Crazy life of Chilli

urgh

well today I missed a call from the loan company at around 0930 as I was asleep. They called again around 11 and I woke up just as they rang off. They asked for another document so I had to phone another company to get it emailed and sent it to them. That actually only took half an hour, so then I tried to go back to sleep and the doorbell rang with a delivery for my daughter - she's not supposed to buy things when she knows I'm on nights, she has 8 in the middle when I'm not working to order anything. So by that point I gave up and got up.

Picked son up from school, headed straight to nearby town for our click and collect then home, fed them pizza (I had keto naan pizza) then the loan people phoned and went through a long call about life insurance.

I still don't know if I have the loan or not :rolleyes:

because I've been tired I've been eating things, it's probably the worst eating day I've had since I started this. I've eaten some ok things like keto naan pizza and nuts. A few strawberries and cream, But I've also had a cream egg! and some vegetable 'crisps' which actually are still pretty high carb. I've eaten more than I should have and some of the wrong things but having said that STILL less than I would have a few months ago.

Tonight is going to be a tough night on only 2-3 hrs sleep today, and I think we're short staffed again. Then tomorrow I'll need to leave my phone volume up in an effort not to miss any calls.

I've been trying to stay super positive today and 'manifest' the loan. By pretending in my mind that I have it, but it's hard not to let doubt creep in. However I did then find £20 I didn't know I had in the car...

I'm going to try and claw back my eating but I'd not be surprised if I have a gain this week. I may even skip the scales as it seems to take a few days to settle once I return to night sleeping. Maybe. I'll see.
 
I do that too, when I really want something, like a new contract, I imagine getting a call with someone saying "You've got the job!" - but I never know if I got it because i was going to get it anyway, or because of the imagineering! (don't you just hate that word) :D :D.

And blimey re the loan, they are really making you jump through a load of hoops - hopefully this is it now though, and I think you've got it, why else would they be using their time on all the other stuff like life insurance.
 
I had a security call with the loan people to confirm and clarify all the information and for them to make a final decision at around 1pm, by 3pm I had the formal offer and paperwork to sign! I can barely believe it.

I've spent the past 2.5 years scrimping and having to put off repairs, buying budget materials for necessary things, walking in shoes that hurt because I can't afford to buy the right ones for my wonky feet. Putting off getting the dog spayed because I just couldn't foresee having the money, having to budget for every last thing. Hoping against all sense that the microwave would last a few more months (seriously it smokes and sparks if you try to melt butter/oil/chocolate) Worrying that I wouldn't be able to keep the car... Now I know I can start to save a bit of a back up fund, relax a bit over our weekly shopping, treat the kids a little, buy fabric to make new clothes, fix the ridiculous list of repairs needing done among others in an extremely long list of things I simply haven't had the money for.

I'm so relieved and grateful. I know that I've been lucky even through the struggle that I have only had to wait, never lost the car or struggled to feed my kids etc, but it's still been hard. I still can't quite believe it!

I'm going to make our house, garden and life wonderful for me and my children.

Food, well... lets not talk about that. This weeks been silly - but still, as I keep saying I've not overdone it in the ways I would have years ago. I still see it as wins, just not the ones I was planning.

2 more nightshifts though, then a break, and my usual recommitment to my plan I hope.
 
Ah Chilli that's absolutely wonderful news, love - now you can relax and not let money rule your entire life!

So chuffed for you - think first thing might be replacing that dodgy microwave! xx
 
What a relief! I am so glad for you.
 
Thanks all. Yes its a huge relief and knowing I can keep my car is a big deal, I don't necessarily need it most of the time, but my family are 65 miles away and my Dad's psrkinsons is very progressive, I'm really looking forward to the freedom to visit more often. I'm waiting for them to have their 2nd vaccine.

Well it was a busy busy day, after I took son to school I went to post the mortgage documents, so hopefully things won't take long. I can hardly wait to see my bank account without an overdraft, its been a long time 🤣.

Then I slept a bit, once I got up had to tidy and clear space then heave the old sofa outside. My friend came in the evening with the chests of drawers and the freebie sofa.

Its ridiculously low as its missing its feet, however... now its basically an experiment sofa. As it's cost nothing. I will replace it with a new one in a few months now I know I can afford it, but Our old one was an old leather piece, and my dog is a pest. I want a fabric sofa but I'm not sure if she will rip it. So testing her out on a freebie is fine. I could buy feet but I don't see much point, daughter wants it in her room once we upgrade.

Definitely the first thing to replace is the microwave! I'm not going to be silly though, clearing my feet I'd like to build some savings. So I'll be doing a few repairs/replacement/upgrades every month but making sure I am also saving. I've not had savings for years.

Last night at work... tomorrow I'm going to throw myself properly back in to my eating plans.
 
I'm thinking about using YNAB to sort out my budgeting. It's like running one's own layaway for known and planned future expenses.
 
well a few days of ground level sofa have annoyed me to the point I've ordered legs for it, they were only £15 from amazon. I plan to keep it for a few months anyway and daughter will get the benefit of it once she claims it.

I've not heard of that budgeting thing @AliGal but I'm a bit hesitant of something that asks you to spend money to save money if you see what I mean. Theres a lot of budgeting advice online for free, but if you think you can save more than the app costs then I guess it might be worth it.

What I did and it's helped me a lot to get by the past 2 years is I have made up a spreadsheet with all my fixed incomes and bills, and added the lowest usual incomes on pay dates etc. It's helped me to project ahead to knowing what I will have and when. So even putting off ordering a weekly shop sometimes a few days would mean making it through another month.

I'm going to continue with it now, because although I know I'm going to have a sudden financial freedom (they've said Monday or Tuesday) I don't want to just spend ruthlessly. I want to make it count. I guess I've learned not to squander and waste money, but at the same time I'll allow a few treats as well. I still can't really believe it, it's going to make such a difference to us.

The other thing I've done is I already have several bank accounts so I've labelled them all differently. One is the bill paying account, one is for food shopping, one for saving for any gift giving, holidays and any treats like take aways, one for my daughters driving fund and finally - the household repair account. I did say I was a geek...

Anyways, food wise I'm back on track, I made a nice pot of soup yesterday, with onion, chilli, garlic, squash, carrot, cauliflower, butterbeans and lentils. Probably not especially low carb but super healthy. I had it with the last of my low carb 'krisprolls' I made. It was yummy, loads left too. I do like the krisprolls but not as much as I love the keto naans so I'll probably focus on batch cooking the naans rather than making the rolls although I might still make a batch now and then.

My scales yesterday had me at 0.5lb up, but I'm just going with a sts :D shhh don't tell anyone.

But given that it's the worst week I've had in the past couple months for eating badly I don't think a 0.5lb gain is too bad. We'll see what Friday brings when it comes around again, with hopefully a better week. I'm going to have a few days of eating properly on my plan again, then I'll attempt a 36 hour fast as I had in mind before, probably tues/weds but not sure yet.

I bought a huge pork joint by accident, didn't realise how big it was going to be. I'm going to shove it in the slow cooker probably with sweet chilli sauce and just see what comes off it. Pulled sweet chilli pork maybe? might do a quick google first. I need to get that on soon actually. I'll probably try to get a batch of naans made later too. or I'll have nothing to have with it!

I've rearranged the furniture in my craft room to what I expect is it's final destination for a while. I have disposed of an old bookcase that belonged to my husband that he didn't want when he moved out. When I say disposed of, I mean I burned it last night in my chiminea :) and as he thoroughly annoyed me yesterday over a completely inappropriate, unnecessary and quite frankly nasty conversation he had with my daughter around money that she is getting, I found burning something of his quite cathartic lol.

What an awful, awful man he has turned in too. Or perhaps he always was. In any case I'm saddened at the gradual loss of any bond in particular between him and my daughter, his ongoing bitterness and selfishness is gradually burning his bridges with her, and although I have attempted to point out to him in the past what he is doing I have learned not to bother, although I did send a message yesterday outlining the criteria for the benefit she is receiving, and suggesting if he has any further questions to contact me, it is inappropriate for him to discuss finances with her.

I really don't understand where it all comes from. He has the life he wanted, he left, he is living with another woman, flash new expensive car. They are both high earners and only have the inconvenience of children one or two nights per week. He chose this, all of it. I chose none of it, but I'm at the point of being extremely grateful for it! He is not a person I would ever choose again to have in my life and my only regret is that I will need to have an ongoing tolerance for my sons sake. Daughter can choose to see him or not on her own terms at her age, but son has a long time to go yet where I will still need to be involved. Otherwise I'd be quite happy to never see or hear of him again.

Right I best get this slow cooker on the go, back in a bit!
 
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Oh Chilli I hope you don't mind me saying but you are so better off without such a vindictive and malicious person in your life! I can see no reason for why he is behaving like that, except to just be plain out and out nasty, without a thought for how it might be affecting a young person - who is his child. I wonder if it's completely misplaced/twisted guilt manifesting itself in some bizarre way...but in any case none of you need it, and I think you sound completely sane about it all. I'd be googling "hitmen" by now!!

That sweet chilli pork sounds lovely - I always like pulled pork but can never be bothered to make it lol. A friend in Italy makes a gorgeous BBQ flavoured one - but it's a bit far to go for lunch LOL.

Glad you decided to go for the feet for the sofa - when I put the raisers on my very low antique bed, it was a truly wonderful moment (my sad life) when i realised that I no longer needed a hoist to get out of bed LOL.

Have a great day love - lots of good things are happening for you and I couldn't be more pleased xx
 
♥️ thank you @ladyfelsham, yes he is not the man I thought he was when I met him 12 years ago, if nothing else that much is clear and I absolutely am better off without him, on all levels. I'm disappointed for my kids.

I edited my last post (sorry) because I felt I overshared for the internet. I was obviously needing to spill and have a rant. I've left in enough that people will have the jist of what's gone on!

All I can do is build a life as happy and safe as possible for them with me.

My sofa legs arrived but I didn't realise there were different sizes of threads used and I ordered the wrong size :rolleyes: So have had to re-order and I will send these ones back. So maybe tomorrow I will be able to get up without practically rolling from the couch haha.

I've been a bit lazy off and on. The pulled pork was yummy, but the naan's are not yet made. I had some cauli hash browns with mine though so all was not lost, and I had some dark choc. That's me done with eating now until tomorrow.

I've spent much of the day pottering around organising bits and pieces in my craft room :) its getting there. I quite like doing that sort of thing slowly, taking a bit of time to decide where things should really be rather than firing them away and perhaps then deciding to change it again.

Having said that, my adhd tendencies means I'm always changing something lol.
 
Who knew - sofas have different leg threads? Every day is a school day!

I am glad you are moving on even if for the boy's sake you have to remain in contact.
 
Sofa feet are far too complicated for my liking, and as I was an engineer for years it really shouldn't be 🤣.

Anyways today I've eaten soup, some nuts, chicken curry and some rice. The latter not ideal but I only had a small amount because I STILL haven't made the naans. My execution of plans is terrible 🤣.

I've chilled the day away, done some laundry and changed my bedding, chatted online to friends.
 
I got mine from Amazon (can't post links in here any more, shame that), 2 sets of 4 high and short - brilliant!

Utopia Bedding 8 Piece Premium Adjustable Furniture Risers (4 High and 4 Short)​

 
I'm sure I've posted links before, is that new?

I searched your words for the risers, they won't work as there are no feet at all, the bottom of the sofa is completely flat. so would slip off those.

The set I have with the wrong size has screw in sections you can screw to the base to make them fit so I'll have a go at it maybe tomorrow. I should be able to make them work.
 
I managed to get the feet on. It isn't perfect but it'll do. Seems to be working out ok, and now that's us had this sofa a good few days and the dog hasn't eaten it so that bodes well :roofles:

So this morning scales showed me 0.5 down, inching forwards slowly as usual. Hopefully I can get 1lb or more by friday.

I haven't eaten much really today, I did something that hurt someones feelings and felt quite off about it most of the day. It was really a minor thing and not intentional and looking back I really feel they over reacted, but such is life. We all must live, learn and move on from mistakes big or small. I do my best to do the right things in life but I'm only human, I take things to heart when they go wrong. This won't have any long or life changing effects though and will hopefully be all forgotten about soon enough.

I had a handful of nuts, and a portion of bolognese with mixed root fries.

My mortgage should complete tomorrow, they were in touch today to confirm it was going through the payment processes late pm.

There really is always a way, sometimes with effort and sometimes by surprise, sometimes just a bit of patience.
 
my mortgage is complete, the funds all sent but they say it could take 3 days to process in all the places. So I can't see it visibly yet on the screens off accounts but I am officially now debt free other than my mortgage. :woohoo: hard to believe even a few weeks ago I didn't think this would be possible!

I'll have a small initial splurge of things long waited for then I'll be careful and start methodically working through one or two repairs/upgrades/replacements in the house every month. To try and do everything needed done here would cost too much all at once and be exhausting. I think I can aim to have the house fully in great order with all our things fixed etc in a year. That's the target I'm going to set myself. Perhaps alternate a small thing one month with a bigger thing the next to preserve energy levels. There is really so much to do, perhaps it will stretch to 2 years if I include the work needed in the garden, but as with my weight loss I look at things with a longer term view typically. Perhaps it's best to make no targets and genuinely just do my best. I'm just very grateful that I will now be in a position to begin.

I've been for a wee dog walk, poor things been getting short walks only trying to recover my feet. Decent new walking boots will be one of my first new splurges. Rainy and windy here today.

Haven't eaten anything yet I have portions of soup, chicken curry, pulled pork and bolognese all in freezer to choose from tho as well as eggs and all the usual stuff. I'm deliberately cooking more than we need for dinners so I can stock freezer. Tuna pasta for the kids tonight though, I'll probably have tuna with chunks of cheese and a boiled egg. maybe. Or I might have something else. I dunno. Haven't considered a longer fast yet this week, I may wait until after my next run of nights. The past few weeks have just felt like too much going on. I'll see, there is still time yet as I'm not on until friday night.

Well I best go get some stuff done, I'll be back later to update what I have eaten.
 
ChilliQueen said:
I managed to get the feet on. It isn't perfect but it'll do. Seems to be working out ok, and now that's us had this sofa a good few days and the dog hasn't eaten it so that bodes well :roofles:

I do my best to do the right things in life but I'm only human, I take things to heart when they go wrong.
Click to expand...

Great news about the sofa still being in one piece - I'm the same with the cats, would love an armchair for one corner of the parlour - but will they completely shred it to pieces with their claws 20 seconds after it's installed? :D.

And big hugs on the upset feelings - gosh you sound just like me, I really take things to heart too and worry and feel sick about what I think is the impact on someone of something I've done - when half the time they aren't even bothered. Deep breaths hun and put it to the back of your mind - as you say, it will all blow over quickly xxx


ChilliQueen said:
my mortgage is complete, the funds all sent but they say it could take 3 days to process in all the places. So I can't see it visibly yet on the screens off accounts but I am officially now debt free other than my mortgage. :woohoo: hard to believe even a few weeks ago I didn't think this would be possible!

I'll have a small initial splurge of things long waited for then I'll be careful and start methodically working through one or two repairs/upgrades/replacements in the house every month. To try and do everything needed done here would cost too much all at once and be exhausting. I think I can aim to have the house fully in great order with all our things fixed etc in a year. That's the target I'm going to set myself. Perhaps alternate a small thing one month with a bigger thing the next to preserve energy levels. There is really so much to do, perhaps it will stretch to 2 years if I include the work needed in the garden, but as with my weight loss I look at things with a longer term view typically. Perhaps it's best to make no targets and genuinely just do my best. I'm just very grateful that I will now be in a position to begin.
Click to expand...

WOOHOO!!!! This is really one of those times to run around your house whooping with joy :D :D. I am so made up for you hun - only bright sunny days ahead now.

Love the approach to the jobs - and I'd say don't rush them, savour the improvement every time you get a job done. I waited forever to get a garden bench and now it's here, I keep throwing it admiring glances LOL.
 
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