Cheekychinchilla's food and stuff

hello

cheekychinchilla said:
Hey Tetris!

The dogs are sick with kennel cough thanks to the "lovely" kennels I got Pinta from. Both very poorly, but Dave more so. I'm glad one of my vets took pity on us and agreed to treat Dave. You don't normally treat kennel cough and he really should have been seen!! But better all round this way. He is getting a bit better. It's a horrible illness tho!

I can't even really explain what's going on with me at the moment. I've definitely had a bit of a crash mental health wise. It's horrible! I feel like a different person. I'm so irritable and snappy and, well, horrible!! But I just can't stop it!!
The eating is really getting me down too. It's definitely at binge eating level as well :( Just feels like everything is f*cked up and completely out of my control. Which I know it isn't and I could do things!! So frustrating isn't it?!!

My eating's been a little better today and I even refused cake/biscuits at Costa :) So that's good!! Every little victory at the moment!
The rest of this week is going to be super busy and food heavy so I'm not even going to try and fight that. BUT next week I have a "clear" week until Friday, as far as I can tell. So I am going to try my damned hardest to be 100% on plan until then. 4 days isn't that hard is it?!! We'll see. But I really am going to try!xx
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Hello, I'm new but I've read all your diaries from the beginning and you've been very inspirational so thank you x

G xx
 
Just try and manage one thing at a time hun... Cant imagine trying to deal with illness flaring up and diet and grieving and sick pups :( *hug*
Xmas soon to give you something to be cheery about :D I cant bloody wait!
X
 
Hey guys!

Thanks Tetris dude. I have to say that I really don't enjoy the run up to Christmas. Just feels like constant stress and dread and it makes me anxious. Work doesn't help either as we always see the worst this time of year. Ho ho ho.....

Well, I am just about to finish my first 100% SW day in ages :D Had 3 Hex's, 12 syns, and plenty of superfree! Excellent! Really pleased :)
I got weighed in work as well and I've maybe gained another lb, which isn't bad considering what I've been eating. Not bad at all!! In fact, a bloody miracle!! And I feel good for it too. Nice to have a little bit of control.

The anxiety and depression stuff is getting worse and worse tho. The night time anxiety is just getting ridiculous now, enough that I am seeing things like spiders crawling towards or across me and men/monsters in the corner of my room, and all sorts of crazy things. I remember being like this when I was about 9 and me & my friends discovered supernatural things and had a "Monster Club". I'm not 9 years old!! Why am I seeing things and being so scared at night that I can't sleep?! I really feel like I'm losing it at the moment.
And obviously it's having a huge effect on my ME, which is just messing everything up. And I'm just exhausted, all the time!! I need some serious time off, to myself, and not having to do things. But, when is that likely to happen?! :(
Sorry, ranting now. I'm just so tired and feel so horrible all the time.

Pinta seems to be pretty much rid of her kennel cough. But Dave's has come back a bit since he's finished his meds. So will have to keep an eye on that. Pinta has also finished her season - thank the Gods!!!
I've been emailing my old friend/dog trainer about Pinta and the issues we're having outside. We're hoping it's a case of her being a bit confused and very frustrated at the whole situation - kennels, 2 new homes, being on house arrest, being ill, short lead walks, etc... I really hope it is that and things will start improving as the situation changes. It is a bit worrying tho! But we shall see.
We're coming along well with training tho and she seems very quick and clever. Collie brains for you!! Clever, but mental ;)

Anyway, I had better get myself ready for bed. Just wanted to share the 100% day with y'all :D xx
 
Yayy to the 100% day - and to only a small gain. You must be balancing the calories in/calories out pretty well!

I don't particularly care for the build up to Christmas either - there just seems to be so much pressure. As always, I'm taking the lazy way out with internet shopping and, this year, the minimum of present shopping - not, I hasten to add, because I'm feeling all Scrooge-ish, but because most people I buy for would prefer money. I'll get some stocking fillers for DD and fiancé and little somethings for my nieces and their little ones. Biggest headache is ruby wedding gift for big sis in early January followed by her 60th birthday in February - I haven't the faintest what to get!

Bed is supposed to be a sanctuary so I can't begin to imagine how awful the night terrors must be. I really hope the problem goes away quickly so you get some proper rest.

Good to know that Pinta is improving and hope poor Dave does too. Good luck with the doggie training.
 
I think I've broken myself today lol!
I was in work this morning. In kennels as well! But it wasn't so bad and I was with a nice nurse and it wasn't manic. Nearly every dog we had in was a "care" tho, so that was fun!!
After work I went to Sainsbury's because I seriously needed some petrol and some SW bits and pieces. But their clothes are 25% off at the moment so I bought a load of socks I need for prezzies :D And, erm, maybe a jumper with a bunny on ;) A size 12 as well!! It's probably a bit more snug than I'd normally like, but the 14 looked silly. Odd coz I bought a reindeer jumper (I know!) in Tesco last week and had to get a 16. Bloody clothes sizes!! I've decided Sainsbury's obviously have it right :whistle:

And then I bought a load of little Christmas chocolates that were on offer. You know like the nets of chocolate shapes and Malteser Reindeers and Cadbury's Snowmen? Handy to chuck in with prezzies. My work friends are getting socks and chocolates ;)
I saved quite a bit of money with all the offers. Made up! And the jumper.... :D

When I got home I made my lunch and then decided to take the dogs out. Pinta first before it got dark, she's even more of a weirdo in the dark! This was the longest walk we've done so far - about 35mins/1.5miles. We only saw one person with dogs and she did bark at them, but less than she has been. She was VERY quick to click on that I had treats in my pocket tho ;) Handy having a food oriented dog when you're training tho.
I made her walk right next to people, past a building site, along a couple of busy main roads, new places, etc.... And the only thing she really spazzed out at were the other dogs. So sort of good!! We did a little jog back to the house and she was SO funny! I wanted to see what she would do and she plodded next to me, then the noise of my coat made her jump, then she was bouncing round in front of me trying to kill me :p Fun tho and she didn't pull me over, so that's good too. I'll stop rambling now ;)

Me and Dave had a nice chilled walk in an almost dark park, no drama's or anything. I saw a fox twice, but Dave was oblivious! He's a terrible dog LOL!

Got home and cleaned the bunnies, emptied the bins, and did the dishes.

Then time for a shower and now OUCH!!!! OMG so much pain!! Hmmmm.... Ooops! Had some extra painkillers and I'll take an extra amitryptaline tonight. Taking Pinta in to work tomorrow to finally re-start her vaccinations. I'm only in for 3 hours and I'm in kennels, so seems like a perfect time to take her in.
Dave's cough is a little better today. He seems to be coping better if I give him 3 smaller doses of the cough medicine, rather than just two. Hopefully it's in it's way out now :)

Another good food day so far as well. Will update that in a bit. But making ratatouille for tea :)

Patty I'm glad you agree on the Xmas thing. It just feels so stressful and un-fun and just bluerg now. I used to LOVE Christmas!!

Good luck on your big gift purchases!! I already know what I'm getting Rachelle and John when they finally get married ;) So that's sorted lol.xx
 
So tired again!! Although I think I slept a bit better last night. I did wake up a fair few times, but not quite as much!
I left for work super early because I had Pinta with me and I wanted it to be calm and stress free. Took me 45mins to get there!! I live 4 miles away. Usually takes me about 15mins. Couldn't believe it!! Absolute mayhem on the roads.
Pinta was fine though. She's amazing in the car. Just lies down. Occasionally looks out the window! She was good in work too. Very nervous and anxious, but well behaved and coped really well with all the attention and getting her vaccinations. Only barked a few times while she was in her kennel too. I did feed her some fresh chicken ;)
I decided to reward her with a walk in an actual park (an illegal move seen as she's not covered by vaccinations yet!!) I have spare Flexi leads in the car so gave her a go on one of them and we kept as far away from everyone as possible. She was really good on the lead. Lots of galloping round and exploring, but only pulled me when she saw a bird, squirrel, or a dog! She did bark at every animal she saw :rolleyes: We were only out for 20mins, but she had a good run and seemed to really enjoy it. She doesn't appear to have any "manners"!!

When I got home I swapped dogs and drove Dave up to a different park. It's dog central this park, so not anxious dog friendly!! Dave loves it tho ;) It's very pretty too. So he's knackered now as well from being out and meeting a lot of doggies. Even a Dalmation :D

I de-poo'd the garden when I got home. Found an empty plant pot that Pinta had managed to perfectly poop in. Good aim ;)

I was supposed to be seeing my friend today but I'm so tired I could cry. This afternoon is my only time "off" this week until Sunday. I need some at-home time!! The next few days are going to be very busy. *sigh*

So all's I plan now is a nice shower and making my tea. Yup :) Food on plan again today so far and I got weighed and have lost just over 1lb :D Get in!! xx
 
What a great start! Sticking to plan and all the walkies are having a positive result - brilliant!

It sounds as though Pinta is settling down nicely and is doing well coping with strange situations. I'm sure she'll soon learn her manners - she's an intelligent collie afterall! - and stop 'remarking' about all the wild life she meets.

Love the bunny sweater - it looks so cozy!
 
Sorry not been around much, hopefully I'll be here more often.
Well done on getting back on the SW wagon, sounds like you're doing quite well :D
It also sounds like Pinta is settling in well and is making improvements.
Sorry to hear you're still struggling with your health and depression, Christmas is an awful time of year of you're not feeling yourself, it's full of memories and everyone is either stressed or giddy neither of which is not good if you're not in the mood.
Hope your evening had been good and you've had time to relax x x

Sent from my D6503 using MiniMins.com mobile app
 
Hey everyone!
Sorry for going MIA. I'm alright, just having a really bad time depression wise :( Fed up of feeling so rubbish!

I had my first occupational therapy appointment on Thursday - bloody 9:30am, that's ironic for someone with ME ;) The lady was really nice and she congratulated me on how well I'd done by myself and was really pleased how far I've come. She is also concerned about my current mental state and the "hallucinations" and stuff. What can I do though?! Apparently a very common symptom of ME is vivid nightmares, which explains why they have gotten so much worse since last year. Doesn't help me like!!

That afternoon I went in to town and had brunch by myself - eeep! - and met Tim and Caz a bit later to do some shopping and go to Starbucks. Then picked Mum up from work and went to Aldi and Costa lol. That was a looooooong day! Definitely suffered for it, from that night as well, payback didn't take its time to appear.

Friday was supposed to be a big friend get together at Tim & Caz's, but everyone except me cancelled! I had to go to the retail park by theirs to get a delivery for Mum and I got a few bits and then headed to their house for pizza, Christmas nibbles, and a film.

Saturday evening was my work's Christmas meal. I felt so miserable I almost didn't go. If I hadn't of paid in advance I might have cancelled :eek: I'd planned a nice outfit with my new bunny jumper, but I felt so horrible about myself I decided on a too-big floaty top to cover up. I really didn't make much effort though and felt massively under-dressed, but I just couldn't find the enthusiasm for it. Luckily I got a lift there and back from a work friend and we left right after the meal because I didn't want to go in to town for drinks and stuff.
I felt so horrible and down about myself though and I just felt so fat and meh :( I really need to lose some weight. I feel so uncomfortable all the time and don't fit in to any of my nice clothes. I can't even wear my waist-nipper at the moment because (believe it or not) because it's too tight and causes horrible fat rolls at the back of my arm pits. So I can't even use that to smooth things out. It's that bad :(

Anyway, will try and stop moaning. I've had a few days sort of off plan, but with some on plan meals, if that makes sense? Trying very hard to have a 100% day today and keep some control over my eating. Having felt so miserable yesterday about the way I look and feel will hopefully help me make better food choices and stick to plan a bit more. It's so bloody difficult though isn't it?! I remember SW being easy for me! Not any more it seems.

Hope everyone has had a nice weekend.xx
 
((Hugs)). Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a terrible time for losing weight as there's so much temptation around and sometimes it's near impossible to stick to plan. You have more problems than most and to do all you do do when you've got a bad 'dose' of ME is a major achievement.

I know what you mean about feeling bad about your weight; I've certainly had that problem and know only too well the feeling of utter helplessness when your brain and mouth refuse to co-operate. Just stick with being on plan as much as you can and try not to be too hard on yourself when you can't. And yes, I know it's a lot easier said than done.
 
Thanks Patty :)

I just feel really hopeless at the moment and can't seem to find any good in anything. It's such a horrible feeling to be so down all the time. I just want to stay in bed and stay away from the world.
I'm barely even finding the energy to do work with Pinta and she really needs to be worked with. But on top of everything else it just seems like too much.
I did do a hide & seek session with them both before - hiding treats around the living room under plastic cups :)

I hate being this weight again and not fitting in to clothes and feeling horrible all the time. It's destroyed what little self confidence I had :( I don't want anyone looking at me.

Indeed it is easier said than done. But we have to try don't we?x
 
Like pay said, don't be so hard on yourself, you need to remember that you have a lot more to contend with than most people and nearly everyone is struggling at the moment. All you see everywhere is Christmas food and it's party season.
Just stick to it when you can and be kind to yourself when you can't. Just get yourself feeling better and then worry about SW x x x

Sent from my D6503 using MiniMins.com mobile app
 
Todays food.
Lots of superfree, 1 HexA, 2 HexB's, and 12 syns :) Actually only 7 syns because I just didn't want anything else :)
Will start doing my food again and I think I'll count this week's syns from today too. I have nothing planned that should mess up this week, but you never know eh?! Each day as it comes and all that.

Lunch:
2 free Linda M sausages
Chopped tomatoes with mushrooms and spinach
Wholemeal toast (HexB1)
Brown sauce (1)

Tea:
Home made ratatouille - chopped tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, peppers, courgette, broccoli, and spinach
Quorn pieces
Wholemeal pasta
Cheese (HexA1)

Snack:
3 advent calendar chocs (3)
1 Hotel Chocolat choc (3)
Chewy Delight (HexB2)

Drinks: Coffee. Coke Zero. Diet Lemonade. Squash.

Syns used: 7
Syns saved: 8
 
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I know what you two mean, but if I don't pay attention to my food then I will have no clothes I can wear. Everything I own is a size 12/14 and I'm seriously pushing the limits of what I have. Even my looser, more flattering stuff. I can't not be hard on myself over SW.
And some of what I am feeling at the moment is definitely directly related to food/my weight so I really can't ignore it :(

I really do know what you mean and I'd be saying exactly the same to someone else. But it's getting worse and worse and I can't keep letting myself "off" with it. But yes, not going over the top, just doing the best I can on days I can. Definitely the way forward for the rest of Dec!

Thank you lovely ladies.xx
 
Monday food.

Morning break at work:
Shape 0%

Lunch:
BIG jacket spud
2 Quorn fillets with hot sauce
Shallots, mushrooms, and spinach
Cottage cheese
Cheese (half HexA1)
Salad
Quite a bit of dressing (0.5)

Tea:
2 Quorn Turk'y burgers
Spicy roasted veg - shallots, peppers, courgette, and cherry tomatoes
Low fat Supernoodles
A wholemeal bun (HexB1)
Cheese (HexA2)
Extra light mayo, tomato sauce, and mustard (1.5)

Snack:
Chewy Delight (HexB2)
2 Advent calender chocs (2)

Drinks: Coffee. Diet Coke. Options made with a bit of Oatly and water (rest of HexA1 + 2)

Syns used: 6
Syns saved: 17

Exercise:
4hrs at work.
Big bunny clean
35mins/1.6miles walking with Pinta - in the rain!!!
35mins/1.5miles with Davey - not raining then, which is handy seen as he's 'delicate'.
 
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In case anyone was wondering. I've not been posting my walk maps for a while because a forum mod messaged me to say it might not be a good idea considering this is an open forum and most of my walks start and finish at my house. Fair enough! I'm generally not bothered about stuff like that, but worth being cautious. So I'll still post the odd one from places away from home and new places and stuff. But yeah, if I start and finish at mine or someone elses house then I guess it makes sense to be careful.

Knackered now!
Got like 4hrs sleep last night and I'm on earlies too. I remembered very early this morning that I was on milk duty this week at work - which drives me INSANE seen as I don't use milk in work and don't even use cows milk myself! But, anyway, so had to divert to The Co-Op this morning to get a good few pints. So annoying! AND I forgot to ask for a receipt. Balls!!

Anyway, work wasn't too bad really. Was mostly relaxed, jut one absolute crazy that I had to speak to on the phone and then I was in on the consult too. But, still, not bad :)

Decided the dogs REALLY needed walking so braved the weather to take them on a decent walk each. I'm not supposed to be walking Pinta in dog heavy area's but, well I'm being naughty and throwing caution to the wind. She has some immunity now and has also been a stray so..... Of course I'd be telling everyone off for this ;) If she were a puppy it'd be different. Anyway, I put her on a Flexi so she could have a bit of a run when we got to the parks. She only properly pulled me once when she got overly enthusiastic about a bird. She did bark at a dog and a man. But not as badly as she has been. I'm trying to be a "confident and authoritative" walker to show that she doesn't need to be anxious or on guard. She had a good run round anyway and went absolutely mental when we got back. Racing round and chasing Dave and generally going YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
Davey's walk was less rainy, which was nice seen as he's still a bit coughy, and it was just nice and relaxed. Walked 1.5miles with each dog and a grand total of 1hr10mins!! Absolutely knackered now.
Have had a nice hot shower with Lush's Hot Toddy and I'll be having a nice on plan tea soon :D
 
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