CLUCKS
Full Member
Hi
Grab your water bottle, pack or bacl/tea coffee.... We could be here a while.................
I've been posting here since Oct 06 but haven't really made any personal contributions to the site, other than a thread I started in Nov regarding binge/compulsive eating - which is really how I ended up so overweight in the first place
... Is an incredibly taboo subject - even still, anorexics are given sympathy & support, as a alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers & smokers - yet overeaters are scorned & made to feel inadequate, greedy and often useless beings. I remeber my husband once saying... "there is no need for anyone at all to be overweight, the answer is simple - just eat less & excercise more. Coming from a man who at 6ft 2" has always weighed approx 13.5 st - aint what you wanna hear !
After all if addiction was that simple there'd be no bloody addicts anywhere. My argument was and still is - the facts are this your body does not need illegal drugs, nicotine, to gamble or to smoke - HOWEVER you must feed it therefore everyday you are faced with your addiction and made to walk away from it!
I have always been sympathetic to overweight people - one of my best friends has been between 15 & 19 st ALL her adult life. I have been over 14st and as little as 9st 11lb (the result of eating cottage cheese, living on diet pills & puking) - but none the less my demons have always been there. Safely hidden away so that no one really knows....
I arrived at the VLCD scene at the end of Sept - I was 14st 2lb and in 2001 was 9st 11lbs.... My weight had stablised at approx 10st7lb but not for long. I kept eating, then dieting putting on taking off but never quite as much as I'd put on.
So I embarked on the programme, was doing really well but became the slowest loser in the group. Feeling frustrated I carried on BUT was already having crooked thoughts, at this time I'd obviously not learnt (& still havent) to not listen to the devil on my left shoulder. I got so sick of turning up, listening to the bastards giggling at what they'd eaten then hearing that they'd lost 4-7lb a week! Sorry but thats how I felt.
I changed groups but to be hones the damage had already been done - I used the excuse that I was near to my 100 days, I'd lost 2st 7 or 8lbs & I was going to eat in Dec as I was going away, numerous work functions & family functions to attend which meant that I wanted to re-start in Jan. I put on 8lbs over this period from end of Nov but when I think about what passed my lips I'm lucky it wasn't closer to 2st (I made myself sick plenty of times to make more room) . Don't get me wrong I'm not proud & boasting - I'm mortified that food has this sort of control in my life. When packs are present there is control & that is what I need.
Anyhow - my LLC has welcomed me back, though I only started Mon my weigh in is tomorrow so I'm hoping to have either stayed the same or lost 2lbs - I ate again over the weekend to ease my nicotine withdrawls (ooops & drank white wine & choc mint baileys)....
Well I just wanted to introduce myself properly really - now you know the REAL me!!!!
I will tell you all about my bingeing habits in another installment - or you'll all be snoozing....
Thanks for reading
Luv Clare xxx
Grab your water bottle, pack or bacl/tea coffee.... We could be here a while.................
I've been posting here since Oct 06 but haven't really made any personal contributions to the site, other than a thread I started in Nov regarding binge/compulsive eating - which is really how I ended up so overweight in the first place
... Is an incredibly taboo subject - even still, anorexics are given sympathy & support, as a alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers & smokers - yet overeaters are scorned & made to feel inadequate, greedy and often useless beings. I remeber my husband once saying... "there is no need for anyone at all to be overweight, the answer is simple - just eat less & excercise more. Coming from a man who at 6ft 2" has always weighed approx 13.5 st - aint what you wanna hear !After all if addiction was that simple there'd be no bloody addicts anywhere. My argument was and still is - the facts are this your body does not need illegal drugs, nicotine, to gamble or to smoke - HOWEVER you must feed it therefore everyday you are faced with your addiction and made to walk away from it!
I have always been sympathetic to overweight people - one of my best friends has been between 15 & 19 st ALL her adult life. I have been over 14st and as little as 9st 11lb (the result of eating cottage cheese, living on diet pills & puking) - but none the less my demons have always been there. Safely hidden away so that no one really knows....
I arrived at the VLCD scene at the end of Sept - I was 14st 2lb and in 2001 was 9st 11lbs.... My weight had stablised at approx 10st7lb but not for long. I kept eating, then dieting putting on taking off but never quite as much as I'd put on.
So I embarked on the programme, was doing really well but became the slowest loser in the group. Feeling frustrated I carried on BUT was already having crooked thoughts, at this time I'd obviously not learnt (& still havent) to not listen to the devil on my left shoulder. I got so sick of turning up, listening to the bastards giggling at what they'd eaten then hearing that they'd lost 4-7lb a week! Sorry but thats how I felt.
I changed groups but to be hones the damage had already been done - I used the excuse that I was near to my 100 days, I'd lost 2st 7 or 8lbs & I was going to eat in Dec as I was going away, numerous work functions & family functions to attend which meant that I wanted to re-start in Jan. I put on 8lbs over this period from end of Nov but when I think about what passed my lips I'm lucky it wasn't closer to 2st (I made myself sick plenty of times to make more room)
. Don't get me wrong I'm not proud & boasting - I'm mortified that food has this sort of control in my life. When packs are present there is control & that is what I need. Anyhow - my LLC has welcomed me back, though I only started Mon my weigh in is tomorrow so I'm hoping to have either stayed the same or lost 2lbs - I ate again over the weekend to ease my nicotine withdrawls (ooops & drank white wine & choc mint baileys)....
Well I just wanted to introduce myself properly really - now you know the REAL me!!!!
I will tell you all about my bingeing habits in another installment - or you'll all be snoozing....
Thanks for reading
Luv Clare xxx
