Dieting with a partner can really suck!!

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Hayleyberrybenj, 3 September 2010 Social URL.

  1. Hayleyberrybenj

    Hayleyberrybenj Full Member

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    I'm doing SW alongside hubby and at first it was really cool to have a diet buddy.The healthy competition at WI was a laugh and we are losing at almost exactly the same rate.To begin with he was so into it and was reading all the books,helping me menu plan etc.The agreement was that we planned the week ahead together,I did the cooking and he cleared away and washed up.I was/am 101% on plan.I measure out every teeny thing,make every meal he has,shop and prepare his lunches blah de blah.I've lost 12lbs and he's lost 11.5 in the past 3 weeks and we're both chuffed to bits.I even fill out his food diary for him because he hates his handwriting..

    BUT we're now in week four and he's driving me mad.Stupid things like the ONE time he'll get his cereal he won't weigh it..he'll pour milk and guesstimate.He's got bored of meal planning so I sit for hours searching out recipes and shopping.When I ask him what he wants to eat he'll say whatever you cook,I'm enjoying it all.
    The thing is..I don't even know if I'm right to be peeved..but it feels like I'm doing it all.Sure he is using his willpower and he has been great at refusing the chocs and donuts that are passed round his work every day..that's great.Guess I'm annoyed that I'm doing all the running around and planning and cooking and he's getting the benefit of the weight loss.God I sound so selfish!!! Just needed to rant I guess and totally prepared to be told to get over myself! :p
     
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  3. shell_y

    shell_y Silver Member

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    I would be peed too, tell him you need some help to cook/clean. Search for new ideas.
     
  4. Fatty_no_more

    Fatty_no_more Slimming for my children

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    pass him a recipe book and say cook for me for once!

    The meals are sometimes bloody hard to cook!

    Well done on your loss so far!
    xxx
     
  5. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    Well, you have a right to be peeved, but I wouldnt waste energy on it too much if I were you.

    Instead, plan meals that YOU like, and leave him to guesstimate all he likes. If he isnt interested in doing the planning, then he has to put up with what he gets, and if he isnt interested in keeping to plan, the results will soon start to make themselves known at WI.

    Bottom line is, much as it is great if you can do these sorts of things together, you have to do it primarily for yourself and not let other people bother you if they dont do it right, because thats up to them. You cant make him stick to it as rigidly as you do, and I can understand that you would be annoyed that he seems to be losing interest, but just focus on yourself. You are doing great and losing well.

    Keep up the good work!
     
  6. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    I'd let him get on with it and let him see the results of his guessing! You can nag and get peeved as much as you like but he may only start to pay attention when he sees the hard work he put in being undone. Then watch him come back asking for advice and hand him a recipe book.
     
  7. Lexie_dog

    Lexie_dog UNLEASHING THE BEAST!

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    My hubby does this too

    I cook, weigh, syn, measure my milk. Make sure I have my HEX's

    He eats a family sized bag of Maltesers at the cinema and drops 2lbs. Go figure. Just wallops milk into his tea. Sometimes drinks a glass on its own. Will routinely ignore the fruit in the fruitbowl and eat "free" not "superfree"

    But hey, compared to how he ate before I'm still pleased he's trying in his own small way. He will occasionally cook things for himself, albeit limited to things like Omlette and chilli, but still if that's what he wants to do then fine. He even did the weekend breakfast one weekend, it was a pure mess with broken sausages and eggs everywhere but he was trying to help and it tasted fine so I let him get on with it. I do have to call him "chef" though. Oh the things I'll do for a sausage. . .

    At the end of the day he's a grown man, take a step back, he'll either buck up and start being more involved or slide back a wee bit to where he's happy. You can't keep running about after him if it gets you so frustrated. It's not workable long term.

    Ask him to cook one night a week - even if it is something like omelette or pulling pre-cooked chilli out the freezer. He'll feel like he contributes, it might get him more enthusiastic and you get a wee rest.
     
  8. avisk

    avisk xx

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    However it may seem sometimes (and heaven knows there is a lot of evidence to the contrary!), husbands are adults who are responsible for themselves.

    You fill in his diary because he doesn't like his handwriting?? You are his wife, not his mother!!

    If he eats too much cereal, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It's his problem, not yours.

    If there are things you don't want to do, don't do them.
     
  9. rosinakathleen

    rosinakathleen Big, busty and Blowsy!

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    Just curious as to why he started sw in the first place?
    Was it to support you, or to seriously lose weight?
    If it was to support you than maybe the interest is on the wane, old habits are hard to break.
    If it was to lose weight for himself than maybe his head's not "there" yet. Sometimes you know you need to lose but if it's not your time to do it than you can make a half-hearted attempt and then stop.
    Maybe in a few weeks/months he will know it's the right time for him.
    There's nothing worse than being told you need to diet, as most of us know! (not that i'm suggesting you told him that!)
     
  10. thelandlady

    thelandlady Full Member

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    hiya, i can t complain about my hubby, he s doing sw as well sort of. last night while i was at the illuminations switch on he made a scanbran parkin cake, a jelly with pineapple he did nt know it would nt set bless him for trying, he makes a spag bol out of sw book and its really nice. and he washes up.
     
  11. Kikikisses

    Kikikisses Silver Member

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    So when are we cloning your husband? Then every one gets one Hehe :)

    As for doing all the work hun you should just leave him to it, if he's holding you back then don't let it get you down just remember who you're doing this for.
     
  12. Hayleyberrybenj

    Hayleyberrybenj Full Member

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    Thanks everyone! Feel a bit dumb having a moan now:eek:
    Hubby is sticking to plan,he's sticking to syns etc etc I was just getting a bit annoyed at having to sort of "manage" his weight loss aswell as mine if that makes sense.
    oh dear..not even * week and I'm an irritable old moo!!! :p xxx
     
  13. anita1975

    anita1975 Full Member

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    hi your not a moo.

    I have a husband does the same, just keep cool. At the end of the day, you both have a goal to loose weight and have a better life style.

    Keep at it, your doing really well.

    :)
     
  14. debtdummy

    debtdummy Silver Member

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    my mattie doing sw with me, he lost loads which is gutting, i have lost 10.5 lb he has lost 1st 7lbs
     
  15. Say

    Say Full Member

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    My OH isn't doing Slimming World but he loves the recipes and likes to hover round when I'm in the kitchen cooking.

    Today he's asked for more of the 'tasty pasta stuff' I made last night (Creamy pasta with peas and leek from the Magazine). He nibbles on what he likes but is good at making better choices and as lost just as much as me! (Plus he gets away with chocolate milk, orange juice, flapjacks and daily visits to costa!)

    I don't mind and it's good that he will happily eat anything that's put infront of him!
     
  16. avisk

    avisk xx

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    That's men for you! They can lose weight so much more easily than women. It's not something we can do anything about (except have a good whinge, of course!).
     
  17. cmcewn

    cmcewn Silver Member

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    :D I'd fall over if my OH cooked a meal and he is on the diet with me too and yes he eats things off plan and still loses more than I do.

    But then twice a week he washes my car, fills it up, maintains the engine and makes sure the inside is lovely and clean - all I do it drive it .. so honesty I don't bother. I'm sure he would fall over if I did all that :D it just ain't gonna happen.
    If it snows he goes out and clears the car down and puts on the heater and seat warmer before I go to work. We all show our love in different ways don't we.

    :rolleyes: Having said that he doesnt cook he does always wash up (ignoring a perfectly good dish washer in the kitchen) and irons all his own kit - but thats an ex soldier for you - I can't even come close to him on ironing. :p It's like it's just come of of a shop.

    Other than that he has all the usual male aggrivating habits that we all know and love them for (sometimes) :argh:
     
    Last edited: 4 September 2010
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  19. nay

    nay Full Member

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    Tell him you're a bit peeved, kick him up the bum and get him to cook ;-) xx
     
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