Can the party girl finally slim down??

Have you considered trying a 'shopper' in the department stores? Or even a really good friend? As your body changes, your clothes can change. But it can be sooooo hard to see for yourself because the mind is a murky place!!! X buy the smaller size and rejoice. After all, it's what you have been working so hard for.
 
I've thought about it but always think they'll just be a bit frumpy? I'm a nightmare! Although had a bit of an achievement today. Went to bravissimo (only place I can find bras) as all my bras are too big. I've been buying the odd smaller one but now it's everything. Gone from a 38J (ridiculously big, was just embarassing but hey, the rest of me was a very big 18) to a 34HH! Made up! It was a gradual thing and it's over the past year but a 34 back??? Amaze! And bought 2 dresses. One stone coloured pencil dress for work (stone! Not black!!!) and the most stunning coral pink prom style one. Pink! Me! And you know what size? 14 really curvy and 12 super curvy!!!! Ok the 12 im 100% certain was a random sizing fluke but I'm totally made up! Colour!!! And I don't feel awkward! Yay! Now just need to tackle all the casual stuff! X
 
Weird day today. Had to chuck out some clothes as no space and I found it really hard. I struggle to see how much I've lost as I still see the same in the mirror but I tried some things on and they were just stupidly big. I've gone from a very big 18 to a 14 and I know that's a lot but I can't see it. And I was holding these clothes up and they were stupidly big and I just freaked out and didn't want to throw anything out as a) I spent forever finding stuff that somewhat suited me and fitted and b) I'm kinda scared that tomorrow im going to wake up that size again. Don't get me wrong, I'm determined not to go back but this just feels weird. How am I a 14?? Keep thinking the labels must be wrong... X
 
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goingtobeskinnysoon said:
Weird day today. Had to chuck out some clothes as no space and I found it really hard. I struggle to see how much I've lost as I still see the same in the mirror but I tried some things on and they were just stupidly big. I've gone from a very big 18 to a 14 and I know that's a lot but I can't see it. And I was holding these clothes up and they were stupidly big and I just freaked out and didn't want to throw anything out as a) I spent forever finding stuff that somewhat suited me and fitted and b) I'm kinda scared that tomorrow im going to wake up that size again. Don't get me wrong, I'm determined not to go back but this just feels weird. How am I a 14?? Keep thinking the labels must be wrong... X
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I feel EXACTLY the same. I still have clothes that are 18 because I've looked at them 2 or 3 times intending to throw them away and then changed my mind. I'm doing it as a slow process, Ive thrown a few things away, will continue to throw bits and bobs out as o buy new clothes to replace them hopefully.
 
Oh dear, its always the way - getting sick just before weekend/time off work. So unfair. Hope you're feeling much better soon.
 
Thanks hun, thankfully it went on saturday, not nice. Although kind of nice in a twisted way as i (stupid i know, but hey) decided to hop on the scales - I was into the 12s!!! Yes, 2 days of barely drinking let alone eating so not counting i know, blah blah blah but hey, made me smile at least.

Had a very weird weekend. Been to see family who i havent really seen for about 18 months (we're not close....). They were blown away and i couldnt really get it. Then i realised why. The pics that they have up are of me at my heaviest so theyre expecting size 22 me to step out the car and instead theres a size 14 version of someone who looks a lot like who they were expecting........ After all the oooohs and aaaaahs it then turned into quite a horrible 'oh watch out, dont let her near the chocolates, she'll be back that way again' and 'oh we were worried about you, we thought you'd got to the no going back stage' and 'oh i got stuck next to this huge fat woman the other day' and then 'oh careful, shes on a diet, don't offer her cake' etc etc. I didnt realise my family were so 'fatist' until now. I guess they toned it down for my benefit. Don't get me wrong, theyre my family and i love them to bits but its hard when you see another side. If they were so worried about me, why did no one other than my dad (he wasnt there, different side of family) actually sit me down and talk to me? I saw the size 22 pics and had to leave the room they upset me that much. I knew i was big but seeing it again when youve avoided all the photos is something else really.

I also kind of realised where my weight gain came from. My family are hugely controlling around food and always were looking back. Really it was because they were worried about me getting overweight but i realise now that them doing that is actually what caused much of it. Food was always restricted with me. I was only allowed what they thought was enough rather than filling me up so i was constantly hungry and the same happened this weekend. I remember as a kid i used to go back in the kitchen after dinner and try and find more food as i was genuinely hungry - it wasnt treats i was after, it was to stop the hunger. I was a really active kid but was always bigger than everyone else both in height and weight and i guess they didnt want the fat kid to be theirs so telling me id had enough was their way of stopping it. But it just made it worse. I found myself doing the same thing this weekend. Meals were over and because it was stuff like white bread and things i was hungry quite soon after but that was it, nothing else until dinner, we dont do snacking. Im used to eating about 6 small meals with SW and this was 2 small and 1 huge and i actually got hunger pangs and really irritable.

I cant really explain it and i know its not coming out right on here but things are a little bit clearer in my head now. It was a painful weekend but one i learnt something from so i guess thats a positive. This is the first week i havent weighed in as ive been away so think im just going to stick to plan all week and wait until next time. Im pleased ive discovered where some of my issues came from even though it was difficult. Feeling a bit emotional now x
 
*hugs* Glad you learnt where it all stemmed from, but sorry it was hurtful for you :(
 
People should not be allowed on public transport with pizza. Ban it pls!!! Smelt AMAZE!

Well today I cannot move. Did powerplates weds and thurs and OMG. agony doesn't even begin to describe it. Bear in mind my fitness is pretty good - I do spinning, boxing and circuits and tire myself out but I'm up there with the proper gym types (you might not believe it to look at me...!). Powerplates are tough!!! I've worked muscles I never thought I had - easily the toughest thing I've done in gym by a mile. Prob didn't help that trainers is hardcore and I was like yeah let's go for it. Jeez. Ive booked a months worth - may have been a mistake...!

Went round the shops today and on a complete whim I tried on some crazy patterned maxi dresses (so not me, I do black plain stuff and that's it). And I bought them!!! A DP size 14 and a Topshop size 12! 12!!!! I've never in my life owned anything in a 12!! I wasn't even going to bother but I loved the colour but there was only 12s left and OH was like give it a go it's not like it's fitted so I did. So happy!!!!

Been on a plateau for weeks now but today has made me feel better. Off to make that SW Swiss roll again but decided I'm going to just use the cake bit and stack it with some fruit and see how that goes. Nom! X
 
Wow, a 12! That's exciting. I can't wait to be a 12! :D well done on the exercise, you might not struggle with the shred if you tried it like I described it on my diary haha.
 
goingtobeskinnysoon said:
Thanks hun - it's so exciting!!! I'm def not a real 12 but I think I've accepted that I'm now a 14 rather than a 16 who can fit some 14s if that makes sense? It's a weird feeling. I still always pick up 16s expecting them to be a squeeze. Yay! X
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I know what you mean. I'm a 16 that can fit into some 14 at the minute and I still can't even believe that a 16 fits me!
 
Really struggling this week. Think the change of exercise has made me more hungry as I literally cannot stop eating! Although it is certainly not to blame for the entire 30 syn bar of g&b that i devoured today. Feel a bit embarrassed but at the same time ive owned up to it so I'm not beating myself up about it. I've carried on counting and that's better than nothing. Fresh start tomorrow. Again.... X
 
Bought another size 14 dress! Wooo! Tried to post it but won't upload. It's a floaty blue and White diagonal stripe number - something I would never ever go for in a million years normally. Still trying to get my head round the fact i don't look quite so enormous now and it's hard.

Went bikini shopping yesterday. Scary stuff! First time ever (I normally hide in a tankini and sarongs). Size 14 bottoms and 34h tops which is a huge achievement. It's not the prettiest sight in the world but I figure a bit of fake tan will help and now my legs aren't quite as smothered in cellulite it's a bit more doable. Will try and cut the carbs the week before and do some red days as my stomach is still my worst area. But from the back, I'm actually ok. Not good by any means but ok...

Decided tonight I am going to have my 2nd takeaway of the year as I've been out of control with the fantasising about it. 65 syns worth and ive brought rest of week down to 8 to try and bring it somewhere not too awful. But I feel like I need to just do it as I'm constantly punishing myself for not losing and it's getting silly. Going to fill up on superfree beforehand and then enjoy it and move on. Fingers crossed! X
 
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