Diary of a Mad Hatter

[Mrsfeeneytobe]

So here I am on day 15 utterly amazed as to how I even got here as I still have mad chats with myself constantly about if I can do this or whether to just dish myself up a plate when cooking for the OH.

this is a big deal for me to get this far as I fell off the wagon when I first officially started in March after only 2 weeks!!!! Celebrating my birthday and ending up on crutches didn't help me fight the food demons and neither did Easter....but alas I'm still carrying on the fight

have to say though that last night OH said my legs are looking slimmer and so too is my face, whilst I've lost an incredible 17inches off my body all around so am super chuffed to bits....even the shelf between my bum and back is shrinking and so too are the saddlebags/side shelves I've been carrying for years on my thighs.....think I love this diet....well for this moment....I will be back to hating it shortly I'm sure haha!

my mini goal feels in sight and I'm going to fight my way to it.....even if I do continue to lose a few more marbles or my mind in the process....roll on 18th May....21lbs to go!

(KOKO) Keep On Keeping Off I say!

 

[Teapot]

Hehe MrsFTB, you're doing sooooo well

 

[Mrsfeeneytobe]

Hehe MrsFTB, you're doing sooooo well

Thanks Mama Teapot

 

[Mrsfeeneytobe]

So treated myself to yet another bath last night in a bid to stay out of the kitchen as I was home alone and the urge to nibble was niggling at me in some sort of "naughty there's no one to see sort of way".....bit nuts I know but that's my sabotage demon toying with me again....but I beat it down...go me

have woken up with the most random mouth ulcers today....have I been munching on my own cheeks in my sleep thinking its food????? Have rinsed with corsodyl as I can't bear it...not sure if we're allowed it but its done now....

Really been nervous about over-sharing on here but you know what? We're all in the same boat and I'm sure someone else has suffered with being bunged up.....i can't tell you how pleased I am to have finally "gone" after 7 whole days!!! Surely that's not normal is it???? Gone from being a daily visitor to having to take an aid in tablet form to get me to go once in a week....mental torture of it is immense!:sigh:

in other news....I've had a sneaky peak on the scales and they're being mean to me....they haven't moved since Saturday!! Grrrrr! :break_diet:

 

[Teapot]

Well done for staying away from the kitchen and being sensible and taking a bath. Don't underestimate how well you've done keeping your sabotage demon at bay, you did great and I'm so proud of you!
Sorry about the ulcers - not happened to me. The corsodyl is just a rinse, so sure it's fine.
Regarding being eternally bunged up, join the club!! I have to resort to tabs at least once a week and hate having them because I get cramps, but I know it works
Don't worry about the scales, I know it's hard but your body will let it go when it's ready and you'll be amazed how much you can suddenly lose overnight sometimes x x x

 

[Mrsfeeneytobe]

Thanks Mama Teapot.....cheered me up hearing from you and seeing your stats again....nearly folded earlier!

the corsodyl left a rancid taste in my mouth all day and the ulcers have driven me nuts.... Then I festered with the thoughts of the scales not moving...but didn't cave in....did some work instead which pleased my boss no end haha!

this week feels SUPER long! Hurry up Saturday weigh in I'm dying here:sigh:

Prob doesn't help that I've got a few things going on over the next 3-4 weekends and I'm panicking about swerving food without being noticed.....OH kindly signed us up for Sunday dinner with his parents this Sunday and I cannot hide when there's only 4 of us at the dinner table....then I have to go to Bristol for work next Thursday with a leaving do that I'm trying swerve in the evening.....THEN I have to fly to Amsterdam on the Sunday to be with one of my really good friends who's moving to America to help her pack for a couple of days...followed by a funeral followed by a drink session to toast my friend's passing on the Friday.....THEN back to Amsterdam for my friend's farewell weekender..... GREAT!!

I see ALOT of food to challenges to swerve and I really want to lose the pounds so I can get into that flamin expensive dress I bought for the wedding on the 18th May!!!.....:cry:

feel a little better now I've got all that anxiety out....but I still have to deal with it....maybe a REFEED is the answer?

 

[Teapot]

I've done so many occasions now that I just say it's ok I'm not eating and people accept it. Many, many business do's, my birthday (family all sat there eating chinese) many work related christmas events including VIP dinners and cocktail parties. Of course christmas and New Year themselves. You can still enjoy yourself drinking sparkling water from a wine glass and everyone else thinks you're having something else. I stayed 100% as my biggest fear about either refeeding or 'eating protein only' was whether I'd have the strength to go back to 100% after. Only you will know. If you are going to refeed, make sure you do it properly and get back to it asap. If you don't it will get harder and harder to do

 

[downsized]

i'm not much of a drinker but in the past the excuse i have used is i'm on antibiotics so cant take alcohol. i know its lying but sometimes it just stops those never ending questions and lectures that comes with it. u also have plenty of time to plan ahead so make sure u have ur packs handy and if u have to have an extra pack, its better than having something else. goodluck though, i know i would struggle if it was me.

 

[Mrsfeeneytobe]

Aww thanks ladies

its not even the drinking that's bothering me, I'm absolutely fine without the booze and really quite enjoying being "dry" as I've always been the party animal back in the day, so feels good to be taking care of myself on that front for a change.

for me it's more how to explain the no food thing in a restaurant setting without having to tell folk I'm doing this and in turn getting lecture upon lecture which would in turn make me feel rubbish and throw the towel in...:sigh:

but today I woke up feeling more positive and have been far too busy with work today to ponder about irrational food thoughts and knowing that my weigh in is 2 more sleeps away deffo helps!

Its deffo day to day with this TFR plan and the further I am from a weigh in the more frustrated I am....but the as soon as it feels closer I'm all ok....gotta love the roller coaster of it all haha!

 

[Mrsfeeneytobe]

I've done so many occasions now that I just say it's ok I'm not eating and people accept it. Many, many business do's, my birthday (family all sat there eating chinese) many work related christmas events including VIP dinners and cocktail parties. Of course christmas and New Year themselves. You can still enjoy yourself drinking sparkling water from a wine glass and everyone else thinks you're having something else. I stayed 100% as my biggest fear about either refeeding or 'eating protein only' was whether I'd have the strength to go back to 100% after. Only you will know. If you are going to refeed, make sure you do it properly and get back to it asap. If you don't it will get harder and harder to do

There is no way I could have not caved at all those events! You ARE A SUPERSTAR!!!!

 

[Mrsfeeneytobe]

Ooh just been trying on some body shapers to help shimmy myself into my target dress for the wedding on 18th May and its only my boobs playing silly beggars now.......how on earth can I shrink them without squishing them so they don't look squished balloons eh I wonder???

i am however please to report the I appear to be shrinking as my OH reckons its just 1-2 inches to go round the boobage and I will be in...even the junk in my trunk has shrunk yay me...time to do arm and back toning exercises daily methinks

come on inches....time shrink away!!!!


BTW OH has decided he's having steak tonight as he's sick of me denying him his fave meal just because I'm on these shakes and can't have any....feel I may have to go out whilst it cooks/he eats it or there may be a murder by a frying pan in Leeds tonight!!!!

 

[Mrsfeeneytobe]

One more sleep till this week's weigh in.....Hurry up and get here already!!!!!

 

[sarah.w]

im sure your resistance and will power will pay off and you'll be brimming with smiles after your weigh in

 

[Mrsfeeneytobe]

Soooo the diary and my fellow LT'ers have been a little neglected recently....have been super busy with work and occupying myself in the evenings with all sorts...namely wedding planning, holiday planning.....and of course getting ready for an emotional time next weekend starting with my good friend's funeral next week followed by jetting off to Amsterdam to bid my really close friend goodbye as she moves to the US.

Bizarrely I haven't fallen off LT wagon despite a couple of truly frustrating times over the past week....tomorrow brings my long awaited weigh in which I feel isn't gonna be that great in terms of big losses but I'll be happy not to gain.

i will be speaking to the chemist tomorrow about doing a refeed as I feel the next week will be too tough emotionally to cope with the distraction and hopefully I can get back on the LT wagon when I'm back from Amsterdam with a strong resolve. However my challenge will be to refeed properly....crumbs!!!

had a quick nosey at how the gang is doing and have to say you guys rock....very well done to you on keeping up the fight

 

[Teapot]

So glad you're still about MrsFTB, well done for sticking to it!! x x x

 

[Emmy_lu]

Well done mrs feeney you are doing fab!! I'm also refeeding soon and am very worried about it so need to plan everything and write it all down or I will end up grabbing food out of hunger. Good luck and be sure to post your refeed if you can. Will be thinking of you next week hope it all goes well xxxx