Leeanne i hope next time i do this i can take all ive learnt this time and have a far more easy time with it, even looking back now im not sure how i coped, and that was with mw's on tap (or more so, my relentless demand)
Im so torn, Penny hates her bottle. Absoloutly freaking hates it. Weve tried dr.browns, avent, NUK and now tommee tippee. She gets SO upset, just like when we first tried bf. I want a little bit of freedom. Im not ready to give up bf by any stretch of the imagination. I dont want to yet, and shes certainly not ready. Little Booby Addict! - but i had intended to only exclusivly bf her anothe 6-8 weeks before combi feeding.. But that wont be possible if she keeps refusing the bottle. I get upset when she gets so distraught and i dont feel its worth going through what we went through with bf to get her onto a bottle. Id rather just keep going, but its making me nervous should anything happen to me and i cant bf, or just being able to go out for a few hours if need be. I leave her on a monday night for sw for an hour and a half, no more. I feed her before i leave and leave daddy a bottle to feed her with incase. Everytime i come home she's either in such a state, or she's fallen asleep because she's given up (that, just breaks my heart) ... i feel selfish, i feel guilty.. i also feel like i can't imagine her being on bottles anyways, im so used to bf now. I dont know the first thing about bottle feeding, it'd be like learning bf all over again.. but i want the flexibility and Joe wants to feel confident that if im not there, he can provide with no fuss. .... everytime the bottle even goes near her she instantly crys, archs her back and even pushes it away from her mouth. I usually give up *throwing yet more precious booby milk away sigh* .. but last night i held it in her mouth, and after a few seconds, though it felt like forever.. she did suck. Not much, but she did. which is more than she's ever done before as she's always just chewed if anything, like she doesnt know what to do with it. Weve been trying for weeks now, once or twice a week.. i leave the room, Joe tries, my mums tried.. my sister. Iv tried and she has sucked a bit. I even tried formula incase the different smell intreuiged (sp) her. . but that was ever worse :O ..
i feel like we spent 9 months as one, she's my baby and i adore this amazingly strong bond we have. I love that i can comfort her when no one else can and that my body is still providing and giving her exactly and exclusivly what she needs 3 months on.. I dont want to take that comfort from her, but i also feel that bf over 6 months isn't for me, even though deep down i know i would. Its just this flexibility i want to know i have. Not that i ever leave her for a long enough period anyways, and so not ready too anytime soon.. but i need to know i can. Her cry, it makes me so sad.
any advise?
