DietGirl24's WW Diary!!!

No Problem diet girl . You are excellent at posting helpfull motivational stuff so just thought it might help . You obviously have a good G.P . :D. Agree with you depression is such a common illness but is seen as such a taboo subject . I dont get it really . If your body gets sick ,people are sympathetic and helpfull . If your mind gets sick ,people dont know what to do and usually just ignore or dont talk to you about it.?????
 
aw thanks for the compliment breda! :) yup I was lucky to get such a good GP, he checks everything and doesn't mind me asking him questions. I have no idea why depression is a taboo subject tbh but I think the more people that talk about it openly, the more that taboo will eventually become a thing of the past.
 
Self-Efficacy=self-belief
*"I have the skills to do this", I can do this as long as I work hard (lack of effort, not lack of ability), motivated, try new things, persistent, feel more in control of his/her life (internal locus of control as opposed to an external locus of control).
Things are a challenge, not a threat

Things that influence self-efficacy:
Past performance, seeing someone else do it, positive feedback from someone trustworthy, being relaxed vs being nervous

Behaviours are learned and can be unlearned-learned theory (stressors and positive reinforcement, lack of personal skills).

Learned helplessness
Bad event
a) whose fault is it?
internal(my fault) or external (someone else's fault/bad luck/dont care)-go for external (the "don't care" option)

b) effect on my life
global (everything) or specific (just this)- my whole life is ruined vs its only one section of my life. go for specific

c) how long will it last?
stable (permanent) vs unstable (temporary)-go for unstable, things always change in life after all!
Ok so to recap-external, specific and unstable in bad events.
In good events, internal, global, and stable.

Hopelessness-should always hope, part of learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is just a depressed thinking style, thats it. no more, no less.

Behaviour therapy-take an active role in trying out new behaviours, monitor new behaviours. self-motivated and internal locus of control.
Behaviour therapy-symptom focused, not the cause.

Depressed Thinking styles:
1) sense of control-internal vs external
2) negative spin-internal vs external, global vs specific, stable vs unstable
3) all or nothing thinking-think in shades of grey instead!
 
My 3 positive things:
1. Hot water bottle..god my feet are so bloody cold!!
2. Hot tea!
3. Drank tons of water today
 
Ok my 3 positives today are:

1. fresh trout to cook later..yum
2. making spag bol for family, they havent tried it yet but they will love it, its already bit of a hit with my friends!
3. got my goals organised yesterday

Hmm think I may just post here once a week/month from now on, getting a bit unpractical posting every day
 
We will miss u if u drop down to once a week but we will look forward to it :) x
 
Thanks Carly:) Hope your week is going well hun!


Okay to recap my week:


Positives:
1. Drinking more water, 3-4 litres a day.
2. My persistence, getting back on track in the past 2 days.
3. Working on CBT:) I am pretty pleased with my progress there, getting through it quickly..motivated and eager to do it as I'm seeing results already.

I bought "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David D. Burns which is a CBT self-help book. I had heard how good it was a few times before so I said to myself I would give it a lash. It's a big book, quite user friendly..it's so funny, the author almost talks to you in it, like he will say "did you do that exercise?" after an exercise so you feel like there is someone to be accountible to almost. There's a lot of assignments that you have to do but Burns says that if you put the work into it, you'll get good results. It's the same with everything really, isnt it..:)

Areas I need to work on:

1. Need to give myself more credit.
I was too harsh on myself this week and thats going to stop going forward.


2. Action v Motivation
I keep expecting myself to be motivated every single day and that's unrealistic. I need to act first and then I will be motivated, I know this from past experience.


3. Snacking and overeating

Wasn't feeling amazing this week so I overate. Not an excuse but that's what happened. I've dusted myself and started again so that's what counts. :)


There's all this rubbish in the house that I'm not buying but it's there!! I can't exactly say to everyone else not to buy it so I will have to come up with a strategy to handle it. So hard to resist. Things that I would never have in the house are things like bread, mayo, salad cream, tomato ketchup, butter, cheese.. They are some of my trigger foods.


I'm just telling myself not to go into the kitchen as much unless:
a) I'm making a cup of herbal tea
b) I'm working on something
c) I'm eating a meal


But idly popping into the kitchen will just result in me eating, especially if I'm stressed at end of the day.


3. Need to start exercising again


4. Eating chewing gum and coke zero again, will stop!!


5. I was writing a journal of my feelings, doing thought records, mindfulness, yoga before..all stuff to destress and relax. This week I wasn't arsed at all but I will get back to it.


6. Will do my food diary again and plan ahead more.
 
Okay my positives for today:

1. Doing more CBT work, its much easier now than it was at the start, it's getting like second nature almost:)
2. Drank a ton of water and herbal tea-I've mastered that habit now I would say
3. Stuck to my points-I switched to points on the discover programme as I like having an allowance of points and not freaking out if I eat a slice of bread or something "bad". Strangely enough, I didn't feel like cheating today..presumably because I was "allowed" to eat it. Before, I was rebelling against all these "shouldn'ts" i.e. "I shouldn't eat that".

Had a really sore back..omg it was freaking awful, needed two solphadeine but after that I was fine! I'm so grateful it didn't last for too long!!! So good day all in all!
 
urgh I'm having the day from HELL. It will pass, I will stick to my points! I've been so good so far, I can do it! I will not anything get me down!!!!!!!

phew, feel much better now!
 
keep positive diet -girl . you can do this .one day doesnt make a bad week. :bighug:
 
Hugs xx
 
aw thanks girlies!

I have been feeling so disconnected this week, that's the best word for it..disconnected.

I tried points this week and I always eat more on points.. I am allowed 19 points per day on the old plan, not sure what equivalent that is. I always think "oh but 19 points is too much". It does seem too much food to me but then what I do is much worse..I cut my points down to 5, that's the least I can get by on..3 for porridge, 1 for tuna at lunch and another 1 for tuna at dinner. Like it is do-able but I started feeling deprived with it.. I could bump it up to 10/14 but even that I think is too much! I don't know what it is. I feel guilty about having too much food in an allowance but then I binge. It's very weird.

I think I may just do Slimming World Red Days as carbs are definitely not my friend! (I've looked on here to see how it works!) With the red days, you have to count dairy/cheese as a healthy extra A (you can eat 2 but I will only use one, I'm not a big dairy lover!) and your carb as a healthy extra B-you can eat 2 healthy extra carbs but I will eat one-my porridge in the morn (35g pasta, 28g cereal or 2 weetabix, 198g potatoes/225g baked potato, 113g baked beans/142g other pulses) and then 5-10 syns. I've no idea how to use syns so I will just stick to points to work out my weekly treat!

And with a weekly treat-something like a mullerlight yoghurt/lolly (that would be 1.5points) so I don't end up feeling deprived again. Ok, that does sound somewhat balanced.

Ok my typical day will be:

Breakfast:
30g/2tbsp porridge, 100ml (7tbsp) skimmed milk
mug of chamomile tea
1.75litres of water

Lunch
3tsbp tuna (or one slice of ham/chicken/turkey)..I am getting really bored with tuna all the time.
Spinach, celery, tomato, quarter of a green pepper
1.75l water

Dinner
Okay I need to start having proper dinners..I have quorn mince in the fridge so I can do a quorn chilli with that, use it up and serve it with a side salad (rocket and tomato)
and 1 litre water

Other meals: I can get frozen fish and green veg
Or just the typical salad-y things I've been having but a decent size portion.

And I will eat when hungry only!
 
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Tips to motivate myself!! and others too of course!!!!:)

Use salsa on stuff-plain baked potatoes, courgette, broccoli, asparagus-0 points for 1tbsp, point it in after that.


Roast veg ideas:

Halved carrots with a bit of cumin, rosemary and olive oil
Quartered parsnips with bashed thyme, honey and olive oil
Peeled and sliced celeriac with thyme, rosemary and olive oil
Chunks of squash with crushed coriander seeds, a hint of chilli, oregano and olive oil
Quartered fennel with its own leafy tops and olive oil
Whole baby turnips with tarragon, a splash of white wine vinegar and olive oil
Peeled and quartered red onions with sage and olive oil
Scrubbed and halved Jerusalem artichokes with marjoram, rosemary and olive oil

Substitutes
cauliflower rice-instead of normal rice
courgette ribbons-instead of spaghetti

weekly treat-up to 4 points:
if I should want one!
*1 weetabix (hexb)-1, 100ml skim milk(hexb-1, apple-1=3 (with a banana 3.5)
*potato (hexb)=4
*baked beans (hexb)=2
*banana=1.5
*apple=1

Spend points on filling foods ie real foods:
protein
vegetables

Non-filling foods and drinks
yoghurt
cereal bars
fruit juice
full fat milk-filling but not worth the points
cheese
bread
chocolate
fizzy drinks and alcohol
dips like tomato ketchup, mayo


Don't abuse the system
Point in zero point vegetables if I eat a lot of them
You can only bank 5 points per day..banking points doesn't work for me..
Weekend-opportunity to exercise more


Don't cheat the system
You can lose weight every week if you stick to plan


these are all tips I googled..I needed motivation!
 
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CBT Applied!! lol I knew it would come in handy!!

Thinking errors

1. magnification/blowing it out of proportion/catastrophising

definitely a case of making a mountain out of a molehill. It's only one meal. Even if the food is bland, it won't kill me and I will have enough to satisfy my appetite as restaurants always give you too big of portions! Making out that my weight is the most important thing in my life when it's not.

2. Mental filter/discounting the positives

Focusing on the food instead of saying "well I'm in great company", "I'm in a lovely restaurant", "I'm having such good conversation". Instead of focusing on positive aspects of my life

3. Blaming/"awfulising"

Well yeah..blaming the world for not being able to eat what I want, saying how "unfair" it is

4. Overgeneralisation

Saying "everyone else can eat what they like but me" when that clearly isn't true. Everyone I know is not naturally thin, they have to work at it in some form or other, whether that's through portion control or exercise. It definitely isn't "natural" per se.

5. All-or-nothing Thinking

The whole starve or binge thing..instead of eating balanced meals. Obsessing about my weight, meals, food/certain types of food instead of focusing on small goals at a time.

6. Should Statements

"I should be a size 6", "I shouldn't eat this" which makes me more likely to rebel

7. Jumping to conclusions

Fortune telling
"I'll feel better after I eat this"

Mind reading
"Other people will think I'm so fat when they see me overeating, when they see I've gained weight", "other people are trying to sabotage my weight loss progress"

8. Emotional reasoning

I feel awful therefore I am awful

9. Labelling
I'm so fat etc.


Cost Benefit Analysis
Advantages of Yo-Yo Dieting
1. I get to feel somehow superior to other people when I'm starving myself-"oh look at my willpower" etc
2. I get to feel powerful when I'm starving myself
3. I get to feel sorry for myself when it inevitably doesn't work so there is a payoff there too
4. Temporary high when I do lose weight-quick results


Disadvantages of Yo-Yo Dieting
1. Reduced flexibility
2. Reduced fitness level
3. PMS, period pain when I'm overweight
4. Backache, bloated stomach after overeating
5. Irritability, mood swings
6. Increased likelihood of depression
7. Stiffness
8. Fatigue, lethargy
9. Cessation of periods when I don't eat enough
10. Obsession with food and dieting
11. Other areas in my life aren't deal with, it's just about food etc. Or if they are dealt with, it's in a very half-hearted attempt
12. Isolating myself when I am overweight
13. worrying about my weight
14. Self-flagellation approach-feelings of guilt, shame, embarassment, inadequacy after I overeat.
15. Comparing myself negatively to models in magazines and feeling worse afterwards
16. No balance, up and down all the time
17. Having clothes that don't fit me-either too big or too small
18. Not feeling comfortable in my own skin
19. The quick results don't last as I tend to just go back to binging again. The temporary high is soon replaced with a low so it's not worth it.
20. Not being able to fit into type of clothes I want to wear when I'm overweight


-Evaluation 19 disadvantages, 4 advantages.
Okay that clearly indicates that binging and restricting my food, obsessing about my weight, yo yo dieting etc is NOT worth it.

Here are the thinking errors from "The Feeling Good Handbook", in case anyone is interested! Cognitive Distortions
http://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/StinkinThinkin.html


This is a more detailed summary:
http://www.behavioralinstitute.org/FreeDownloads/START/15%20Common%20Cognitive%20Distortions_J%20M%20Grohol.pdf
 
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Wow that sounds just like me.... I never starve myself but the first bit is totally me! Well done u for writing it down :) u can do it xx
 
Thanks carly:) I have disordered eating patterns so I'm using CBT techniques like the ones above to solve this. I have a post on CBT links on the "bring you head and your mind will follow" section precisely because I think a lot of dieters have the same thinking errors that can sabotage their diet :) Posting here is like having some kind of accountability..:)

..okay I was just thinking there.
There is nothing wrong with having high standards or working hard, it's just having balance about the thing. Only spending a certain time on it and then moving onto something else! I can set myself a set time for each task and then after that I'll have to move on. This will be a good way of curbing perfectionism, the other techniques I've tried haven't really worked but this is definitely a good one so this WILL!:)
 
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Hi Diet girl . I feel like such a party pooper saying this but 4-5 points a day is rediculous. thats equivalent to about 300 cal a day, less than a lot of the liquid diets. You are putting yourself in danger having so little . Please try to eat ALL the points you are allowed. You need some carbs . Try to have the brown ones and they give good sustained energy . Brown wholemeal bread, brown rice , wholemeal pasta . Brown rice pasta. You are going back to the old idea that being on a "diet" ment starvation. Try to avoid the sugars and white carbs and just eat 3 good meals that fill you up .
 
Thanks Breda-thats sensible advice you've given me:)

I tend to do everything to excess-including dieting! Its just my personality type but I am going to focus more of my attention on other interests and areas in my life (i.e. not dieting) because I am giving it too much thought and thats not helping right now x
 
Please try not to be all or nothing... Starving yourself wont make u lose weight! Ur body will hold into cals! Hugs xx
 
Thanks Carly and Breda:)


I have been eating okay-ish yesterday and today actually..Points wise I had 21 yesterday which was 2 over my limit (I'm at 19 points on discover plan) but then today I had 8 points so it evened out. I genuinely wasn't that hungry today, probably because I overate yesterday. I had half an egg with a salad for lunch and I find eggs really filling, like more so even than tuna, I don't why exactly but it just leaves me feeling satisfied and not craving unhealthy food so much. Is it because its protein?


I had a baked potato with baked beans yesterday and I did feel a bit guilty afterwards but I did remind myself that having a potato and beans occassionally is fine provided I exercise and burn it off. I did enjoy eating it so it was nice to feel like "oh wow I'm enjoying eating my food again!" and I've varied up my food a bit. I got turkey slices instead of just tuna all the time. That sounds like a small thing probably but that flexibility is such a new thing for me that I'm kinda proud of myself and my baby steps:)


I still want to get to a place where I'm eating similar amounts each day though but I have made some improvement. I went into the supermarket really quick today, had my shopping list with me so was able to buy my groceries and go. I didn't spend ages looking around in the supermarket and I didn't think about food for the rest of the day. I am at the stage where I am willing to admit I have a problem and that is half the battle really.


I am finding it tricky still but that is to be expected because I am only really beginning to admit I have a problem! I did say to myself that I will do CBT on this issue and if that didn't work, then I would go to a therapist about it so I have a game plan :D
 
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