I am in week 5 of development and have to confess that I have found the last couple of weeks a real challenge, and have to admit the occasional lapse. From reading posts here and from talking to my fellow LL'ers in my group I understand that most of us who have got a lot more than 100 days to go, carrying on 100% and finding the motivation and willpower to do so will prove quite a challenge at one point or other.
I found it quite fascinating to realise how in a very short period of time, habits (however small) can re-establish themselves or even new ones being formed, which all of a sudden become the norm rather than the exception, which then tricked me into thinking that I am still doing this 100%, when in fact I wasn't. In my particular case it started with just the odd splash of milk in my coffee (something I started doing in milk week). In the end it was 1-2 milky coffees (I mean milky…) every day, which of course would mess with the whole process of weightloss whether I'd be sticking to the packs or actually eating something or not. From then on it's the actual little bits and bobs of food that get "just" put in the mouth ("I am certain it won't do much damage as long as it's not carbs"-thinking combined with the "I've been doing this forever" feeling). AND the biggest problem is that I seemed to be getting away with it for a while, which totally leaves a false sense of security and hence the allowances become more regularly. I was on a slippery slope and not even realising it.
Now my Counsellor, who I think is very good and sensitive to our needs, picked up on that as a group we were all starting to falter a bit, so she decided off topic to have a good chat about boundaries. Boundaries in general but obviously as this is the problem we all share boundaries regarding food in particular. And then the killer question about boundaries regarding our LL journey AND commitment. The way she put it really hit it home, basically she said that when we signed the form we agreed (obviously with her) but moreso with us that we would do this 100%, and she asked in what way our boundaries might have changed from that original agreement, in what way are we redefining the 4 litres and 4 foodpack rules, and also why we feel we struggle with something with for most of us was no problem during foundation. (she obviously said a lot more than that but these are the bits that stuck with me) It really made me think about my commitment to myself.
Also this led to the realisation that for ALL of us (in my group that is) the biggest killer seemed to be the idea of not knowing for how long we will have to carry on doing this, whereas during foundation it was very easy to concentrate on the final date (now this is not news to most here on MM). My LLC is aware of this shortfall of the programme as well and for a while had already been toying with an idea to make development more focused for us individually. She wondered whether we would find it helpful if she would give each one of us a target date/a boundary we can focus on (based on her experience and on our past weight loss history) at which stage (a bit like with the 100 days) we can decide/review whether we want to carry on or go into management. The idea being that a fixed and "official" date would give us that extra bit of motivation which we seemed to have lost (a bit like a cut of point for an exam I suppose)
Now for me it was as though a weight was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I just thought this was such a brilliant idea. On Wednesday she gave us all our target dates. She said that based on my weight loss history I should be able to achieve my weight loss by 10/10,which to me sounded really unachievable, plus I am more focused on my clothes size, (wanting to be a size 12). So we agreed a target of 1 month from 5/9/07. This has really helped me to refocus my efforts, I have been 100% yesterday, even cut out the milk and am still determined today. I believe that I can do 1 month, as much as I believe I can do 1 day (what I couldn't believe anymore was that I can do this for as long as it takes and that got me all messed up).
I hope that for some of you this might also be something you could do/ask your counsellor about, especially if it is the "this will never end" feeling that is dragging you down. This is a long journey and in order to get there we all might have to take diversions, redefine our route, set new targets along the way, and even maybe readjust our final destination (goal) as we learn more about ourselves and our bodies.
I found it quite fascinating to realise how in a very short period of time, habits (however small) can re-establish themselves or even new ones being formed, which all of a sudden become the norm rather than the exception, which then tricked me into thinking that I am still doing this 100%, when in fact I wasn't. In my particular case it started with just the odd splash of milk in my coffee (something I started doing in milk week). In the end it was 1-2 milky coffees (I mean milky…) every day, which of course would mess with the whole process of weightloss whether I'd be sticking to the packs or actually eating something or not. From then on it's the actual little bits and bobs of food that get "just" put in the mouth ("I am certain it won't do much damage as long as it's not carbs"-thinking combined with the "I've been doing this forever" feeling). AND the biggest problem is that I seemed to be getting away with it for a while, which totally leaves a false sense of security and hence the allowances become more regularly. I was on a slippery slope and not even realising it.
Now my Counsellor, who I think is very good and sensitive to our needs, picked up on that as a group we were all starting to falter a bit, so she decided off topic to have a good chat about boundaries. Boundaries in general but obviously as this is the problem we all share boundaries regarding food in particular. And then the killer question about boundaries regarding our LL journey AND commitment. The way she put it really hit it home, basically she said that when we signed the form we agreed (obviously with her) but moreso with us that we would do this 100%, and she asked in what way our boundaries might have changed from that original agreement, in what way are we redefining the 4 litres and 4 foodpack rules, and also why we feel we struggle with something with for most of us was no problem during foundation. (she obviously said a lot more than that but these are the bits that stuck with me) It really made me think about my commitment to myself.
Also this led to the realisation that for ALL of us (in my group that is) the biggest killer seemed to be the idea of not knowing for how long we will have to carry on doing this, whereas during foundation it was very easy to concentrate on the final date (now this is not news to most here on MM). My LLC is aware of this shortfall of the programme as well and for a while had already been toying with an idea to make development more focused for us individually. She wondered whether we would find it helpful if she would give each one of us a target date/a boundary we can focus on (based on her experience and on our past weight loss history) at which stage (a bit like with the 100 days) we can decide/review whether we want to carry on or go into management. The idea being that a fixed and "official" date would give us that extra bit of motivation which we seemed to have lost (a bit like a cut of point for an exam I suppose)
Now for me it was as though a weight was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I just thought this was such a brilliant idea. On Wednesday she gave us all our target dates. She said that based on my weight loss history I should be able to achieve my weight loss by 10/10,which to me sounded really unachievable, plus I am more focused on my clothes size, (wanting to be a size 12). So we agreed a target of 1 month from 5/9/07. This has really helped me to refocus my efforts, I have been 100% yesterday, even cut out the milk and am still determined today. I believe that I can do 1 month, as much as I believe I can do 1 day (what I couldn't believe anymore was that I can do this for as long as it takes and that got me all messed up).
I hope that for some of you this might also be something you could do/ask your counsellor about, especially if it is the "this will never end" feeling that is dragging you down. This is a long journey and in order to get there we all might have to take diversions, redefine our route, set new targets along the way, and even maybe readjust our final destination (goal) as we learn more about ourselves and our bodies.
arty0019: and one for those of us who have struggled and strayed:sign0007:. Its optional which class you go to! I also think that it will be helpful to those who have stuck rigourously to the plan not to have those of us who haven't talking about lapsing etc!! 
