crisis of confidence

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by kikuka, 2 February 2009 Social URL.

  1. kikuka

    kikuka Tequila makes miaow happy

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    I have convinced myself that I look fat and still would be thought of as obese. My husband says I dont, and I look 'normal' but the more I think about needing to lose another stone to BMI 25 the more I get confused about how far i have come. Does anyone else get that way? Oh dear, I have got myself in a mess

    This is a photo of me recently, which is the most representative I think of how I look (according to friends)
     

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  3. Linda5111

    Linda5111 I can do this.

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    Your far from being obese, but wanting to lose more weight really depends on how u feel about urself. good luck.
     
  4. biltsy

    biltsy Peggy McParrot

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    You look beautiful listen to your oh
     
  5. andju

    andju I lurve lurve lurve bars

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    Hi I feel much like you do,I always thought having got to where I am now between a 14 and 16 I would feel great at how I look.....but I dont,family friends everyone i know says I dont need to lose anymore,when I look in the mirror I still see a big spare tyre and flab,its really odd,I want to get to bmi 25 and have about 24lbs to get there,it takes a while for the mind to catch up,but it may be an idea,(I dont know if you have yet) to put some pictures on here side by side in your album and keep looking at them,I have done this and can see i have lost weight but this is the only way I can actually see it.
    Anyhow a big congrats on your loss and you look beautiful in your photo definatley NOT obese
    xx
     
  6. wannabslim

    wannabslim Gold Member

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    Hi hun, I too have had this.

    My advice to you would be: be realistic, and remember there's more to life than your BMI!!

    It's so easy to get caught up with your exact weight and BMI being right, that we often forget that actually BMI is only ONE weightloss tool. It's not just about the lbs on the scales, or even about the inches, but it's also about how you feel in yourself. Looking at photos side by side helps, but for me, the real key is looking in the mirror and asking myself "am I there yet?".

    OK, so we'll never be 100% happy with ourselves, no-one ever is, and a lot can be accomplished through toning exercise, AND we need to take into account the fact that we have lost a lot of weight and that takes its toll on our figures. But if you still have fat on your body that you want rid of, then keep going until its gone.

    Are you happy with your size? Do you feel healthy? Do you feel confident? Can you wear the clothees you want to wear? Do you still want to lose a little more?

    You need to be honest with yourself about how you feel. For me, I still know that I have a few areas I need to lose some fat from before I will feel ready to stop, but at the same time I feel healthy and normal now. Therefore I plan to get to BMI 25 as I always planned to do (for my own sense of achievement) and then work up the steps slowly until the areas of fat have gone.

    You need to have a think about what it is that you really want, and whether you are ready to "give up" dieting for good. If you are now 100% happy to stop dieting then start working up the plans and that'll be it - no more dieting - forever. But if you still would like to lose another stone or two, then keep going, it will be worth it in the long run.

    Good luck whatever you decide to do xxx
     
  7. Purple Hugs

    Purple Hugs Loves weight.. training!

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    I Guess your brain is taking a little longer to 'come round' to what it's seeing in the mirror and on the scale. ((hugs))
    You are certainly not fat.. or obese.. If you stopped today you would have achieved a MAJOR success!! :D

    Do you have clothes from 'before'? I'm wondering if putting them on would help you realise how far you've come... get out some old and new pics together.. see the difference everyone else see's. :)

    Well done on a major achievement! :)
     
  8. lottymoo

    lottymoo Taking one day at a time.

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    oh no no no! You look absolutely lovely! You have done so well.
    XX
     
  9. kikuka

    kikuka Tequila makes miaow happy

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    Thanks everyone, you have brought atear to my eye with your lovely replies. I have tried on a pair of my old trousers as suggested - I kept one pair that I wore for my 32nd birthday, and I can more or less get into one leg. That helped a bit. Reading through your comments has made me realise that I can be two things at once - healthy and 'normal' and still wanting to lose some fat (mostrly from legs now) whereas I think my mind is very either or in that I am either fat/obese and dieting or finished and slim. I know there is a middle ground, ie nearly there, but I havent quite drilled it in yet
     
  10. Gunna-make-it

    Gunna-make-it Full Member

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    Hi Hun, hope you are feeling better... I think many of us will have the same body issues... I know I did 5 years ago when I lost over 4 stone in a year - i never pictured myself as a size 8-10 - i still felt fat.. It wasnt until I was looking at some holiday pictures a few years and a few stone later when I remember saying to my boyfriend "my god, was I really that thin?" The problem was, because I never felt it, I was rubbish at maintaining.
    I do find a good way is to take pictures and compare them against each other, you can see how much you have lost and it will give you a better idea of what you look like - instead of picking holes when you look in the mirror.
    It is a tough one but it is something that will take time xxxxx
     
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