Crazy life of Chilli

ChilliQueen

Silver Member
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ChilliQueen

Silver Member
I love that dress so much I'm going to make another one lol.

Son was actually pretty good today, and we have managed our first post nightshift sleep without his sister as she is at work. He did waken me every 2 hours but was ok to just go get an apple etc and play and let me doze again. It was the best I could have expected from the resident 8 year old.

I was going to try and sort some stuff out, get a plan for these types of day, make son a packed lunch he could help himself to etc. However it isn't going to be a big deal. Tues and weds he's got club and I don't need to sleep as much on thurs as I finish thurs morning. then we're away next week. The following week I'm on 3 nights but son is at his Dads. The week after that he's back in normal school, and I plan to finish up in this job and start my new one at end of August, so really at most it's a handful of nights where I'll struggle the next day.

I'm really excited about making my changes :)

I'll probably not worry too much about weight now until our week away is over. My plan is to stay within 2 or 3 lb's, I'm not sure it's realistic to never gain at all. I'm still going to intermittent fast over the week away just by skipping breakfast. I'll do my best to avoid the worst carby foods but... ya know holidays are for enjoying.

(wanders off singing the lego movie theme tune...'everything is awesome...' 🎶🎵🎶🎵)
 

tipperary

Gold Member
S: 88.7kg C: 78.2kg G: 68kg BMI: 34.3 Loss: 10.5kg(11.86%)
That dress is fab and you look amazing in it. Where do you source your fabric from? Will you still be working in residential care with the agency or caring for clients in their own home?
 

ChilliQueen

Silver Member
thank you @tipperary I really love the dress, I bought that fabric from amazon or ebay, but I'm also fortunate to have a local independent fabric store and I buy a fair bit there too.

I've more planned but I'm running short of time!

Most of my work at new job with still be in care homes but I will be able to choose shifts in other environments if the timing suits me. They also cover childrens homes and care in the community type homes, people with learning support needs etc and I'm told if I want I can do training that will allow me to do shifts in those environments too, I've not decided but I may well do some of that.

I've been sleeping since son is at holiday club, woke up listening to the neighbours arguing with their kids in the garden, they're finding the holidays hard I think. made me count my blessings as I get on pretty well with my kids most of the time. I'm not judging them though as I had a really difficult time with my daughter when she was younger. I'm eternally grateful for learning about ADHD.

Anyhoo, I'm off to drink a cuppa and then I may try to get some fabric cut out before picking up son. Or I may just have a shower. Decisions decisions haha.
 

ChilliQueen

Silver Member
hello, still plodding along here. Last night at work tonight.

I've fallen into the sewist problem of thinking ok... running out of time, need a few things for hols, may just buy a couple things online... fill basket. Look at basket... pick flaws in everything... think- I could make that and the waist would fit right, or I could make that with longer sleeves etc. Empty basket. Commit to staying up all night thursday to make more stuff instead haha

I have decided that a future artist date will involve an uncharacteristic shopping trip. I hate shopping, I don't intend to buy anything, I have realised I'm not sure what suits me, I'm not always sure what my style is. I have evolved. I need to experiment and try loads of stuff on I'd not normally wear and decide what I like now, what I want to wear. Make up my own new style to suit this place in my journey.

I've been quite the tomboy most of the time, but inspired by my recent dress which I unexpectedly love so much, and I think a journey of body and feminine acceptance of self, I Think I want to have a more feminine wardrobe. I want more off shoulder stuff, more dresses, more floaty tops to still go with jeans (cos I do still love those lol) I no longer need to blend in and hide from the world. I'm ready to stroll out, draw attention and be seen - not that I was ever truly a shrinking violet, but still... It's time to be young (albeit I'm 45) and have my aliveness reflected in my clothing which is an outward projection of self isn't it? I want to wear red, and blue and purple. I want to be quirky and fun.

So I will try on loads of stuff, deciding what I like and what I don't, I will take pictures. Then I will come home... and sew them in my own way. Unique pieces for the unique woman I am finally embracing. She's waited a long time, I should have loved her long ago, but better late than never.

That my friends, is my philosophy for the day. Love yourself and never look back.
 

tipperary

Gold Member
S: 88.7kg C: 78.2kg G: 68kg BMI: 34.3 Loss: 10.5kg(11.86%)
That's a great philosophy and I know exactly what you mean by blending in. When I started this job I was at my heaviest ever and was embarrassed by my size and lack of appropriate work clothes that fit ( I had been working from home for 6 months so living in leggings or shorts ). So I was buying baggy non descript clothes to hide in. But then I realized they didn't know how fat I had become because they had never seen me before. So while I still wore baggy comfortable clothes they were very bright and colourful. Now I am happy to show an arm or a leg as I lose weight or even happy to wear a dress that shows I have a big belly rather than a tent to hide it, more of a "this is me " rather than a hid me away.. That dress suits your shape, I would think it would be great in bright reds and oranges, colours that I like. But it could also become quite a formal dress in a plain posh fabric.
 

ChilliQueen

Silver Member
well it's been a bit of a whirlwind here since my last night at work. Thursday I went to tesco and I did find a few garment I liked enough to buy/wear. A plain black Tshirt, a flowery off the shoulder top and another dress, so I was ALL set.

However by Thursday night I had the news that there is covid in my carehome. I can't explain all the details as we're not supposed to speak about it publicly, but turns out I had been exposed for all 5 of my shifts. I tested negative and after a long chat with health protection I was told I did not have to isolate, so we drove to England on Saturday as planned. I continued to use the rapid tests daily.

By Sunday things had progressed and they called again, and requested that I DO now isolate, until Friday, which meant no continuing on Monday to Glastonbury and basically I have to stay inside the whole holiday :rolleyes: but, at least we made it down to mother in laws, and at least I continue to test negative, so I'm grateful.

It's looking like I will lose the £400 for accomodation too, as they say I can choose other dates but they have no dates I can realistically use. We've just chilled at mother in laws house, not ideal but making the best of it. All those clothes I was in a rush to make and buy all to sit inside! But never mind, we should have some nice weather yet to wear them, and some can be used over winter with a shrug etc. I have also acquired a dress from my mother in law that doesn't fit her, so I now have 3 long dresses, and one short that I made last year and wear with leggings. This is the most dresses I've ever owned at one time lol.

I could be all grumpy and frustrated, but instead I'm choosing to feel fortunate that I appear to have avoided infection. That's worth everything surely? All I've lost is a bit of cash and a trip.

Anyway obviously I'm not making the best choices but I'm making better choices at least some of the time when we eat. We're not eating out obv, mix of home cooking and take aways. I'm not overly worried about what happens, We drive home on Friday, so I'll probably weigh in on Saturday and take it from there, whatever it happens to be.

I'm 1-2 sizes smaller this summer than I was last year and that was only starting this journey in Feb, so I'm sure by next summer I should be another 2 sizes down. I'll plod along and get there.

I did plan to make more dresses, but I'll choose other things now to make with the fabric that would suit autumn/winter, no point having more than 4 dresses in my wardrobe when by next year they probably won't fit.

Hope everyone else is doing ok x
 

tipperary

Gold Member
S: 88.7kg C: 78.2kg G: 68kg BMI: 34.3 Loss: 10.5kg(11.86%)
That's terrible news Chilli but as you say the most important thing is you are free from infection and continue to test clear. It's frustrating that it's on your holidays and that you have lost the cost of it but still it's better than the alternative.
 

AliGal

Eating Like A Bear plus!
S: 22st10.6lb C: 19st7.6lb G: 13st0lb BMI: 44.2 Loss: 3st3lb(14.12%)
I am so sorry your plans have been disrupted. And also glad you are testing negative. Congrats on being a size or two down.

Let your Arbnb host know you can't get back and ask the host if they'd be willing to refund if they can relet the property. They may agree.
 

ChilliQueen

Silver Member
I am so sorry your plans have been disrupted. And also glad you are testing negative. Congrats on being a size or two down.

Let your Arbnb host know you can't get back and ask the host if they'd be willing to refund if they can relet the property. They may agree.
It was ridiculously short notice, I was told to isolate on Sunday and was supposed to be there Monday. They've said I cant have a refund but can reschedule and to contact booking.com who I booked from. I have tried now messaging them 3 times with no reply from booking.com, and phoned twice only to be cut off 11 minutes into queuing. I doubt I will use booking.com again going on their lack of communication.

Ah well. I'll try phoning tomorrow, we'll be travelling home today
 

ChilliQueen

Silver Member
Well yesterday was a long ass drive! took 2 hours longer to get home than it did to travel down. Oh well we made it safe and saw an awesome rainbow too.

I washed my sofa covers last night and got them dried and back on before I went to get my dog back from kennels, she's clearly been bouncing around all week as she's a sleepy thing now lol. I'm looking forward to travelling more in my future, but there's no place like home is there? I'm so at ease here I realise. I love my home, my people and my pets.

I used some of my time isolated at mother in laws to help her get things done she's not managed. She's been in the house 2 years but suffers from fibro so has problems with pain and energy. In addition - she's a lot like me and doesn't really ask for help, and when she does there is only certain people she is comfortable helping her. Thankfully I'm one of the people she's comfortable with so last week saw a mirror being hung up, a wall quote sticker, some lights, 2 curtain poles and 2 pairs of curtains, a lampshade and a roller blind. I would have liked to have done more, but she was grateful to have those jobs done.

Although I was never able to get out, my daughter and sister in law (theres only 18 months between them) were able to get out and about and we had a BBQ in the garden too.

Kind of chilling today, and not really back on track but will be tomorrow. My son will be away at 5pm (until next Sunday) so I intend to get some stuff sorted and spend a couple of hours making stuff. (no more dresses lol)

I weighed in this morning, figured it was best to get it over with and I am 175lb's, so 3lb's up, which isn't too bad. I'm going to adjust my ticker and carry on from now rather than trying to catch up or worrying about it. I'm still 16lb's lighter than I was in feb so I'm happy. I've definitely eaten more stuff I shouldn't over the past week and I wasn't especially on track the week before either.

Son wants some scrambled egg so I'm off to cook his lunch.
 

AliGal

Eating Like A Bear plus!
S: 22st10.6lb C: 19st7.6lb G: 13st0lb BMI: 44.2 Loss: 3st3lb(14.12%)
Sounds like you really helped yr ma in law. It's nice being away and it's nice being home too!
 

ladybird777

Silver Member
S: 15st2lb C: 13st9lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 32.8 Loss: 1st7lb(9.91%)
Aww sorry your holiday was wrecked Chillie. I must be honest and say I am sick to the teeth of track and trace. Particulary that in England we don't have to isolate from 16th August if we are double jabbed anyway. Well done on only a minor gain tho.
 

ChilliQueen

Silver Member
thanks @ladybird777 but it wasn't wasted, I still saw the people who mattered and we still enjoyed the time. I was just grateful really to have stayed (and continue to) stay well!

I've not been back on track with food yet tho. I need to kick my own ass or I'll end up with more back on!

Today I plan to fit a stair gate to my craft room door. There are times I would prefer to shut my dog out (she steals fabric...) but I don't want the door closed on her, I like to see her and hear her incase she's up to something in the other room. It's really like having a toddler, except she'd walk for miles and sleeps a bit more lol. After the gate is on, I plan to tidy up the craft room, make a few little things and attempt to film a video - we'll see how that goes...

Today is Friday the 13th, and at 1300 hours I officially open my little handmade selling venture.

We laugh in the face of bad luck!

I haven't made nearly as much as I'd intended to, but it's important to begin, somewhere, slowly, anywhere...

my new job is still looking like about a month away, I'm going to phone and chase them up today. I guess I should be more pushy haha, I think I've got lost in their system. I know they processed one reference, and I got my new pvg, but I'd made an error with the email address for the 2nd reference, and I've had nothing back since I updated that.

On a positive note though, I've no care home shifts now until next saturday, and school goes back for us next week so I've most of the week to commit to handmade projects and painting.

Anyhoo, I'd best get stuff done. Have a nice day :)
 

AliGal

Eating Like A Bear plus!
S: 22st10.6lb C: 19st7.6lb G: 13st0lb BMI: 44.2 Loss: 3st3lb(14.12%)
Happy launch day!
 

tipperary

Gold Member
S: 88.7kg C: 78.2kg G: 68kg BMI: 34.3 Loss: 10.5kg(11.86%)
How did the launch go.
 

ChilliQueen

Silver Member
I put up an 11 minute video showing most of my bits and pieces

the camera adds how many lb's?!

I felt huge!

but I've had lots of positive messages and a good few orders to be going on with.

Braver by the day people, braver by the day. How many times in my past have I said I would do things later? when I've lost more weight? I even put off meeting up with old friends.

Well I'm done waiting. Thankfully I don't care what others think anymore so when I look at myself in the video I'm not feeling judged or exposed it's just my own judgement. I'll carry on with my journey here and hopefully feel better about myself in a while, but in the meantime I'm not waiting for anything. Time is too precious.

Still struggling to get back on track, but at least our schools go back next week!

(anyone yet to find me that wants to - look for dragonfly dreamseeker on social media :) )

I've not eaten anything yet today so that's all ok. No idea what I'll be having later, but I've mince that needs cooked and a butternut squash.
 

AliGal

Eating Like A Bear plus!
S: 22st10.6lb C: 19st7.6lb G: 13st0lb BMI: 44.2 Loss: 3st3lb(14.12%)
Congratulations. Great start.
 

ChilliQueen

Silver Member
well hello all, I guess after the hols and all the craziness with changing jobs and starting home business I've never really been back on the wagon yet.

I've fallen into that old trap of... I'll do it when THIS happens, or THAT happens...

In fairness it has been a bit crazy here of late, and my Dad was back in hospital so it's been all go. (he's ok)

Anyway. I've gained another 3lb's which means I'm back up to just under a stone lost. I'm not overly worried about that, but obviously I need to get back on track! It would be nice to move forwards and perhaps hit 2 stone by xmas? a bit ambitious? maybe but... reach for the moon and land in the stars they do say.

The home business is going well and I've completed all my training and am all set up and active on the new agency job system. I have one more run of 5 nightshifts (starting saturday) to complete in my current job then I'll be taking agency jobs the following week. So. Once that is happening I'm hoping to regain some better stability. As I'll only be working 1-2 nights in a row I'm hoping I will be better able to stay in control of my eating than I have been when I know I'm doing 5.

In the meantime I've been doing lots of planning around working on new habits and ways to stay focussed for my business as well as increasing my overall well being and health.

Monday and Tuesday are my main 'work from home' days, altho I do stuff other days as well. But on these 2 days I get up early at 6, I now have a kettle in my bedroom lol... such a tea geek. So I get up, make a cuppa and then sit in my bed in the quiet of the morning and do my 'morning pages' then I get up and dressed and take the dog out before the kids are up. By the time I'm back daughter is heading off to catch her train to work and it's time to get son up for school. By 0830 I've seen him across the road and he walks the rest of the way on his own and I'm home again ready to 'work' by 0835. I stop for breaks (like now) and a bit later I'll take the dog another 30 minute walk mid afternoon. work the rest of the day and pick son up by 6pm.

Mondays I have my meditation group at night, the rest of the week I try to do a home meditation of 20 mins daily. I don't always get it done but... I'm getting there.

the rest of the week I get up about 7, do morning pages, then walk the dog when son goes to school, or later - I'm more flexible those days. And will need to be as I will only know 3 weeks in advance which days I'm working, however monday and tuesday should be fairly stable as my son isn't ever at his Dad's those days. weekends I get up about 8 or 9 just depends. But trying to do morning pages, meditation and dog walk most days one way or another, and will try to fit in a half day 'artist date' time most weeks once I get settled in to my new ways of working.

It's ALL good :) and I'm totally happy with everything I'm doing.

Hope to catch up with everyone over this week as I know I need to be back here checking in!
 




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