Bulimia

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by mac79, 23 October 2006 Social URL.

  1. mac79

    mac79 Member

    I hope you don't mind me writing. I am on day 13 LL and have struggled a bit this week. Some of this I think is down to the approaching time of the month. Normally I would be eating anything that isn't tied down. I confess that I had a couple of pieces of chicken the other night - about the size of a small matchbox. I also had a couple of slivers of cheese. I know, I know, I've been berating myself since then.

    What I really am posting about is my bulimia. I have suffered for erm, my God 14 years now. I have phases and recently it has been quite bad. Being on LL has certainly helped but I am having those urges. If you have ever smoked it is like that desperation for a fag if you can't have one. I can feel a sort of panic rising up in me.

    I am trying to get through this day by day, bit(e) by bit(e). Is there anyone else out there feeling the same?

    Thanks. x
     
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  3. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Diet:
    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    Aww sweetie. That must be awful to live with. My heart goes out to you. As an ex-smoker and food addict, I understand that need though I've never been bulimic.

    IMO, I really feel that anyone with bulimia shouldn't be SSing. It can be so dangerous. I guess you've considered other diets? Does your LL counsellor know you are bulimic?
     
  4. mac79

    mac79 Member

    I haven't brought it up (so to speak). I really do feel that when the weight comes off the urges to binge will be less because alot of it is linked to self esteem and mine is damaged by how I feel about the way i look. if that makes sense.

    Frankly all of us are there for one eating problem or another, whether it is bulimia or over-indulgence or not knowing when to stop. The CBT is a recognised way of treating bulimia, and I hope that it helps
     
  5. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

    Start Weight:
    15st3lb
    Current Weight:
    13st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st6lb(9.39%)
    Diet:
    Slim and Save
    Not sure about LL but on CD anorexia and bulimia are contra indicated. Presumably yr doctor knows you have bulimia - and for LL you need to have a doctors letter to say you can do it.

    Hope you soon feel better Gemma.
     
  6. mac79

    mac79 Member

    I'm not the only one on here though, am I? Had to go to a different sugery as mine has a blanket policy against vlcd. I wasn't specifically asked the question.
     
  7. gaijingirl

    gaijingirl has lying hips

    Diet:
    LL
    Hi there,

    I'm bulimic too and have been for about 12 years (ever since at university a group of girlfriends and I used to drink till we were really drunk - take it in turns to throw up and then start again!! It occurred to me that if it worked for drink it would work for food :rolleyes: ) - sadly my logic was flawed! I had no problems getting on LL - my doctor knows about my bulimia - and last week (week 2) we had to fill out a questionnaire during our meeting that specifically asked whether we ever throw up or make ourselves vomit after food - so clearly it isn't contraindicated. I was completely honest and my counsellor hasn't called to kick me off the programme yet!! :D

    For me LL has been a blessing. As well as gaining weight at an alarming rate I was binge/purging up to 4 times a day - sometimes more. I'm on day 20 now of LL and since starting I have had almost daily urges to eat something. A couple of times I've heard the voices saying - "go on, you can throw it up after, so it won't even count".. but I'm SO TERRIFIED of getting out of ketosis that I can't do it. It is SUCH a relief to be freed from the b/p cycle I can't tell you. But it is terrifying to think that I might go back to it.

    To me it seems almost inevitable at this point that I will continue to do this when I lose weight. When I started b/p initially, I had previously lost 6 stone and I was so terrified of regaining that b/p seemed the only solution to stop weight gain. That being said, I did go through phases when I wasn't b/p and those were the periods when my weight stayed level effortlessly - so obviously it doesn't help!!

    I'm hoping that this time, the counselling and therapy will really help. Before I started LL I was looking into counselling for bulimia anyway and realised that this would be a good way to both get counselling around my food issues AND lose weight at the same time.

    I'm slowly coming to the realisation that I'm going to be in this for the long haul. I have to make sure I don't flake out after 100 days thinking everything will be fine! Even after I've been through development/maintenance I will continue to have counselling privately if necessary. I've met some bulimics who have ended up hospitalised and having operations and you probably know yourself the utter hatred and self loathing that comes with being bulimic.

    I really hope that LL helps you. Sorry I don't have any real advice apart from to say "Don't give up" and you're not alone. I honestly believe that we can beat this and one day food won't control us anymore. :)
     
  8. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Diet:
    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    No, you're not the only one. Do a search for horseycarrie, though she isn't doing a vlcd anymore.
    Yes, a lot of have eating disorders of one type or other, the difference is that if you purge whilst on a vlcd (before you find that 'cure'), you could end up making yourself extremely ill.

    I know it's tough when you want to lose the weight really quick, but your health must come first.

    Take care and loads of hugs[​IMG]
     
  9. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Diet:
    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    Sorry....didn't see gaijingirl message before I posted. Must have posted together.

    I'm still concerned though
     
  10. gaijingirl

    gaijingirl has lying hips

    Diet:
    LL
    Karion.. I think you're right to be concerned. Obviously if you start throwing up your foodpacks that is definitely a bad thing!

    However, for me, the urge to purge usually comes after a binge. At my worst I was throwing up everything I ate and then just eating more. But generally the two come together. LL has been fantastic for me because I am no longer bingeing. That choice has been taken away from me. Therefore I no longer purge.

    However, I didn't really admit to myself or recognise that I was bulimic until the last year or so. Until then I kept it secret from everyone and didn't recognise it myself. I think anyone who is openly admitting their bulimia is generally already on the first step to recovery and by and large recognise the problems that b/p can create.

    I would be more worried about someone who was doing LL or another VLCB and was not being open/honest about it (at least to themselves - not necessarily shouting it to the world!).

    Or if Mac, after eating the chicken/cheese - you - threw up! I think if that is the case and if you don't think you can stop it happening again - then definitely you should come off the diet and maybe go for counselling separately initially. But of course, that's just my opinion!
     
  11. mac79

    mac79 Member

    hey gaijingirl - no I didn't throw up the chicken or cheese and whilst on the straight and narrow of LL no urges to either. Crikey - there isn't anything to throw up!!!! I'm wobbling in terms of "real" food rather than the packs. Weigh in is tomorrow so perhaps a weightloss will stablise me in terms of focussing me and reminding me why I am doing this. It really is all so complicated. Not quite as easy as "eat less, do more" is it?
     
  12. gaijingirl

    gaijingirl has lying hips

    Diet:
    LL
    WI probably will help.

    I actually find LL very uncomplicated. Eat your packs - that's it. :D My problem is that if I'm allowed any food at all.... I can't stop myself. But.. I do get HUGE urges to eat all the time. I was really miserable on Sat evening when ALL my friends and boyfriend were in the pub drinking and eating and going on to a club. In the end I left and went home to bed alone. :( But I was so glad on Sunday morning that I did!

    What I have been trying to do is arrange lots of other things to keep me occupied. Tonight I'm meeting very close girlfriends - ordinarily we would go to a restaurant, but tonight we're going to a pub quiz instead. I've joined a book club and I'm in a very active craft group - although both have plenty of food and drink that's not the main aim of the evening. I've seen SO many films since I started this diet - it's great really! I reckon I'm actually saving money because I could easily spend £30 a day and throw it up when I was going through bad patches!

    It is both easy and hard this diet - a wierd one really. I hope you get a great weight loss at your WI. Do let us know how you get on!

    GG
    :)
     
  13. kebab

    kebab Full Member

    i'M BULIMIC TOO

    HI, I HAVEN'T POSTED FOR MONTHS (MY APPOLOGIES TO ALL - COMPUTER WENT BANG, HAVE TAKEN ME A LONG TIME TO GET NEW ONE, AND LONGER TO WORK OUT HOW TO GET THE THING TO DO ANYTHING) AND HAVEN'T STUCK TO VLCD. HAD STARTED ON LL WHICH WORKED, BUT SWITCHED TO CD. THIS DIDN'T DO IT FOR ME AND I STARTED THE B P CYCLE AGAIN.

    MY DOC KNOWS I'M BULIMIC AND WAS HAPPY FOR ME TO GO ON LL. CD HOWEVER STATE YOU CANNOT DO IT IF YOU ARE BULIMIC, HOWEVER, THE COUNCILLOR I HAD FILLED IN MY MEDICAL FORM WITHOUT ASKING ANY OF THE QUESTIONS AND TICKED NO TO BULIMIA. IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE I HAPPENED TO SEE A LOCUM TO GET THE FORM FILLED THAT I GOT SIGNED.

    I HAVE BEEN BP'ING FOR 5 SOLID DAYS NOW AND HAVE GAINED 7LBS BACK!!! I FEEL AWFUL. I WANT TO CRY. MY STOMACH HURTS AND THINGS ARE JUST VERY DARK FOR ME. I'M NOT TELLING YOU THIS TO GET SYMPATHY, BUT TO SAY THAT THIS IS THE ALTERANATIVE TO FOLLOWING A VLCD. (MY OPINION ONLY - ALWAYS SEEK ADVICE FROM A DOCTOR) TODAY I START LL AGAIN. I CANNOT FACE THE DAILY BATTLE WITH FOOD. AS SOMEONE HAS ALREADY SAID ON THIS THREAD - LL IS EASY - NO CHOICES, JUST GRAB 4 PACKS A DAY - JOB DONE. I'M HOPING TO BEAT MY BATTLE WITH BULIMIA ONE DAY. ALL THE TREATMENT AT VARIOUS HOSPITALS THAT I HAVE HAD HAS NOT HELPED ME (THOUGH I WOULD URGE ANYONE WHO BELIEVES THEY HAVE AN EATING DISORDER TO SEEK PROFFESSIONAL HELP AS IT DOES WORK FOR THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE) BUT I'VE BEEN BULIMIC FOR OVER 20 YEARS, IT'S NOT GOING WITHOUT A FIGHT.

    I DO BELIEVE THAT LL CAN HELP. I FOLLOWED IT FOR ABOUT 6 WEEKS BEFORE SWITCHING TO CD AND LOVED THE FREEDOM FROM FOOD IT GAVE ME. I WAS HAPPY AND AT PEACE. I'M HOPING TO FIND THAT AGAIN AND I HOPE THAT IT WILL OFFER YOU THE SAME PEACE. AS LONG AS YOUR DOCTOR IS HAPPY FOR YOU TO FOLLOW IT, I CAN'T SEE THAT YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO LOSE. THERE ARE SEVERAL BULIMICS WHO POST HERE, YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR BATTLE. WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU.
     
  14. mac79

    mac79 Member

    Oh Kebab - 5 days! you must be shattered - physically and mentally. Have you managed to identify the trigger? I have to say that I always feel better when I come out the other side. Not that that is a recommendation by any means. Hope you get on alright on your first day back. Today feels a bit like a first day again for me too.
     
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