Christiana's "persistence not perfection" food diary

Well done on your loss - that's brill!
 
Friday, 18th March 2011: **Green day**

Breakfast
1 Lemon + 1 orange choc hi-fi bars (2 x HEXb)

Lunch
Boiled plantain
Boiled eggs
Couscous made with stock and fried in frylight with mushrooms, red onion and petit pois


Dinner
Leftover couscous
Boiled potatoes
Quorn sausages


Snacks
Kit Kat chunky (13 syns)
Mr. Tom peanut bar (10½ syns)


Drinks
250ml SS milk for tea (HEXa)
Diet cola with almond


Syns
23½ // 65½ left
 
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Saturday, 19th March 2011: **EE day**

Breakfast
1 orange choc hi-fi bar (HEXb)

Lunch
Boiled plantain
Boiled eggs
Broccoli, cauliflower and carrots
Baked beans


Dinner
Boiled potatoes
Couscous made with stock and chilli powder
Roasted chicken drumsticks
Carrots, sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli and petit pois


Snacks
2 Lemon + 1 choc orange hi-fi bars (17 syns)

Drinks
250ml SS milk for tea (HEXa)
Diet cola with almond


Syns
17 // 48 left
 
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hey sorry to interupt but how do i do that goal thing and also how do i get a weight ticker onto here x any ideads x:)

Hiya Kittykat,

If you click on 'User CP' and look for 'Update your details', you can modify what shows up on the left hand side when you post (underneath your profile name and avatar. As for the tickers, I guess you can do a search for 'tickerfactory'...it's the only one I know of. Hope that helps.
 
Sunday, 20th March 2011: **EE day**

Breakfast
2 Lemon hi-fi bars (HEXb + 5½ syns)

Lunch
Rice with stew (7 syns)
Chicken with skin (3 syns)
Carrots, sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli and petit pois


Dinner
Leftovers from lunch

Snacks
None

Drinks
250ml SS milk for tea (HEXa)
Diet cola with almond


Syns
15½ // 32½ left
 
Monday, 21st March 2011: **Green day**

Breakfast
2 Slices of thick white bread (10 syns)
1 Tbsp of Clover lighter (3½ syns)
Baked beans
Boiled eggs


Lunch
Couscous made with stock, chilli powder, mushroom and onion
Boiled potatoes
Quorn sausages
Boiled eggs


Dinner
Leftovers from lunch

Snacks
2 Lemon hi-fi bars (2 x HEXb)

Drinks
250ml SS milk for tea (HEXa)
Diet cola with almond


Syns
13½ // 19½ left
 
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Tuesday, 22nd March 2011: **EE day**

Breakfast
2 Slices of thick white bread (10 syns)
1 Tbsp of Clover lighter (3½ syns)
Boiled eggs


Lunch
Couscous made with stock, chilli powder, Boiled rice
Broccoli, carrots, sprouts and cauliflower
Mackerel sauce


Dinner
Leftovers from lunch
Couscous with mushroom and onion


Snacks
28g Ready Brek + 1 Sesame Ryvita (HEXb)
I was supposed to have my Ryvita later, but totally forgot about it! Ah well, it's after midnight now :(


Drinks
250ml SS milk for tea/Ready Brek (HEXa)
Diet cola with almond


Syns
13½ // 6 left
 
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food diary is looking great xxx
 
Awwww thanks Autumnflower and Curvalicious!
 
I am in a rant-y mood. I've had workmen in my home since Monday (21st) refurbishing my bathroom. On Monday they stayed from 9am till 9.30pm :eek: and we didn't have access to the toilet for like 6 hours. Fair enough, they were working and put everything back before they left.

Yesterday, however, the guy who laid the flooring (which wasn't supposed to happen until after the walls were painted) dismantled the toilet and sink and then DISAPPEARED for 5 hours! :mad:

So, not only was I desperate to use the loo by then, they made me late for class! In the end, I had to call my dad to drive to mine and stay till the guy decided to reappear...at 7.30pm! :mad:

Got to class about 10 minutes before IT ended, further delayed by the fact I desperately needed to use the loo at class :sigh:
...so had to use the manual scales, which from previous experience HATES me. Sure enough, it showed a GAIN OF 5½lbs. At this point I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I've just looked over the week's food diary and for the life of me don't know what happened. I did eat before class, but I did that last week too, no problems. I actually gained more than I did on my self-imposed week off. :cry:

And, this gain broke my 3st loss. I am now at 2st 12½lbs.

My Consultant wanted to speak to me after class, but I just left. I didn't know what I was going to say to him. This is the only place I do a food diary, so I didn't have one to hand to show him. Plus I was just sooooooo mad!

I really don't know how I'm going to get through today. I feel like I'm going backwards instead of forwards. I had hoped that I'd be well on my way to achieving 100lbs lost - I was aiming for that amount by the middle of June, which makes it a year since I started. Someone who weighs as much as me should not be at 2st 12½lbs after NINE MONTHS!! :mad: :eek: :cry: :confused:

Total losses to date = 79lbs
Total gains to date = 42½lbs
Total POTENTIAL loss = 121½lbs (i.e. if I never gained)
Total POTENTIAL AVERAGE loss = 83lbs (actual + gains)
Actual loss = 40½lbs

I HAVE OFFICIALLY GAINED MORE THAN I HAVE ACTUALLY LOST. :(
I HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST LESS THAN WHAT I ENDED 2010 WITH. :(

I woke up this morning to discover that my sink had been leaking ALL NIGHT because they hadn't reconnected it properly :confused: thus soaking the BRAND NEW FLOOR that shouldn't have been there in the first place...:mad:

And....the tilers have just arrived. Before the plumbers. My head is going to explode with rage.

ETA: I'm taking the day. Back on for tomorrow. :(
 
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awh, that sounds awful honey! Workmen in the house is never good and it sounds like your having a right time with it. *hugs*

I'm sure it was just the scales, I bet next week it will show an AMAZING loss! And don't get down about 'averages' and all that, just think of how far you have come, and how heavy you possibly could be if you hadn't have started SW!

I hope everything gets better for you soon xxxxx
 
Friday, 25th March 2011: **EE day**

Breakfast
28g Bran Flakes + 1 Ryvita Sesame (HEXb)
½ a tsp of lemon shred marmalade


Lunch
Boiled plantain
Boiled eggs
Tinned spaghetti


Dinner
Bovril roasties
Roasted onions
Skinless chicken drumsticks seasoned with salt, paprika, black + white pepper and chupped garlic, then roasted
Broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and sprouts
9 Tbsp of gravy (2½ syns)


Snacks
2 Lemon hi-fi bars (11 syns)

Drinks
250ml SS milk for tea/Bran Flakes (HEXa)
Diet cola with almond


Syns
13½ // 91½ left

Thanks Autumnflower, Surreygal, Curvalicious and Sarah. :hug99:
 
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Ahh sounds like you are having an awful time of it :hug99:what a nightmare with all the workmen.Keep focused hun,look at how well you have done,don't be hard on yourself.I hope it all settles down for you.Stay strong.big hugs xx
 
I'm sure the scales were wrong, and you'll be rewarded next week, but you really need to look at how much you've lost overall which is a huge amount! Even if you have had ups and downs you've still done really well so concentrate on that.
Hope your house probs get sorted soon xx
 
To be honest, I'm not much better today. I suppose it's a good thing I don't have any money and I have no temptations at home, because I am definitely in a "sod it all" mood. I've pretty much had this page open all day, trying to re-motivate myself by reading and re-reading food diaries and articles. Nothing's helping for the moment. I feel very defeated. I spent my life this heavy and it's going to take the rest of it to get it off.

My initial goal of 100lbs is small to me, knowing that I ultimately wanted to lose approximately 303½lbs. I'd remind myself that I'd probably need 3-4 years to get it all off. I'm mostly upset concerning the statistics because, here I am, really trying this time, and almost one year in, I've only managed what I consider a drop in the ocean. I feel like I still haven't even got started.

My doctor gave me a year - a year to prove that I could make a substantial dent in my weight, and he'd stop bugging me about gastric bypass. I'm having an evaluation in June and I already know it's not going to be good. They refused me surgery on my leg already, and that was back in December when I'd reached 3st. The surgeon blatently told me it's not enough. I know it's down to anaesthetic issues etc. due to my weight.

The only that kept me going was that I knew, being extra heavy meant bigger losses in the first year at least, and while I knew I'd never be at target by then, I was hoping to much closer to it than I am now. I've done everything I can do at the size I am right now. I still have leg problems, so exercise is an issue.

I feel like the only person on this site that started at over 400lbs...and is still 400lbs+ 9 months later. ColJack, LovelyLaura, Capricorn, Surreygal, Piink etc. = excellent first year weight losses all on their way or surpassed 100lbs already, so I know where I'm supposed to be. Even if I followed the 2lbs a week thing, it'd still be 104lbs over the course of a year.

If I continue at the rate I'm going, I won't be at target for another 6 years (I'm averaging 4½lbs a month, which I do not consider substantial enough for someone of my size), which is great, if you don't want to have more kids or get surgery to repair LDS in both legs. Not to mention my stats indicate I have merely lost and gained the same 3st in almost 3 rotations, effectively making me a yoyo-er...and is frankly quite scary.

I am honest enough with myself to know when I'm eating badly, I'm to blame. But when I've had a good week, I'm floored at watching the scales say I've gorged 19,250 extra calories! I've thought on it a lot, and I'm giving myself until September. If I cannot sustain my weight losses until then, I have no choice but to opt for a bypass. I am terrified of surgery, but I'd rather do that then feel this way every other week for another year and more.

I love SW, and the EE plan is not hard for me, it's my favourite. I enjoy my food, and it really doesnt feel like I'm dieting. I am not a fruit/yogurt person, but I love the heck out my veggies and I honestly don't miss the extra HEX's most days. But I cannot carry on losing 4 and gaining 5+. The worst part is whenever I have a gain like this, I know my Consultant wants to believe what I'm saying, but I can tell he's probably thinking I lived on McDonald's for the entire week. Simply saying "I don't know what's happened" isn't good enough. He'd probably just hand me yet another SAS sheet, because I've said it before. I mean, the plan works, right? If you follow it, it works? Yep. "You're obviously not following it."

I really don't know what else I can do. I've cut out pasta, reduced my portions; I eat when I'm hungry and I try to stick to my syns. I make a point of going to class most weeks, even though I don't have that much money because I stay to class and really want it all off. I changed so much and expected as much in return. I don't weigh myself at home and I'm not on any medications.

Everything upsets me now. I can't even watch the biggest loser anymore, they're all doing way better than I am, go figure. I take my book everywhere, and for a while I was sure I was doing something wrong. I know it's not supposed to be easy, but this is just making me want to revert. In total, I've had 23 weeks of losses and only 12 weeks of gains - which is a testament to how big the gains are, since they surpass the loss amounts.

I don't know. I mean, I'll be following it for now, but it's a catch-22. I don't want to give up, but I figure I may as well have been eating crap all this time. The infuriating thing is if I did do that, I probably would have gained 100lbs easily. I haven't even gone down a full clothes size. I'm in a stupid in-between-y place that means I still have to wear my old clothes. It also means no one has even hinted at my weight loss, because I look exactly the same. My doc would never have believed me if I hadn't shown him my book. Real life = not very motivating.

So I don't tell many people I'm on SW and have been for almost a year. They'd just look at me like I'm high, because they'd say to themselves what I have on repeat in my head:

"Shouldn't you have lost more by now?"

I don't even know if I can blame the manual scales. I know weight fluctuates from minute to minute and machine to machine. Either way, if I'd lost, it'd show a loss, no?

Thanks for your words of encouragement though, it really means a lot. Sometimes I find myself wishing really really hard, that I could go back in time to when I maybe had 5 or 10st to lose. Then, maybe a 2 or 3st loss wouldn't seem so bad. But out of 21st 9½lbs? I feel like if 21st 9½lbs was the statue of liberty, 2st 12lbs is like 1/1000th of her toenail. :sigh:
 
Christiana i just popped on here just before getting the children ready for a bath and i've been floored i really understand where you are coming from and how you feel. What i will say though is thatn im happy you have decided to continue with SW. Have you thought about alternating with EE and red?I find red days hard simply because im not that much of a meat eater but when i plan for them i find i get a greater loss. Also having more superfree? Im also thinking that because the scales were different your real weight loss was not revealed so pleeese hun stick it out. You are doing great. please look at it this way, if you were not doing sw you would have been about 6 stones heavier, i lie? I know i would have. There are days when i look in the mirror and think look at my bum that's going to take years to shape up and it's such thought that have made me fail at sw bfore. Please hun just stick it out as you plan to and see how it goes im sure you'll do great. Also try drinking more water, (lok whose talking). i honestly want you to know that your diary motivates me and has given me so many ideas so you are on the right track just give it more time. Please tell your consultant no more damn manual scales lol.

im so sorry just realised i've written an essay
 
Saturday, 26th March 2011: **EE day**

Breakfast
None

Lunch/Brunch
Baked plantain
Boiled eggs
2 Tesco light choices cumberland sausages (2 syns)
Broccoli, carrots, cauliflower and sprouts
Tinned spaghetti


Dinner (pics below)
Baked plantain
Couscous made with stock
Roasted chicken drumsticks
Broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, petit pois and sprouts


Snacks
9 Swizzels Matlow chewy sweets (18 syns)
28g Bran Flakes + 1 Ryvita sesame (HEXb) with ½ tsp of lemon shred marmalade


Drinks
250ml SS milk for tea/Bran Flakes (HEXa)
Diet cola with almond


Syns
20 // 71½ left

It's just not my week. Workmen were here on Thursday, arriving 1 hour late (10am) and stayed just an hour. I broached the issue of my leaky sink and one of the guys assured me he'd be back 'later this afternoon' to sort it as he 'didn't have the tools'....What kind of workman turns up to a job without tools????? Needless to say, they did not return, and we spent another night with a leaky sink.

Yesterday, the tilers were back. They did an excellent job on the tiles. Unfortunately, the floor - as in the brand new floor that shouldn't have been there - is covered in specks of white plaster and grout, which I'm not ever sure will come out. Nice. He was even kind enough to stain my new toilet seat with muddy foot prints.

After all that, last NIGHT one of the guys informs me that even though this was meant to be a weekday only job, they'll be there today AND Sunday to catch up on all the stuff they didn't do when they had a chance. So here I sit, my water turned off and no access to my bathroom for the last hour and a half. Again.

I have to work tonight, so I shouldn't even be awake right now. I'm suffering from cabin fever, these damn workmen are keeping me prisoner...I have only left the house once briefly, and that was on Wednesday. Aaaargh, I'm tired and cranky. And still low. :sigh:

ETA: They've gone! Not coming back till Monday! I'm taking a nap!
 

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