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Sapphireblue
Full Member
Hey hun, i know someone outside the relationship can never really tell what's going on, but i've read your hubby stuff a few times and thought that he sounds like a complete uncaring b******d, but didn't like to say. 
I would definitely go see someone about your depression, which is probably not helping. But even taking that into account, it sounds like your marriage is in a serious slump. And it doesn't sound to me like you're over-reacting.
Have you considered taking some time apart, maybe staying with family? It may give you some time to think through everything and also see if being away from his negativity will lift your mood?
Whatever you do, i hope you can find someone 'real' to talk to about all this, whether it is a doctor or a friend.
Big hugs.x
I would definitely go see someone about your depression, which is probably not helping. But even taking that into account, it sounds like your marriage is in a serious slump. And it doesn't sound to me like you're over-reacting.
Have you considered taking some time apart, maybe staying with family? It may give you some time to think through everything and also see if being away from his negativity will lift your mood?
Whatever you do, i hope you can find someone 'real' to talk to about all this, whether it is a doctor or a friend.
Big hugs.x
great things
Gold Member
i'm due to start my anti- d's again when the antibiotics are over. might start them now as they need 2 weeks to kick in. this is the 4th time. i think that this is going to be for life! i can't see how i can ever come off them as when i do i get depressed again. i've been off them since august!
i think he sees things differently! the things he does wind me up! we could talk about things in a different way. he blames our diets as he's on one (of his own design) for our short tempers. he's suggested that when we argue that we start messaging each other on FB as then we can see what's said and you usually are more diplomatic! or text each other. thing is this time the argument was about a rug and it's the daft things not anything major that we are arguing about!
we do both love each other. it's just that i suppose we're going through a really hard time and i don't think that he does really understand depression at all!
i'm feeling very low with my depression right now. i talked to a friend last night and said that i feel that if i had to draw a picture it would be of a big black hole that's sucking me in and every time i wriggle free someone pushes me back and i go further into that hole!
i think my biggest thing is that my hubby does not understand my depression at all. he's said he's been depressed before but one person saying they're depressed sometimes it's just a low in your life in the general bumpy path of life. he's never been on medication for it or needed counselling or even been sucidal.
i have taken pills in the past due to depression. before the kids came along and before we were married. i popped quite a few strong ones (not paracets) but it just made me feel sick and ill and throw up. hubby stopped me and threw out the pills at that point in time and went ballistic with me.
i feel right now that all i need is to be held and cuddled. i feel like a need to be in a very safe place! i just don't feel i'm very safe i feel very vunerable so i'm building walls cause i don't want any hurt!
i never got PND after dude, which was lucky, as i did after emily and the only relief was exercise! i'm not exercising as much as i'd like. i need to get out running like i used to. i'm going to start when i'm over being ill!
i think he sees things differently! the things he does wind me up! we could talk about things in a different way. he blames our diets as he's on one (of his own design) for our short tempers. he's suggested that when we argue that we start messaging each other on FB as then we can see what's said and you usually are more diplomatic! or text each other. thing is this time the argument was about a rug and it's the daft things not anything major that we are arguing about!
we do both love each other. it's just that i suppose we're going through a really hard time and i don't think that he does really understand depression at all!
i'm feeling very low with my depression right now. i talked to a friend last night and said that i feel that if i had to draw a picture it would be of a big black hole that's sucking me in and every time i wriggle free someone pushes me back and i go further into that hole!
i think my biggest thing is that my hubby does not understand my depression at all. he's said he's been depressed before but one person saying they're depressed sometimes it's just a low in your life in the general bumpy path of life. he's never been on medication for it or needed counselling or even been sucidal.
i have taken pills in the past due to depression. before the kids came along and before we were married. i popped quite a few strong ones (not paracets) but it just made me feel sick and ill and throw up. hubby stopped me and threw out the pills at that point in time and went ballistic with me.
i feel right now that all i need is to be held and cuddled. i feel like a need to be in a very safe place! i just don't feel i'm very safe i feel very vunerable so i'm building walls cause i don't want any hurt!
i never got PND after dude, which was lucky, as i did after emily and the only relief was exercise! i'm not exercising as much as i'd like. i need to get out running like i used to. i'm going to start when i'm over being ill!
cornishkez
Gold Member
Hey nikki, hope you are feeling more like yourself and things around you are more positive. Did you have a nice mothers day?
I wanted to pick your brains....am back on weight watchers. Last week the first week i lost 6lbs, went swimming once and did one 2 mile walk. This week I have gained so far 2lbs, and Ive been in the gym every day. Burnt between 400-600kcals each day. Plus have been riding more, more walking with the dogs...generally have gone out of my way to be active. Eating between 1400-2000 kcals a day....whats going on?
I wanted to pick your brains....am back on weight watchers. Last week the first week i lost 6lbs, went swimming once and did one 2 mile walk. This week I have gained so far 2lbs, and Ive been in the gym every day. Burnt between 400-600kcals each day. Plus have been riding more, more walking with the dogs...generally have gone out of my way to be active. Eating between 1400-2000 kcals a day....whats going on?
great things
Gold Member
your body is re-adjusting to eating carbs. you're carbing up with ww so will gain. however, it won't be too important as it will most likely be water. when we eat carbs our fat cells swell with water again!
if you eat 1500 cals a day you're undereating by around 500 (normal) cals.
if you exercise and burn cals there (depends on what you do and the machines are not massively accurate) then you should loose weight and tone up.
just remember that no matter what speed you go at 1 mile is 101 cals. it doesn't matter if you run that mile in 9 mins or walk that mile in 15 mins. it will still be 101 cals.
if you eat 1500 cals a day you're undereating by around 500 (normal) cals.
if you exercise and burn cals there (depends on what you do and the machines are not massively accurate) then you should loose weight and tone up.
just remember that no matter what speed you go at 1 mile is 101 cals. it doesn't matter if you run that mile in 9 mins or walk that mile in 15 mins. it will still be 101 cals.
cornishkez
Gold Member
thanks niki, i actually gained 11lbs 3 weeks ago on my re-feed. The gym is all new to me so I am just trying to do as much cardio as I can. Ive got a polar watch, so use that...I just aim to keep my bpm above 135?!
Do you think I could be not eating enough? Any ideas how far below your mbr you can go before you go into starvation?
Hope you are feeling better?
Do you think I could be not eating enough? Any ideas how far below your mbr you can go before you go into starvation?
Hope you are feeling better?
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
It'll take a little while for your body to get used to exercise Ker, right now it'll be hanging onto every bit it can because it thinks something major is happening, once it realises that yes it's still getting fed and this new level of exercise is the norm you'll start losing again! Like Nikki said it probably water weight not real fat.
How're you feeling Nikki? Have you made any decisions about your anti ds? I'd start taking them ASAP if it was me. If that's what it takes to make your life easier then that's what you need to do!! Hope things are looking up for you x
How're you feeling Nikki? Have you made any decisions about your anti ds? I'd start taking them ASAP if it was me. If that's what it takes to make your life easier then that's what you need to do!! Hope things are looking up for you x
great things
Gold Member
just replied to you PM kerry.
on day 4 of taking them surf. another 10 days and i should be feeling loads better.
going to go and get some counselling too.
on day 4 of taking them surf. another 10 days and i should be feeling loads better.
going to go and get some counselling too.
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
Argh cross, wrote a big long reply and it's lost anyway the gist of it was Counselling seems like a brilliant idea. Talking things through with someone who is unbiased and balanced can only help. It'll also help you to get things out of your head.
I've been thinking about getting some sort of counselling to deal with my food issues, because like it or not I have them still. I've been reading Pauline Quirke's book about her experiences in LL. She said for the most part the counselling that LL offer is a bit much but in reality is has helped her to deal with her food problems. I'm not interested in group therapy sessions, I don't want to air my innermosts to the public but I think one to one sessions would be so very helpful for me. I just don't know where to go to find one with weight related experience.
I hope you find it helpful, let me know how you find it. Hope the next week or so flies by so you feel better.
anyway the gist of it was Counselling seems like a brilliant idea. Talking things through with someone who is unbiased and balanced can only help. It'll also help you to get things out of your head. I've been thinking about getting some sort of counselling to deal with my food issues, because like it or not I have them still. I've been reading Pauline Quirke's book about her experiences in LL. She said for the most part the counselling that LL offer is a bit much but in reality is has helped her to deal with her food problems. I'm not interested in group therapy sessions, I don't want to air my innermosts to the public but I think one to one sessions would be so very helpful for me. I just don't know where to go to find one with weight related experience.
I hope you find it helpful, let me know how you find it. Hope the next week or so flies by so you feel better.
