Competitive partner?

[anna_vixen]

Hi guys,

I'm in a newish relationship and Im just getting back on to slimming world this past week as coincidentally I've had 4 lots of tonsillitis in the last 3 months, so I'm now back on track however, my other half wants to lose some weight too so I explained the plan to him, and we're both on point but I feel he is being really competitive, he's not using any syns and I used some of mine on chocolate last night and although he didnt say anything there was 'the look', it's great that we can support eachother through this journey but it feels like a competition he's never done sw before so he's lost about 5lb this week and I've lost about 3, and he's already said I'm losing more weight than you etc. does anyone else feel like they're in competition with their other half?

Thanks
Anna

 

[woodmouse]

Hi Anna!

I'm not in a position to answer your end question, but want to point out that your partner is probably on a euphoric beginner's 'high', especially with his first week's loss, and he may burn out pretty quickly. If you consider just how far you have managed to come from your own start weight, you should have confidence in your own experience to carry on in the way you know works for you, and perhaps manage to detach a little from what seems a competitive situation and look on his attitude with a bit of fond indulgence - after all, if he does burn out sooner or later, that's when the true support begins! And when were men never competitive? Anyway, best of luck and try not to let it get you down

[And from what I remember, not having any syns at all is not recommended, and it may tell further down the line]

 

[AnnaFaraday]

From one Anna to another!!

Men lose weight faster than women. They don't deserve it and it's unfair, but a fact of life.

So the fact that he is losing faster than you is just a quirk of nature and not something he can claim any superiority for!

And don't forget that he can't be in competition with you if you decide not to be in competition with him! It takes two.

Do your own thing, at your own pace, ignore the looks, just say "yes dear" to any comments.

 

[emma_88]

Don't let him get you down, you're doing well and don't let him make you feel anything less. Just go at your pace and don't rise to his 'looks' etc.

Losing weight is not a race, he will soon realise that.

 

[anna_vixen]

Thanks so much for all your support guys, what you've all said makes so much sense! Has definitely given me some perspective! Chin up ?

 

[AnnaFaraday]

Thanks so much for all your support guys, what you've all said makes so much sense! Has definitely given me some perspective! Chin up ?

Good for you!!

 

[Oceanspirit]

Hi Anna vixen

You've had some really great advice here - I could do with taking it myself!

A few years ago I did LighterLife and the support groups I went to were generally all female. We had a man come along a couple of times who was feted for his astonishing weight loss and everyone wanted his tips. I really had to bite my tongue to not say "We've all been abstinent. You've lost more than us simply because of biology, not because you're some kind of superhuman"!