Do people treat you differently because of your weight?

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by Aimee, 12 April 2010 Social URL.

  1. Aimee

    Aimee hiya!

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    I always feel like i'm looked down upon and not important with people because of my weight. :( If i'm out with friends people tend to not notice what i say, or if i dance they look at me as if i'm mad. Maybe i'm being paranoid but i put it down to my weight. Does anyone else feel the same?
     
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  3. hchappyh

    hchappyh Silver Member

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    Aimee, we are all very self conscience of our bodies and weight and I used to think people were looking at me and thinking fat slob etc.. but since I've got older and have children, I'm not so sure that it's true. I know I look at other people and think, I hope I'm not as fat as that, but that is because I'm the one with the hang up, not them. My thin friends tell me that they don't see me as fat, they just see me...I've started to believe them and actually it's given me more self belief and confidence which in turns stops me thinking people are staring at me.

    Hope this helps. Have you decided what diet you are going to do yet? I'm doing Go Lower and loving it (as much as you can love dieting!)

    Good luck.
    xx
     
  4. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Yeah, I do agree with hchappyh. I think a lot of it is to do with our own insecurities.

    I must admit that I never felt that I was looked down upon because of my weight. I haven't noticed a difference in the way I'm treated compared with before I lost the weight. People are always nice to me (offline anyway :D) I've always been respected and it's as if they've never noticed the weight.

    Having said that, I do think that there are certain unspoken rules as to what overweight people are 'allowed' to do. And anything that could involve movement, be it dance, sports, swimming etc can lead to stares and frowns, and worst of all bullying and name calling from strangers. So very sad.:cry:
     
  5. hchappyh

    hchappyh Silver Member

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    I can't believe how insecure we all are...but when it comes to being out in public and running, skipping, dancing or at the gym, really hate that and feel as if I shouldn't be there as I don't fit in...

    Thankfully with Go Lower, I don't have to exercise.... and the weight is still coming off. When I'm thinner though, would like to go swimming more or dancing or do something more active..

    xx
     
  6. Mummoth

    Mummoth Silver Member

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    I don't get ignored but I have been treated like I'm stupid. I think it's because I've let myself get this size, so therefore I must be thick. Does that make sense? Maybe it does to some people.

    The other stereotype I hate is "fat and lazy". Yes I'm fat, but lazy? I work harder than the majority of skinny people I know! Most of them get their hubbies to cut the grass, do the decorating, small DIY jobs, cook a meal & do the ironing. My (slim) hubby doesn't even know where the kitchen is, except if he's looking for biscuits! He works hard at work but that's it. I do everything at home, including the decorating, mowing & gardening. Until recently I was working 20 hours a week, at college three afternoons a week, doing 100% of all the housework & cooking, plus looking after a family of six. I don't have time to be lazy :-D
     
  7. hchappyh

    hchappyh Silver Member

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    Jan - Where do you find the time? I agree though, the stereo type of fat and lazy I really hate that. I also work 15 hrs a week, cook a proper meal everyday without fail, look after 2 kids (3 and 6yrs), do the school runs, the housework, ironing etc etc and my OH - the lawn! I know he works full time, but my job never ends....I'm not complaining because we're happy and he doesn't take me for granted- -but lazy...Huh.....My sister is skinny and doesn't do half the stuff I do!!

    xx
     
  8. judith55

    judith55 Silver Member

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    I think I took for granted how confident and attractive I felt when I was thinner - I used to think I wasn't that confident about my looks because I'm not particularly pretty but I knew that men often found me attractive and I was quite sexy and funny. But now I am so overweight I've lost that sparkle in me which makes me less confident which makes me sparkle even less - an ever-decreasing circle. But mostly I just feel invisible - I think most people just see a chubby middle-aged woman if they see me at all.
     
  9. Lynn8124

    Lynn8124 Gold Member

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    I definately feel treated differently in society and it bugs me to the point where I don't really wanna go out half the time but I am trying to conquer it.

    Unfortunately I do fit into the 'fat and lazy stereotype but I've a funny feeling I'd still be lazy if I were thin lol.
     
  10. hchappyh

    hchappyh Silver Member

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    lyn8124, I think we've all fitted into the fat and lazy stereo type at some point or another....as a student I was very active walking here there and everywhere, but still fat, and now as a happily married woman with the 2 kids, the thought of exercise when the kids are out my hair is too awful to think about. My OH and I often say now that a good night out, is really a goodnight in! Can't be bothered to get up and go out. During the day it's different coz we've got the kids to spur us on, but come the evenings all we want to do is be lazy, sit in front of the tv and chill and do nothing!

    Thankfully with Go Lower, I don't have to exercise, as the weight is falling off anyway. I am doing abit though, but kinda by default, just playing the kids etc so don't really count that. I'm sure people have laughed at me running down the street chasing the kids and me all hot and bothered, or walking to school up the hill pushing the buggy and totally out of breath once I've reached the top, but nowadays I don't care so much. Think I have finally grown up and don't care what others think, I'm still loosing weight so who cares about the laughs!

    xx
     
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  11. Lynn8124

    Lynn8124 Gold Member

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    Heya. :wavey: Im pleased GL is working for you. I'd love to do a ketogenic diet so that I'd be cooler when the weather hots up more.
     
  12. Lucky Cat

    Lucky Cat A work in progress

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    I think people most definitely treat you differently when you're overweight. There's certainly an element of lack of confidence/low self esteem to it as well, but I know full well that people have looked down their noses at me and I've been overlooked in work/business situations because of how I looked.
     
  13. hchappyh

    hchappyh Silver Member

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    Why don't you look into doing Go Lower. Like I've said before, I really 'like' it as much as you can like any diet and it really works for me.

    Let me know if you want to ask any questions, or visit their website, Weight loss diet - Lose weight fast and enjoy real food on a ketogenic diet - Go Lower.

    Let me know what you decide and good luck
    xx

    BTW, not sure if my ticker is right, just set it up and not sure if I've done it right!
     
    Last edited: 26 April 2010
  14. bobl15mps

    bobl15mps Member

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    the answer is yes, most people do as sad as it might sounds like!

    i myself do, that i know. i think most people dun like fat people, "like" in terms of sexual attractiveness, this is mainly cause by the media and magazines etc.
    Also most people dun like fat people as a person, and i think it is their experiences with fat people that make them feel that way, in an ideal world/ heaven , we should all love each other, but that doesnt happen in reality. What if out of 10 fat people you meet, 9 of them are lazy and have bad temper ? (i am just saying what if) Then when a fat person comes to you, without really knowing that person, its normal to predict this person to be lazy and have bad temper. All i am saying is we cant always blame people for treating us the way they do. I think the best way is to either ignore people's opinion, or try to use it to motivate yourself to lose weight!
     
  15. SteveH

    SteveH Member

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    I hear that, a normal day's exercise for me is 2 - 3 circuits of the landing going to the toilet and back. It's not that I can't physically do the work, I'm just lazy. I'm trying now to spend some time on my bike everyday and I'm also just walking up and down the stairs, starting slow but it's something.
     
  16. hchappyh

    hchappyh Silver Member

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    SteveH, It's better to start something than do nothing at all...and slowly over time you can build up to more...

    Good luck
    xx
     
  17. judith55

    judith55 Silver Member

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    Steve, are you the type of person who likes to compete against yourself? If so you could try wearing one of those step counters and then you'll have a concrete record of how you increase your activity levels without doing formal exercise. Good luck.
     
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  19. Lynn8124

    Lynn8124 Gold Member

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    Thanks for the link honey, I am looking into it. Steve, always good to make a start in some way, I've borrowed my bro's lightest dumbell and try to use it when I can, also taking my dog for short walks, longer if I feel up to it. I always feel better for it, just need to be more disciplined about it.:)
     
  20. hchappyh

    hchappyh Silver Member

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    Lyn, let me know what you decide re: Go Lower. It really is a good diet to be on. Also just so you know, if you mention me from this website if and when you order, you can get a discount - just something to bear in mind.

    Good luck and keep me posted.
    xx
     
  21. hchappyh

    hchappyh Silver Member

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    Just got back from a Jamicain kiddies birthday party. Love the food and love the people. They don't care what size you are. The fatter the better. They love their food and love making it for their guests. If your thin, they want to fatten you up! For once I didn't feel out of place for being bigger, in fact I fitted right in. Can't wait till I'm invited back...

    xx
     
  22. SteveH

    SteveH Member

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    I've made a spreadsheet for weight loss and time spent exercising, this motivates me as it's a record of my progress. I try and increase my time on the bike everyday, even if it's just one minute. My first goal is to manage 5 up and downs of the stairs, right now I do 4 and that kills me, 5 seems a long way away but it'll be a nice sign of progress when I make it.
     
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