Cara's New JUDDDD Diary

halfangelhalftart said:
Have you read much about Zopiclone??
Have been on fluoxetine, escitalopram and sertraline in the past. Hate having to take them but feeling low to the point believe my boys would be better off without me. Told my hubby this. He offered to go to Morrisons.

Hmm not an ideal response i must say! Anyone else u can talk to? Never for one min believe ur children ir anyone else in ur life is better kff without u , it just isnt true and that isnt rational (sorry, but im sure u know that and i say it as having thought that way myself) You NEEEd to go to the doc asap.
Im a dick! My zopiclone is my new thing for sleeping. Anti d's are cotalopram or something (cant find box!) only got zopiclone on fri as doc wouldnt give me anything for lack of sleep for ages until i said i was actually going bonkers!

Depression runs in the female side of mums family. Literally all the women are on anti d's. i came off mine for a bit and really noticed the difference. For me i struggle with high highs and low lows , nothing in between if makes sense.

Dont be embarrassed or ashamed, it jsnt ur fault so ur helping urself and ur kids by getting it sorted x
 
Cara

Not sure I can add anything wise, unlike Jacci and Caroline, but I'll support you in any way I can.

Keep posting, keep talking, see what the doctor says.

Much love
P x
 
Yes how u doodlin little lady? Xx


Ps zopiclone=worst taste in mouth ever. Recommend something else if ur after something for sleep deprivation!
 
Oi!

R u ok little one? Radio contact pls! X
 
Thanks for all the advice and concern. *big huge hugs*. Got docs apt for this coming Monday so hopefully stay sane til then ha.

Tried to do 2 dds Mon and Tue but they weren't very successful but not too bad. Had up Wed and dd today. Had a banana just before leaving work as was going for driving lesson. It was crap. My legs were wobbly before I started and my concentration was off. Plus? A bit twitchy from all the black coffees! My lessons are on a Thur so might have to make them UDs.

Anyway, seeing as I knew it would be a while before I get on any meds I decided to up the exercise to boost the so called happy endorphins. So have done summat everyday. I prefer HIIT/Tabata routines as I don't have time for long gym sessions. Finally onto week 2 of C25K. On Tue I do the journey to the childminders and Thur I do the journey to work. Neither are 5K tho so not sure I'll ever complete it!

Has anyone tried the Elimination Diet to see if they have any food intolerances?

Hey, I'm Caroline Sheville Chirnside on FB if anyone wants to stalk me ;oD
 
halfangelhalftart said:
Thanks for all the advice and concern. *big huge hugs*. Got docs apt for this coming Monday so hopefully stay sane til then ha.

Tried to do 2 dds Mon and Tue but they weren't very successful but not too bad. Had up Wed and dd today. Had a banana just before leaving work as was going for driving lesson. It was crap. My legs were wobbly before I started and my concentration was off. Plus? A bit twitchy from all the black coffees! My lessons are on a Thur so might have to make them UDs.

Anyway, seeing as I knew it would be a while before I get on any meds I decided to up the exercise to boost the so called happy endorphins. So have done summat everyday. I prefer HIIT/Tabata routines as I don't have time for long gym sessions. Finally onto week 2 of C25K. On Tue I do the journey to the childminders and Thur I do the journey to work. Neither are 5K tho so not sure I'll ever complete it!

Has anyone tried the Elimination Diet to see if they have any food intolerances?

Hey, I'm Caroline Sheville Chirnside on FB if anyone wants to stalk me ;oD

Good news about doc, Cara and well done on the exercise (I thought my hubby was the only one who ever said "summat"! ;))

Added you to Facebook :D

P x
 
Sounds like some uber positive stuff happening there love! Here's hoping the doc sorts u out. Exercise fan step for many reasons, endorphins, weightloss and also just feeling good that u didnt sit on yer butt all day, so good girl! Xxx
 
I know they drive you up the wall (and round the ceiling!) sometimes, but your kids are absolutely gorgeous! x
 
Cheers hun. They do make me laugh so much and give the best cuddles. And all this losing weight/keep fit lark is really so I'm around longer for them. Most of their friends at school have mum's in their early 20s and I'm nearly 40.

Haven't been v good on diet this week. Mon and Tue were supposed to be DD but didn't count and prob went over. Wed was def Up. Thur was s good day tho. Did C25K on way to work and went to Aquafit after work. Didn't feel challenged by it though so prob won't do again.

Fri was going to be Down but got an Indians as the chicken I was going to cook smelt a bit iffy. Haha. Any excuse eh? Sadly, the meal was a bit disappointing. I want my calories back godammit.

Up today. Week 2, day 3 of C25K then Maccydee bacon n egg mcmuffin for brekkie so very healthy start. Hoho. Trip to Tesco brought forth a Halloween cup cake with 4 Haribo on. Finally got a bottle of the new orange truffle flavoured Baileys to try tonight. A month's calories in a sniff no doubt.

Weigh in will be on Mon but not expecting a loss due to poor diet performance. Got night out on 3 Nov but it's not proving an incentive. Grrrr.
 
Doc was really lovely. Thinks CBT might be a good way forward so gave me meds and a leaflet for Talking Therapies. I hate taking meds. I avoid taking even paracetamol - hence why I end up stopping any meds I've had in the past.

Will have to get hubby to get the snip so I can come off the pill. One less chemical to put in my body ;oD

So on and up. Not long til half term. There's a training day on the Friday before which I don't have to work. Hubby off too so hopefully we can do something together.
A night out planned for 3 Nov and will hopefully see a few old friends so can't wait.

Hopefully work won't piss me off too much - but unlikely. Boo hiss

Diet not going great. Going over Dd cals. Seem to have lost willpower and become complacent.

Weigh in today was an STS so been a few weeks since any real progress. However, last time I lost weight I got to 11,4 and I bought a stretchy belt to jazz up a top I had. However, it was too tight - lots of bulge. Tried it on yesterday and it was a comfortable fit. Loose, even!!

So, must get some good DDs in the bag and stay on track with exercise. Week 3, Day 1 of C25k tomorrow.
 
Glad the docs went well, sounds positive.

And a STS, although annoying, isn't all that bad - sometimes I think it's gd to 'stabilise' before losing more. Good news on the belt front though :)
 
All sounds pretty positive from where im sitting babe. Baby steps, rome wasn't built in a day but ul get right soon :)

Re sts, think thats pretty bloody impressive given whats been going on. Xx
 
Trying to concentrate on the nsvs while scales are being stubborn. Would love to lose half stone by 3rd Nov but I seem to have lost my determination and control of late. Getting lax. The exercise is probably preventing a gain. MUST DO BETTER!

Loving C25K in a way I never imagined. Altho I'm sure Week 5 day 3 will kill me!

Doc gave me Sertraline. Have given myself a panic attack reading the side effects and I'm scared to take them. I have a very over active imagination. I'm very much a worse case scenario person.

I think I just need some romance and I'll be fine. Lol
 
I've been on Sertraline before, when I was breastfeeding, so I view it as one of the safer ones :) Also managed to wean myself off it in a sensible way and that worked out great (until the next 'episode'...!! A lifelong struggle I fear). I think freaking out over the side effects is part of the illness - like when I run out of meds and can't get the motivation to sort out another prescription. Try to just get them down ya neck and you'll feel soo much better and ready to tackle anything.

Reading back over your diary I really feel for you - it's so not fair to be expected to raise children and work full time (especially when you don't have a car so this lengthens your day even more), I work 32 hours a week but luckily I drive so get back for school pick up 4 days a week, but still lament that I get NO time at home alone at all to get some housework done - as of course, despite only working 3 hours a week less than DH I do ALL the housework/shopping/taxi-ing (he can't drive)

If you can power through with the driving lessons I think this will make your life so much easier

Yay for C25K, I only managed to get to week 2, week 5 is totes amaze!! And it will certainly help with any dietary slip ups!!

Have a smashing day :)
 
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