Crazy life of Chilli

I still haven't mastered the art of sewing a zipper, mind you I have only tried about 3 times but it was enough to show me I didn't like it😅
 
Queen - just had a lovely read, catching up on your doings. Well done for getting the two person ikea builds done solo. You are inspiring and queenly!

Your job decisions make sense - and niice to have time soon to work more on your business.

Your post reminds me to restart flylady routines. They may help you help your boy keep his room clean. Systematic maintenance times and challenges, really. Edited to add a link http://www.flylady.net/d/gycw/flying-with-teenagers/
 
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There are many MANY many ways to sew zippers Tipperary, depends what you were doing. I sewed in 12 yesterday :eek: lol. But most of them were easy, you probably just need someone to show you, mind you I've learned heaps from youtube.

Thanks @AliGal I really feel I'm making the right choices and moving forwards with my plans. I've looked at flylady in the past and have adopted some of her ideas - sometimes I'll just do 15 minute bursts for example. I've not revisited in a while though and it may benefit me to look again, especially at the kids side as I didn't really in the past.

I wasn't up quite as early this morning, but I was up early enough to sit in my cabin with a cuppa and do my morning pages before getting my son up. When I was clearing the cabin out I found a blanket poncho type thing I'd forgotten I had, my mother in law gave it to me ages ago. It's great for sitting in the cabin when it's a bit cold still, or even in the house sometimes instead of putting the heating on lol.

I'm hoping to save a little this coming year as the past 18 months there has almost always been someone in the house. Covid meant the kids were home a lot and even after that my daughter had dropped subjects meaning she had so many free periods the house was almost never empty, so the heating has been on a bit more than usual. Now that schools are (hopefully) back to normal, during term time son will be at school and daughter will be at work. I'm planning obviously on working, but I'm wondering about just using an oil filled heater in the room I work in rather than heating the house all the time. And just wearing extra layers... Not that I'm struggling to pay the bills anymore but I still don't want to be wasteful.

I'm also hoping that once I have a more regular routine I can get to doing a regular meditation. Does it sound awful that I enjoy time in an empty house? I love my kids but their energies are 'busy' and they make mine busy too. I think it will likely be next week now that daughter starts her job.

I think my dog is in season which I think is just enough time for it to be over before our holidays on 31st, I'm hoping so as I don't know if the kennels will take her otherwise. Typical - chilly buys a new sofa - dog goes into season a week later lol. But one of the many reasons I bought one with washable covers. I'm not 100% sure tho. In any case she seems a but quieter and clingy so we'll see. I'm not going to walk her much over the next while until it's passed just little walkies. I need to call the vet anyway to catch up her vaccinations etc. I'll probably get her spayed after the holidays, I would have had her done younger but I just didn't have the cash.

So I'm off soon to call the vet and the kennels as I've not done either. Then I'll be back to the sewing and crafting Den. Son is being picked up by his Dad this afternoon from his holiday club so aside from maybe nipping to the vet I can be in my den from now until bedtime tonight and all day tomorrow until 8pm when he's due home. I plan to make the most of it.

I absent mindedly ate a piece of chicken making sons sandwiches this morning, but I read somewhere that anything less than 50 calories won't break a fast so I'm still saying I'm fasting. I dirty fast anyway as I have milk in my tea, but still it's 'cleaner' than my last fast as I'm not having sweetner in it. I had a random count earlier because I'm a geek... I was getting through a truvia pouch every 1-2 weeks. so even being generous and saying 1 pouch per fortnight is £6 a month approx just in sweetner for tea. £72 per year (being realistic probably fair to round it up to £100) just to sweeten my tea.

38 hours fasting now. Shouldn't be any problem making it through today, I plan to break my fast tomorrow evening at around 6pm, so around 70 hours of fasting if I can make it that far. I'd make it 72 but I don't want to have a big meal at 8pm after fasting, 6pm feels better.

Onwards and upwards!
 
well I didn't 100 % fast, I did have a couple of little cocktail sausages. Mindlessly, it's very silly but still I've not done too badly. I'm going to just call it a dirty fast, which I do anyway cos of milk in my tea.

I'm about to eat now so it will be around 65 hours dirty fasting

I have a couple of people coming over at 6 to pick up stuff I made, and I don't want to eat late, so I decided I'll have lunch today and try not to eat much later if at all. I'm having soup and a chilli chaffle.

I've been experimenting today with making bookmarks with my own images and printer and laminating them, it's working well and a greetings card too. I've got a mounted print and poster sorted as well so I think I'm at the point now of knowing what I'm doing with the printer.

Once I've had my soup I'll be taking dog to the vet for her vaccinations.

When I come back I'll be having a tidy up as the place has gone to ruin! Then I'll be making stuff off and on all evening after friends leave.

I hadn't planned on selling things yet, was posting what I'm up to in an effort to increase my facebook visibility and to establish on instagram which I've never really used, Shop opens 13th August, but I can't turn away when people ask to buy now that would be silly, So I sold 2 teeny zipper pouches yesterday which is all good. I'll post some pics of what I've been up to, but if you look for Dragonfly Dreamseeker on Facebook or Instagram you'll find me.

I weighed this morning and scales say 174.8 (so that's 1.2 down since friday. I'm humoured that I'm now 'under' 12.5 st so nearer 12 than 13 :) Hopefully the numbers will stick or drop further tomorrow which is my official weigh day.
 
Some pics, I've other stuff as well but these were handy
 

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hey guys didn't have time for a proper catch up this morning. Scales said 175 but I'm still happy enough, I lost a pound this week and I'm happy for any loss.

I had our fortnightly trip to visit parents today and our usual MacDonalds, I took fries today but didn't eat many - they really weren't nice. I had my usual chicken selects and diet coke and ate no biscuits at parents, had no sugar in my tea and ate a square of dark choc when I got home. I have fishcakes that are about to go out of date so we'll have those for dinner, not ideal but always a compromise day on visit days. I've also got a chicken about to go out of date so it's cooking now for tomorrows dinner. It'll probably do us all weekend lol. I might get around to making some keto naan's and make a curry on Sunday. Chaffles are so easy to rustle up, but the naan's are lovely with curry.

Tomorrow I'll be starting a run of nightshifts again, I'll just keep doing my best to stick to things, history shows I always trip up but that's no reason to expect to, or to stop trying!

So...16lbs less now than I was when I started... imagine if I didn't start? imagine if I'd given up? Nope. This is my time, slow though it is. This tortoise is heading for a win. I'm starting to see myself a little differently, when I look in the mirror, when I'm driving and look down at myself. There is definitely less of me. My belly used to poke out far beyond my boobs when I was sitting... it doesn't now. I'm not slim yet by any means but I'm certainly getting healthier.

I'll probably do us the fishcakes soon, and then I'm going to head out the back and weedkill the whole area, and a bit later I might get into my Den for a little while before bedtime, or I may fire up my chimnea and sit outside for a bit. I may stay up later as I've got nightshift mode to get into but we'll see. I'll see how I feel.

Yesterday I got the dog sorted with vaccinating, flea and worm stuff up to date as well, but she's to go back for a 2nd vaccination in 2 weeks, and as she's in season I spoke about spaying and she's now booked in when I have some time off in November. All these things I've had to put off because I had no money. Even though daughter starting work means I'm worse off I'm still much better off than I was a few months ago!

Daughter finally has a start date and is starting work next thursday, which works reasonably well for us as I will be working weds night but her brother is at his Dad's that night so we don't even need to worry about me being late as she can leave any time. After that I'm off for 9 nights so for her first week and more at work she won't need to worry about anything. Also on the thursday I can just go home and have a nap as I'll have an empty house and no one to worry about, bliss.

I need to look into getting daughter a rail card.

Ah better go get stuff done I suppose! back tomorrow I expect!
 
Hello all, scales showed a slight gain this morning but I'm ignoring it. I'm going to be down by Friday this week even though I've got nightshifts. Positivity people, positivity.

Well yesterday I managed to get the whole back garden all sprayed with weedkiller, it's a fairly big space so took a while but the sprayer was a great investment, so much easier than messing about with a watering can. However it has played havoc with my dodgy elbow which really felt like it was on the mend, woke up in a lot of pain again this morning. Next time I'll do it left handed!

I also added plant food around the base of my new tree. Please grow little cherry tree!

Then I decided to have a big chill out, it was a new moon last night, and if you're into this sort of thing - I understand not everyone is - it's the perfect time to let go of the old and usher in the new, so I had a fire in my chimnea and burned some old notebooks and papers I don't need to hang on to, along with some new intentions sent up into the ether. If you don't enjoy that sort of idea that's perfectly ok, just scroll on to the next bit.

So today is a change over day as I'm starting my nightshifts tonight. I've made a big pot of chicken curry and I made a batch of keto naans (8 of em) so I had a portion of curry and naan just a short while ago. I've also eaten some dark choc and some crackers (bad chilli) I'm in the process of making a batch of chaffles. I'm hoping if I have enough naan and chaffle to last all week I'll be more likely to behave myself. As I just wing it now with ingredients I shoved 2 bags of grated mozarella in the bowl with 6 eggs, the following is all approximate...12 tablespoons of almond flour, a heaped tablespoon of baking powder, a tablespoon of psyllium husk and a tablespoon of chilli flakes and mixed it all up with a fork, This should have made 6, but it's stretching quite happily to 8. Hopefully they still taste as good. I'll keep some out and pop some in the freezer. I've got soup in the freezer so I'll take a portion of that tonight and a chaffle to eat in the middle of the night.

I have a plan for most of the week's food - but I confess it includes a take away on Friday night. I had one recently and don't usually as often but we have a family one the week I get paid and I get paid on Monday, and as daughter starts her job on Thursday I thought she'd like a takeaway to round off her first week (albeit that it's just 2 days lol)

Was pondering numbers as I like to earlier, and I only need to lose another 3lb's to reach 10% lost.

It would be awesome to end a nightshift week with a loss, even 0.5lb's would do!

Ah well, we will see on Friday morning.

I spent this morning designing new business cards, I've ordered a batch of 1000, and also 2x window stickers for my car. Time to grow :)

Did I mention I'm all excited?

about absolutely everything?
 
Hello all, scales showed a slight gain this morning but I'm ignoring it. I'm going to be down by Friday this week even though I've got nightshifts. Positivity people, positivity.

Well yesterday I managed to get the whole back garden all sprayed with weedkiller, it's a fairly big space so took a while but the sprayer was a great investment, so much easier than messing about with a watering can. However it has played havoc with my dodgy elbow which really felt like it was on the mend, woke up in a lot of pain again this morning. Next time I'll do it left handed!

I also added plant food around the base of my new tree. Please grow little cherry tree!

Then I decided to have a big chill out, it was a new moon last night, and if you're into this sort of thing - I understand not everyone is - it's the perfect time to let go of the old and usher in the new, so I had a fire in my chimnea and burned some old notebooks and papers I don't need to hang on to, along with some new intentions sent up into the ether. If you don't enjoy that sort of idea that's perfectly ok, just scroll on to the next bit.

So today is a change over day as I'm starting my nightshifts tonight. I've made a big pot of chicken curry and I made a batch of keto naans (8 of em) so I had a portion of curry and naan just a short while ago. I've also eaten some dark choc and some crackers (bad chilli) I'm in the process of making a batch of chaffles. I'm hoping if I have enough naan and chaffle to last all week I'll be more likely to behave myself. As I just wing it now with ingredients I shoved 2 bags of grated mozarella in the bowl with 6 eggs, the following is all approximate...12 tablespoons of almond flour, a heaped tablespoon of baking powder, a tablespoon of psyllium husk and a tablespoon of chilli flakes and mixed it all up with a fork, This should have made 6, but it's stretching quite happily to 8. Hopefully they still taste as good. I'll keep some out and pop some in the freezer. I've got soup in the freezer so I'll take a portion of that tonight and a chaffle to eat in the middle of the night.

I have a plan for most of the week's food - but I confess it includes a take away on Friday night. I had one recently and don't usually as often but we have a family one the week I get paid and I get paid on Monday, and as daughter starts her job on Thursday I thought she'd like a takeaway to round off her first week (albeit that it's just 2 days lol)

Was pondering numbers as I like to earlier, and I only need to lose another 3lb's to reach 10% lost.

It would be awesome to end a nightshift week with a loss, even 0.5lb's would do!

Ah well, we will see on Friday morning.

I spent this morning designing new business cards, I've ordered a batch of 1000, and also 2x window stickers for my car. Time to grow :)

Did I mention I'm all excited?

about absolutely everything?
As you know our weight naturally goes up and down. weight is effected by so many things from exercise, salt in our diet to hormones to name a few. I am looking forward to celebrating your 10% lost mile stone. The different milestones we set for ourselves help to keep us motivated and not make the journey so daunting. The though of losing 9 plus stone was over whelming and seemed like climbing mount Everest. But breaking it down to half stone goals/ next stone bracket/ next BMI bracket and percentage of weight loss is helping me climb mount Everest lol
 
Yeah I'm not overly worried, I'm completely sold on being in this for the long hall and as such I'm putting a lot less pressure on myself, it's all just a big game really. it's taken me 5 months to lose 16lbs, but I can focus on 5 months, or I can focus on the fact I'm 16lbs healthier! I think small chunks and mind tricks are really the only way. I go in 5lb chunks but always looking for anything useful in between, in this case it's 3 more lbs to 10%. Then 1 more after than and that's another 5 chunk. After that it's the next 5, but I'll drop below 12 stone before then so I'll keep breaking it down. Anything closer to aim for!
 
Yeah I'm not overly worried, I'm completely sold on being in this for the long hall and as such I'm putting a lot less pressure on myself, it's all just a big game really. it's taken me 5 months to lose 16lbs, but I can focus on 5 months, or I can focus on the fact I'm 16lbs healthier! I think small chunks and mind tricks are really the only way. I go in 5lb chunks but always looking for anything useful in between, in this case it's 3 more lbs to 10%. Then 1 more after than and that's another 5 chunk. After that it's the next 5, but I'll drop below 12 stone before then so I'll keep breaking it down. Anything closer to aim for!
It doesn't matter if it is slow. The important thing is we are adopting healthier diet and making this our new way of life. When I think back to a year ago my diet was full of processed sugary food. Now very little in the way of processed foods, lots of fresh fruit and vegetables and lean proteins. I feel so much better eating cleaner and have far more energy to do the things i want to.
 
yes you're right and although I deviate sometimes I know I'm making better choices most of the time.

I ate 2 little sandwiches at work, so 1 slice bread, and had my chaffle and soup overnight. Haven't eaten yet today and probably won't until work again. I'll try not to anyway.

I've just sat for a while writing out what life would look like once I'm hopefully able to give up the day job, well in my case night job lol. Whether you believe in manifesting or not the mind is a powerful thing I think. The more we focus on our goals the more we are likely to notice ways to achieve it. My heart is no longer in the care industry. I can see me going in as a volunteer as I do love the older people but I don't like the way the care industry is running.

my workmate and I were chatting last night about the possibility of doing homecare or agency work as I progress, allowing me some flexibility and a back up at least, but the problem with that is that I have been registered with sssc for 2.5 years, if I stay in my employment I'll be funded by them to do my SVQ. If I leave I'm only allowed to continue in care up until 5 years total without the SVQ so I'd need to consider funding it myself, and I can't find a conclusive answer about how much that would cost but potentially up to £1200. Mind you it could still be worth it. If I worked for an agency it's much more flexible I can consider things like at the start of the week when is my daughter home, when is son away at his Dad's and only put my availability down for those nights.

But part of me is saying - do I even want to do that? Perhaps I'm short changing the dream by suggesting it will never be enough on it's own. In any case there are several things I could do instead. It is very empowering to understand that. I have many more choices than I used to believe. Something would come up...

My dream could really be enough, it isn't like I'm aiming for millions. If I could make profit of around £30/day on average that would actually be plenty, for the next 4 years anyway. My entitlements will change as my son hits 13, but he's only nearly 9. But when he is 13, I won't need to worry about babysitters or childcare so I'd have a lot more freedom, but really... I can build something in 4 years. I'm sure I can!

I just got my calculator out, and it's not actually a massive change, instead of average £30/day I'd need about £40/day for my current entitlements to continue and then it wouldn't change again until son leaves school (potentially 3-5 years later) I can do that. I can do more than that!

In the back of my mind I'm thinking I'd like to give up my night job early next year... But we will see. I can be flexible!

Ah well, back to what minimins is for... I weighed when I woke up and looking stable which actually means a potential loss as usually I weigh a bit higher after day time sleeps :)

I might make some tomato soup for tonight.

bye for now, thanks for listening to me ramble!
 
I use to work as a nurse caring for dementia patients in the hospital in the days before it was farmed out to private care. I did this for 10 years. I loved this area but when i did my conversion from enrolled nurse mental to registered mental nurse. I found a new field I loved even more forensic psychiatry . I understand your not liking private care so much and the direction it is going. I worked for a short time in a nursing home being seconded out by the nhs when they were transfering patients from nhs care to private. I hated it I think that is what made me look at a different area of nursing within my branch;
 
My thinking would be if you can get funded to do the SVQ now then do it. Then you always have it to fall back on in the future and do agency work if the craft business doesnt make the profit you need. Its not lessening the faith you havebin yourself but more as an insurance policy.
 
The problem is, if I wait with my current employer and allow them to fund me, I'm then tied to stay with them for 2 years after I finish the SVQ and I'm not sure I want to be tied that long. If I was to leave I'd need to pay it back.

I've been looking at one of the agencies and some of them also fund training so it could be that I'm concerned over nothing.

We were chatting again last night and I could just work nights or even days when son is at his Dads which would give daughter more freedom and I'd save £20/week that I pay her for babysitting, making the gap between what I'd earn even smaller. I was talking to her about it today and she's quite happy with the idea as well.

1 agency shift/week without having to pay babysitting = approx £35 less that week. Surely I can make more than that with my craft sales.

I've said I'm going to give it a few months, let her settle into her job and let me get my online shop going and then we'll see.

I also know my son would prefer it, sometimes it works out he's at his Dads when I'm off then comes home and I'm on 4 nights. Sometimes he asks if I'm working that night and I see his little face fall when I say I am. I know he'd love to have me around all of the time he's here. I'd love to be here... my heart is now at home with my kids and in my craft.

I weighed when I got up this afternoon and I'm now done to 173.5! which is 1.5 down from Friday, and on my nightshifts, I think it might be a bit of a delay from last weeks fast as I didn't lose much considering that.

Hope it sticks by Friday.

Well 2 nights down, 3 to go, but regardless of what I do in a few months I only have one more run of 5 in 2 weeks time and after that I'll be down to the 4.

Off to my meditation group in a minute, I started two paintings yesterday too :)
 
Lovely to catch up on your thinkng and life, Chilli. Your plans are developing nicely. If you can get that SVQ paid for and done now, you can save up the money to pay them back - and may even be able to get an agency make you a loan so you can buy out your training.
 
The problem is, if I wait with my current employer and allow them to fund me, I'm then tied to stay with them for 2 years after I finish the SVQ and I'm not sure I want to be tied that long. If I was to leave I'd need to pay it back.

I've been looking at one of the agencies and some of them also fund training so it could be that I'm concerned over nothing.

We were chatting again last night and I could just work nights or even days when son is at his Dads which would give daughter more freedom and I'd save £20/week that I pay her for babysitting, making the gap between what I'd earn even smaller. I was talking to her about it today and she's quite happy with the idea as well.

1 agency shift/week without having to pay babysitting = approx £35 less that week. Surely I can make more than that with my craft sales.

I've said I'm going to give it a few months, let her settle into her job and let me get my online shop going and then we'll see.

I also know my son would prefer it, sometimes it works out he's at his Dads when I'm off then comes home and I'm on 4 nights. Sometimes he asks if I'm working that night and I see his little face fall when I say I am. I know he'd love to have me around all of the time he's here. I'd love to be here... my heart is now at home with my kids and in my craft.

I weighed when I got up this afternoon and I'm now done to 173.5! which is 1.5 down from Friday, and on my nightshifts, I think it might be a bit of a delay from last weeks fast as I didn't lose much considering that.

Hope it sticks by Friday.

Well 2 nights down, 3 to go, but regardless of what I do in a few months I only have one more run of 5 in 2 weeks time and after that I'll be down to the 4.

Off to my meditation group in a minute, I started two paintings yesterday too :)
I hope you eventually get to work where you want and hours than fit in with the family. But in current climate easier said than done. I have seen your craft pictures. I am sure you could make quite a few quid. They make nice little gifts and stocking fillers for Christmas. I love hand made things. When I was a child for Christmas I would embroider my grand parents something like a dressing table set. Old fashioned now but were on point for that generation. I can crochet and knit in a fashion lol but dress making skipped a generation I swear. My mum made all our clothes when we were children. But me and sewing machines are not best buddies lol
 
I've only shown a fraction of what I can make, I'm 100% sure all I need to do is keep adding to my range especially paintings because they can continue to bring money with printing. And I need to build my audience. It can't happen overnight but if I really invest myself I'm convinced I can do it!

My sleep today hasn't been great, fog kept barking but as son is at club I've been able to keep dozing. I'm up now though and my weight is 173.5 again and I'm beyond pleased with myself 🤣

Only 1.5 until 10% gone.
 
I've only shown a fraction of what I can make, I'm 100% sure all I need to do is keep adding to my range especially paintings because they can continue to bring money with printing. And I need to build my audience. It can't happen overnight but if I really invest myself I'm convinced I can do it!

My sleep today hasn't been great, fog kept barking but as son is at club I've been able to keep dozing. I'm up now though and my weight is 173.5 again and I'm beyond pleased with myself 🤣

Only 1.5 until 10% gone.
Well done on getting to 173.5, So very nearly there for 10%, It will be a great motivator to keep up your good work. I look forward to celebrating this important milestone. I know this week my motivation is to get to 4 1/2 stone lost (63lbs) I only have 1 pound to go. I have been chuffed to bits today my physio said she can't believe how much weight I have lost since she first saw me. I find when you get to a certain age people are a little fearful of mentioning it in case it is bad health news rather than weight loss that is planned.
 
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