Do I say anything??

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Caz, 4 August 2009 Social URL.

  1. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    So... there's this guy... haha I already feel about 13!! Anyway, there's a guy that I kinda like, and have for a while. And lately, I'm realising that I like him a fair bit. So now I have the whole thing of do I say anything?

    To be honest, I'm not sure I have the confidence. And every part of me says that if I do say anything, I should wait until I'm not quite so blimp like! But then I know the whole thing of if he doesn't like me as I am because of my weight, then he's not worth it. I know that. And I don't think he'd be mean about it. But I can see why someone being my size would be... offputting! So I just don't know know to do.

    To be honest, I don't ever expect anything to happen between us, but I just almost feel like I should say it so it's said and not hanging over me anymore!

    The way I see it, it can go any one of four ways...

    A - I say something and turns out he likes me and it's fine
    B - I say something and turns out he doesn't like me, but is good about it, and it's fine
    C - I say something and turns out he doesn't like me and is awkward with me because of it
    D - I say something and turns out he doesn't like me and I'm awkward with him

    I'm thinking D is most likely! But I don't know whether I just should say something so it's out there and I can move past it. Either now as I am. Or when I've lost more weight and feel more confident. Or whether I just shut up and leave everything as it is.

    Why is everything so confusing?!
     
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  3. Guru

    Guru Silver Member

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    How do you know this guy? Is he a friend?
     
  4. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    It's a bit of a strange one to be honest. Originally, met online. I can't remember where. Was something music related. But got talking, then on msn, then phone. Over like the past 2 years. And talked a fair bit. We talked a fair bit about this idea that he had for this music project, and started by himself, then found band members and started it properly. So when they had their first gig a while ago he asked me to go, so I did, I was their photographer for the night lol And I've seen him once since. So yeah, is an odd one! I'm generally a bit suspicious of people from online and think meeting people online is a bit odd, not for everyone, but for me, I don't know! I feel silly now...
     
  5. Elvira

    Elvira Mistress of the Dark

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    Well it sounds like you have already hit it off which is good!

    If it was me, I would try to spend some more time with him and then try and work out any signals that he gives out. I am one of these people that has to be absolutely sure I won't be rejected before saying anything!!! x
     
  6. Greeneyes11

    Greeneyes11 Gold Member

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    Dont really know what to suggest.... but I kinda met my hubby online. We chatted in a chatroom with other people, although I didn't actually chat to him and we all met up in London one weekend. He was there and obviously liked me (even though he was 14 years younger than me) and we met up again after that, my train was delayed by about 4 hours and he was still waiting when I finally got to the station. I met him December 4th, by the end of December he spent most weekends with me and we chatted online during the week and often met in London, by the end of January he had virtually moved in with me, by the April we were engaged and we got married in the August after my divorce was finalised. We have now been married 10 years this August, so online romance does work.... give it a shot, what do you have to lose.
     
  7. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Exactly! I'm like that too. I mean, like I said, I don't think he'd be mean about it but my god I'd be embarrassed!! Problem is, I'm not in London anymore, and that's where he lives. So isn't just possible to hang out with him and see what happens. But that's maybe what I'm thinking, next time I'm around try and arrange to go for a drink or something and see. And anyway, I don't do reading signals very well, at all!!
     
  8. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Oh I know that it works, and I love the stories! But I don't know, somehow in my head, for me, it's different. Does that make any sense?!
     
  9. Elvira

    Elvira Mistress of the Dark

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    Aww bless you! I'm pretty good with signals but then the only guys that have ever cracked onto me have made it really obvious!!!

    Definitely arrange that drink. You only get one life so you have to take chances to make the most of it x
     
  10. Guru

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    I would arrange a drink and follow Gem's advice.

    Not everyone that meets their OH online is odd. I met my husband on a forum! :D
     
  11. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    I'm not good at all!! I'm rubbish. I shall have to arrange a drink or something and get you to come with me and read the signals for me!!! :D But then, I don't now how to arrange the drink! I now know a couple of his friends from going to the gig, and vice versa, but not enough for us all to go out. But then if I ask if just he wants to go for coffee or something, it seems way obvious, and silly!
     
  12. b_n_3003

    b_n_3003 Silver Member

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    defo arrange a drink, it might be the start of a fabulous future for you (both) go for it girl, your young, your gorgeous - how can he not like you!
     
  13. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Nooo it all came out wrong!!! I don't think that people who meet their partners online are odd, I just mean me! I don't know. I'm just well suspicious, well, not suspicious. I just mean, for me it makes it all harder. It's not like we really have mutual friends. And just... I don't know. Just makes it all different, so I don't know know how to react to it.... know what I mean?!
     
  14. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Well, I'm young...! lol
     
  15. Guru

    Guru Silver Member

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    I would go for a drink, have a few too many and tell him how you feel. If he is mainly an online friend and you don't see him that often, the awkwardness would soon wear off.

    Life's too short.
     
  16. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Yeah, that's true. Well we'll see I guess. I'm maybe going down in early September around my birthday. So we'll see I guess. It doesn't help that I know what his ex gf looked like!!! lol
     
  17. Elvira

    Elvira Mistress of the Dark

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    I don't think it seems obvious to invite him out for a coffee. It could be seen as a friendly gesture. You could say something like "Do you want to meet for coffee and a catch up?" That way it's not like a date, more like a friendly meeting. Less pressure then too.

    I used to do internet dating a lot and you can meet some really great people. My first love was an American soldier but he had to go back to the States so we agreed not to get serious :(
     
  18. Guru

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    If it helps - my husband has been married twice before (and he's only 34, so I hope he's got the hang of it now!). I've seen both his ex wives pictures. Both were blonder and thinner.

    However, both were horrible to him. Looks are not everything and you are not a minger!
     
  19. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    I guess just being like hey you fancy a coffee isn't too obvious, so we'll see! I think my next visit to London he's on tour, so maybe if I'm down in September around my birthday.

    I know that looks aren't everything, but to me it's really important. Not as in how guys look, but how I look to guys. I guess it just comes down to me and my confidence. About 98% of my head says that I can't see how a guy would like me when I look like I do. And that I'm be embarrassed and it would get awkward.

    While I might not be an absolute total minger, I'm certain not all that attractive!
     
  20. Elvira

    Elvira Mistress of the Dark

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    Caroline you have a lovely pretty face! I'm sure lots of guys find you attractive!

    As my manager said to me today "Every woman has at least one an attractive feature, it's just that not every man will find them attractive." I think he was trying to say that there will always be one guy that finds you attractive. That sounds awful and I can't think how to re-phrase it but you know what I mean!!! You have a lot of good qualities that I can see and I have never even met you so I'm sure Mr X will have noticed many more! x
     
  21. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Hmm... thanks... but I can't see that myself! Ha can you tell that I don't do compliments very well?!

    Yup, I know what he means. I think there was a good thing hidden in there somewhere!
     
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