personal responsibility 100%-my new habit to do
*Read Maintainer's stories at least once a week-very motivating.
Inspiring advice I found here:
Try and set yourself some
realistic 'rules'. may sound daft, but as someone who has messed up before, it think it can help until maintaining your weight becomes a natural habit.
i.e. (keeping the following new habits)
- i used to eat at the cinema, and get high sugar soft drinks - now i'll stick to black coffee and possibly one of my flappies/maintenance bars if i've not eaten before hand.
- when meeting friends for coffee i'd have a treat - cake, pastry or chocolate etc - now I stick to coffee
- when visiting family I take a shake, when i was eating i used to take mom shopping and we'd have a 'fruit feast' or i'd make one of my special salads, i'd prob do the same again and avoid raiding dads chocolates!
- i have gone without the stuff that made me fat in the first place for so long now, i really dont want to get back into the habit of eating it again (for me it was alcohol, sweets/chocolate'desserts instead of meals and eating between meals so i was not properly hungry for meals at meal times) so in future i will be shunning this behaviour from myself. almost it being ill-mannered to myself. (said with a stern head-mistry look lol)
what were your weak points? tackle those mentally and you will feel far more prepared and in control.
its not necessarily gaining weight that scares us, its losing control again and knowing where that leads. if you can keep a sense of control, even through 'rules' till you get used to maintaining, then i think you will feel far better.
http://www.minimins.com/lipotrim-forum/60631-plan-2.html
It's only effective if you don't cheat. The reality is that unless you eat well and take care of yourself, you will put back weight on. There are many reasons why people eat to excess, sometimes its emotional, but
unless we own the reasons and take personal responsibility for our weight we will always have a problem. You choose what you what you eat and how much, the food doesn't just jump into your mouth, people don't feed you, sometimes it just takes the courage to
say 'no thankyou, I'm not hungry at present, I'll grab something later' sometimes you have to say No Thankyou more than once before someone gets the message, and if they carry on i find that saying that I feel a bit sick usually works as a last resort.
http://www.minimins.com/cambridge-diet-forum/183875-real-weight-loss-gimmick.html
People are adults, they know their own mind,
people need to be held responsible for their own actions and not pass the buck to others.
http://www.minimins.com/slimming-world/213223-slimming-world-quick-fix.html
its me who has take more responsibility and make permanent changes instead of constanting trying to find that 'quick fix'...
you get out whatever you want to get out of them.
http://www.minimins.com/bring-your-...w/65448-overeaters-anonymous-anyone-been.html
the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
Yes there's an element of personal responsibility rolled up in the fact that if the person was more aware and focussed on their eating would they have got that way?
http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wo...-woman-dies-after-gastric-band-surgery-2.html
For anyone feeling angry at getting so big, it might help to just take a look around you. There are many, many people in exactly the same boat. Obesity is everywhere, and although we all have a personal responsibility for ourselves, the junk food / food as distraction rather than nourishment culture we live in also has a part to play.
We live in a time when it's never been easier to glut ourselves on instantly-accessible food. It's no wonder there's so much obesity! It's a problem with cultural as well as personal aspects, so don't feel like you're some uniquely awful person for getting big. So many people are in that situation.
It *is* possible to change your whole attitude, habits and behaviour around food, and well worth investing your time and attention to do so. The rewards are fantastic in terms of self-esteem and confidence, never mind health and well-being.
It's only been 18 months, but my eating habits have changed completely. I know it might seem like an age away, but believe me, when you get here it seems like the blink of an eye! It's so worth it.
Just take it one day at a time hon, don't look too far ahead or put any unnecessary pressure on yourself. Think about long term changes in your habits, rather than 'being on a diet'.
Thing is, once you get to goal you have to stay there, and only permanent change in how you eat will accomplish that.
I can really recommend taking the 'change for life' approach rather than the 'how fast can I get this weight off' approach. You'll get there either way, but with the first one you're far more likely to stay there.
I know it seems impossible mate, I remember that feeling so well. If it's any help, I've managed to achieve all this change after being a chronic binge-eater for 20 years. I was honestly suicidal over my eating 18 months ago. I gave SW a go as a last-gasp thing, not expecting it to work, never mind that I would find myself almost 10 stones lighter within 18 months!
It is possible, believe me. Even for people like us who feel they can never eat normally. I would not have believed 18 months ago that such change was possible for me, but it WAS,
here I am at a normal weight eating like a normal person!
One day at a time. Permanent change, not 'dieting'. You *can* do it
I'm just so glad I gathered up what little strength I had and decided to give it all another go.
It's been a real journey for my mind as well as my body.
Yep, I tried lots of times over the years with different 'diets', WW, calorie counting etc. I don't think I ever managed to lose more than a couple of stone before putting it back on, and more besides.
I set out on SW as 'yet another diet', but quite quickly realised it was like being given a key to the cage I'd been prisoner in for years. Things really changed for me when I accepted that I needed to change how I ate forever, and the SW plan gave me the tools to be able to do that.
Accepting that permanent change in your habits is the only real way to achieve a healthy weight and stay there is the hardest thing to do, I think -
when you're so used to relying on food to get you through life, it's hard to believe things can ever be different. But when you finally accept it, your whole attitude changes
The main bit of advice I would give you starting out is to put all thoughts of 'dieting' out of your head.
Look at the plan as what it really is - a brilliant opportunity to change how you eat permanently, let it teach you how to eat healthily and nourish yourself with good food. It makes such a difference, believe me.
http://www.minimins.com/route-management/93042-minerva-confessions-food-addict-29.html
http://www.minimins.com/ll-diaries/200615-minervas-broken-thoughts.html
One thing I've learned from my own experience is that
you have to be mentally ready to change completely. That's what makes the difference between sticking with it and returning to your old ways.
Permanent change is a scary thing. When you've been in a rut for a long time, dependent on certain ways of behaving to help you cope with life, it's so, so daunting to contemplate changing
forever. It seems so much easier to just stay with what you know, even if what you know makes you miserable.
You have to reach a point where you want change more than you want the false security of everything staying the same.
It can take many attempts before you reach that state of mind. It took me years and years. Failing at 'diets' over and over again, continually returning to old patterns of behaviour, unable to deal with the thought of having to permanently change my attitude to food completely.
I kept trying, though - that's the key. Eventually it clicked and I was ready to change. I wanted that more than I wanted the mountains of food I was using to get me through my life.
Just keep trying. Don't give up on yourself. This is a journey, it's not all going to happen overnight. Find some compassion for yourself and realise that as long as you're still trying, you're still giving yourself that chance to change.
http://www.minimins.com/slimming-world/160355-please-help.html#post2682869
I think one of the most important realisations for me is how much more 'myself' I am now that the weight is gone - I hadn't realised before how much of a
defensive front I used to put on every single day, just to get me through. It's been interesting to remember who I really am, and reassuring to see that the people who liked and respected me when I was so big obviously still do now, and are happy for me. That means a lot to me.
It's very much still a journey of discovery even after you get to goal, isn't it?
My capacity for fun and love of live - they were basically non-existent before the weight loss. Truly - at one point - 4 or so years ago -
I'd actually say I was deliberately trying to kill myself with my eating (and smoking).
Now I've lost the weight - i'm living, i'm happier then I have been for years, and i don't want that to stop.
My outlook on life is much better then it's been for years too.
One person recently also commented that
i'm a lot less grumpier then i used to be.
So all told - does that not make me a "better" person then before?
The weight wasn't a punishment for being unhappy - just a by product of trying to make myself happy. However it did also act as a
shield to prevent me getting hurt again after a few failed relationships - i found being as big as i was a useful way to keep people at arms length and an excuse to not let people get close.
In talking to another Slimming World member tonight - i've come to another important realisation/stepping stone. Before the weight loss - people would judge me purely by the amount of weight i was carrying - but I always used to say to myself that if they want to judge a book (i.e. me) by it's cover - then i don't want to know them. and i will still stand by that.
Judge the person by who they are, not what they look like. But truly - I'm a better person as I am now, as opposed to who I was then - and i'm not just talking about the outward appearance either. Let them judge by the cover by all means, but the weight loss has meant that as much as the cover has improved - so has the content - get to know that as well and if you have to judge - then judge as the whole. If it's just the cover that bothers you - then go away - i don't want to know.
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Another thing I've come to realise recently as well (this journey never stops with it's realisations/surprises) is that it is easy to loose motivation - but remember how far you've come in
your journey, and why you started it in the first place. Then think back over your own journey and where you are now compared to where you were - think back over all those little positive changes that I'm sure you're bound to have noticed in yourself. Now start thinking how those changes are going to be multiplied as you progress down the path.
This is what has worked for me over time - so hope it helps others...
http://www.minimins.com/slimming-world/160526-those-important-little-realisations.html#post2685986
http://www.minimins.com/lot-weight-...ing-yourself-up-getting-here-first-place.html
Personally, I find that
having an anti-depressant helped me focus on doing SW - without it, the depression would have made it impossible to organise myself enough to keep the the plan.
After losing my weight I feel that
part of my anxiety was connected to carrying my weight. I wouldn't want to see anyone as I was ashamed of myself and I found it hard to take compliments as the weight fell off me. I still have anxiety, but not as bad as I used to - I think this is the way I am and I need to deal with the symptoms of this horrible condition, easier said than done. If I have a bad day I fall back on the fact that I am losing weight and I am proud of myself...my safety net maybe???
http://www.minimins.com/slimming-world/205092-anti-depress-tablets-diets.html#post3495496
trust in the plan and follow it
http://www.minimins.com/slimming-world/202309-what-regular-foods-your-shopping-list.html#post3423224
Plan your meals carefully and WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN! Honestly, a detailed food diary helps no end on keeping you on the straight and narrow
don't guesstimate your syns (points for me!)
weigh/measure/count if need be
"Stop when you're full" and "In Moderation".
