JanD
maintaining since June'09
Hello people .... I don't expect any responses .... I don't even expect anyone to read this really, I think I'm thinking of writing it down as a kind of therapy.....
I lost a great friend (43 yrs standing!!) last week :cry: and it's her funeral on Monday (2nd) This is feeling like a huge cloud hanging over me and a massive hurdle which I somehow have to find the werewithall (sp?) to cross and I'm doubting my ability to do it without breaking down which won't do.
I have to be strong for her husband and her children whilst all the time (selfishly and unreasonably I admit) I want to shout "I knew her longer than you did!!!!"
Getting through the days before this ordeal we went shopping to Liverpool today. In a bookshop there I saw an elderly gentleman looking at a drawing/painting book....... I suddenly saw my father doing exactly that and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I went all dizzy and I could hardly breathe!
Dad died 17 months ago and there has been loads of times and things that have reminded me of him - of course there has - but usually it just makes me think of him with affection and a tinge of sadness ...
This time I had the whole scenario of him getting the bus into town, having a good mooch around, finding one or two 'bargains', a little something for mum and then going home to her. Them spending a nice Saturday evening together, both dozing in their chairs in their easy companionship.
Now he's gone .... we miss him so much :sigh:
All this from a glimpse of a stranger looking at a book in a shop ......
If you've taken the time to read this I apologise for being so maudlin' ... I just felt the need to share it .... and it's helped me .... so thank you :wave_cry: xx
I lost a great friend (43 yrs standing!!) last week :cry: and it's her funeral on Monday (2nd) This is feeling like a huge cloud hanging over me and a massive hurdle which I somehow have to find the werewithall (sp?) to cross and I'm doubting my ability to do it without breaking down which won't do.
I have to be strong for her husband and her children whilst all the time (selfishly and unreasonably I admit) I want to shout "I knew her longer than you did!!!!"
Getting through the days before this ordeal we went shopping to Liverpool today. In a bookshop there I saw an elderly gentleman looking at a drawing/painting book....... I suddenly saw my father doing exactly that and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I went all dizzy and I could hardly breathe!
Dad died 17 months ago and there has been loads of times and things that have reminded me of him - of course there has - but usually it just makes me think of him with affection and a tinge of sadness ...
This time I had the whole scenario of him getting the bus into town, having a good mooch around, finding one or two 'bargains', a little something for mum and then going home to her. Them spending a nice Saturday evening together, both dozing in their chairs in their easy companionship.
Now he's gone .... we miss him so much :sigh:
All this from a glimpse of a stranger looking at a book in a shop ......
If you've taken the time to read this I apologise for being so maudlin' ... I just felt the need to share it .... and it's helped me .... so thank you :wave_cry: xx