking of you.
You must be back from USA...hope your surgery is over...get well soon, and hope you are doing well.
Thinking of you.
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Hi BL,
You must be back from USA...hope your surgery is over...get well soon, and hope you are doing well.
Thinking of you.
Me, too.
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Well, I'm having a little chuckle at my post above. Who was I kidding? TIme to gain perspective, sit quietly, relax....? I forgot - our holidays are NEVER relaxing. As usual, much of the time was spent rushing around to try and see as many friends as possible, etc. It was hectic and at many times stressful and heartbreakingly painful when I said goodbye to my best girl friends.
I was sick most of the trip - I caught a cold on about the 3rd day there. When that finally started to pass, my neck seized up - it was a very bad spell. I was near tears most of the time just because it hurts so bad when this happens - there is no relief whatsoever, and it just takes days to pass. It had been a while. It was not missed. It just proved toi me how stressed I had become as that is a key aggravator.
But - even with all of that, as I always say, "Even your worst day fishing is still better than your best day working." So it was good to be away from work, which has been an absolutely miserable place to be - I hope it feels better when I return.
It was sad and odd to be back home, with no mom to call or go visit.
I am now back, obviously and 2 weeks post surgery. I think the result will be a good one, but recovery is very slow in that its still very painful to be weight bearing on my feet. In a way I do regret doing both feet at the same time. Its been difficult. But every day its a little better - just slower then I had hoped for. I go back to work after New Years, so hopefully there will be better improvement in the coming days. I am still taking pain meds, mainly in the evening, but during the day I just tolerate it.
Between jetlag and surgery my time clock is totally screwed up and is only now becoming somewhat more normal. For the first week and a half after surgery my days started at noon and I went to bed at 3am!! Was kind of fun being the one to turn out the lights on the street, but am glad to be getting back to normal.
I have much head-work ahead of me. This is one thing I am certain of after this trip. There is something troubling me deeply and I need to put my finger on it and sort it out - but I need to work out exactly what it is.
I am back on anti depressants, which makes me sad, but I was falling to a pretty dark place. I think they are beginning to work - I started them a week or so before I left on hols. I have stopped crying every day, so thats a sign they might be doing something, thank god!! lol But I know there is something very unsettled deep inside me that needs dealing with.
I know one thing, I am sick to death of owrrying about my weight. Whether I am up or down - "being good" or "being bad" - I am just sick sick sick of it. I put so much pressure on myself, and I just go up and down. And I just am sick of it. Sorry, but I am.
But I know I need to focus mainly on my head at the moment - or nothing else is going to be successful, so I will just continue to bob up and down I guess while i try to get a grip. lol
So, to relieve myself of some of that pressure, I am going to use this diary now, more or less for a place to just work through some stuff - but I will probably try and be less food focused....I need to start honing other parts of my life as well and hope that at one point, they will all come together again and I will find my way back to that solid resolve I had.
Well, thats enough bother for one night.
THanks for all your wishes when I left and recently.....just hadn't the energy to do much online stuff recently.
I hope you are all well and happy - I will try and get caught up in the coming days.
IN the mean time, in case I do not get back before - I wish all of you a Merry Christmas and wish for a Happy New Year for all.
xxx
slendablenda
Gold Member
Welcome back
Lovely to see you post again hun. Hopefully things will get better in 2012.
I'm sure your lovely hubby and in-laws will take care of you over Christmas.
xxx
Lovely to see you post again hun. Hopefully things will get better in 2012.
I'm sure your lovely hubby and in-laws will take care of you over Christmas.
xxx
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
New Years Resolution
New Years Resolution for 2012
Let go of the past
Embrace the present
Look forward to the future
I realise that I spend much of my life living everywhere but the NOW – the present seems to elude me. Maybe I like the land of denial – I don’t know but I do seem to spend much of my time either living in the past or longing for the future – or dreading the future too – that I miss out on the NOW.
These will probably be more difficult for me then quitting smoking has been (3 months so far!) or then losing my weight was – but I think it is essential to my health (mainly mental, but physical too) and happiness that I do. In fact, I know it is.
So while I do not generally do resolutions – as my last resolution was “Do not make any more New Years resolutions” and that was in 1988 or so – lol – but this is something I need to do – so why not use the freshness of a new year to give it a go. In the film “Forrest Gump” there was a scene on New Years eve with Lt Dan and Forrest and two prostitutes. One sad prostitute said about New Years, that “everybody gets another chance” with a fresh New Year. That always stuck in my head. So, I will chance it.
I don’t really know how to do it – and the prospect of letting go is always scary. But I need to try. It won’t be overnight, but at least if I try and keep it in my conscious thoughts, maybe I will get somewhere with it.
New Years Resolution for 2012
Let go of the past
Embrace the present
Look forward to the future
I realise that I spend much of my life living everywhere but the NOW – the present seems to elude me. Maybe I like the land of denial – I don’t know but I do seem to spend much of my time either living in the past or longing for the future – or dreading the future too – that I miss out on the NOW.
These will probably be more difficult for me then quitting smoking has been (3 months so far!
) or then losing my weight was – but I think it is essential to my health (mainly mental, but physical too) and happiness that I do. In fact, I know it is.So while I do not generally do resolutions – as my last resolution was “Do not make any more New Years resolutions” and that was in 1988 or so – lol – but this is something I need to do – so why not use the freshness of a new year to give it a go. In the film “Forrest Gump” there was a scene on New Years eve with Lt Dan and Forrest and two prostitutes. One sad prostitute said about New Years, that “everybody gets another chance” with a fresh New Year. That always stuck in my head. So, I will chance it.
I don’t really know how to do it – and the prospect of letting go is always scary. But I need to try. It won’t be overnight, but at least if I try and keep it in my conscious thoughts, maybe I will get somewhere with it.
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Hi BL,
I am glad you are back and on the mend. It sounds very much as if you are moving towards a good place and I feel very strongly that 2012 will be a year of healing and personal growth for you. (((((HUGS)))))
And getting both feet done at one time makes this recovery more difficult (I'm sure), but it is probably like carrying and giving birth to twins... in the long run it is more efficient.
My dad said had he done one knee at a time, it is unlikely he would have been "brave" enough to go back and get the other one done. However, he is so grateful that they are replaced. He said, "I had forgotten what it was like to not be in pain."
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I am glad you are back and on the mend. It sounds very much as if you are moving towards a good place and I feel very strongly that 2012 will be a year of healing and personal growth for you. (((((HUGS)))))
And getting both feet done at one time makes this recovery more difficult (I'm sure), but it is probably like carrying and giving birth to twins... in the long run it is more efficient.
My dad said had he done one knee at a time, it is unlikely he would have been "brave" enough to go back and get the other one done. However, he is so grateful that they are replaced. He said, "I had forgotten what it was like to not be in pain."
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Is religion necessary?
Not wanting to strike up a debate about religions per se - I just sometimes - A LOT of times - wonder if my life would be different if I was more religious, or spiritual, or whatever you wish to call it.
I was raised in a non denominational family. We never, ever, went to church. On the odd occassion, I would go with a freinds family, but in my house, we did not go to church, we dod not say grace, we didn't do any of that sort of thing.
Neither of my parents were religious and their belief was not to enforce something they believed in on us as children, but to let us grow up and make up our own minds, and choose religion if we wanted, or not.
As a teenager, I thought that was pretty cool, and felt lucky as I never had to worry about getting up early Sunday morning - I could stay out later partying on Saturday nights, etc., etc.
I dabbled in some youth groups that were run by the local Christian Church when I was in my teens, but it was not a heavily religious thing - just activities run by Christians, etc.
I never gave it much thought. BUt in 1993 when my father died - I suddenly and very painfully realised I had no belief system in place. I had nothing. I had no idea what happened to my father after life - where he went - where his soul went - would we see each other again in and after-life, etc., just had no idea and felt utterly and completely lost.
I still feel somewhat that way and suppose its been highlighted with moms passing.
Whenever my life has gone really wrong, or I found myself feeling seriously lost and depressed - I always wondered if it was because I never go to church - never pray - worship, etc. I wondered if it was "God" trying to tell me something.....that I was having such bad luck and difficulty, that I was "lost" and needed more in my life, etc.
Now, at 51, the same thoughts and doubts and wonders pop up in my head, that have popped up all my life. Do I need church?? What IS church, etc.
But I think at 51 I should - SHOULD - have a belief - but I know nothing. I do not even know how to pray, as stupid as that sounds.
I don;t know...I am just thinking out loud here - I have never said this to anyone before. But I do wonder - is the reason I have spent most of my life with this deep internal sadness and emptiness - is it because it is not filled with some sort of belief and some sort of God - with community. And then I wonder - how do you know what you believe in - how would you know what KIND of church you would even need or want to go.
I am just so tired of having this part of me that is always sad, and always feels alone. And I am looking for answers. To see if there is anything that can be done - or if this is just the life I am going to live.
Oh brother. Don;t ya love the after Christmas blues. I sure don't.
SOrry if I am getting too deep - I just needed to say this "out loud" to someone - because I never had.
I think I will try and have a soak in some hot bubbles. It would be so nice to enjoy a hot bath again.
xx
Not wanting to strike up a debate about religions per se - I just sometimes - A LOT of times - wonder if my life would be different if I was more religious, or spiritual, or whatever you wish to call it.
I was raised in a non denominational family. We never, ever, went to church. On the odd occassion, I would go with a freinds family, but in my house, we did not go to church, we dod not say grace, we didn't do any of that sort of thing.
Neither of my parents were religious and their belief was not to enforce something they believed in on us as children, but to let us grow up and make up our own minds, and choose religion if we wanted, or not.
As a teenager, I thought that was pretty cool, and felt lucky as I never had to worry about getting up early Sunday morning - I could stay out later partying on Saturday nights, etc., etc.
I dabbled in some youth groups that were run by the local Christian Church when I was in my teens, but it was not a heavily religious thing - just activities run by Christians, etc.
I never gave it much thought. BUt in 1993 when my father died - I suddenly and very painfully realised I had no belief system in place. I had nothing. I had no idea what happened to my father after life - where he went - where his soul went - would we see each other again in and after-life, etc., just had no idea and felt utterly and completely lost.
I still feel somewhat that way and suppose its been highlighted with moms passing.
Whenever my life has gone really wrong, or I found myself feeling seriously lost and depressed - I always wondered if it was because I never go to church - never pray - worship, etc. I wondered if it was "God" trying to tell me something.....that I was having such bad luck and difficulty, that I was "lost" and needed more in my life, etc.
Now, at 51, the same thoughts and doubts and wonders pop up in my head, that have popped up all my life. Do I need church?? What IS church, etc.
But I think at 51 I should - SHOULD - have a belief - but I know nothing. I do not even know how to pray, as stupid as that sounds.
I don;t know...I am just thinking out loud here - I have never said this to anyone before. But I do wonder - is the reason I have spent most of my life with this deep internal sadness and emptiness - is it because it is not filled with some sort of belief and some sort of God - with community. And then I wonder - how do you know what you believe in - how would you know what KIND of church you would even need or want to go.
I am just so tired of having this part of me that is always sad, and always feels alone. And I am looking for answers. To see if there is anything that can be done - or if this is just the life I am going to live.
Oh brother. Don;t ya love the after Christmas blues. I sure don't.
SOrry if I am getting too deep - I just needed to say this "out loud" to someone - because I never had.
I think I will try and have a soak in some hot bubbles. It would be so nice to enjoy a hot bath again.
xx
Last edited:
slendablenda
Gold Member
Hiya hun
Christmas & New Year always seem to magnify how we are feeling - happy or sad. It certainly is an emotional time.
Speaking as someone who was brought up in a home with one parent who had a faith from childhood and the other who didn't, I turned away from my religion in my teens and didn't formally think about it or go back to Church until I met M. He has the same religion and didn't exert any influence or pressure on me to go back, but I could see the strength and comfort it gave him and I wanted some of that. Eventually I discussed with a Minister that I wanted to opt back in, but couldn't blindly accept the whole "package". He encouraged me to give it a try and take and give and believe what I felt was right for me.He said that people participate in religion for all sorts of reasons, for some it's belonging to community, or to help others, or because it gave them peace, or something to believe in and hold on to, or because they like the tradition and ceremony, or the music, or the core belief, or the philosophy, or the people, or feeling of being grounded, or out of habit, or due to family expectations, or tradition - in other words - everyone participates or not on their own terms.
For me it does give me a feeling of support, people from my Church have been praying for me this year, but so have people from other Churches and religions. It has given me comfort as has the support from friends and family who don't have formal religion.
In a way it's a bit like doing LL. As we know, just because you get slim doesn't guarantee peace and happiness and neither does having a religion, but for me it certainly helps.It seems to give me a grounding - you could do worse than give it a try.
Hopefully I'll be coming back to V's in the New Year to lose this weight I've put on recently. I've been to see her, depends what the GP and LL medical people say - may have to wait a while.
Love ya hun. Give me a call if you want a chat any time.
xxxx:bighug:
Christmas & New Year always seem to magnify how we are feeling - happy or sad. It certainly is an emotional time.
Speaking as someone who was brought up in a home with one parent who had a faith from childhood and the other who didn't, I turned away from my religion in my teens and didn't formally think about it or go back to Church until I met M. He has the same religion and didn't exert any influence or pressure on me to go back, but I could see the strength and comfort it gave him and I wanted some of that. Eventually I discussed with a Minister that I wanted to opt back in, but couldn't blindly accept the whole "package". He encouraged me to give it a try and take and give and believe what I felt was right for me.He said that people participate in religion for all sorts of reasons, for some it's belonging to community, or to help others, or because it gave them peace, or something to believe in and hold on to, or because they like the tradition and ceremony, or the music, or the core belief, or the philosophy, or the people, or feeling of being grounded, or out of habit, or due to family expectations, or tradition - in other words - everyone participates or not on their own terms.
For me it does give me a feeling of support, people from my Church have been praying for me this year, but so have people from other Churches and religions. It has given me comfort as has the support from friends and family who don't have formal religion.
In a way it's a bit like doing LL. As we know, just because you get slim doesn't guarantee peace and happiness and neither does having a religion, but for me it certainly helps.It seems to give me a grounding - you could do worse than give it a try.
Hopefully I'll be coming back to V's in the New Year to lose this weight I've put on recently. I've been to see her, depends what the GP and LL medical people say - may have to wait a while.
Love ya hun. Give me a call if you want a chat any time.
xxxx:bighug:
eatlikeabird
Silver Member
Well said SB. I was raised with a religion but my family weren't strictly church going or overboard, we didn't say grace or pray every night. I don't believe word for word with everything in this religion but I do have a faith in god. I do find an inner peace in church but don't go every week. And I think god's church is everywhere, and that I don't have to be in a church to pray. Prayer doesn't have to be formal, its a communication of your deepest thoughts with whatever higher power you choose.
All in all I'm happy that I was raised in a religion as it gave a framework for a belief system. But when it comes down to it, I also just believe in The Golden Rule. do unto others as you would have others do unto you...
All in all I'm happy that I was raised in a religion as it gave a framework for a belief system. But when it comes down to it, I also just believe in The Golden Rule. do unto others as you would have others do unto you...
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Hi BL,
I was raised in family with faith, but unlike most, ours was one of a more "individual" sort. I am what is known as a "dedicated" Unitarian. Which means that I did not come to this religion after seeking it (and, perhaps, rejecting another), but I was actually raised in it. I feel so fortunate to have had this experience. Most of the adult Unitarians I have known chose this religion after finding that the one they practiced was not "working" for them.
Many members of the UU church in the United States (in the U.S. the Unitarians and Universalists merged in the late 1950s) chose this religion after discovering that the one in which they were raised or the ones that they have explored do not "suit them."
Unitarian minister Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote of his religion (other Unitarians are Thoreau, Thomas Jefferson, etc.): God enters by a private door in every individual.
And this is what I think is key: You have to find YOUR faith and then whether or not you seek to worship with others (i.e. religion) is a choice you can make.
Faith is a very personal thing. But, I feel, there are fundamental truths that apply to all (i.e. you mentioned the Golden Rule) and Emerson also wrote on this: To believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men - that is genius.
I believe that there is one God (Uni) but that God speaks to each and every soul in a unique fashion. That we all have a "personal" relationship with God and it is up to us to build that relationship as we do those with our partners, children, family, friends, co-workers, etc.
I think that having the desire as you do is one of the first steps, and now I would start reading, thinking and listening to others and myself. You have done a lot of CBT with your LL and done well with that -- and I think the skills you developed when doing the CBT can be employed to build your faith.
More than half my life ago, I participated in a workshop that was entitled: "Writing Your Theology". In this workshop the participants discussed (without fear of being judge or mocked) what it was that they believed. And, as we met and shared -- listening to what others had experienced, felt and believed -- we found ourselves better able to express our own beliefs. I remember one woman saying after someone else had spoken, "I did not know until you said this, that I also felt this way."
Over the past three decades, I been church going, not chruch going, have taught Sunday School, planned church trips, etc. My children were Christened in the Methodist Church in the little village where my MIL lived. You might ask, "Why would a dedicated Unitarian have her children Christened?" The answer is simple -- although, to me Infant Baptism is merely a social convention, it is not to my MIL. And, paying respect to religious beliefs of others and honouring our parents does mean a lot to me, so I served my faith by allowing a grandmother to baptise her grandchildren.
Fourteen years later, my son chose to attend the Lutheran Confirmation Classes. I had been asked by the mother trying to gather enough participants to make the class possible to place my son in the class (we had been attending the Lutheran services because I felt "nourished" by the talented and well-educated minister's sermons). I told her that she would need to speak to him. I told her that I believed that only my son could possibly know whether or not this was something he felt "called" to do. She told me that she thought I was wrong and that as a parent you had to "give" your children a religion. I said that I disagreed -- that as I parent I should "expose" my children to opportunities to find their faith, but if I chose for them it would be my faith and not theirs. My son attend the course and worked very hard at it. He then had to decided if he was going to be Confirmed and he did. And, that is fine with us.
It sounds as if you were not "exposed" and that is unfortunate because you feel the absence. So, please go out and "expose" yourself. It is never too late and it sounds as if you are in a good place to explore your beliefs.
I wish you peace in the New Year and always.
Mel
I was raised in family with faith, but unlike most, ours was one of a more "individual" sort. I am what is known as a "dedicated" Unitarian. Which means that I did not come to this religion after seeking it (and, perhaps, rejecting another), but I was actually raised in it. I feel so fortunate to have had this experience. Most of the adult Unitarians I have known chose this religion after finding that the one they practiced was not "working" for them.
Many members of the UU church in the United States (in the U.S. the Unitarians and Universalists merged in the late 1950s) chose this religion after discovering that the one in which they were raised or the ones that they have explored do not "suit them."
Unitarian minister Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote of his religion (other Unitarians are Thoreau, Thomas Jefferson, etc.): God enters by a private door in every individual.
And this is what I think is key: You have to find YOUR faith and then whether or not you seek to worship with others (i.e. religion) is a choice you can make.
Faith is a very personal thing. But, I feel, there are fundamental truths that apply to all (i.e. you mentioned the Golden Rule) and Emerson also wrote on this: To believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men - that is genius.
I believe that there is one God (Uni) but that God speaks to each and every soul in a unique fashion. That we all have a "personal" relationship with God and it is up to us to build that relationship as we do those with our partners, children, family, friends, co-workers, etc.
I think that having the desire as you do is one of the first steps, and now I would start reading, thinking and listening to others and myself. You have done a lot of CBT with your LL and done well with that -- and I think the skills you developed when doing the CBT can be employed to build your faith.
More than half my life ago, I participated in a workshop that was entitled: "Writing Your Theology". In this workshop the participants discussed (without fear of being judge or mocked) what it was that they believed. And, as we met and shared -- listening to what others had experienced, felt and believed -- we found ourselves better able to express our own beliefs. I remember one woman saying after someone else had spoken, "I did not know until you said this, that I also felt this way."
Over the past three decades, I been church going, not chruch going, have taught Sunday School, planned church trips, etc. My children were Christened in the Methodist Church in the little village where my MIL lived. You might ask, "Why would a dedicated Unitarian have her children Christened?" The answer is simple -- although, to me Infant Baptism is merely a social convention, it is not to my MIL. And, paying respect to religious beliefs of others and honouring our parents does mean a lot to me, so I served my faith by allowing a grandmother to baptise her grandchildren.
Fourteen years later, my son chose to attend the Lutheran Confirmation Classes. I had been asked by the mother trying to gather enough participants to make the class possible to place my son in the class (we had been attending the Lutheran services because I felt "nourished" by the talented and well-educated minister's sermons). I told her that she would need to speak to him. I told her that I believed that only my son could possibly know whether or not this was something he felt "called" to do. She told me that she thought I was wrong and that as a parent you had to "give" your children a religion. I said that I disagreed -- that as I parent I should "expose" my children to opportunities to find their faith, but if I chose for them it would be my faith and not theirs. My son attend the course and worked very hard at it. He then had to decided if he was going to be Confirmed and he did. And, that is fine with us.
It sounds as if you were not "exposed" and that is unfortunate because you feel the absence. So, please go out and "expose" yourself. It is never too late and it sounds as if you are in a good place to explore your beliefs.
I wish you peace in the New Year and always.
Mel
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Wow, such great answers and so much info and food for thought. I am not ignoring anyone, just taking it all in. Its so interesting and helpful to hear your experiences. It really is an area I Know little or NOTHING about really.
i envy those that have a stong belief and faith, regardless of what it is. (My mom became a Unitarian member after my fathers death - and she began attending service. Mainly because the minister was a friend she and dad made on one of their trips through Russia - so mom called on him to do dads funeral servce since there was no family church, etc. I believe she began going as it gave her comfort. I liked what she told me about the religion - aspects I can remember. I find what little I know - admittedly it is really only about the UU - and a very little bit about Catholicism as many of my friends were raised in Catholic homes. But I do not know much other then the sterotypical 'snapshots' we see of other religions, and how much of that is fact and how much is imagined and force fed, I don;t now.
I just know, that I found myself wondering many years ago, when things just kept going wrong in my life when I was a young girl and a young women - I started thinking I had tried just about everything i could to make my life work better, and then kept falling short ot it - I began to wonder, is "someone" trying to tell me something. God or some other higher being - I don't know. I am just very confused, and feel a bit foolish for it.
I jst know something is missing in my life, and always has, and I have always had an underlying sadness in me for as long as I can remember - and now that both of my parents are gone - and I have no children - life seems kind of - well - like, "whats the point?", ya know? Maybe its still grief - or maybe just plan old depression. Or maybe there is something out there for me that I am missing.
I must sound like such a spaz to you all!!~ I just am confused. ANd probably thinking too much, again. AS usual. lol
But thank you so much - I am going to keep taking in all you have all shared with me - and I really appreciate it.
You are such lovely ladies - thank you so much.
MUAH~!
xxxx
i envy those that have a stong belief and faith, regardless of what it is. (My mom became a Unitarian member after my fathers death - and she began attending service. Mainly because the minister was a friend she and dad made on one of their trips through Russia - so mom called on him to do dads funeral servce since there was no family church, etc. I believe she began going as it gave her comfort. I liked what she told me about the religion - aspects I can remember. I find what little I know - admittedly it is really only about the UU - and a very little bit about Catholicism as many of my friends were raised in Catholic homes. But I do not know much other then the sterotypical 'snapshots' we see of other religions, and how much of that is fact and how much is imagined and force fed, I don;t now.
I just know, that I found myself wondering many years ago, when things just kept going wrong in my life when I was a young girl and a young women - I started thinking I had tried just about everything i could to make my life work better, and then kept falling short ot it - I began to wonder, is "someone" trying to tell me something. God or some other higher being - I don't know. I am just very confused, and feel a bit foolish for it.
I jst know something is missing in my life, and always has, and I have always had an underlying sadness in me for as long as I can remember - and now that both of my parents are gone - and I have no children - life seems kind of - well - like, "whats the point?", ya know? Maybe its still grief - or maybe just plan old depression. Or maybe there is something out there for me that I am missing.
I must sound like such a spaz to you all!!~ I just am confused. ANd probably thinking too much, again. AS usual. lol
But thank you so much - I am going to keep taking in all you have all shared with me - and I really appreciate it.
You are such lovely ladies - thank you so much.
MUAH~!
xxxx
coley144
Creating my life
Have a look at beliefnets belief o matic. It asks you questions about your beliefs then tells you which religion or non religion works for you. It got me right (pagan) and might help if you want to look into something.
http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Quizzes/BeliefOMatic.aspx
http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Quizzes/BeliefOMatic.aspx
