Diary of a serial dieter...NOT this time!

[Shortyclb86]

So, I'm probably not alone in saying this year I'm going to do it. Diary of a serial dieter, except... Not this time. I've have spent 10 years beating myself up, throwing myself whole heartedly into a new fad diet and rebelling in magnificent style by week two. Thus I have never gotten to where I need to be, or want to be. I have the opposite to anorexia, in that I focus on the good things that in reality aren't likely to be there consequently accepting I'm a big girl.

back ground info, I'm 27. I am married and I have two children. At my heaviest I was 15st. My lightest I was 12st 8lb. Every member of my family is a size 6, skeletal in my eyes. The genuine only thing I have ever envied is their ability to freely choose what they want to wear, throw themselves wholeheartedly into social occasions and events whilst I dread them, worry about them and end up excusing myself from participating. The only difference in me and them (no is not portion sizes or diet) but PCOS. I have battled with every aspect of PCOS and continue to do so. Although I do know now, this is often my excuse. But it hasn't helped. Until recently periods had been none existent, so much so I had lengthy invasive often cripplingly embarrassing medical help to have my two beautiful children.

So why now? My best friend of 10 years is getting married in July, and I cannot, and will not put myself on display for people to scrutinise. This will spoil the occasion and inevitably sour a friendship in my desire to escape from the honour of being chief bridesmaid. The idea of popping on a dress and being on show right now, horrifies me.

i have begun my journey at 13st 13lb (for my height a generous size 16). I have spent the last week healthy eating and I have dropped 4lbs, being restrictive though is my problem, so I did some research and found the Paul McKenna gastric band book and audio. I'm a cynic at everything, so generally wasn't sure this was going to even sink in, but so far - I have to say that it's had an effect on me. I won't go into how right now because I think the whole process in itself is quite lengthy and complicated if you haven't read the book and ultimately it is very early days. I am keeping a diary to help me focus and hopefully over the next few months show others even the weakest willed can succeed! I have tried every diet known to man, with quick results - but truthfully it's about changing life time habits and thought processes, that in itself is not for quick results. Slow and steady. I have 7 months to do this so I'm going to lay my target out here...

start weight: 13st 13lb - size 16
current weight 13st 9lb
1st Goal: 13st (to achieve during February)
2nd goal: 12st 7lb (March/April)
3rd Goal: 12st (June/July)
4th goal: 11st 7lb
5th goal: 11st

end of year goal: 10st 7lb

this is the first chapter of the final chapter in my dieting life.

 

[Shortyclb86]

Ok, so it's day 8 in the big bird house and so far so good. I am currently 13st 6lb. So far I have lost 7lb - although I have no idea where from, nothing necessarily feels looser, ok maybe my jeans just very slightly.

i am eating three meals a day (breakfast lunch & dinner). I still don't feel the need to pick at food, boredom eat or anything. I genuinely feel paul mckenna gastric band hypno has changed something in me.

to keep me on track i use MYFITNESSPAL to record meals and calories, I honestly believe it helps me understand the calorie content and the nutrional values in everything I eat. Because let's face it, dieting is forever. There will be ups and downs I know but educating myself means I'm less likely to just pig out without considering the consequences. I just hope the more weight I lose over time - the more it will spur me on to never ever feel this way or look this way again. Please feel free to add me on my fitnesspal (cazza92) I love to browse others eating habits, for inspiration rather than nosey.

if anybody is able to share with me low calories meal ideas (small portion 300 calls and under) I am avoiding breads, pasta, rice and potato so I'm also really interested in filling alternatives. Any ideas you lovely people might have would be a real help.

my thought for the day is this
"habit is habit and cannot just be thrown out of the window by any man, but coaxed down the stairs a step at a time"

 

[flossnoscar]

Hello
good luck for your weight loss. I'm a serial dieter as well and no excuses this year.

I'm starting a vlcd (again) but if I'm eating normally I've found this to be an amazing website for recipes: Healthy Recipes, Healthy Eating, Healthy Cooking | Eating Well

also good alternatives to rice,pasta etc is quinoa, bulgar wheat and cous cous. Have a look into them. I've also ordered slim noodles from holland and Barrett's. They have a penny sale on right now. You could check that out as well. It's basically kind of like noodles, pasta and rice that are made from a plant and have zero carbs and only like 13 cals per portion ... They can be v filling! Good luck!

 

[Shortyclb86]

Excellent thank you I will pop in my local holland and Barrett and have a look at what they have got. I'm currently weighing in at 13st 4lh and if lost an inch from around my waist. I've started the long walk to little mans nursery twice a week which seems to be helping. I also have my hubby joining in with dance aerobic DVDs much to his displeasure. Eating is still going incredibly well, trousers feel looser, but I think I will actually buy a smaller pair maybe a stone off what I weigh now. I find a size smaller becomes took tight until I fit in them with ease. Spent the morning while little legs is at nursery being followed around by my tiny legs while if vigorously cleaned. I know I'm only 2 weeks in but i still feel HUGELY motivated. Never felt this determined about my weight. Just wish I could have found paul mckenna sooner and also my determination! I still haven't craved any sweets crisps, chocolate, biscuits cakes or anything. I'm still loving my meat and veg. Not missing potatoes or bread either. My friend initially began this journey with me, but she's fallen off maybe 3 times already, she can't give up the treats and sweets. I don't think she's ready to lose weight. I keep trying to encourage her further but it makes no odds.

My thought for the day:

YOU CANNOT EXERCISE YOUR WAY OUT OF BAD NUTRITION! Change the way you eat and you will change your life.

 

[Shortyclb86]

I can't wait to see the 12 stones on the scales. My god it will feel so good!! Come on I can do it!!!
my thought for the day:

being overweight is HARD. losing weight is HARD.
I have finally chosen MY HARD.

 

[Shortyclb86]

Ok, so hopefully tomorrow I'm going to invest in a treadmill and really push myself to achieve my next goal. I'm not really sure what's realistic for my next goal though, I think to be down to 12st 7lb by this time next month. With lots of hard work and good nutrition (which is the easy part so far) I think it's adventurous, sure. BUT do-able.

i went with my best friend to her dress fitting and my god she hides her figure, she looked stunning. A total beauty and it made me feel so bummed that I didn't make the same effort for my own wedding. I felt hideous most of the day, hated everything to the point I next to never get my wedding pictures out. So in a way it made me more determined to make sure at my best friends wedding I too WILL feel like I'd worked hard and I look good and most importantly FEEL awesome at what I hope by that point I have achieved.

So far I an still doing really well. I haven't strayed at all from my healthy eating and calorie allowance. I have touched chocolate in nearly 3 weeks, not to mention crisps, biscuits or take aways. I'm feeling strong and in control. But it is still early days on my journey and I know I will be reading this back 7 months from now and feeling fantastic. So far, I am proud of my determination. I WILL get to where I want to be.

By by the time January has finished I would like to hit 13st
by the end of February I want to be 12st 7lb
by the end of march I want to be 12st
by the end of April I want to be 11st 7lb
by the end of May I want to be 11st
by the end of June I want to be 10st 7lb
by the wedding I want to be 10st

looking at it feels adventurous. But it is do-able like I said with lots of hard work and determination. I want to be my dieting cycle. I never ever want to be nearly 15st, or 14st, or 13st, or 12st and perhaps 11st. I don't want to be fat mummy. I put everything into being a good mum and a good wife but this year (without neglecting my mummy and wife duties) it is all about me. I want freedom to wear attractive clothes, to revel in the idea of going out and getting glammed up, for making all them people who have battled my weight issues with me over the last 10 years proud of my effort and my journey.

I don't know what kick started me this year into doing something, I attended my own sisters wedding 18 months ago and that made no odds. Iv been pregnant and had my little boy in that time and wasn't even motivated to lose weight properly after that, I'm sure once I get to where I want to be I can and will realise exactly what did it.

My my thought for the day: I am confident and strong and I will achieve succeed and exceed my goals.

 

[Shortyclb86]

Wow ok so a week has passed since I last wrote and I think I was feeling bummed out, but despite the fact I'm physically more active (more exercise) and my food intake is still small and strictly only healthy good food mostly no carbs I have hit a wall and my scales are not budging, which is irritating me because I'm working so hard. So I got up this morning and I decided right, I won't feel disheartened today I'm going to re-measure myself and see if I'm having any joy that way. Luckily for me, I have lost an inch of each thigh, 2" off my bust, 5" from my top waist, 1" from my middle waist and 2.5" from my lower waist. Which I'm thrilled to bits with. I'm not sure how that works because the pounds haven't moved on the scales. But iv lost inches. I'm currently weighing 13st 2lb. I currently do an hour on the treadmill a day and I'm really enjoying it. Sometimes I run, sometimes I power walk. It depends on what I've been doing with the kids during the day.
i am able to feel it in my clothes at the moment, they are baggy around my bum and loose around my thighs. It feels good. I'm just desperate to push past this wall on the scales and see that 12st bracket looking back at me. Haven't seen that for years!

i am getting bored of my meal choices, don't get me wrong normally that would be me jumping back into junk food, carbs, sweets and treats - but not this time. I just am in desperate need of some new low calorie low carb meal ideas! So if anybody reads my blog and has some tried and tested recipes that fit the low cal low carb brackets I would greatly appreciate them.

I am still not craving or wanting junk and sweets etc, it's the last thing I want, and to be honest next to never think about. Which I'm pleased with. I have found that when I use the treadmill, I work harder and longer when I am watching something motivational, I watch sky go on the ipad and I watch all the biggest losers and obese a year to save my life. So inspirational and often emotional. It helps I find the male trainers in both programmes rather dishy this year is my year though and I will do this!!

 

[Shortyclb86]

Wooohoooo I just had to log in to update that I seem to have smashed that wall and hit my January target today as I'm bang on 13st!

Today I am feeling wonderful.

3st to go!! 6 months to do it!!

I CAN DO THIS.

 

[Shortyclb86]

It's been two weeks since I have signed in, I took a week away from the diet and struggled to restart for a few days, but due to a few life stresses... I'm back on board. I'm currently weighing 12st 12lb but I'm not thrilled about it as the last few days I have barely eaten at all. (Stress related which isn't what my blog is about so I'm not going to write about it). So I expect the figure to move around once I have got back on track with less stress. So my target for this month was to hit 12st 7lb, but because of the break I'm doubtful that I will reach this target now, I have roughly two weeks to work hard and get to wherever I can. It's funny I'm the lightest I have been for years but I don't feel it. Whenever I have read about fat people getting skinny and how they have struggled to identify with the new person and new body and still feel fat from years of being that big person I have struggled to understand where on earth they are coming from. But even at such a short way in on my diet I get it. I really do. Old habits die hard. Got to much going on at home at the moment so my head probably isn't in the right space but by the time I come back and write it will be, and hopefully a few more pounds down!

 

[Shortyclb86]

Ok so current weight is 12st 8lb. Just 1lb off my February target! And I have till the end of this week to hit it!! I'm confident I will.
The only thing I keep thinking is I love watching the numbers go down on the scales, but when will enough be enough? The only other obstacle I seem to have arrived at, is I looking very obviously slimmer, and feeling rather good for it, but my best friend has now started to accuse her husband of fancying me. WTF! Our friendship is indeed nothing like that. Oh hum