Diary of Demented Iva
- Thread starter iva
- Start date
well my scales only show 0.75 down since weds. hope it speeds up!
since I started using my pedometer on tuesday I have managed to keep my daily average steps above 10000 so I'm very pleased about that
just need to keep it up!
Went to a local castle ruin today, it has 172 steps to get to it (down on the way, up on the way back) so its great for exercise, I need 2 rests on the way up at the moment, hoping to get better at it! I have spoken to my 7 yr old daughter and asked if she will help me get healthy by going there once a week, and having 2 walks a week after our meal at night. She has agreed and i have said if she is good she will be rewarded with some coins in her money jar (our reward system at home) so hopefully we'll manage to keep that up. Beside the castle is a patch of stoney beach where she likes to play as well, have a rummage for shells, rock pools and throw stones into the sea, so she enjoys our visits. I've bought us season tickets so we can also go into the castle whenever we want as well, have a picnic etc (well she can, I guess I'll have a bar lol)
Tonight I sliced a toffee bar into tiny slices, I'll deffo do that again as it felt like it took ages to eat that way! and also I tried adding hot water to the berry water flavouring and am loving it! having it just now instead of a cup of tea!
Does anyone else find they suddenly take more care of themselves after losing even a small amount of weight? I've been busy with the moisturiser anyway to try and help the skin as I lose weight. But last night I pleated my hair so it would be curly today, its a look I like but haven't bothered with for a couple years! It also helps I'm wearing a top today that I haven't been able to wear for a couple years. All good!
since I started using my pedometer on tuesday I have managed to keep my daily average steps above 10000 so I'm very pleased about that
just need to keep it up! Went to a local castle ruin today, it has 172 steps to get to it (down on the way, up on the way back) so its great for exercise, I need 2 rests on the way up at the moment, hoping to get better at it! I have spoken to my 7 yr old daughter and asked if she will help me get healthy by going there once a week, and having 2 walks a week after our meal at night. She has agreed and i have said if she is good she will be rewarded with some coins in her money jar (our reward system at home) so hopefully we'll manage to keep that up. Beside the castle is a patch of stoney beach where she likes to play as well, have a rummage for shells, rock pools and throw stones into the sea, so she enjoys our visits. I've bought us season tickets so we can also go into the castle whenever we want as well, have a picnic etc (well she can, I guess I'll have a bar lol)
Tonight I sliced a toffee bar into tiny slices, I'll deffo do that again as it felt like it took ages to eat that way! and also I tried adding hot water to the berry water flavouring and am loving it! having it just now instead of a cup of tea!
Does anyone else find they suddenly take more care of themselves after losing even a small amount of weight? I've been busy with the moisturiser anyway to try and help the skin as I lose weight. But last night I pleated my hair so it would be curly today, its a look I like but haven't bothered with for a couple years! It also helps I'm wearing a top today that I haven't been able to wear for a couple years. All good!
Enough
Gold Member
Mee too! I'm choosing my nicer clothes a bit more, using more nice skin creams, brushing my hair a little more often.. and I'm getting more productive, more optimistic, going out and having more fun, getting more done around the house, and it's nothing to do with my actual weight, but how I feel about life in general..
It's fascinating how my attitude towards myself changes - I caught up with a bunch of friends recently who I haven't seen for ages, and had a great time! I've 'only' lost a stone and yet I'm feeling so much better.. but the funny thing is that I now realise that last time I had seen them I was feeling fat and old and so I was quieter and less relaxed/comfortable - and yet I actually weighed less and was younger that time!! haha! It's just that the scales were going up not down!!! How ridiculous is that?? haha!
We're doing something so valuable not just for our health but for our self esteem! This is great, isn't it??
Have a honky day Iva!
xx
Hellooo anyone who is around reading soo what have I been up to last couple days?
well Sunday, I don't know what possessed me but I was cleaning out the kitchen cupboards, feels much better in there as its more organised and I threw heaps of stuff out - need to do that in every room I think! Anyway I was sat on the floor sorting out rubbish, leaned over and something in my hip went and it ended up hurting a lot, ok if stood still or walking but stairs were sore, and sleeping on sunday was rubbish!
Monday back at work, and in the evening my friend came over for our weekly core exercise work out, we worked harder than previous week altho there were a few exercises I missed because of my hip. Its handy because my partner is very into training (rediculously fit) and he was around helping to make sure we did the exercises properly. I managed to sleep better after that!
Tuesday, usual day at work and now Just back from pipe band practise, my daughter is learning the tenor drum and I'm learning the chanter, I feel like I learned a lot tonight so happy about that!
Just having my last food pack for the day and wondering what tomorrows weigh in will bring. My scales went back up this morning and suggest I have lost nothing this week, it seems a bit of a coincidence that a zero loss coincides with me doing more exercise because as well as the monday night thing I have also kept my step average/day above 10000. Time will tell anyway I'll give it a few weeks to settle before making any changes.
Like I have said to others you can't go by a 'one week' weight loss, look at it over the month! Hard to take ones own advice tho haha
soo what have I been up to last couple days?well Sunday, I don't know what possessed me but I was cleaning out the kitchen cupboards, feels much better in there as its more organised and I threw heaps of stuff out - need to do that in every room I think! Anyway I was sat on the floor sorting out rubbish, leaned over and something in my hip went and it ended up hurting a lot, ok if stood still or walking but stairs were sore, and sleeping on sunday was rubbish!
Monday back at work, and in the evening my friend came over for our weekly core exercise work out, we worked harder than previous week altho there were a few exercises I missed because of my hip. Its handy because my partner is very into training (rediculously fit) and he was around helping to make sure we did the exercises properly. I managed to sleep better after that!
Tuesday, usual day at work and now Just back from pipe band practise, my daughter is learning the tenor drum and I'm learning the chanter, I feel like I learned a lot tonight so happy about that!
Just having my last food pack for the day and wondering what tomorrows weigh in will bring. My scales went back up this morning and suggest I have lost nothing this week, it seems a bit of a coincidence that a zero loss coincides with me doing more exercise because as well as the monday night thing I have also kept my step average/day above 10000. Time will tell anyway I'll give it a few weeks to settle before making any changes.
Like I have said to others you can't go by a 'one week' weight loss, look at it over the month! Hard to take ones own advice tho haha
well I can't help but be a little disappointed I had a little chicken the other day, not any more than ss+ would have allowed, but apart from that I've stuck to it and lost nothing this week. I've still lost 11 in a month so will hang on to that and assume I'll have a faster week here and there.
I had weeks like this previously when i did lighterlife as well but I didn't expect it to happen as early as week 4, especially when I still have so much to lose
Part of me is in panic mode, because if this diet fails to work for me long term, what will? .... nothing!
But I'm trying to be calm, and rational, the scales will move..... won't they?
I had a little chicken the other day, not any more than ss+ would have allowed, but apart from that I've stuck to it and lost nothing this week. I've still lost 11 in a month so will hang on to that and assume I'll have a faster week here and there.I had weeks like this previously when i did lighterlife as well but I didn't expect it to happen as early as week 4, especially when I still have so much to lose
Part of me is in panic mode, because if this diet fails to work for me long term, what will? .... nothing!
But I'm trying to be calm, and rational, the scales will move..... won't they?
AnnieAnnie
Gold Member
Yea they'll definitely move. Just not necessarily when you want! I tend to have small losses then big ones rather than more even ones. Just think, a sts on cd would probably have been a gain on ww!
Jelliebabe
Gold Member
^^^ what she said! On WW you might have only lost 4-8 lbs not 11... You're doing really well chick! Keep it up
thanks guys, you're right I do think on any other diet I could well have gained, but what to do? can't eat less than we eat on this diet! Just sit tight and wait till next week I guess. I think these weeks will be easier to deal with down the line once I can see it picks up again
am feeling a bit down and emotional now, not at all sure why!
I felt really bouncy earlier, full of the joys of spring, I've drank over 3 litres of water and had all my packs, AND walked over 15000 steps today so I've done well really.
I *might* be pre-menstrual, can never tell as I'm not regular, but I'm feeling sorry for self anyway, wondering how on earth i can stick to this, and feeling quite resentful of my OH who really MUST eat a lot as he has more of a struggle to maintain his weight without losing! It really just doesn't feel fair. Of course its not his fault and I must hold that in. he is incredibly supportive of me and if he was here he'd sort me out with a cuddle but he's at his weekly mixed martial arts training class.
I think its a mixture of having not lost any weight last week, hormones, and just being tired. That's my best guess anyway.
Last night I was sat on my bed with my laptop and OH found me slumped over asleep and it was only 2115! have been so tired lately!
Oh well, tomorrow is another day, and its just around the corner.
night all xxx
I felt really bouncy earlier, full of the joys of spring, I've drank over 3 litres of water and had all my packs, AND walked over 15000 steps today so I've done well really.
I *might* be pre-menstrual, can never tell as I'm not regular, but I'm feeling sorry for self anyway, wondering how on earth i can stick to this, and feeling quite resentful of my OH who really MUST eat a lot as he has more of a struggle to maintain his weight without losing! It really just doesn't feel fair. Of course its not his fault and I must hold that in. he is incredibly supportive of me and if he was here he'd sort me out with a cuddle but he's at his weekly mixed martial arts training class.
I think its a mixture of having not lost any weight last week, hormones, and just being tired. That's my best guess anyway.
Last night I was sat on my bed with my laptop and OH found me slumped over asleep and it was only 2115! have been so tired lately!
Oh well, tomorrow is another day, and its just around the corner.
night all xxx
oooh 3 hours in car where have you gone? lol
I'm feeling much better probably a couple good nights sleep has helped. Also the scales have moved finally, down 2.5 since weds, so hopefully I'll lose at least 4 this week, fingers crossed anyway.
Had a chilled out day today and dyed my hair purple ok its just one of those salon live packs, and my hair is very dark, so its more a subtle hint of purple in the light I get, but still, you can't see my greys anymore haha
I'm feeling much better
probably a couple good nights sleep has helped. Also the scales have moved finally, down 2.5 since weds, so hopefully I'll lose at least 4 this week, fingers crossed anyway.Had a chilled out day today and dyed my hair purple
ok its just one of those salon live packs, and my hair is very dark, so its more a subtle hint of purple in the light I get, but still, you can't see my greys anymore haha
Enough
Gold Member
Phew.. Glad the scales have moved. i'm not predicting how much i'll have lost cause i dont want to set myself up for disappointment.. Im just going to trust the process and hope it works long term. It has to, surely!
Purple - that sounds great! I need to start playing with my look again and get of the routines ive fallen into..
Purple - that sounds great! I need to start playing with my look again and get of the routines ive fallen into..
After my traumatic time 5 yrs ago, i did all sorts of things that were different for me, i had my long hair cut short and spikey (its long again now tho) My naturally very dark almost black hair has been brown, red, purple, blonde and blue haha, so the lads at work are used to me turning up at meetings looking stranger by the day! Its a good thing to change, because after all if you don't like the cut.... it grows back, and if you don't like the colour.... you can change it again! Nothing permanent or life threatening! I also got 2 tattoo's in recent years which I'd never have done before, but those obviously need a lot more thought and planning, what with being permanent got to be sure of those!
Today I am happy Iva! my scales are now showing 4 down on last weds, thats 4!!!! and I've squeeezed into a pair of size 14 jeans that have been impossible for years! I have lots of other 14's that don't fit yet though, so I'm not kidding myself at having dropped a whole size, I'm sort of inbetween. I have 16's that were previously very tight (too tight really) that are now hanging off me though.
Mind you sizes are ****, I have 2 size 12 skirts that I could still squeeze into at my biggest and I was probably an 18 or more then.
When I was trying to lose weight last year I kept a note of my measurements, and I've only lost half an inch on each of my waist, bust and hips since then, however I think the weight has just come off in different areas, my trousers feel looser around the leg, and my bum used to have an odd kind of shelf to it (imaging admitting that hahaha) but its looking rounder, and the area between my belly button and my breasts has reduced. Again - awful admission - when I sat down the fat there would squash together and stick out further than my breasts, whereas now, it doesn't so I can certainly see the difference! I'll have lost just over a stone now in 5 weeks and that's the difference its made. Am very pleased to be able to see progress!
Right I best be off, my daughter has a token she got on 'book day' that she wants to spend, I'm more than happy to promote reading anyway, we do like a good read in this house! we don't really need a book token Hannah has heaps already, but a new book is always good! My partner has shelves and shelves of books, so I bought a kindle, because otherwise there simply would end up with not enough room for people in the house! Anyways book shopping and then onwards to buy a birthday pressie for my OH.
This weekend has been a bit easier than previous weeks, dunno if I'm just getting into it better or if I was motivated after staying the same but then seeing it drop, who knows anyway am not complaining!
Happy Sunday all catch u laters!
Today I am happy Iva! my scales are now showing 4 down on last weds, thats 4!!!! and I've squeeezed into a pair of size 14 jeans that have been impossible for years! I have lots of other 14's that don't fit yet though, so I'm not kidding myself at having dropped a whole size, I'm sort of inbetween. I have 16's that were previously very tight (too tight really) that are now hanging off me though.
Mind you sizes are ****, I have 2 size 12 skirts that I could still squeeze into at my biggest and I was probably an 18 or more then.
When I was trying to lose weight last year I kept a note of my measurements, and I've only lost half an inch on each of my waist, bust and hips since then, however I think the weight has just come off in different areas, my trousers feel looser around the leg, and my bum used to have an odd kind of shelf to it (imaging admitting that hahaha) but its looking rounder, and the area between my belly button and my breasts has reduced. Again - awful admission - when I sat down the fat there would squash together and stick out further than my breasts, whereas now, it doesn't so I can certainly see the difference! I'll have lost just over a stone now in 5 weeks and that's the difference its made. Am very pleased to be able to see progress!
Right I best be off, my daughter has a token she got on 'book day' that she wants to spend, I'm more than happy to promote reading anyway, we do like a good read in this house! we don't really need a book token Hannah has heaps already, but a new book is always good! My partner has shelves and shelves of books, so I bought a kindle, because otherwise there simply would end up with not enough room for people in the house! Anyways book shopping and then onwards to buy a birthday pressie for my OH.
This weekend has been a bit easier than previous weeks, dunno if I'm just getting into it better or if I was motivated after staying the same but then seeing it drop, who knows anyway am not complaining!
Happy Sunday all catch u laters!
Jelliebabe
Gold Member
Oooh iva you've made me chuckle. I have the spare roll between bust and tummy that I call my second pair of boobs! How gross is that! Anyway that's always where I loose/put weight on/off from first ! Mines gone in dramatically! Only visible now when sitting yay
haha, Glad its not just me Jellibabe!
These things are in some ways hard to admit, but once its mentioned and a laugh is had its much easier I think! and why not laugh at our bodies? Big or small they are amazing things, carry us through life, take us all the places we choose to go and so on. Best to just enjoy and make the most of it!
Having said all that I've sort of had a shitty day. My daughter and I fell out rather dramatically and I'm struggling to let it go. Sometimes I don't feel like I am a nice person.... she is 7, but she knows how to behave, she has ruined my day and I want to make her suffer. She's had her punishment of course, she's had money taken from her reward jar, and no TV this evening, and I won't actually inflict any further suffering...... but I want to, Does that make me bad?
Just to put things into perspective we're not just talking about a little naughty like arguing over which jacket or something... we're talking..... arguing (repeatedly), lying (0nce), trying to walk away from me in a busy city, and then (because she'd walked away and lost my trust) refusing to hold my hand, and then - because of that I held her wrist, followed by about 20 mins of her crying and wriggling and getting more angry (I told her she had 2 choices either hold my hand OR I was holding her wrist she has to re-earn the trust to walk freely) followed by her being so frustrated she hit me twice wanting me to let her go (hitting certainly isn't normal here) followed by tantrum like a 3 yr old in the lift, followed by all sorts of shouting and blaming of mother in the car! She IS prone to arguing, but not the rest of it.
The reason I am so angry is that we set off, in order to use her book token and buy a birthday present for my OH all of which we did, I also picked up mothers days cards and pressies as well. I also decided that it would be nice to surprise her and take her to buy a dress to wear for when we get married later in the year. So we did that, picked up a really pretty dress from the monsoon kids section and she was so happy with it! really pretty. Anyway I just wanted it to be a nice memory for both of us (I place a lot of value in making nice memories) and for her to feel special and valued and not pushed out of things like a lot of kids do when there is a new marriage happening. I just feel like its all been spoiled now, its not the day we bought a little bridesmaid dress, its the day she turned evil in town.
I just feel like I try so hard to make things right for her, we've had some hard stuff to deal with but I've always, always tried to do right by her. Days like this I just feel its all thrown back in my face and I wonder what the point is? I love her, so much I really do, but what am I supposed to do? In some ways I'm making her seem worse than she perhaps is, she has many many good points, but I'm sick of the arguing. I'm sick of her behaving like a spoilt brat and not appreciating things. She was spoilt due to circumstances from the age of about 2-3, but I put a stop to it then, but she's 7 now and not been spoilt since, shouldn't she be different now? She's been through a lot, and so many changes in her young life I try to remember that and be understanding, but there are times I just feel like I'm banging my head against a wall. I am at ease with my own life experience and happy with my life but I just feel like I'm failing with her.
I understand we're just having a bad day, tomorrow, maybe even later today I will be able to look at the bigger picture again and list everything that is good about her, but for the moment I am just so angry! Angry that she's had more than most kids to deal with, angry that I've probably made some wrong choices, angry that I can't handle her better, and angry at her, for not behaving like the good person I know she can be.
OK that probably won't make sense to most of you, you can't imagine the changes we've been through if I don't list them, so later if I have time, I'll type a little of our past and perhaps it will be therapeutic, and help anyone understand what I mean.
for now, I will return to the loopy child. bedtime is, thankfully, imminent!
These things are in some ways hard to admit, but once its mentioned and a laugh is had its much easier I think! and why not laugh at our bodies? Big or small they are amazing things, carry us through life, take us all the places we choose to go and so on. Best to just enjoy and make the most of it!
Having said all that I've sort of had a shitty day. My daughter and I fell out rather dramatically and I'm struggling to let it go. Sometimes I don't feel like I am a nice person.... she is 7, but she knows how to behave, she has ruined my day and I want to make her suffer. She's had her punishment of course, she's had money taken from her reward jar, and no TV this evening, and I won't actually inflict any further suffering...... but I want to, Does that make me bad?
Just to put things into perspective we're not just talking about a little naughty like arguing over which jacket or something... we're talking..... arguing (repeatedly), lying (0nce), trying to walk away from me in a busy city, and then (because she'd walked away and lost my trust) refusing to hold my hand, and then - because of that I held her wrist, followed by about 20 mins of her crying and wriggling and getting more angry (I told her she had 2 choices either hold my hand OR I was holding her wrist she has to re-earn the trust to walk freely) followed by her being so frustrated she hit me twice wanting me to let her go (hitting certainly isn't normal here) followed by tantrum like a 3 yr old in the lift, followed by all sorts of shouting and blaming of mother in the car! She IS prone to arguing, but not the rest of it.
The reason I am so angry is that we set off, in order to use her book token and buy a birthday present for my OH all of which we did, I also picked up mothers days cards and pressies as well. I also decided that it would be nice to surprise her and take her to buy a dress to wear for when we get married later in the year. So we did that, picked up a really pretty dress from the monsoon kids section and she was so happy with it! really pretty. Anyway I just wanted it to be a nice memory for both of us (I place a lot of value in making nice memories) and for her to feel special and valued and not pushed out of things like a lot of kids do when there is a new marriage happening. I just feel like its all been spoiled now, its not the day we bought a little bridesmaid dress, its the day she turned evil in town.
I just feel like I try so hard to make things right for her, we've had some hard stuff to deal with but I've always, always tried to do right by her. Days like this I just feel its all thrown back in my face and I wonder what the point is? I love her, so much I really do, but what am I supposed to do? In some ways I'm making her seem worse than she perhaps is, she has many many good points, but I'm sick of the arguing. I'm sick of her behaving like a spoilt brat and not appreciating things. She was spoilt due to circumstances from the age of about 2-3, but I put a stop to it then, but she's 7 now and not been spoilt since, shouldn't she be different now? She's been through a lot, and so many changes in her young life I try to remember that and be understanding, but there are times I just feel like I'm banging my head against a wall. I am at ease with my own life experience and happy with my life but I just feel like I'm failing with her.
I understand we're just having a bad day, tomorrow, maybe even later today I will be able to look at the bigger picture again and list everything that is good about her, but for the moment I am just so angry! Angry that she's had more than most kids to deal with, angry that I've probably made some wrong choices, angry that I can't handle her better, and angry at her, for not behaving like the good person I know she can be.
OK that probably won't make sense to most of you, you can't imagine the changes we've been through if I don't list them, so later if I have time, I'll type a little of our past and perhaps it will be therapeutic, and help anyone understand what I mean.
for now, I will return to the loopy child. bedtime is, thankfully, imminent!
Enough
Gold Member
Aw.. sounds like you did your best today.. hope you get her off to bed OK and can keep the dress separate so that the bad day doesn't ruin the enjoyment of the dress..
Only list the difficult past if it's helpful to you love.. we can support you without knowing the details if that's easier x
I repeat what I said earlier.. she is a lucky little girl to have a lovely mummy.. and despite her acting up today she still sounds like a lovely little girl x
Only list the difficult past if it's helpful to you love.. we can support you without knowing the details if that's easier x
I repeat what I said earlier.. she is a lucky little girl to have a lovely mummy.. and despite her acting up today she still sounds like a lovely little girl x
