Step 1 Sole Source + Carb Junkie Going Cold Turkey

Ahhhhh......why is this so difficult???? So I lasted all of 1.5 days on my New Year restart :-( I am really struggling with the new commute and being back on the diet, there might be too much going on at a time when I am not back into a routine. I need to nail down a new routine soon!!! We had a binge at the weekend and so back to day one again. A terrible journey to work today has left me really not wanting to diet today but I haven't given in yet. Please please just let me get through this week and back into ketosis.....!!!!!

I have to keep repeating over and over:

"you may be wearing a size 16 pair of trousers but that won't last long if you keep eating like you do!!!! And you need to lose a bit more to be a comfortable 16 anyway..."
"you put on 5lb over the Christmas/New Year period, just work to get that off....baby steps"
"just get down to 11 stone and then you are soooo close to your goal...!!!"
"only 8lb to go and you will have lost 5 stone!!!"
"you have done it before, you can do it again!"
"you faffed around for the second 12 weeks, that's why you only lost a total of 20lb vs. the amazing 42lb you managed in the first 12 weeks"
 
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Right so been an unproductive work day but kept myself busy researching the option of switching one of my Cambridge products for a Slim & Save product a day. For two of us this would save us about £100 a month (going with the one where you get 84 items) which is pretty good! But the MAIN reason is just because I am struggling so much that maybe their little meals will be enough to keep me going. The idea of being allowed a little tub of "cheesy pasta" a day is VERY APPEALING!! On this other hand having a small amount of food might result in us going the opposite way and not being satisfied with such a small amount of food...??? Another big plus is that HOPEFULLY it will result in us having less treats and making the next 12 weeks more sucessful than the last...(though I know losing the last amount will be slower so will measure % lost rather than the actual lbs)
 
Day 2...again....

Breakfast shake done but feeling a little icky after it, not sure why. I'm going to put it down to not having sussed out my routine yet and say I should have had it earlier when my tummy was growling and now it's complaining. Though there is a funny taste left in my mouth, maybe my shaker needs a bleaching as it is a bit whiffy, it get's that way if it's not left to air properly overnight.

Placing my first slim and save order today and considering giving up Cambridge all together. I would hate to stop seeing my consultant but my mum is having financial issues at the moment and I want to be able to help. My wife and I are spending a total of about £400 a month on Cambridge and if I can half that with Slim & Save then she can get that money. All because my little sister went to live with her lay about Dad and he started asking for maintenance, even though he gets paid more than my mum and she already pays for her bus pass, buys her school clothes etc. Basically if he can do anything to hurt her he will and currently that's trying to make sure she has as little to live on as possible. Been feeling pretty misterable about it as I live over 300 miles away and wish there was more I could do to help. He's such a ******* ****!!!!! (I put the * in there as don't want my work browser to send it to admin).

I was looking for legal vindictive things I could do back yesterday but failed to think of anything, even registering his email for spam apparently you can't do legally. He's turned into a vindictive, selfish, petty ******* since the divorce. He's currently bordering on harrassment with parking outside my mums work, sending cut up newspaper letters etc. The problem is that he doesn't do it more than 3 times a week so doesn't qualify as "harrassing" according to the police. If I feel this miserable about the situation then I can't imagine how my mum feels.
 
Day 2...again....

Breakfast shake done but feeling a little icky after it, not sure why. I'm going to put it down to not having sussed out my routine yet and say I should have had it earlier when my tummy was growling and now it's complaining. Though there is a funny taste left in my mouth, maybe my shaker needs a bleaching as it is a bit whiffy, it get's that way if it's not left to air properly overnight.

Placing my first slim and save order today and considering giving up Cambridge all together. I would hate to stop seeing my consultant but my mum is having financial issues at the moment and I want to be able to help. My wife and I are spending a total of about £400 a month on Cambridge and if I can half that with Slim & Save then she can get that money. All because my little sister went to live with her lay about Dad and he started asking for maintenance, even though he gets paid more than my mum and she already pays for her bus pass, buys her school clothes etc. Basically if he can do anything to hurt her he will and currently that's trying to make sure she has as little to live on as possible. Been feeling pretty misterable about it as I live over 300 miles away and wish there was more I could do to help. He's such a ******* ****!!!!! (I put the * in there as don't want my work browser to send it to admin).

I was looking for legal vindictive things I could do back yesterday but failed to think of anything, even registering his email for spam apparently you can't do legally. He's turned into a vindictive, selfish, petty ******* since the divorce. He's currently bordering on harrassment with parking outside my mums work, sending cut up newspaper letters etc. The problem is that he doesn't do it more than 3 times a week so doesn't qualify as "harrassing" according to the police. If I feel this miserable about the situation then I can't imagine how my mum feels.

your mum should contact the csa( or what ever its called now) she will have to pay around 15% of her income but if she has other dependant s she ll get it reduced a bit. also she should stop all bus pass /clothes as she is not expected to do this if she s forking out maintenance.

dont know anything about the harassment side but that s rubbish, your poor mum
keep strong
jxx
 
your mum should contact the csa( or what ever its called now) she will have to pay around 15% of her income but if she has other dependant s she ll get it reduced a bit. also she should stop all bus pass /clothes as she is not expected to do this if she s forking out maintenance.

dont know anything about the harassment side but that s rubbish, your poor mum
keep strong
jxx

Yeah, she contacted them and only has to pay £39 a week, which I can help her out with anyway..and she has savings. It's gotten less about the money and more about just him as a horrible person!!

My sister is 15 and he's not making her go to school, it's her GCSE year and she's skipping 1-2 days a week. Attendence is 86% (1% above the legal border to get whatever agency it is involved), I'm sorry to say since moving in with him she really is turning into a not very nice person and I hate to say that about my own sister!!! She doesn't have to do any housework anymore, he buys her smokes and alcohol...he was a bit of a stoner so I wouldn't be surprised if he was giving her some weed as well!!! She's allowed out to parties till 3am and basically is "her friend" not a parent in any capacity.

Just annoyed about everything in general with him at the moment. This is someone who raised me for 10 years when I was little, called me his child and I called him dad and then told me he wanted nothing to do with me after I told him he shouldn't be asking a 12 year old who she wants to live with...it's him and my mum to decide. "You can't tell me how to raise my daughter...." etc.

Just AHHHHHHHHH!
 
you can t change peoples behaviour and he won t give to hoots about the detrimental effect his actions are having on your sister. it ll all be about sticking it to your mum, sadly.

things is teenagers in general are selfish wee so and so s and if your of a mind to behave badly and have an enabler well many teens will take that over responsible parenting. dont write her off she may eventually see that s she s more a pawn in his twisted game (hope so) it ll be hellish for your mum ( and the rest of the fam) to see

jxx
 
you can t change peoples behaviour and he won t give to hoots about the detrimental effect his actions are having on your sister. it ll all be about sticking it to your mum, sadly.

things is teenagers in general are selfish wee so and so s and if your of a mind to behave badly and have an enabler well many teens will take that over responsible parenting. dont write her off she may eventually see that s she s more a pawn in his twisted game (hope so) it ll be hellish for your mum ( and the rest of the fam) to see

jxx

Yeah, just have to keep reminding myself to let her make her own mistakes as hard as that is.
 
Enough with the depressing stuff....lets find a better topic!! Nic said I have been grumpy/unhappy for the past week so I need some cheering up of the cheap and non-food based variety!

I would consider baking for my flat mates but they both have a slight wheat intolerance so I can't even try out my new pasta machine I got for Christmas and now will not use for AGES! I have everything I need to make home made sausage and cranberry rolls (YUMMY) ...bbbbuuutttt....I don't think I could avoid eating them myself as they are amazing, and the sausage meat won't defrost in time anyway.

What else can I do? Retail therapy I guess...but between sizes so don't want to get clothes yet and there isn't much else I want...except to play on the PS3 but as we have just moved in I don't want to hog the TV so soon.

Just feeling kind of restless....in a rut waiting for travelling to begin!! Planning on moving the date forward again to June :p 6 months to go!!!!

THINK!!!
 
We are off to see the new Hobbit this evening with our new flat mates and they proposed we have a meal before hand if it was permitted on our diet. I said that we could still join them as long as they don't mind us watching them eat but at that point my very helpful wife jumped in with "but if you went to Nandos I'm sure we could have food there, just plain chicken". DOH!!! I really don't feel strong enough yet to handle a meal out wathcing people when I am the only one not having food. Nic has already said she will be eating chicken but I really don't want to :-( I am only on day 3 and put in a difficult food situation. I really can't be doing with people who are super fit and I am kind of waiting for that thing that all men do: you should do more exercise and eat sensibly; Your body shouldn't be having so few calories, it's not good for you; blah; blah; blah. I don't want to have to justify myself, and rather than standing together with a nice but firm "no" they will be wanting to know why Nic's eating and I am not.
 
So I took a bar with my to meet Nic (a few hours before the meal where I didn't want to eat) so started with good intentions but then I discovered Nic had only had one product all day so I forced her to have it instead. This means by the time it got to meal time I did cave and have some chicken (on it's own but still...). Not amazingly pleased with that outcome.

Today is the first day I had my breakfast on the way to work (at about 7:45) rather than when I get to work (around 9ish) and already feeling hungry! Though it could just be that I am not in ketosis yet (I don't check and just assume 3-4 days). Add to that the fact we are going to give SS a try rather than SS+ and that means I need to have lunch around 1/2 so I can eat dinner around 6/7/8 and have them spaced out...boooo!! We have switched to having two Cambridge products a day and one Slim & Save "meal" so looking forward to trying things like cheesy pasta :)
 
Also wanted to mention that I am wearing a pair of 16 trousers to work this week!! And the new coat I bought yesterday in the Debenhams blue cross sale was a size 14 (and reduced by 60% to £27.50)!!!!!!! That's really crazy. Size 22/24 -> a 14 top and 16 bottom is awesome! The trousers I am wearing today I wore to a wedding over 5 years ago and they haven't fit since.

And the hoodie I bought from H&M yesterday is a men's small (womens version would have been a medium but it was too short for my liking!)
 
Woo! Go Fay! That's awesome, so happy for you! Look at the positives at least you only had chicken :) could have been a lot worse! Well done :)
 
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